Guy friend feels like a boyfriend sometimes and im feeling weird?

[Ofoceansbeaches]

We went on a trip just the two of us to a resort. First, he took a video of me and said something to the lines of he's not my boyfriend and i should look for one and then proceeded to act like one during the whole trip. He has a caring nature but I really felt like I had a boyfriend instead of a friend, so i told him to lower down his caring and worrying too much about me. In fairness to him, i am sickly so he tends to get worried.

I thought he was gay but he said he was really fluid and it brings up alarm bells. He kept complaining i was stopping him from looking for other people to have romantic liaisons in that city but I told him I was not stopping him and he can just go but he didn't. He mentioned a lot of people like him but he goes for the "chemistry".

Later on, we talked about our childhood stories and the things we are similar with. Then, he now has a nickname for me. I mentioned I had a favorite singer and he said it like it looks like him.

He also tends to explain himself to me. Like when i was trying to guard my phone, he was saying one thing he is proud of is that his exes never complain about data privacy.

He also constantly observes me, affirms that he's happy when he's with me cause we are always laughing and mentioned in the past that i meant so much to him to which at first i attributed to brotherly love but i can't tell now cause sometimes he gets really weird. When we're together he said he never gets bored. We constantly have a lot of jokes and banters.

So, i was wondering what's up with his remarks? Obviously i know he isn't my boyfriend and why do i have the feeling like I'm dating someone instead of having a friend? It feels like the ones i see on dating reality tv shows.

[DoggyDude]

What are you wanting from him?

Reading your post, I would say he sounds a lot like a player. Though in fairness, what a player does is act a lot like a decent guy who's looking for a long term relationship and willing to wait (so its really hard to tell, if the player is very good at it).

Knowing what your wanting is key, my first observation is, don't go on a holiday with "just a friend" guy, unless your with a heap of girl friends and he has his guy friends along.

My second observation is, who started talking about being gay? if it was the guy, he's almost certainly a player! Claiming gayness is the oldest trick in the book for a player, they claim their gay to lower your boundaries, feeling safer around someone whos nature is not to see you as a sexual creature. Though, if you suggested the guy seemed gay or might be gay, totally different ball park.

It's really simple, do you think he's hot? do you fancy him? if you do, then just ask yourself why your NOT his girlfriend and why you don't want to be. If you find him, like a family member or just a critically important friend, I recommend you stop spending time with him to persue someone you find actually sexy / attractive.

If you care for him already to the degree he's someone you don't want to hurt, or are willing to be single for, then maybe he's someone so special that he's worth being your boyfriend.

My final advice is, very much work out what your looking for, don't settle. Also, don't let him screw around with your emotions talking about other girls etc. Also don't screw with his emotions if your unsure.

Okay, assuming you really don't have a real clue how you feel here. Your best approach is to just say to him, your thinking about him in different ways and might be open to him being a boyfriend, if he's willing to give you time (define some fixed period if required, months, years whatever your feeling); If he's worth it, he won't try to rush you, try to pressure you he might just ask that whilst your deciding you don't see other guys and that's also fair. If he's a total player jerk, he'll start various tricks to try to pressure you, he'll speak about girls who like him a lot, he'll say he's not sure he can wait.. he'll say he doesn't think you'll wait, anything to make you insecure in the hope you'll rush forward (if he's like that, escape before you break your heart).

Best of luck.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah girl, this does sound kinda confusing! For one thing, taking a video saying you're not his girlfriend and then acting like one is all mixed signals.

Honestly it sounds like this guy might have some feelings for you beyond friendship but isn't fully ready to admit it or commit to something official. The constant observing/affirming, inside jokes, caring too much - those are couple-y kinds of behaviors.

Maybe he likes the attention of feeling like your boyfriend without the label or responsibility? That would explain why he complained about you "stopping him" from looking elsewhere but didn't actually go.

I can understand why you're getting relationship-type vibes when you're together instead of just friendly ones. Defining what you are could help clear things up.

If I were you, I think I'd have a chat with him. Be direct and ask where exactly he sees this going if anywhere? Get clarity on what you both want so there's no guessing games or hurt feelings later on. You deserve to know exactly what this "friendship" really is, girl!

Let me know how it goes. Trust your instincts here - mixed signals are never fun to deal with. You've got this sis!

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic case of "are we friends or are we more?" 😏 It's like you're living in your own little rom-com, isn't it? Your friend, let's call him Mr. Fluid, is sprinkling some serious mixed signals like they're confetti at a parade. First off, that whole resort trip could be Exhibit A in what I like to call "more-than-friends" behavior. Taking care of you because you're sickly? Sweet, but also a tad boyfriendy, don't you think? And the whole, "You should find a boyfriend, but hey, let me act like one in the meantime," is quite the plot twist.

Then there's the whole fluidity thing. It’s 2023, and fluidity in attraction is totally a thing, which can make these situations even more complex. It sounds like he's exploring his feelings, which might include you in the mix. Him saying you stop him from looking for romantic liaisons but not actually pursuing anyone else? Classic "I want my cake and eat it too" scenario.

Nicknames, sharing childhood stories, finding common ground... It's like the ingredients for falling in love, right? Even more, his insistence on privacy respect and his enjoyment of your company scream that you're more than just a friend in his eyes.

So, what's up with his remarks? It sounds like he's tiptoeing around his feelings, maybe unsure how to proceed or afraid to risk the friendship. The question is, how do *you* feel about all this? If you're feeling like you're on a dating show without signing up for one, it's probably time for a heart-to-heart talk. Communication is key here. Are you interested in exploring what could be more than friendship, or is setting boundaries more your tune?

Remember, it's all about what you're comfortable with. Reflect on your feelings towards him and what you want out of this relationship. Then maybe it's time to play the "Define the Relationship" game. 😉

Feeling confused or got your own mixed signal stories? Hit me up, and let's decipher this love language together! 💘

[butterly248]

How on earth is this thing level 5 lol

[NewgodOmega]

I think the women today the so called modern women feel weird about everything these days so nothing new

[laly520]

he seems to be a big player

[JayBones]

He wants to be your boyfriend.