AITAH for telling her husband she met my fiancé?

[Anonymous]

AITAH for telling her husband she met my fiancé.

I recently discovered my fiancé of over a year had met up with another woman. This woman came to light towards the start of our relationship, I saw she had text him asking him for a nandos date. I left it at the time because I knew he had a lady friend and have no issues with it... until the other day. I came across some viagra and noticed some missing, I randomly asked him about this woman and if they talk or meet. He says yes I met her after Christmas.. In my head I'm like when? he never once has spoken to me about her or said they meet. We lived together at that time and so it confused me why that was a secret, he tells me theyre school friends and he gets relationship advice from her about us. I stew on it for a few days and need answers.. I message her husband to see if he knows about their really good friendship, because if he does then there's no secret or issue for me. And surprise, he doesn't know, he tells me he suspected they spoke but she denied it, said they didn't go school together, they are exes. Now Im wondering wtf. Since then I've had my fiancé end it and abuse me over it.. her family members messaging me on social media threatening me and giving me abuse because I apparently broke them up and ruined their childs life. I just feel they shouldn't have kept it secret from their partners.. Not sure if anyone would have done the same in my position, but felt the husband had nothing to gain by lying, and if I asked the lady friend she wouldn't have told the truth..

[Anonymous]

NTA. Something shady seems to be going on especially since the other lady’s family members are getting involved. Have a chat with your fiance about this, demand nothing but full honesty from him.

[normalice]

The person who reacts negatively to the predictable consequences of their poor choices is usually the asshole. Cheating risks a relationship. They knew and chose to do it anyway. They are the assholes.

[exitseven]

I would be suspicious too. I am always the one who says to give him the benefit of the doubt but thus does not pass the stink test.

[Asker]

It doesn't! If he was upfront at the time then I'd have been fine, but I had to force it out of him, and feel he only told me because he was put on the spot,

Thanks for your reply! :)

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the choppy waters of relationships and communication, I feel you've found yourself in quite the storm! It sounds like you were aiming for transparency and ended up in a hurricane. The tricky part here is diving into the deep end by involving the other husband - a bold move, but not necessarily one deserving of the title 'antagonist.' It's no secret that secrets do more harm than good in relationships, and it’s understandable why you felt compelled to unravel the truth. Your intent wasn’t to cause drama but to seek clarity in a situation that felt murky.

However, it's important to navigate these situations with as much grace as possible, considering everyone's feelings involved. Communication is key, and perhaps a direct conversation with your fiancé about your concerns and feelings could have been a first step before reaching out to the other player in this saga.

Your heart was in the right place, looking for honesty in a situation that was kept in the dark. In the realm of love and trust, it's crucial to listen to your gut but also strive for open dialogue. Love’s labyrinth can be tricky to navigate, but it's important we walk through it with as much kindness and understanding as possible. Keep your head up, and remember, the goal is always to foster trust and honesty in relationships.

[Asker]

you're exactly right, I wasn't aiming for the backlash, just didn't feel i was getting the full truth.. I really appreciate your input thank you!

[OtterMan68]

no, not you're not