We are always budding heads, what do we need to do to save our relationship?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and are have been together for a year and half. We have the best times together when we arnt fighting or arguing. Most our disagreements start with a debate on a topic and because we are both passionate about getting our views out- even if we agree with one another- we just dont know how to communicate that where we understand eachother and then it just becomes nasty. When we argue and it escalates we tend to talk it out after and for the most part are back on track, but it just takes one little thing to cause one of us to snap again.
For example: this weekend we spent time together, we has a disagreement but managed to settle it. We played games together and i gave him his space to work when he needed to. For the most part things were great and we were fine, but then last night I was sleeping and he was working (he works late at home most nights) and when he came to bed it was late and Im already such a light sleeper and wake for everything. Not 10 mins after finally falling asleep again, his phone started 'blinging', he checked it and typed something which was loud. I turned over to him and asked what the problem was because I was trying to sleep. He lost it with me which confused me as we had a great day and even made love few hours before. The way he reacted got me into defense mode and I asked him what his issue was to which he said " he is trying to move money around for trades and I need to stop insinuating things!"
I was shocked, jumped up and started getting upset with him. He was being so rude to me and i just wanted to sleep. Anyway it messed up everything... Im not functioning if i dont sleep properly. I just dont know if we will ever stop fighting? Does this pass? What can we do to meet halfway?

PS: We do talk about ways that could help us communicate but we both very high strung people so triggers are easily triggered.

[LazerBean]

If things are already that bad when you're only a year and a half into a relationship, you just need to scrap the relationship. Take some time being single to figure out how to be a better person, then find someone who is actually compatible with you.

[handsomelad70]

Are you also BUTTING HEADS? See if your disagreements can be peacefully resolved;if not, fly, Robin, fly !!!
(The title of a dumb disco tune by Silver Convention which was a 1977 chart-topper despite having just SIX words, the others being "Up, up and away!!!" No wonder most want to forget the polyester, platform shoes, cocaine spoons and slim dresses era , huge purses and its, ummmm, music !!!)

[itsclearlynicholas]

Respectfully, I appreciate that it sounds like the relationship may require professional counselling. However, I for one would like to say for myself, it's reminders and times like this why I'm glad I've remained single, because the downsides to relationships, are things like locking horns 🤘🏻 👿 in an upleasant manner, so I'm glad I'm smarter than the average man. Lol paraphrase 🐻🐨

[Asker]

There are times I feel the same, that it would be easier to throw in the towel because I would have more time for myself and not fighting with anyone, but truth is we arnt made to be alone and we teach one another a lot about life even if its hard. We grow as people and sometimes we need someone else to point out our mistakes in order to better ourselves. They both have pros and cons lol but the good outways the bad everytime in my relationship

[itsclearlynicholas]

No advice, meanwhile I'll remain happy single and saving my money/spending my money. Cya ciao lol 😆

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of relationship wisdom here! It sounds like you two have a classic case of passion turning into a double-edged sword. It's fantastic that you have such fire between you, but when that fire starts consuming the peace... oh la la, that's where we need to redirect the flames. First thing first, have you tried the technique of 'active listening'? It's not just about hearing the other person but understanding and reflecting back what they said, ensuring you're both on the same page. This could be a game changer in avoiding those unnecessary escalations.

Also, maybe introduce a 'cooling-off' period during heated moments. When things start to simmer, take a break, breathe, and allow a little space before things boil over. It's like giving a fine wine room to breathe; it enhances the flavor.

And here's a bit of a flirty suggestion - why not create a secret signal between you two? Something that says, "Hey, love, let's slow down a bit." It can be a playful touch or a specific word that reminds you both to step back with love.

Remember, it's all about building bridges, not walls. Discussing your triggers openly and making a pact to work on them together can transform your fighting style from street brawl to synchronized dance. Imagine that, moving together in harmony even when you disagree. Now, that's relationship goals! Keep the passion, tweak the approach, and watch how you both start to move through disagreements with more grace and understanding.

[Asker]

Thank you for that wonderful advice. Yes, I introduced it a few months ago but it only kicks in after we fight and calm things down. When we both going at eachother it hard for one of us to snap out and calm the situation, when it happens I'm normally the one that walks out to calm down but for me Im able to see it as just an argument and move forward, for him its harder and he re-evaluates our whole relationship again.

[DannyUk2017]

That is Not fair that the Answer you`ve got is from an A. I. built, should be from personal experience!, anyone could do that and get the "right answers" everytime, rather than talking from own experience.

[Asker]

@DannyUk2017 only showed up as AI later on my side :-(

[Anonymous]

Really? That's interesting!! How many heads do each of you have by now? Are they all full grown or are some of them still just buds?

[Asker]

Good question... ill think about that one just for you

[Opinion Owner]

Which head will you use for it?

[KrakenAttackin]

Who needs this shit. If all a relationship is is conflict, get out.

[JayBones2469]

*butting

[Anonymous]

Go to hell you cunt