Calling all people who've been physically cheated on! When did you start seeing red flags?

[Jammaa]

If this has happened with multiple people, choose the answer that has happened the most or whatever you feel like sharing

Before relationship

The beginning of the relationship

The middle of the relationship

Near the end the relationship

I didn't see any red flags before the cheating

As far as I know, I haven't been physically cheated on

A total of 16 votes were cast: 2 girls and 14 guys. See detailed results

[Summeroflove]

I’ve never been cheated on that I know of so maybe I’m not qualified. But I have seen it happen. It depends some people are more intelligent then others and better at covering their tracks.

The number one thing is their history. If they have a history of cheating on someone, even if they play the victim. They chose to engage with someone especially sexually speaking before the relationship was over. It’s not a good sign. If they have cheated on and/or with other people. There’s a good chance it will happen to you.

Another thing is a gut level feeling. A lot of times people can sense at a gut level if someone’s cheating. You may even start to feel sick around the person.

Projection. If they’re accusing you of cheating and you know you’re not. There is a chance they’re doing it, I’m not saying they always are. But many times.

Their stories aren’t matching… If they’re saying they’re doing one thing and you found out they did another. Chances are they’re hiding something. Maybe a surprise for you? But likely they’re seeing someone else or at minimum doing something behind your back they don’t want you knowing about.

The other thing is… People are telling you. Sure roomers fly… But if many people including her own friends are telling you he/she is cheating. Chances are they probably are…

[RHK36]

I could tell maybe damn near immediately. We were married and living together for 8 years. I also pay attention to everything already so I could tell something had changed with her. Turned out my worst case scenario was true. It was just assumptions and I didn't confront her until after 5 months because other stuff was going on and I kept putting it off. Then she gave me another reason to question her and I made her admit it. It was around the time I first noticed. She cheated on me while we were trying for a kid and while my parents were visiting for vacation. With a friend who was married and had kids.

Lesson learned? Not much. People will do what they want in the end. Communication and consistency is key. Don't play dumb and pay attention to the red flags. Communicate with your partner instead of assuming. Chances are they won't expect it so even if they lie, you'll be able to read their body language if you know them.

[Jammaa]

Do you know why she cheated? Do you know why the friend cheated?

[Nikki1989]

I knew the second it happened. Men make bad cheaters, you can spot them from a mile away.

[Chelsdope0]

They sure do. They are so dumb but.. women really do have strong intuition.

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the deep end of relationships, it's like analyzing a mystery novel for those telling clues. Red flags often flutter in the breeze before they're seen clearly. If we're talking patterns, a common one I’ve noticed both professionally and personally is a sudden, unexplained change in routine or behavior. This might be them guarding their phone like it's Fort Knox, or suddenly having "new hobbies" that take up all their time. But hey, every story is unique, and I'd love to hear yours. Let's decode this puzzle together and maybe shed some light on those sneaky red flags. 😉

[Flatmanlewis]

The sign I should’ve caught onto sooner was the cell phone. At the time I didn’t think much of it but after discovering the infidelity it was so obvious.


The phone was ALWAYS with her - never unattended. Yet, by stark contrast, when she was not with me unanswered calls and delays in responding to texts were not uncommon.


I was a fool then.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Somehow I felt it, and a couple of days late I found proof. It was a relief because I could dump her without looking like the bad guy.

[BonzoInBitburg]

When she started going to parties without me just before our 25th anniversary and was coming home at 3-4am.