My boyfriend called me an 8/10. Am I unreasonable for being upset?

Question

My boyfriend and I went out drinking about a month ago, and we got into talking about beautiful women/celebrities. My boyfriend then said "While Elizabeth Taylor is a 10/10, you're an 8/10. You could probably be a model, but you're obviously not a famous actress or something." I wasn't expecting him to say that because we weren't even talking about my appearance, but it kind of shocked me, as I've never heard him rate my looks before. Especially to my face. And I just feel that if he loves me, he wouldn't be rating my appearance. I've never rated his appearance.

I don't expect to be a 10. Of course I know I'm not a Victoria's Secret Angel and nowhere near as pretty as Elizabeth Taylor. But the comment kind of hurt me. I could understand if I asked him to rate me and then he replied. Then I'd have no grounds to be upset. But I didn't ask and it came out of the blue.

Am I wrong to be upset at his comment?

Logan-5 · Accepted Answer

A good man knows a loaded question when he hears it. You didn't ask a question. So he's now at two strikes.

To elaborate, if you'd asked, "How do I compare to the celebrities we're looking at?", a thoughtful man would pick among many possible responses:

Statistical: I don't need someone who can remember their lines and fend off the temptations of show biz, so that gives me a bigger pool to date from so I can select on what's important to me, like someone who considers me a big enough audience.

Risk-averse: Rosie O'Donnell said never to date someone who's appeared in People magazine.

Humorous: Groucho said of TV that it allows you to experience in the comfort of your home people you would not let in your front door.

Religious: God gave you a few slight flaws so that your perfection wouldn't be too annoying.

Word play/dedicated: You're not perfect, but you're perfect for me.

Refocusing: Have I told you I love looking at you when you wake up?

Disarming: I only look at other women because I'm considering their clothes or hairstyle on you.

Gratitude: She can't pull off this look like you could. And this one doesn't have your cute nose. I've read she's difficult to work with. And this one gets photographed with the person she's cheating with. You're way funnier than that comedienne. I've searched but I can't find any versions of this song the way you sing it.

Sexual: To make a proper comparison, I'd need to find out if her XXXXXX look and taste as good as yours, and if she enjoys XXXXXX as much as you do.

I'd be more upset that a guy under age 60 would put Liz Taylor at 10/10.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

. . . except when they don't want an honest man. Yes, what he did was tactless, but why don't you just tell him that, kiss and make up?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Oh nooo 🫢 I’m sorry to hear that. I get what you’re trying to say.. Even though 8 out of 10 is a decent rating and you don’t actually think you look perfect, ALL OF US, if we’re being honest with ourselves, hope to be seen as a 10 out of 10 by our partners. Him not only NOT seeing you that way (sucks to be him) but also comparing you to another lady he DOES see as a 10 out of 10, is understandably hurtful. It’s odd he thought it a good idea to offer up that info unprovoked? Most men, know that a woman’s looks are a touchy subject due to societal pressures to measure up to unrealistic beauty standards. Is he possibly trying to make you feel less beautiful? Why would a man who is secure and strong want to do that to his woman? However, it’s possible he simply doesn’t see it as something to be upset about, because in spite of how you look, he knows that he loves you regardless.. Best to talk it out with him, letting him know how it made you feel. Hopefully you’ll get some resolution.

HelpfulWoman · Accepted Answer

i mean, its obvious you are a normal person so wouldn't rate as high as a model. but yeah, random "lets kick you in the groin" comment for no reason is weird as fuck and worth mentioning

IslaTheWitch · Answer

If a man, I'm with, didn't like me fully, I would ask what he is still doing with me...

Kayla45 · Answer

Personally I’d be offended and outright pissed off if my boyfriend of all people told me that. It’s a weird way to demoralize your partner in my opinion.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Nah. I’d be upset and confused as well. The whole number rating thing is dumb enough, yet he puts a number on you.

Taniisokay · Answer

That's a dumb ass boyfriend. Hopefully he didn't make you feel awful about other things.

Anonymous · Answer

He was drunk. It was blunt. But I get the feeling there was no insult intended, guys talk like that sometimes and 8 or of 10 is a good score. You should be proud.

And if you're intending a long term relationship at any point, you're going to hear much, much worse, and in anger.

Starrrboy · Answer

Yeah rating you without asking and comparing you to some hot celebrity seems very sus and rude.. he either was just talking without filter or maybe he was gaslighting..

Lynx122 · Answer

It's alright to be upset since he said it without you asking but if you ask and he gives you an honest response then it's not ok to be upset in my opinion.

Becky316 · Answer

You should be upset, it was a really fucked up thing to say. Not to mention rude af.

sawno · Answer

No he's a honest guy, he's trying to be as objective as possible when he says something like that. This is the guy where you will know what he is truly thinking, and thats something you can build upon.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Well at least he was honest though what he did was rather tactless.

laly520 · Answer

no girl, u gotta break up unless u r fine with being hurt over n over again

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him he is a 5 on a good day. Seriously, I wouldn't waste my time on a guy who is obviously childish.

Billlewis · Answer

No, if you think you're a 10/10.

Anonymous · Answer

Lad NEVER ask a question you dont want the answer to. Yes you're unreasonable for being upset. If you want him to lie to you, tell him to lie to you. Sad..

addax · Answer

you can be 10/10 for another man, don't worry about it

MarkRealTalk · Answer

8/10 isn't bad but at the end of the day it depends on how you view yourself.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Analysis: He is an insensitive prick and you are an overly sensitive crybaby. His condition is worse.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

You're being unreasonable upset. First of all a 10 on a beauty scale doesn't exist at least naturally. A 8 rating means he finds you beautiful though..

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Just end the relationship. Problem solved

Pterodon · Answer

Rather insensitive of him

My boyfriend called me an 8/10. Am I unreasonable for being upset?

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