I said something horrible to my husband and now he’s not speaking to me, how do I come back from this?

[Anonymous]

Let me start by saying I’m well aware that there might not be any way he will forgive me.

He was mad at me because we had plans to meet up with friends and he was napping after work and expressed not wanting to go. I went by myself and he eventually got up and showered and was going to come meet up with us. I was told that we were going to be at the place for a while longer and I told him as much but by the time he showed up everyone was ready to leave. Once we got out to our cars he started ripping me a new one. I was trying to remain calm and talk things through but he just kept yelling at me and cussing me out. It became too much for me so I snapped and flippantly said “go wrap your truck around a pole for all I care” as I got in my car and left to go home.

I know how bad that sounds but I wasn’t actually meaning to tell him to go kill himself but that’s how he took it and I can’t blame him for that. The issue is I’ve apologized multiple times now and it’s been 3 days of him refusing to speak to me or sleep in our bed.

he said he doesn’t know what he wants to do about any of this. I offered up several options for counseling but he is undecided on if he wants to participate and it seems as though he is against it. My marriage very well might be over and I don’t know what to do.

not in a way of justifying but he has said some pretty horrible things to me in the past and I have forgiven him, I would like to think we can work past this and I am willing but I might be the only one.

[DishLady]

Frankly it sounds like you two need therapy. There was no reason for him to be yelling at you publically — so he sounds like he's in a toxic place — and there was no reason YOU didn't know that "wrap your truck around a tree" means "go kill yourself" — so you are in a toxic place also. Time to go get a professional involved.

[HelpfulWoman]

your man wasted people's time and then was cussing you out?
end it, it's over for other reasons than you telling him to off himself (but wtf with that.)

[KennyRyan]

What you said was mean, which you acknowledge, but his reaction after 3 days is a bit OTT - e. g. not sharing your bed. He needs to move forward and deal with it. Your marriage shouldn’t end over one comment - unless there’s some underlying issue. Maybe tell him you want to talk about why this is hurting him so much.

[Asker]

I asked him to help me understand, but he refused. He’s a prideful man and doesn’t talk about his feelings much. We have our communication issues but I’m hoping some counseling can help us work through them, that is if he is willing to go with me.

[Hellur991]

His fought. He just didn't want to go. And wanted an excuse to argue with you. He's annoying you should just dump him from that stupidity. I'm pretty sure that's not the only shit he has done to you...

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, love, let's navigate these rocky waters with a little heart and understanding. I get it; in the heat of the moment, words can fly faster than Cupid's arrow, and sometimes they hit harder than intended. Communication breakdowns happen, but it's the repair work that truly tests the strength of a relationship. Your heartfelt apology is a great start but giving him some space to process his feelings is crucial. He's hurt, you're hurt, and it sounds like this may be a pivotal moment for change in your relationship. Suggesting counseling shows you're committed to making things work, which is fantastic. Keep the lines of communication open, but be patient. Sometimes actions speak louder than words, so showing him through small gestures that you're sincerely remorseful and dedicated to improving your relationship can help. Remember, forgiveness is a journey, not a sprint. Lovebomb him with patience, understanding, and most importantly, time. It might just be what your marriage needs to find its way back to a healthier path. And if he does decide to go the counseling route, that's a great sign of willingness to work through issues together. Keep the faith, love!

[LiamS95]

It seems to me that he initiated this whole thing, and he's the one that should be apologizing. He started it by refusing to go and then showing up late enough that everyone was leaving.

[Asker]

I dont disagree with that. But I’m trying to take responsibility for my own actions. He has made it pretty clear that we are going to go a 3rd night and a 4th day with out speaking or sharing a bed.

[LiamS95]

He's being immature.

[Anonymous]

"I wasn't actually meaning to go kill himself" no, but you just said you would care if he died. He's wrong for yelling at you, but what you said is pretty hard to come back from. Best you can do is apologize, give him space, and hope he forgives you.

[Asker]

I know it is. If I could go back in time and undo it I would. But unfortunately I can’t.

[Opinion Owner]

You live and learn

[Anonymous]

One day at a time.

You might want to resolve this, and you're not totally at fault here. But right now you don't get to decide when that is. I get wanting to resolve it but you have to be patient.