I am annoyed my boyfriend doesn't make a lot of money at his job...What should I do?

[Anonymous]

yeah..I know it sounds shallow and I probably will get ripped apart for this but I honestly wanted my future husband to be somewhat financially stable...

mine is not financially stable.

so

how do I deal? how do I be a loving girlfriend?

he said he was looking for a better job. love him lots and I think he's the sweetest guy I Have ever dated.

it

all comes back down to money for me

like for a mortgage...

for our future

etc

and he has some student debts...not just SOME. but quite a sum that I'm not paying. hell no.

what to do...

Updates

+1 y

Can I only get people who are going through the same situation to answer, please? I would like mature answers only. I didn't say MONEY IS EVERYTHING. but all I said was it's annoying when I have to pay for dinners when we go out cause I know HE's in debt. I am only asking for advice, not asking for your opinion of our relationship. I appreciate what he's done for me in every way. it's a sensitive issue, and all I ask is those who are intelligent enough/ mature enough to read/ understand ...

Updates

+1 y

yeah

I doubt some idiots actually read before answering

[XRabbitHeartX]

Now now now I think the haters can't relate to money problems and financial stability cause it was obviously never a issue for them. Growing up with financial problems and no stability I can promise you that I know what you are referring to. It's easy for other people to judge and tell you that you're wrong or shallow but I'm telling you now they only say that cause they cannot comprehend real financial struggles cause if they did they'd know it's not nice to have to worry about money. The only solution I have is that you leave because if he doesn't have ambition then nothing will change that. I learned this from dad. He is a lazy prick who stole all my mothers money to pay off his debt and now he has even MORE debt because he's so f***ing lazy . I tell my mom all the time LEAVE and I even told her this as a 14 year old cause even then I realized he won't change but she didn't listen to me. It usually doesn't get better, it gets worse so please think smart. If you can tell he's not going to share your desire in being financially stable then it's you who will have to live with it. Think smart please.

[XRabbitHeartX]

I realize I said think smart please twice but I did this on purpose... to indicate my urgency on the matter.

[WavyCherry]

I honestly can't think of anything to say besides maybe you should break up.

If money is going to be something of importance to you, it'll be something you always worry about. Unless he stumbles on getting a high paying job, it's going to be something he's constantly going to think about too. He doesn't measure up because he doesn't make enough money, and you won't be happy then either.

So I say break up and seek someone else.

[Asker]

read the comment. I kind of regret asking a mature questino when no one can answer it. please read EVERYTHING b4 telling me you don't know how to read

[WavyCherry]

I did read it, actually. I should have phrased my word a little bit better but I stand by what I said especially in the middle paragraph. I don't know what you can tell him that won't hurt his feelings or that he won't feel horrible. I'm assuming he already is working...I don't know how you'd be able to tell him nicely that he's not making enough without him being mad or hurt that you feel like that way.

[Robotic]

LOL, QA this person clearly read your question. what are you pissed off about? your own incompetence?

[Dovahbear]

Why don't you start providing for the family instead? He can be a home maker and watch the kids if you're not satisfied with how much he earns.

[Janson]

Well for starters, it seems like him not being rich is a blessing in disguise. The last thing you want to do now, or even a few years down the line, is get a mortgage. Unless you're glutton for punishment, you would want to avoid that. In terms of your relationship, if money is that big an issue, you may do him a better favor by leaving, instead of staying. Not saying that in a mean way, but if its really what is going through your head when you see him now, it certainly isn't going to go away just because you guys get married. If love isn't enough, then leave before you two get committed in a serious way.

[Asker]

well I didn't see it as mean, I love him but everyone's not perfect. I went to school, I didn'tget any debts. I guess I'll just b patient

[Iceferret]

Most of us don't start off rich, or stable and some of us will ride through financial roller coaster. I understand where you're getting at though with mortgage and family life, and no that's not shallow that's being realistic. however, take into consideration that a man sometimes do need a supportive and loving partner to succeed. You can tactfully guide or assist him in deciding how to go about being financially more stable.

[temptationfalls]

If you value finances and he doesn't fit into your category, then do what you gotta do. Either support him and help him find a better paying job or leave him. If he doesn't make that much money and he's struggling with debt should he be going out to eat? He needs to manage his money better.

I wouldn't date a girl where finances are super important personally.

[Raigro]

What should you do? How about supporting him, since you have more money then he has (as I understand) ? Since finances are part of relationship so are you, if you are worried about debts, lend him some money with a chance to repay you later. You can't be loving girlfriend if you don't accept his situation...

[Anonymous]

I don't even know this guy & I feel bad for him. You don't sound shallow, you ARE shallow. Do this guy a favour & do the MATURE thing & disappear.

How do I be a "loving girlfriend"? Get a job as a comedian, good ones make the money...& you're good.

[qwer1234]

you expected to be "ripped apart" but get p*ssed off when others ask questions back to clearify?

[Anonymous]

Oh frick and hell no. Questions like this prove men right when they say all women are in it for money. Thanks.

I'd say you can be a loving girlfriend by leaving him and breaking up with him.

[Asker]

omg

I think you sound like a jerk but you most likely misread my qusetioN

MONEY ISNOT EVERYTHING!

ALL I SAID WAS I FIND IT ANNOYING. good God. just cause I'm honest, doesn't mean I'm a gold digger or some weird ass assumption you have of me.

this stupid question doesn't 'prove' anything, and hopefully you understand that.

i'm just asking because finances ARE a part of relationships, thank you very much. I see a future with my guy, so please refrain from sticking your judgement of me into this

[Opinion Owner]

okay I read you loud and clear and I do undstand you. since my answer wasn't intelligent enough.

But, do you understand where I got this assumption from? the title of your question. it made you seem like you were a gold digger. I don't know if you are or you arent...but that's what the title alone told me.

[WoIIie]

Its all about the money with girls. Even when they don't want to admit it.

[Opinion Owner]

Men worry as much as money as girls do. They don't look for girls to have it, but they want to have it as much as girls do.

[qwer1234]

... why do you ask him to be financial stable? Why aren't you financial stable instead?

[Asker]

I am financially stable. you don't get it.

I asked those who have experience to answer, didn't ask for a question.

[Anonymous]

why would we give you mature answers when you are immature yourself? go grow up please.