Why won't she tell me its over?

[DMB0320]

I been dating a girl for about 6 months, we have been talking for almost a year. Things were really good for those 6 months until.. I found her diary which for dumb reason I picked a page to read. On the page I read I saw she feel asleep in her baby fathers bed! That night I read it we still had sex, which was the worst sex we have had in our 6 months together. For the first time in my life I met a girl I don't want to lie to.. So on the drive home I called her and told her what I read. She called me a pig for still trying to sleep with her after reading what I read, telling me it looks bad but its not what it looks like. We didn't talk for a couple of days. The day before I left for vacation I went to her house she kissed me and told she loved me. While on vacation we texted, she told me she loved me, wished me a happy Fathers Day, sent me some really skimpy photos. Being back from vacation now for a week, we haven't really talked .I did ask her out for a weekend date yesterday and with out hesitation she said yes. But for the last week and half its been 99% the cold shoulder! I told her maybe we need time away from each other, she says no. We need a break I tell her she says no, what about we just stop talking she says she doesn't want that! It feels like its over to me. The why she is acting it feels like its over. Why won't she just kill the relationship. I need your help ladies I need some female insight!

[Joannaa]

Well Sounds Like To Me She Knows She Has A Good Man & She Don't Want To Loose That. & To Answer Your Thoughts Something Had To Happen Between Her&The Baby father because if it didn't she wouldn't of got mad at you & called you out your name. She was feeling guilty & that's what guilty people do turn it around,but I can be wrong. But she's also taking you for granted & probably because she know y'all relationship been good so far& your a nice guy . But I hope that helped (:

[DMB0320]

Thanks for your reply.I have texted her 3 times in the past 2 weeks she hasn't replied. What's up with that? She needs to women up and tell me its over if its over!

[Joannaa]

Wow! I will take that as its over! My advice to youu is do you & get yourself together. Watch how fast she come running back & don't let her back in your life so easily either because she will do it again trust me. Remember "You Never Know What's Good Until Its Gone"Goodluck

[Anonymous]

I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Let her know how you feel and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I was glad when I finished reading this.Whew! What a mess! First you need to stop all the BS talk. Telling her you all should stop talking for a while...or take a break...whats the point? Very childish. You're too old to be behaving this way. Bottomline... you need to tell her its never going to work out...theres not going to be a happy ever after, and you're ending it. Just wasting time and energy with this one.

[blackkid2]

Um, to be fair bro, it sounds like you want to kill the relationship. You're connecting unrelated things ( her talking less and you reading her diary ) as a means of justification. Have you just told her that you want to talk to her more?

[DMB0320]

I have tried to talk to her, she says she can her "the hate I have for her in my voice". I don't hate her, I love her. I need her to talk to me and tell me how she feels about us. Why can't she do that.

[blackkid2]

You intimidate her. This is coupled with guilt and fear because honestly people write all kinds of things in their Diaries. Who knows what she's done? Who knows how she feels about the exposure? How is she handling the guilt? She has shied away because she is ultimately vulnerable and terrified.

[DMB0320]

So if she is terrified why doesn't she just say she needs some time or that its over?

[blackkid2]

Because fear is not equivalent to giving up or the urge to become a hermit. That's a man thing! Think like a woman! Women ( in general you crazy feminists! ) when under duress group together, men do the opposite and flee, so while you're handling this like a man would she's handling it like a woman; she wants to be near and comforted and you want to be far and hide under a rock. There's no medium so you just need to not hide under a rock.

[DMB0320]

So she wants me to tell her everything is going to be ok?

[blackkid2]

Yes and No. She wants to be assured that you aren't livid, that you are listening, and that you are open. Once there she will feel confident in her ability to communicate and from there it will resolve itself. You need to make the door open; it's not the fact that you LEAVE the door open that makes people feel welcome. You know that. Accept what has happened and give her reassurance that even if it's not forgiven it can be worked through; make it inviting again into your emotional house.

[blackkid2]

Think of it this way: You just want to resolve the issue by any means, force included, so how is she ( or anyone else really ) going to feel like conversation about resolution is going to work? You keep shooting for the quickest route! Hints of separation have never made communication stronger between two groups.

[DMB0320]

Thanks man, you are making a lot of sense.. I think I m going to tell I love her and I'm here for her.. When she is ready to talk, I will be ready to listen. Does that sound like a good idea? What would you do in my shoes?

[DMB0320]

You make a lot of sense man thanks for the input. How would you handle this situation? I think I'm going to tell her I love her and when she is ready to talk I will be ready to listen..

[blackkid2]

That's the gist. You're opening the door and making her feel welcome. The best way to be a host is to show that interest in a person. Even something as simple as asking how someone is once or twice a day and wishing them a good day and good sleep is important. It doesn't have to be a lot at one time; consistency is a far better method of showing you love someone. So just small simple things. Those are what build real bridges and will keep you relationship alive.

[Anonymous]

you are the one to blame

[DMB0320]

Im the one to blame for reading her diary? Or what else did I do wrong? I need your opion your a female.

[Opinion Owner]

i think you must have done something to make her feel that way, and yes you should have not read her diary

[DMB0320]

Feel what way? Look I get the whole baby daddy thing, why didn't she just tell me straight up? We were best friends for a year before I made the stupid mistake of sleeping with her. I thought we had something, but I was wrong. As a female if she wanted space or time or a break up wouldn't she just say that to me?

[Anonymous]

I think you are the one killing it.

[DMB0320]

Can you explain that from a female point of view please?