So I'm tired of getting overly political and shit, so phrase it in a way that all little boys think: Apply the "my dad could beat up your dad" logic to the candidates. Why? Because I goddamn feel like it that's why.
1. From the land that is known as NEW YORK CITY; DONALD TRUMP!
2. From the back alleys and blood-drenched streets of Chicago; HILLARY CLINTON!
3. From the very same back alley's and blood drenched streets as Clinton we have; JILL STEIN!
(There really isn't an intimidating picture of her out there)
4. From the Rough lands of Minot North Dakota where the west is still Wild we have; GARY JOHNSON!
That is the Summit of Puncak Jaya, the tallest mountain in Oceania
So who will win and who will lose.
1. The first to die; JILL STEIN.
Look, it's no secret that Jill Stein is a physician, that whole "do no harm" thing, she takes that seriously. Clinton or Trump kills her with a single punch.
2. The Second to die; HILLARY CLINTON.
Despite being younger than Donald Trump, she looks like she has the problems of someone in their eighties bone wise. She is out. Trump kills her because he hates her guts, which is like 25 percent of his entire platform (which is actually down from the platform of Mitt Romney which was pretty much 100 percent just Fuck Obama).
3. The Last to die; DONALD TRUMP.
Look its obvious that Donald Trump isn't physically fit, in fact none of them are except Mr. Gary (I climbed the tallest mountain on all seven continents) Johnson. I'd be willing to be that after one or two punches Donald Trump would be Winded. The fact is that Gary Johnson is a EXPERT Mountaineer. He's got stamina and muscle and Donald Doesn't really have either. Gary Johnson kills him with a single kick.