On Having Standards and Settling: Views From A Plain Jane

[CHARismatic110]

Standards. We all have them when it comes to dating. Some of us have high ones, and some of us hardly have any at all. But we all have SOME form of standards. My question is, who says who can have what standards? Join me on this rant, it won’t take long.

While perusing on GaG the other day, I came across a question that asked “Do you think partner would ever cheat on you?” Having been cheated on in both of my only two relationships, I answered in typical Char fashion with “all of my partners have cheated” and went on about my business. The response that I got is part of what brings us here today. Allow me to show you Exhibit A:

First of all, people please stop starting off your sentences with false disclaimers. “No offense” and its cousin “not to be rude, but…” are almost always meant to be offend and be, and usually followed by some ignorant shit. That said, let’s get into this little nugget of “advice” here. Being “heavy and not that pretty in the face” is apparently grounds to cheat. Who knew? Never mind that I went into these relationships the same heavy and not so pretty in the face girl. Next, I should be grateful if they come back to me. If they come back to me. COME. BACK. TO. ME. Because I’ll be waiting by the door for them to come take me back? Oh OK. And last but not least, I should just accept the fact that my husband (I randomly got married somewhere on this journey, go figure) will find satisfaction elsewhere but comes home to me every night. Round of applause for the wise gentlemen here.

I would love to say that I’m surprised by these types of comments, but I’m not. It’s not my first time hearing them, and I’m sure it won’t be my last. For some strange reason, people seem to think that those who are seen as less attractive or don’t fall under society’s category of beauty don’t deserve to have standards. One of the main reasons I don’t use dating apps and sites anymore is because of the amount of guys that would bypass the “not looking for casual hookups” disclaimer in my profile and send me sexual messages anyway. When I would politely decline, I would ALWAYS get the same salty ass message about how no one was ever going to take my profile seriously and that I should take what I can get. BULL. SHIT. I know that I’m a plain Jane. I’ve been one all my life. I also know that I’m chubby. I’ve also been that way all my life. Here’s the thing though, being less attractive or bigger than society tells you that you’re allowed to be does not mean that you don’t get to have standards. It does not mean that you have to settle for whatever comes your way because that’s all that you can get, or even worse, all that you deserve.

I feel like some of you are going to come at me with arguments about unattractive people having unrealistic standards. Guess what? That’s a human thing. We all have things that we want that may out of our league. Stop encouraging people to settle and making them feel like they don’t have a choice because of the way they look.

As always, thanks for reading. See you guys on the threads.

#CHARismaticOut 😎 ❤ ✌🏾

#PlainJane 🙋🏾‍♀️🌸

#ByWhoseStandards ❓❔

#DontSettle 🙅🏾‍♀️🚫

#BeKind 💯👌🏾

[rjroy3]

I don't advocate settling, but I do advocate assessing and reassessing what matters most to you. Because a lot of women will be unhappy for years to come purely because of some arbitrary, unimportant factors that they've laid out as "standards". I know women who have a requirement for any guy they date to buy them new flowers every single day. To get up before them and make them coffee every single morning. Pretty much to dote on them from this day till death. While that's nice. To have that as a standard in my mind is just too much to require for all potential partners. Like what if her dude is going out of town? She wants him to call 1-800-flowers or whatever, to make sure she's still getting her flowers while he's gone.

That's a baller dude if he's able/willing to keep that up AND the girl is really worth it. But that better be a 1 in a billion kind of girl who dotes on him just as much. In my mind if you have exceptionally high standards you need to make sure you are exceptionally high quality, to where any guy would actually consider meeting you half way. I'm sure a lot of guys would be willing to meet certain standards for an amazing woman. But most women who have high standards and also complain about not being able to find a guy, in general are not a high quality themselves. Yes, for girls who get offended. "Some guys do this too". But realistically this is much more common of women.

[CHARismatic110]

I don't disagree with you, but at the end of the day that all comes down to the individual to reassess.

[rjroy3]

True and I made it a point to emphasize that. If one asks for a lot they need to be in a position to walk away, bring a lot to the table, while also accepting the unintended consequences of walking away.

[CHARismatic110]

Indeed.

[SnakeOilByShore]

Are you talking about personality standards or standards in terms of looks? Anybody should have standards when it comes to personality, assuming they meet those standards.

That's my general feeling towards physical standards as well. If you aren't a female model and you reject men who aren't male models... That doesn't make sense to me.

It's fine to have preferences, but in my eyes standards are "if you don't have X we don't date."

That's a messed up comment though and anybody should expect their partner to remain faithful. I assume you remained faithful, so why shouldn't he? But that's also just a nasty comment.

In a big picture sense, the reality is most people will end up with somebody about as attractive as they are. So, there's an argument for approaching dating from that standpoint. On the other hand, the deeper the emotional connection the more disparity there is often.

I say don't reject somebody because they are better or worse looking. If you click you click. Don't focus on appearance in either sense. Maybe you'll end up with a male model. (if that's what you want.)

Hopefully none of that came across in a way I didn't intend it. I was trying to give a scientific viewpoint on this issue.

You have a very vibrant deep personality, I can tell from the take. Anybody you date or marry should be held to those same standards.

[CHARismatic110]

I'm talking about both. They go hand in hand in my opinion. Looks are just what gets you to the door, personality is what invites you inside and closes it behind you. I'm big on vibes and energy above all else. I could think you're the sexiest man alive but if the chemistry isn't there and your energy doesn't sit well with me then it's a no go. I do agree that people usually end up with others on their level of attractiveness, but opposites also attract so you just never really know.

[SnakeOilByShore]

I agree with you about the chemistry. I also agree opposites attract, but that can work both ways. I think it's important to have realistic standards.

I think there are situations in which somebody is attracted to somebody else, but they worry what society will think. I think advertising and media has reached that point. We believe we need to look a certain way, we also believe our partner needs to look a certain way. Not everybody, but many.

[CHARismatic110]

Oh there are definitely situations like that. Men are more guilty of being into women that society has deemed as unacceptable and they're worried what their friends will say.

[DianaWest]

you know what, many men are ugly fat pigs, from what I see on a daily basis. Yet they ask out gorgeous hot girls and expect a yes. If they ain't fat, they are ugly and rude and entitled. If they are gorgeous, they are either ass holes or fat. it is interesting to think that many men, who are telling women about "standards," are ugly af themselves and yet they think they are divine. Don't worry hon, you could always dress up and wear some makeup to make yourself feel beautiful. Besides, the women who fit the jerks' standards are plain jane's themselves, they just prefer the fifty pounds of makeup and superficiality to intelligence and honesty.

[SnakeOilByShore]

Nice, that's a real nice description of men. I think women often hang around attractive men as well to be honest. From what I've seen anyways.

Plenty of men want somebody they are physically attracted to and intelligent and honest.

And everybody overestimates their attractiveness, according to science.

Maybe not presume to know what men are thinking, what they want from women.

[DianaWest]

@SnakeOilByShore wow, how do people overestimate their attractiveness when most of them already think they're a 3 when they're really a 7? in women's case at least. Men tend to think the reverse, from personal experience. I mean, if a woman with low self esteem gets hit on constantly, she'll be of the opinion that she is not as hideous as she thought she was, right? but if a woman happens to make 2 seconds of random eye contact with some creep, he'll show her his teeth and head over to ask for her number. not saying all men are this way, but it has been scientifically proven that women are harder on themselves than men are. if anything, men tend to give themselves extra points.

[SnakeOilByShore]

@DianaWest Men may enhance their own image more, but the study I'm drawing my statement from- "Mirror Mirror in the wall, a study of self perception-reveals that both women and men perceive themselves as being more attractive than they actually are. Narcissism does affect men more, so it's fair to say there could be a disparity in terms of the degree this phenomenon takes place.

Women are harder on themselves, but there's a difference between believing you're unattractive and believing you have to look like a goddess. The latter doesn't indicate false perception, but rather false sense of standards. An unattractive woman could think she is pretty, but believe she has to be more than that. Even if she's not pretty to begin with.

There's also a study that revealed overweight women think of themselves as being normal weight.

I feel icky citing these studies. Science is an @ssh&le. But I also want my answer to be factual.

[SnakeOilByShore]

@DianaWest and this self-enhancement is beneficial. In all areas of life. So it's a good thing it exists.

Last thing- you said they expect a yes. If the gorgeous model says yes, that's an indicator she may possess low self worth. If she says no, that means nothing except that she knows she is worth more than whoever she said no to.

[CHARismatic110]

@SnakeOilByShore overweight women think of themselves as normal weight? Like hell we do. Women in general tend to think that they are bigger than what they are.

[SnakeOilByShore]

@DianaWest as for "the creep on the sidewalk." He may realize he's less attractive and simply desires a model girlfriend he can show off to his friends.

From personal experience, I confessed feelings to a girl who was an actual model. I had no delusions about the gap in attractiveness. I knew it existed. But she flirted with me a lot. I still asked myself why she would ever be interested in me. But I started to know her better and we were both in a similar position life wise. I was hopeful she'd say yes, but I didn't think she would. And she didn't. But that had nothing to do with my own self image, which is awful.

[DianaWest]

@SnakeOilByShore okay, well I highly doubt overweight women see themselves as "normal." Not when we have so many encouraging members of society telling us we are gutter trash. But you seem nice, so I wasn't directing this comment towards you. I have been chubby my whole life, lost 40 pounds by eating only tomatoes for 4 months, and then gained 30 of them back 3 years later. apparently I still get hit on by many guys, I frankly don't know why. according to them, i am 'beautiful.' thank goodness for that, right? I thought most men find women over 120 pounds repulsive. so no, I don't think I am normal. should start my tomato diet again. I look forward to going bald. :)

[SnakeOilByShore]

@DianaWest To be fair, these studies do have selection biases. Most people would run for the hills if somebody told them "I want to find out how attractive you Actually are and whether you're uglier than you think." The people that end up participating may be exceedingly confident in their appearance.

That sounds dreadful. And I like tomatoes.

That's another misconception about men. Of the women I've had a crush on, the only woman I wasn't attracted to upon first meeting was a model. I don't find models attractive. Honest to God. Perfection doesn't feel human to me.

VS chooses models to appeal to women, not men. Men's tastes vary- although societal judgment can interfere with natural attraction.

[cherryphi82]

Sorry, but I don't see you as a plain Jane. Maybe you see yourself that way... and that's too bad because that's not at all how you come off. I think you look effing adorable, if you don't mind me saying that.

[CHARismatic110]

Lol I don't mind. Thank you. And yeah, that's how I see myself. It's not a bad thing. Being plain isn't this horrible thing that I used to believe it was.

[lumos]

Everyone has a right to their own standards, yes. For some, it'll lead to them closing themselves off from really good potential partners, whereas for others, it means that they're looking for a healthy relationship in which they won't be ok with abuse and disrespect.
That comment you received was totally irrelevant. FULL OFFENSE, that dude is an actual asshat and I almost wish it was ok to not censor his name.

[CHARismatic110]

Right. Your standards will determine what and where you end up, but everyone is entitled to them. And yeahhhh, the comment was so out of left field lol

[JimRSmith]

Good Take.

EVERYBODY is entitled to have standards.

[CHARismatic110]

Thank you.

[dancing_in_nebulas]

I like that you spoke out on this.

The bombshells also get cheated on, so to say cheating happens due to attraction to your partner is not true.

Most people cheat due to feeling lackluster somewhere. Could feel bored, frustrated mentally, power struggle with SO, finances, and just mere sexual temptation.

Im really sorry you have people say such things, that you should be desperate for not looking like a model.

No, you should not.

Standards are put in place to give a better chance of compatability, and I 98% know your exes cheated for reasons completely unrelated to your appearance.

One of them MARRIED you for goodness sake!! Who marries someone they think is plain and overweight?

[The 2% being that they may have started not to be attracted anymore, but usually thats due to extreme physical changes.]

Logically, it doesn't add up.

I do believe standards have to be rational. Studies have constantly shown that we link up with those similar to our "rating" with a point or so higher or lower.

A 5 with a 6.

A 3 with a 2.

Etc...

Not always, but statistically it would mean your partners were average joes.

I have been commonly "rated" growing up, as a 7-8 in real life. My pictures aren't amazingly professional, but in real life I am used to handsome, stylish, above average guys hitting on me often.

Being crushed on by the football team, popular token cute guys asking for kisses - being called "exotic" and what not.

But I've never had an actual boyfriend!

Here you are, a "Plain Jane," who has already been married.

Looks are really vague in this whole picture.

You met men who fit your standards from looks, to persona to actions.

I never have.

But what standards have protected me from, is hooking up frivalously, dating jerky guys, and figuring out who I really am for the day when I do run into a creadible guy.

They are not unrealistic, in fact, other people comment WHY I flirt or give my number to guys as I mingle, because to them, those men are "out my league"!

What in the realest fuck right?

So case in point, looks are a very small part of standards anyway.

In comparison, Im the one who should "take what I can get," since I've never had a guy before.

[CHARismatic110]

I haven't been married lol. I was saying that guy who wrote the comment magically started talking about a husband. Sorry for the confusion.

[dancing_in_nebulas]

Lol oh okay.

Hey gurl, you still got a couple men though.

Cheating is complex, so why he pinned it on looks was shallow

[CHARismatic110]

Exactly. That's always the go to.

[Investigator]

"Views From A Plain Jane"

There's so much that doesn't make sense here or just poorly thought-out, but I'll make an attempt to dissect it.

First of all, you state that you are a "plain jane" as a matter of fact--despite never formally stating what that is. Are we talking an objectively unattractive person, an objectively average person with a fun personality, an attractive person with an unattractive personality? No, we just have to go on faith that you are this thing and that everything that follows must be true and "woe is me", am I right?

"I know that I’m a plain Jane. I’ve been one all my life. I also know that I’m chubby."

So, wait, is a plain jane usually skinny? So, now, you're a plain jane AND you're chubby. Are these points considered mutually exclusive or inclusive or neither? I don't know, 'cause you don't address it.

"That said, let’s get into this little nugget of “advice” here. Being “heavy and not that pretty in the face” is apparently grounds to cheat. Who knew?"

I suppose this a glib attempt to be smug and sarcastic, right? As in, "if I'm so fat and ugly, why am I still getting dick?" This whole post reads like an angry Twitter rant in response to a bunch of internet trolls. If this is you idea of trying act all "I'm better than you", I've seen worse fails. But this is up there. At least you tried.

"And last but not least, I should just accept the fact that my husband (I randomly got married somewhere on this journey, go figure) will find satisfaction elsewhere but comes home to me every night. Round of applause for the wise gentlemen here"

Oh yeah, really stickin' it those haters, aren't ya? *sigh* This is a child's version of payback. What are you, 5? And, after all that, you act like you didn't settle.

So, let's see here:
1) cheating and proud of it
2) spiteful
3) narcissistic
4) views herself as a victim

Yup, this is some prime underdog material we've got here /s

"Plain Jane" my ass...

[CHARismatic110]

So, I'll give it to you that I didn't explain my definition of a plain Jane. But dude, did you actually read before you went off the deep end? I refer to myself as plain jane in that I'm plain looking. Average. Nothing jumps out about me lookwise. My personality is pretty decent tho. That's what I mean by plain jane. I've been calling myself that for years. It's not necessarily meant to be a bad thing. Me saying that I am one and saying that I'm chubby are just examples because those are reasons why some people would say a person such as myself should just settle. Get it?

You went left field and didn't read correctly. I'm not the one who cheated. I got cheated on. Upon saying this, someone decided to tell me that I should get used to it because of the way I look. I dissected their comment for the sake of this Take. I'm far my narcissistic. This was a rant tho.

But you've clearly made your mind up about me and my reasons for writing this so 🤷🏾‍♀️. Thanks for reading anyway.

[Investigator]

My response is like 95% snark and 5% sincerity

"But you've clearly made your mind up about me and reasons for writing this", nope, I'm open to the possibility that I am wrong and some of what you write is legit. Also, I didn't go "off the deep end", I skimmed the reading. There's a difference.

[CHARismatic110]

Sure thing.

[Sunshine66000]

Oh, you can have a standard. But you need to know where you go first. Men do like pussies. Handsome men gets free pussies thrown at them all the time. So, why would they settle? Why would they take any relationship seriously?

On the other hands, there are not enough beatyfull girls out there to fullfill all the handsome men needs. So, they go on an adventure with average looking girls for one night stands. Girls like you. Who think they are entitled to such guys because they can have sex with them.

You are already 30, so, please, in 10 or 20 years, don't hate on men for what you are doing to yourself now. You are not in the same league as these guys, and each year, your youth fades away a little more.

Men want to settle to get unlimited sex access. Women settle to get men's ressources. If women give men unlimited sex access, why would they want to settle? They have the sex and they keep their money and freedom. Thank you, feminism.

If women wants to settle, go check the average joe.

Personnally, i like italian sports cars. But i take the bus.

[CHARismatic110]

You're a prime example of what I'm talking about mate.

[Sunshine66000]

I just say the truth. This is how the world roll. We all want to be loved without conditions. But people who love us are people just like us. And they have needs and wishes too.

I am the first to feel sad about it. But it is how it is, we are all selfish animals. Nothing more.

I'd like to say that the only true love is the love of a mother for her child. She have nothing to earn from that yet she still loves the kid. The kid love the mom because she provides and protect by the way.

[vendetta671]

You're an idiot dude.. She never said she's looking for a hot guy. She just said she's looking for a nice, loyal and kind person. Just because she's not a supermodel it doesn't mean she has to accept settling for any rude cheat that comes her way

Also here's a small secret. Guys don't settle for hot girls.. They settle for girls from the same socio-economic class as them. If they had to choose between a hot girl and an average girl that is the CEO of a company and went to Harvard, they'd go for the second because looks fade... Money is the only thing that doesn't fade tho

[Astraea]

This was painful for me to read and I'm really sorry there are so many insensitive jerks out there, I really don't know where they come from. I don't even consider people without empathy actually human, they look like a human, they walk like one but they are far from being one. They aren't even close to being on the same level as you. Try to ignore them like their opinion means nothing because really it doesn't, to me they are sub-human because they act that way.

[CHARismatic110]

I've got thick skin at this point

[Astraea]

Well that's good but you shouldn't have to put up with that crap.

[DizzyDesii]

I hate that you use plain jane in a bad way. But ig thats the real defintion. I don't know. I consider myself a plain jane because i dont wear makeup and i dont have a big butt and i dont party/drink/smoke. I don't know. Anyways, sad you experienced that. G@G be harsh af. Real world is prob worse

[CHARismatic110]

I'm not really using it as a negative. I used to think of it that way. But to me plain jane is just that, plain. Average. Nothing jumps out about me lol. But yeah, GaG is home to some real dickheads. People IRL dont actually tend to be as rude. Guess because they dont have screens and keyboards to hide behind.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea, guess so :(

[monkeynutts]

You need a tomb raider outfit, try being lara croft, think adventure, treasure, saying plain and ordinary is putting yourself down. Attitude sells you, if you have standards, raise the bar for yourself too, aim for excellence. You will get what you want.

[DizzyDesii]

@monkeynutts who me?

[monkeynutts]

No charismatic 110

[Jemini_Crocket]

I'm sorry this happened to you, I don't think that anyone has the right to judge other people no matter how they look. I learned to be myself but it was pretty hard. I'm not perfect but that's impossible to achieve in today's society anyway.
You're either too fat, too thin, too fit and so on.

[CHARismatic110]

Perfection is overrated

[Jemini_Crocket]

Agreed.

[Shadow44]

I agree. If you're not attracted to your partner you shouldn't be with them in the first place. I believe if your standards are reasonable you shouldn't settle but if you have a ridiculous set of standards at some point you have to realize that a lot of those are preferences and that you won't have all of those preferences.

[CHARismatic110]

True

[newbie2015]

This is disturbing. The comment you received i mean. And just for the record, i have a few friends who have extra weight and their men are atrracted to their figures. I've been called too skinny before. But its not about finding a man who employs todays hollywood standards upon you. Its about finding the right fit for you, someone who loves you and finds you beautiful as is

I will also say physical beauty rarely lasts. So its probably lower on my list then personality anyway.

[CHARismatic110]

It's always about finding the right person for you.

[Catholicgirl22]

I have high standards too but I can reasonably measure up to them. The problem with having standards that are to high and not being willing to settle on a partner who doesn't quite measure up is that You are missing an opportunity to be happy, I mean the partner you like may have high standards of their own.

[CHARismatic110]

True, but that all comes down to the individual. I personally don't feel that my standards are very high. I do know my worth thi and it's taken me a long time to figure it out so at this point in life, I'm not willing to lower them or settle.

[ManOnFire]

This is a good Take with a simple message. Even the 'plain' or less attractive people can want someone good looking, the only thing is that it probably will be harder for them if they know that but still shouldn't just settle, because there will still be a perfect somebody out there for them.

[CHARismatic110]

Lol close enough

[ManOnFire]

Whaaaaat. What'd I sayyyy?😛

[CHARismatic110]

Lol your summary was accurate enough. Good job. I think this is the first Take of mine you've commented on too.

[ManOnFire]

I think so, yeah. Because I almost never see any of your Takes and I don't know why. Only ones I remember are the 2 you wrote about Philly 2 years ago lol.

[CHARismatic110]

I've written over 100 and if those are the 2 that you remember, I can't even be that mad lol. I think I did my city good. #Philly ❤

[ManOnFire]

And long live #WashingtonDC 😄

[D_Bone_Steak]

I get what you're saying but I cringe at how you blame 'society' for the standards rather than genetics. Genetics that are more prone to liking your body type might be more accepting of it... but are you accepting them as first pick in a lineup... right, neither are they. ... although, you did kinda touch this issue in the last paragraph so I feel like you're aware of this thought already, at least to some degree.

Males are known for... um... how should I put this... not taking rejection well. Little known fact... damn, females are the same. People just don't view it as the same level of evil though. Nothing sucked more than having miss piggy scream at me for not wanting to be with her in the courtyard of my highschool in front of everybody as a way to try and shame me for not wanting her. It's not like I was screaming out my rejection of her publicly to begin with. Anecdotal yeah... but, just a good example of how this bullshit really is a two way street between our genders.

[CHARismatic110]

Ok so, I'm kind of confused as to what genetics has to do with anything.

And I don't know anyone who takes rejection well, male or female.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Some genetics prefer certain body types over others. Like when me and my black friend (I'm white) argued about whether the Japanese women (we lived in Japan) were worth much. I saw more value in them than he, he was stopped short because they didn't have a big ass. I made the argument that their ass was fine... it's tight, not fat, and it's not like it's a flubbly Elmer Fudd ass. Also they have a tendency to not get fat overall. We simply had a genetic disagreement on what is preferable.

I strongly believe we have genetic 'preferences' as it's put. I mean some men find women I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole attractive... but to be honest, those dudes kinda look like they would go after a wildebeest because they look like one to me.

[StrappingYoung]

You can set whatever standards you want to set and you can stick by them as adamantly as you want but what happens when you go your whole life waiting for someone to fall into these standards and they never come? Do you just be happy that you never settled even though you also never got to have a family (if that was one of your goals)? I think not settling would leave some people very unfulfilled instead of somewhat fulfilled.

[CHARismatic110]

I think that at some point some people realize that their standards are too high are maybe unrealistic and they do some shifting. And other people are quite secure in what they want and go through life not willing to lower their standards. And at the end of their time they ARE content with having not settled. I think it depends on the individual.

[HamAndCheese]

When you have outrageous standards, you are effectively expecting someone to settle for you. To this end, why should I not expect someone to settle for me? Furthermore, your claim that, "we all have things that we want that may out of our league" is fundamentally untrue. If I deem a girl too attractive for me, I don't waste her time.

[CHARismatic110]

You shouldn't expect anyone to settle for you. It's not fair to you or them. Why would you want that for yourself? It's not about "outrageous standards". I expected my boyfriend to be loyal and faithful and not cheat on me, how outrageous!

[HamAndCheese]

Oh yeah, obviously cheating is wrong. But I mean broadly speaking.

[arnoldsmith]

you are not super hot
you are average

you can't go up to a 9 of a man
and say I WON'T SETTLE LOL

when you are like a 6
so guess what

for the most part you will get an average man
most likely

maybe a 7 or 8
but for the most part probably not

on top of that you need to do exercise
its; pretty obvious you are out of shape

and If you think im mean
im not
this is me being honest
and I love every second of it
cause you girls can't do it

[CHARismatic110]

Reading is fundamental. Thanks for your honesty tho!

[karennn]

I am single because I solely choose to know my worth and I know that anything that comes less than my standards is not worthy of my time. I admire you for posting this. That douchebag had it coming and needed to be called out.

[CHARismatic110]

Thank you! And that is definitely the way you should be.

[Guanfei]

Not wanting to be cheated on isn't a standard, it's mandatory in a relationship.
As for the rest, everyone has a line under which they won't go. Even I, as a messy ugly ginger, wouldn't date anyone. Of course I'm more open, since my lack of success doesn't give me the choice but to broaden my horizon, but I still have standards.
Also, according to your pic, you don't look bad.

[CHARismatic110]

Thank you.

[CubsterShura]

I hate it too! Except in my case it's about race. I have no idea why the Desi society gets butthurt when our girls marry foreigner dudes. They are like, we should settle down to our men, lmao. I hope I'm not the only one who sees the irony here.

[CHARismatic110]

It's weird because settling isn't encouraged in other areas of life. It's all reach for the stars and follow your dreams and such. But just take what you can get when it comes to dating lol.

[CubsterShura]

People can have standards, but there is an excessive of everything also your attitude towards your standards matter.

[CHARismatic110]

Indeed

[Logorithim]

Well, it is true that some people do have some expectations that could use some modifications, but I see market influences at work. If your selling price is too high or you don't want to pay the market price, so to speak, you may be a single a lot of time until you make some adjustments or just get lucky.