Would you date someone who was paralyzed?

Question

I just read the most heartbreaking story. A woman was hit by a drunk driver, which made her paralyzed from the waist down. After the incident, her whole world turned upside down. She lost all of her friends, her boyfriend, and her life. But she was determined not to let this defeat her. She's speaking with a therapist and going through treatment, but this incident has ruined her whole life. I feel the upmost empathy for her. 

So this had me thinking... Would you date a quadriplegic? If they were attractive, and had the personality you desired, but they were in a wheelchair and paralyzed, would you at least give them a chance? I want to know. :)

FashionQueen86 · Accepted Answer

I had to pick the "Other" option becuase since I'm not in the situation, I would have no idea what to predict. If I was already dating somebody that became paralyzed, who knows what emotions I would feel. I would probably start thinking about the future, knowing he won't be able to do this I'd like for us to do, like run in the field, go to the park and jog together, he would have to be taken care of all the time (depending on the severity of the condition). I work with a lady who has to miss work all the time becuase her husband is sort of in the same condition. So, it's totally a whole different world. But what I can say with confidence is that if... and IF I truly loved him, then all the burdens and problems would be worth it if it mean I could stay with him.

The thing that would make me hella mad is if the drunk driver walked free with no type of punishment.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

Would I stay with someone who I was in a LTR with or married to after they got into an accident and became quadriplegic?
Yes, most likely.

Would I date or develop an interest in someone who I may find has a good personality and I get along with well, but who wouldn't be able to participate in activities that I enjoy a lot like biking, playing badminton, or just going to the gym and spending the majority of time on the elliptical together?
No. Despite this person possibly being very attractive or having a personality that meshes well with my own, that doesn't trump the fact that a lot of my needs from the relationship, or things I like spending a lot of my time (while not at work/school) doing would be things they'd be unable to join me in doing. Not to mention sexual things...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I'd be absolutely lying if I said quadriplegic, but paraplegic, yes. I actually used to volunteer in a rehabilitation center for a while, and there was this paraplegic guy in the ward where I volunteered there that I totally found attractive, and he had a great attitude despite his recent predicament.

It's really hard to think about because you know it could happen to anybody, and you personally wouldn't want people to reject you just because you had a disability, but you're asking for like this intense commitment to sharing in what a lot of times can be a major burden, mentally, physically, emotionally. It does take the right kind of person on both ends to handle it all.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

If it had an impact on our sex life and our ability to do things together, as terrible as it is I couldn't enter a relationship with somebody like that. However if we were together previously, I would at least TRY to make it work. I can't say whether or not we'd stay together for sure.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

For me, sex is an essential ingredient on a relationship. By itself, it does not make a relationship but the absence of sex can ruin a relationship. If she is not capable of participating in an active and mutually satisfying sexual relationship, she would not be a prospect for a LTR with me and so there would be no reason to date her.

My decisions about who I date must first be fair to me. If it seems "unfair" to her, consider how fair it would be for me to date her if I would never be satisfied with her.

Yumix · Accepted Answer

first, I would NEVER leave my girlfriend or friends if they'd get paralyzed after an accident.

BUT I'd be reluctant to start dating a paralyzed girl, just because it brings many limitations, costs and work with you. If I meet a girl through friends or job and we fall in love with each other, sure I'll go for it. But if I'm on a dating app and I see she's paralyzed, I'll swipe left.

Dipsy · Answer

It really, really depends. Like, if she already was mu girlfriend, then I would, of course, stay with her. But if she was a random girl I met, it may really depend. I don't wanna be mean and say 'no'.
This question is so hard.. I really don't know. I guess it would depend on the person.

Call me sad and miserable, but what I would do is try to not to get too close to such a girl. Just kinda distant, so both of us don't start to like each other. Nobody gets hurt. But I think my way of thinking is kinda sad. What do you think?

Luci92 · Answer

If I loved the hypothetical SO, then I would stay without a doubt.
I remember watching this documentary called Murderball for English, about quadriplegics. It was actually quite interesting, and changed my outlook on dating someone who's paralyzed. Before seeing it, I would have said not a chance in hell, but after watching that, I'd give it a shot, sure.
I can recommend the doco to anyone interested in this sort of thing --I thought it was really fascinating.

Anonymous · Answer

Girl in pic is fucking hot.

I will now share a cringeworthy story, primarily for any lurking readers who might find this question who are in this woman's position wondering the same thing.

I was walking home from work one day, and passed a woman in a wheelchair heading the other direction. Cute, looked a bit like woman in the photo (not identical) but roughly like that. She's wheeling away, and I kind of just watched her as I passed, and noticed like her grip and power from using her hands/arms to get around all day... and... it crossed my mind that she must be capable of such amazing handjobs.

So all the women in this situation, not only could men overlook your challenge and see you as a person, but you can still be a hot piece of sexiness at times as well. You're not just some charity case we can connect with, we can flat out lust for you just like any other woman.

EmpatheticLady · Answer

Honestly, if I already loved the person, I would continue to be with him. However, I'm not sure if I could start dating someone new like that. :-/ I feel bad saying it, but it would probably be too difficult.

Jxpxtxr · Answer

Honestly, I wouldn't because I have so many hobbies that are very active and require functional limbs like climbing and martial arts and I'd prefer to date someone who can do those things with me. Most paralysed people also require a lot of care because there's so many things they can't do on their own and I have way too much stuff going on myself that I couldn't take that responsibility; hell I can hardly look after my plants.. If I was already in love with someone and they had an accident that would paralyse them that wouldn't be a reason for me to break up though, unless they became really bitter about it.

Mustachekitteh · Answer

I know how that feels when people you thought were close friends but then leave the second you get into an accident. Though with me I didn't become paralyzed, just totaled my car so they left since I lost my usefulness to them. Doubt they would have cared if I had died in that wreck or not.

I've gone on a date with a dude in a wheel chair before and I had fun.

Hidden_P · Answer

Other.

I would absolutely keep dating them, I wouldn't give up, however, it would depend how the relationship continued.

Take the extra needs out of the equation. From my partner I expect love, support, respect, I need emotional support. And I totally respect it's the other way around as well. But with a trauma like that, long term it will effect both people. It would be that long term effect that would decide it for me.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Well... I'll be a realist - if they can still have children, then yes I would. Otherwise, no. I mean, I want children of my own in the future and if she won't be able to provide them then I don't see a future with her.

CHARismatic110 · Answer

I wouldn't leave my boyfriend if he got hurt. I think that's so messed up. I mean I understand that it's a lot to handle, but still.

SarahsSummer · Answer

A paraplegic I would. A quadriplegic it would require me to be in a position to be able to. It seems to be an all encompassing life.

OrangeBoy · Answer

Two different thing.

Would i KEEP dating my girlfriend after she got paralized. - Probably YEs, and look for ways to put her ok.

Would i START dating a paralized person - Probably NOT.

If something happened with me and i got paralised...
MAYBE i would do what i could so that she would hate me and leave me.

Obviously thaat's just me thinking about this in 2 minutes.
On real life, any of my opinions could be different.
I just don't know without feeling it.

HandsomeRaj · Answer

Vote 'A'

Just as I don't shop by looks & body type for dating, I don't look for these things either.

For me mutual liking & compatibility matters where I don't care if she's paralysed or blind or mute

Bluemax · Answer

Probably. by the way, that woman in the pic isn't quadrapelegic.

DaniaMQ · Answer

I can't believe her boyfriend and friends left her when she most needed them... like they knew her before she was paralyzed so leaving her is curler. Poor woman :(

anyways, its hard to think of dating/marrying someone who's paralyzed (in case you knew them AFTER that incident not before) buuuut, lets say that person is such an amazing guy, we have lots of things in common and he's actually what o wanted in a guy... then I think I might reconsider it.

Hans222 · Answer

Dating certainly yes :D
Of course, being realistic, you have to be sure that if it would become long term you are capable of taking care of the person... even if you love him or her inside out not everyone could manage that :o

FingerDancer · Answer

Sure I would date someone who WAS paralyzed. That suggests that now she is not paralyzed. But joking aside, if she was still paralyzed, I would date her if I found her attractive in other ways than a dance partner.

Just my opinion

meatballs21 · Answer

Quadriplegic means loss of the use of all four limbs. The story you've given and the picture shown are of a woman who is paraplegic.

While I was single I saw a few girls on dating sites who were paraplegic or had limited mobility. I messaged them the same as I would have anyone else.

Zendrya · Answer

Its less likely I would start a relationship with someone in a wheelchair (all though it isn't totally impossible) but I certainly wouldn't stop being with my boyfriend if he all of sudden had to be in a wheelchair. We aren't married yet but I still have the mindset of until death due us part for us.

Red_Arrow · Answer

You are asking about a quadriplegic, but the story is about a paraplegic. Dealing with a paraplegic would be much easier than a quadraplegic, and I would have no problems with a paraplegic.

somebodysaycheese · Answer

Yes. One of the coolest and most gorgeous guys i have meet was in a wheelchair. I was going to ask him out until a friend told me he was engaged. Like he was amazing and upbeat, active... etc

Waffles731 · Answer

Yes, I would if we had things in common and a connection.

cinderelli · Answer

it depends on the person.. would I start dating someone who is paralyzed.. probably not.. would I stay if something horrible happens to my boyfriend or husband.. hell yes,,

reixun · Answer

No I couldn't sorry. If I was with him and he became paralyzed, I would be with him. But I'd be reluctant to start a relationship with a paralyzed man.

RicanEyes · Answer

If I was already with the person and something like this happen then yes. Or they were in the army and came back like this then sure. I mean I really have to love the person.

Anonymous · Answer

If it happened to my man, I would stay with him. However, if I were single, I wouldn't. My life is already extremely difficult because of my CFS. I wouldn't be able to cope caring for a paralyzed person.

TripleAce · Answer

If We fell in love before yes. Otherwise I must admit I don't think she would fall for me. We simply wouldn't have the same things in common

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

Yess, for example if I were going out with lets say a Marine and he got deployed and he came back really messed up, I would still support him and go out with him when he came back home. <3

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, @RainbowFanGirl, I would.
In fact, as I write this, I am "Speaking to Someone Special" who Has... Special Needs.
It takes 'Someone Special' to Make the Effort to Take the Time to get Involved with 'Someone' who is Different than Them that do Require... Extra Time.
Good luck and Great question, Thanks for Sharing. xx

hotstuffSRD · Answer

I don't know maybe I would  It would be hard though

Phoenix98 · Answer

I'd certainty give it a shot I couldn't say whether or not it would work out but I'd at least give it a try.

dogbert444 · Answer

I would have no problem at all. The evidence is on GAG somewhere.

jjmarvin · Answer

I have no issues in terms of attraction, but there might be some extra problems relationship wise depending on the disability

ElissaDido · Answer

If we were already before the accident, of course, I would NEVER leave anyone, it's very scummy to leave them when they need you the most.
But otherwise, I'm not saying never, because you never know who you fall for, but it's unlikely to happen...

lifeisajoke · Answer

lol she fucked enough chad before she got paralysed, prolly couldnt cross the street properly coz her legs were too tired from being gangbanged in football changing rooms like all hoes these days.

If something like this happens to me, its suicide time lmfao

Princeofanons · Answer

I'm not sure but it's possible if I love her that much

Ahmed_Sy15x · Answer

I would say yes, why? cuz those paralyzed people would love you more than most of those normal people and will stay loyal to you.

Blonde401 · Answer

If they were the right person for me, then yeah I would. I certainly wouldn't just leave someone I was with just because they went through a tragedy and ended up in a wheel chair.

Goldie757 · Answer

I would not leave my boyfriend if this was to happen, but U don't think I would start a relationship with someone like that. Also her friends are assholes, she is much better without them.

MadeInAmerica · Answer

No I probably wouldn't. Now if I knew her before the accident and was interested before that wouldn't steer me away and of course the boyfriend is a dick, I would have stayed with her.

ChocoLada · Answer

It depends, I wouldn't leave my future boyfriend if he gets paralyzed, but I'm not sure if I would rush into a relationship with a guy who is already paralyzed.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

I'm gonna be honest here: no, I wouldn't. It sounds romantic at first but in reality you couldn't have sex and you'd literally have to nurse her (including helping her in the restroom).

Anonymous · Answer

I said B because I am not sure if I am enough to handle all her extra needs. But if she invited me to a date, I would say yes to see how possible it is.

Yana_KN · Answer

This is truly sad and heartbreaking. When you're in need you really find out who your true friends are.

relaxrelax · Answer

yes but i have to find her attractive to an extent  and she has to be fun and have knowledge

warrior0345 · Answer

Yes I would the girl would be special to me before the accident and she would be special to me after the accident nothing could change that

Roadcruiser1 · Answer

Probably no especially since I can not look after myself here.

RachelBrigs · Answer

I feel bad saying this but I most likely would not.

Sophiaaaaaa · Answer

Yeah of course. It would be hard at times but you know.. That's life.

Saoirse_Nua · Answer

I went "Other" - I believe you don't know till you are there what you would do.

Zorax · Answer

If I really like her - Yes, I would.

Krillanr · Answer

Being paralyzed makes a person no less attractive than jeans make a person fat. If I like her, I like her. Her mobility isn't relevant.

Gommers · Answer

Wanted to vote for no, but I'm not going to apologize for my decision.

Zombie_Killer_Redux · Answer

People love to say of course they would, But that would be a major decision with an insane amount of commitment and responsibility. So, I just don't know.

chrisbigman · Answer

Yeah, I believe I would. Why would I not? Yeah, the person is confined to a wheelchair. But that doesn't mean that they can't have a life.

Icyfire101 · Answer

Of course I would. I'm not attracted to what people look like, but who they are, regardless of if they're paralysed or not

Jayjax211233 · Answer

I would definitely try because I'm disabled and I would love a partner myself

ToruMatsuda · Answer

The boyfriend makes sense, but why the fuck did all her friends leave her

Yanoa_Yanza · Answer

Depends, like if I knew her before she was paralyzed, then yeah

scooogy · Answer

I thought about it once, but I couldn't stop thinking about all its aspects later

Triss · Answer

if i fall in love hell yeah

Would you date someone who was paralyzed?

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