He was drunk at the time...should I believe him?

[gigimushie]

I was at a party with a bunch of friends and one of my guy friends to whom I'm so very attracted to got pretty drunk and expressed "feelings" for me. He said he thought I was cute but that he wouldn't try anything, and he got pretty touchy.

Nothing inappropriate, he put his arm around me, hugged me a lot, and held my hand sometimes. And I let him because I didn't know what else to do. But how much should I believe him? Were these just suppressed subconscious feelings, Or was he just simply drunk and random? After the party we've gotten to talk and hang out a lot more, and it seems like we're flirting, but I'm really not sure.

I also asked his roommate at the party, who was also drunk, if my friend had a girlfriend and he said "not for you he doesn't!" What does this mean?! What do I believe and not believe? I had some people tell me that drunk people tell the truth. Is this true??

[sexwiseman]

You should know that a lot of guys use the technique of pretending to be drunk, confessing their feelings, and if you reject them, then they say...'I'm drunk, I don't know what I'm saying..." Well, have you been drunk lately, and not drunk passed out, but drunk when you remember what you did? Most of the times as you know, you pretty much know what you're saying. So most likely this guy does like you but is probably afraid to tell you how he feels sober cause he is afraid of getting rejected. The fact that his friend said, 'not for you he doesn't' only confirms the fact that the guy does like you. And yea, drunk people tell the truth cause they say things that they truly feel/know, but if they say them when they are drunk and they are laughed at, ridiculed or rejected, they can always say...'what are you talking about..i was drunk when I said that....'

Same thing for people who go out, get drunk, and then get laid. Before they get drunk, of course they want to get laid. But by getting drunk, then they have the excuse of saying, oh god, I did such and such, but I did it cause I was drunk.....

I have even read answers on this forum where guys advice others to get drunk, tell the girl they like them, and if they get rejected they can always claim they were drunk....

[fastboxster]

"Not for you he doesn't" means he has a girlfriend, but he'd be willing to dump her for you (or it's not serious), for what that's worth. While it's entirely possible he digs you a lot, it's also entirely possible he's just trying to score (the smoother he is, the more likely he is a player). If you like him, ask him to meet up for coffee. You'll be able to deduce his true motivation when your both clear headed.

[gigimushie]

Thanks for the advice. but the thing is, we already hang out together a lot. We watch movies at each other's places, go eat, talk, etc. and he always treats me well, like a friend, but..flirty? it's confusing..

[fastboxster]

A lot of people just make out when they're drinking and it means nothing to them. My point is just that if you have feelings for him, then save your "sweet" together times for when your both sober unless you're okay with "a drunken fling".

[fastboxster]

BTW, I always flirt with my female friends and they flirt back, but we are just friends. Although I must confess, if one of them had a serious crush on me, I might give it a shot cause you can always make more friends right?

[ConfusedOne]

Since I've been around many intoxicated persons, let me just say this; when somebody is intoxicated and tells you information, such as they have feelings for you, I'd tend to believe them. It's been my experience that when somebody is intoxicated, they tend to tell the truth. Alcohol turns into a truth serum and things you never thought you'd hear, come flowing out. The question however; is how much of the truth is exaggerated?

I once had a man tell me that he beat the living crap out of his girlfriend. He made it sound like she should be hospitalized. I went to her house after I took him to jail to speak with her. When she came to the door, I was shocked to see a tiny scrape and a little bruise on her arm.

Bottom line... Drunks turn molehills into mountains, so believe that what they say has some validity to it, just be careful how much you believe them and ask about what they said when they're sober.

[deanat78]

"Drunks turn molehills into mountains" - nicely said. But in this case it's safe to assume the guy really likes her, because when you're drunk you don't confess to everyone that you like them - only to the one person that you really do like.

[Hot-Alpha-Female]

Hey girl,

My advice would be to not only look at this situation but how he has been acting with you after this has happened. Like is he wanting to spend time with you more? Does he hug you more often?

I mean if he really likes you, he will show that even when he is not drunk. Until then just keep acting the same how you have always have been and trust that things will work out either way

Cheers

Hot Alpha Female =)

[Anonymous]

Drunk people do not always tell the truth. I have said things 100% un true when I was drunk things I don't even know how they entered my mind !! I think he could actually like you just ask him straight out good luck ,,xx

[Lesae]

I have done that... I drunk called an ex... bad me! He likes you. His friend meant you are the one he wants to be with, even if he does have a girlfriend...

[deanat78]

When you're drunk, you do say a lot of random stuff, but usually you just speak your heart out. When you're sober a lot of times you're afraid of saying things that you think to people. When you're drunk you're not thinking clearly or about consequences sometimes, so if you want to say something - you say it.

A lot of times people let out their true feelings for people and sometimes we let out secrets. I think it's safe to assume that he does like you, and his roommate's response backs up that fact. His roommate probably knows that he likes you, maybe he talked about you, hence his response.

You can't know how much he likes you, but it's definitely more than a little. Maybe he was drunk enough to admit he likes you but wasn't too drunk to go completely crazy and kiss you or touch you too much, because he was still coherent enough to understand that would be very bad for the future.

Bottom line - drunk people speak more honestly than when sober usually, and that guy probably likes you and doesn't have the courage to act on it when he's completely sober.

That's my thought, some people might disagree with what I think of drunk people, but that's my experience with it,

[Anonymous]

Most of the time people that are drunk become more flirty and inhibited then if they were sober and in public, so if you feel that his friend was just playing and he was really trying to be true I would ask him if he would like to hang out with you sober and in a different environment? You have to know that under the influence is not a true factor in judging someones feelings.. I think that both of you should hang out without the roomate or any other influences to make a clear headed decision if your going to be friends or bf and gf? Drunk people don't tell the truth 100% of the time, but like to elaborate and stretch the truth to there liking.. It's cool to be friends first and really get to know each other without all the distractions and party scene.. I suggest a good movie or nice inexpensive dinner, etc.. Make the gesture in a positive way and genuine way so you both then can decide and make a wise decision.. If he is any kind of cool friend he won't let you down but be upfront and be honest with you.. Go for it as life is to short to play games and wonder what if I had said this or why did I wait so long to express my self... Tell me what you think to my suggestion?

[the-cold-wind]

Drinking tends to open people up more. Hence drinking games where you ask embarrassing questions or about secrets. Chances are he does like you. How much he likes you, there's no telling. However it sounds like he would be open to dating if he's not already seeing someone. I'd just mention to him that he has said that and find out just how serious he was.

[homer]

Alcohol only strips you off of your shield, called conscience. It makes you tell things you would never otherwise, it makes you do things likewise. Would I believe him? No, I wouldn't. If he is not clear enough with his thoughts or brave enough to come to me when he is sober, then it is not worth even thinking whether he likes me or not regardless of what he says or doesn't when he is drunk.

[DeanW]

In vino veritas.

As for the roommate...the first thing it means is that he has terrible syntax. I would take it to mean that this guy might have a girl or two that he is talking to or kind of seeing, but that he has expressed a much greater interest in you to his roommate. Or the roommate's just struggling with sentence structure.

[roten27]

I have always believed that spoken words when drunk are sober thoughts that people are nervous about letting out. If you fully trust this guy as a friend when he is sober I would trust that what he said was true and heart felt by him.

[dohcrwd]

Indeed

[bigbear]

Oh so very true, It is so easy to express ourselves when we're drunk. As for his friends answer, he wants you for himself.

[babet]

I tell the truth when I'm drunk.

[dohcrwd]

Me too

[singlegirl06]

Drunk words are sober thoughts.