Do children that are bullied in school tell their parents? Do they tell a teacher? Do they tell anyone? Does bullying require threats or violence?

[KelleyNice]

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+1 y

A significant percent of replies state fighting or being willing to fight is way to prevent bullying. Most also say that either they don’t report or else, reporting doesn’t help and just make it worse. Also, I looked and can’t find the article but, on the subject of public schools, Oliver North said something to the effect that you should avoid antagonizing bullies. He also, said, schools almost never expel bullies because they lose the money they get for each and every student.

[DWornock]

Bullying can take several forms. Threats or violence is one of many types of bullying. There can be finger pointing and verbal insults. Especially if an entire class gangs up on a student. A bully might spread lies about or even reveal a truth after promising never to tell. Or there can be teasing. "Would you like to join our click for a sleepover?" then when she says "Yes," laugh at her.

Generally, most victims don't tell anyone except maybe a friend that is also bullied. There are a number of reasons. They are embarrassed because they think it is their fault and they believe they will be chasitized for allowing it. Or they believe nothing will be done and reporting just angers the bullies and makes it worse. Or perhaps they just want to be accepted and put up with bullying because maybe then they will be accepted.

[ManOnFire]

When I was a kid in public school I told both my mom and the teachers. Difference is that my mom gave a shit and was angry that somebody's kids were bothering me. The teachers always acted like it was my fault, and they especially demonized me when I fought back.

[Adaeva]

Other than verbal and very light physical, I'm not aware of any bullying. Certain I'm not bullied but I wouldn't be since I'm more like one of the leaders. Also, I attend a private school, and our school has a policy against it. Students that are bullied might drop out and go to another school and I'm sure the school doesn't want that happening. Also, unlike public school, our school has high academic standard and those standards would discourage low income and students that cannot meet the academic standards from attending our school. Likely that would be the they type of students that might be easy to bully.

Most of the verbal or light physical abuse or bullying, if the abuse rises to level, is probably not bad enough for students to report. Of course, I admit there could be bullying that I'm not aware of.

[Jessica405]

My brother was bullied mercilessly at secondary school. It went on for months. He covered it well. Eventually my mum put 2 and 2 together and sussed out what was going on.

She gave the school absolute hell, and meantime, not only moved us to a new school, but moved home to a different town.

That bullying has had a lasting impact on his life.

[KelleyNice]

Was there no other solution than moving to another school? It just doesn't seem right that the victim has to change schools and the perpetrator get to remain.

[Jessica405]

My mum was taking no chances. Turned out fine anyway. Apartment overlooking the beach.

[ShadezMcgee]

Back in my day telling an figure of authority about it only stopped it temporarily. They came back even worse than before. The only way to get them to stop was to fight them physically, usually a good punch to the face or throat did the trick.

[KelleyNice]

@Juxtapose @ShadezMcgee Just telling them is not enough. You need to them in a position where they don't dare not to stop it. You need a record and you need it writing signed by or sent by certified mail (signature required) to the teacher (s), the principal, their parents, and file a complaint will the police. And, in the documents you let them know that it they don't stop it, you want it on record that you reported so you will have a legal defense when you shoot them.

I guaranteed, they will either expel you or put a stop to it because they don't want to explain to judge why they didn't stop it; nor do they want to be sued. And, their parents would go nuts. They believe their children are little angels but they don't want you shooting their angels.

Of course hitting one on the head with an iron pipe and putting them in the hospital works too. My great-grandfather told me about one boy that hit another boy on his head with iron pipe. He didn’t go to the hospital but the word got around, “You better leave Jeff alone; he’ll hurt you.

[ShadezMcgee]

I agree telling them to stop isn't enough because it does the exact opposite, it only amplifies the bully.

That was why I said I settled it my own way by fighting them. They stopped after that. Normally it was kids who did it to me because I was small and quiet, they figured I wouldn't stand up for myself or fight back.

Unfortunately you can't fight your bully anymore because then you are the bad guy which is bullshit, but whatever. Lessons I learned from being bullied. Stand up for yourself, be willing to fight, and be ready for retaliation. I don't want to fight unless I have to, but I believe bullies truly deserve to get pounded. They want to torment someone, they better be ready for the fallout of their decisions. You wouldn't try to irritate a poisonous snake repeatedly, would you?

[KelleyNice]

@ShadezMcgee I glad that worked for you. However, you are the 1 in 20. 95% off bullied children don't have your ability. Some are mentally challenged, frail, and too afraid to do anything, and others don't have the temperament for fighting, even if they could. Are you suggesting anyone that can't do what you did, should just take it or better yet die because, if they are not like you, nothing will or should be done?

[ShadezMcgee]

What the hell @kelleynice? Where did I ever say that or insinuate they should take it or die if they can't do what I did? I said no such thing nor do I believe kids should do that. All I did was merely state my experience and base my statement from that and from other stories I heard. Bullies don't learn through talkings to.

[KelleyNice]

@ShadezMcgee Absolutely, I agree bullies or their parents must pay a price or they will never stop.
The following is a solution I found at:
choices.scholastic.com/.../...ies-be-expelled.html

Feeling safe at school is important, and bullying completely destroys that sense of safety. That’s why I support automatic expulsion for bullies. It may seem harsh, but so are the effects of bullying. Targets face a huge amount of stress, which can lead to depression, and they can suffer academically too. In fact, some might even avoid coming to school. It’s time to end their suffering by removing the problem: the student or students who are not respecting the rules of the school community.

Why do I feel so strongly? I’ve seen expulsion work. At my high school, there is a strict policy on bullying and violence. It’s simple: Anyone found guilty of bullying is expelled. But this policy comes with a twist. Students who are expelled are sent to an alternative learning center called the Renaissance School, which serves all students—not just bullies—who have acted out in some way.

[lightbulb27]

I did not as it would do no good back then. they should if they have supportive parents. in hindsight, would like to have at least talked about it so I could grow. some of the bullying was within family.

you gotta learnt to survive amoungs $!#1231!@#@# including immature family, friends, community. Getting a better world view of humanity helps a lot. #JesusofNazareth for me.

[TallAnon]

Younger children will likely tell their parents as long as they live in a normal household. Obviously they'll be less likely to tell their parents when they are hit or told to shut up often. As people grow older, there's a sense of responsibility for one's own actions which makes a child think it's their fault for being bullied and they may not want to display this towards their parents.

[TallAnon]

Regarding fighting, as someone who practiced martial arts while in school; The more you learn, the less you have to use it. Learning martial arts gives confidence, this stops bullying entirely.

[KelleyNice]

Obviously, No one, including bullies want to fight someone with a black belt in karate or an amateur boxing champion. Bullies don't want get hurt so they pick on the weak.

[TallAnon]

Realistically a kid isn't getting a black belt and he/she won't even have to show how good he is/isn't. Having the confidence is all that's needed.

[Pinay_ako]

I fight back. I gotta stand up for myself. I am a lone child. I also tell my parents back then when I already took care of the problem. Nobody really tried with me coz I speak my mind straight up even now as an adult! But if someone bullies my child, I’d wanna know from the start so I can let the school and authorities know what’s up before it gets worse! They better listen to me and they will! And if my child is the bully, I’d wanna know so I can whoop their ass! My mom did 😂!

[sw1916]

Where I grew up, you don’t snitch. You handle it like a man. However I was never the type to bullied. I’d tell them to meet me after class. But some people are not strong enough to face bullies.

[KelleyNice]

A snitch is worse than a son-of-a-bitch.
However, at times, it may be appropriate.

[sw1916]

It’s never appropriate for a man. You square up and handle things. Win or lose you gain ur respect.

[KelleyNice]

That would be stupid unless you are near equal size and ability. You couldn't fight a Mike Tyson or a 5 star linebacker. You couldn't hit him; he too quick and fast and when he hit you, it would break bones and give you a concussion, or worse.

[sw1916]

We are talking about school. And also size has nothing to do with fighting skill.

[KelleyNice]

I'm done with you.

[sw1916]

Done with me? Ok…

[Exterminatore]

I’d never say meet me after class. If someone said that stupid crap to me I’d reply: “it’s cold outside, how about I kick your ass right here instead” then I’d immediately commence to throwing punches.

@kelly

He’s right. Men are not taught to be stool pigeons.

[sw1916]

@Exterminatore at my school our fights usually took place in an empty class room or the bathroom.

[Exterminatore]

Bathroom was a great place. Nowhere for the little bullies to run and hide. No room to maneuver.

Then you can give them a swirly when your done.

[sw1916]

Deep down bully’s were just loud pussies. That’s all.

[Exterminatore]

Yup. I love embarrassing loud mouths.

As is customary I’d always make sure to tell everyone I could how I kicked the crap out of whichever bully. I’d tell everyone they punch like a little faggot.

Want to try to turn the class room into a stage to try to make an ass out of me and bully me? Great!!! I’ll turn the classroom into a boxing ring and shut that mouth permanently, and make sure I tell everyone what a little puss they are.

You do that 2 or 3 times and bust their face up real good and no one will bother you for the rest of HS. Black eyes and bloody noses speak volumes.

[maximumpower]

In my experience, the only ones who will do much about bullying are parents.
Unfortunately - despite claims and lip service - the majority of schools and teachers will step in only when its 100% provable and they have something to lose/are part of the problem.

[RagnarRedbeard]

Whenever anybody tried to bully me I’d just punch them right in the grabber.

[KelleyNice]

@RagnarRedbeard Most people that are bullied, are not brave and physically tough like you. Usually they are mentally or emotionally challenged, frail, very afraid, and don't have the temperament to fight. Do you have any suggestion on what can be done for them?

[RagnarRedbeard]

I wasn’t brave or physically tough either at first. You toughen up and gain the courage to defend yourself just by doing it. And I’d say to them that it’s important to develop that assertiveness, because you’ll always have to deal with pricks even as an adult.

I definitely think that the way kids are taught today sets them up to be victims forever.

[Cubus]

I think they do not tell, because they are ashamed

[KelleyNice]

Often that is probably true or else, they want to fit in, like in the Glen Ridge rape the victim still wanted the athletes to like her and that she did not want to get them in trouble.

[Lyndsielee666]

I never told my aunt and uncle but my daughter told me about a boy buying her and it didn’t end well Lmfao

[exitseven]

I never told my parents and I sure as hell never told a teacher. It would only make things worse.

[Guy13]

Bullying is a by-product of violence on TV and in every other Media communication means... Lost of high moral standing has exacerbated bullies... bullies are cool in movies, tv, youtube, etc...

[KelleyNice]

I believe bullying occurred long before movies were invented.

[Guy13]

Do not misunderstand me... some bullying is necessary. I got bullied and am thankful for it. Bullying is sensationalized by an uber-safety culture that expects Safety perfection. Today, you have elements that my Dad did not have and they are excessively wicked and people like to emulate Media as it taps into their basic nature.
Bullying will never go away. You can not legislate, punish, improve it out with education, or imprison it out... Fallen people behave in a fallen way. It is a waste of energy to consider it any longer. I'm done with it :-)

[TallAnon]

You'd be correct, bullying has been around for 1000s of years

[Juxtapose]

Telling teachers doesn't do shit. I wish my parents told me to simply beat the shit out of my bullies with a baseball bat.

[Sparkie460]

Most kids don't but they should. Schools should be bully free zones. If you're being bullied or you know someone who is, tell someone.

[exitseven]

I worked in a K-12 school system for a while. There was a kid in high school that was bullied and he complained to the teachers and principal but nobody did anything. It got bad so he went to the cops and swore out a complaint and got the bully arrested for assault which it was. The cop came to school and picked the kid up and brought him to the police station and his parents were called. They had to get a lawyer and take time off from work to go to court. I don't know if things got any better for this kid but I thought it was a good solution.

[Sparkie460]

Good. I'm glad the kids went to the police. I bet he didn't bully anyone after that

[jshm2]

Having been on both sides, it's rarely a simple matter.

In child bullying, it's usually a presence thing. Small kids will be bullied by larger kids. It's a fact of life.

[Exterminatore]

Usually they don’t tell anyone and the best way to stop bullying is to kick a little ass.

[Pterodon]

They don’t tell anyone and yes it can make a young one snap

[Anonymous]

they never stop til you kick 'em in the nuts

[Exterminatore]

Yup.

[Opinion Owner]

surprised my answer is so popular on this. 🤣

[Exterminatore]

It’s the cold hard truth sir.

[anylolone]

They usually tell everyone.

[MikeInHawaii]

Some grow up to be school shooters.

[msc545]

Some also grow up to be school teachers, unfortunately. Usually PE teachers.

[MikeInHawaii]

@msc545 I figure they were the jocks, and the bullies, rather than the bullied.

[msc545]

yes!

[Anonymous]

I never did.

[Chadgiga8384]

I was silent.

[EaterPeter]

Depends.