Have you ever been in a relationship where the gender "roles" are reversed?

[Anonymous]

I don't mean to offend anyone, by gender role I mean "roles" that society assigns and stereotypes. Like for example in my relationship, everyone says my boyfriend acts like a "girl", he likes to express his emotions, is sweet and sensitive. He is more comfortable when I take the lead. Naturally I tend to make decisions more, am more logical and I made the first move, etc. So I mean traditionally male or female roles. Obviously I'm a woman and he's a man and in all other regards he sticks to the male stereotypes: he loves football and tends to ignore my nagging when its on :-). I am very girlie when it comes to certain things, like shopping but I'm also very driven and aggressive and a bit of a tomboy and I most definitely wear "the pants" (yes I'm always on top and take out the trash lol) My boyfriend and I are very happy with our set up, so I'm just curious if there are other couples like that too, where the relationship dynamic is different? If you haven't would you try it?

Oh and also I'm not sure if people will misinterpret that example, so just to be clear everythings split 50/50, neither of us do more or less than the other, we just have nontraditional roles.

No, Never been in one, wouldn't want to either.

Yes, I tried it and liked it.

No, but I'd be open to it.

Yes but I didn't like it and wouldn't do it again.

[Amelia_Rosewood]

Yes & No. It depends on the dynamics of my relationships really, which are extremly rare. Perhaps the most showed in this when I was with my exgirlfriend the only girl I ever tried to have a relationship with, I am into guys like most girls. Even though I have complete hatred, bitterness & disdain towards them due to a lot of inequality and a lot of abuse.
My mum raised my sister & I with gender roles reversed, yet she was 'so surprised' when I came out & began transitioning.
I was raised under domestic roles, my sister on the other hand was expected more masculine roles like mowing the lawn etc, not that I did not do that on occasion, cause like most men you can nag them ntil the cows come home, or you can just do the deed and take on more responsibilities so the job actually gets done & properly at that... yes I am more meticulous.
She would be outside playing sports, hanging out with her mixed engendered friends; you know boys and girls, though she did prefer to hang out with boys... I can never understand it but whatever, it be hypocritical of me to insult that decision as I only have female friends, all cisgender by the way, I have absolutelly no male friends as I do not mix with them right, their ways are completely different, tastes different etc plus I am scared and as I mentioned prior have a serious opposition in opinion towards men & well toxic-masculinity in general.
I was essentually well a cinderella without permission to have the glam not that I did not get it out of my system when I was alone long enough to be safe, my sister didn't mind she raided my closet far more then I could raid hers. If I had it my way I would have switched everything with her other then well those masculine characteristics, ya its complicated af, but whatever at least I am being truthful in how I am feelings & my perceptions on the issue.
She would throw a ball (completely no skill myself for such silly things) break a window, spill a drink, dirty room I was expected to clean it up, she wanted refreshments, a snack, dinner came around etc I was expected to comply.
She knew how to protect herself, she loved violence etc, whereas even to this day I have broken my thumb more then once cause apparantly thats not how you make a fist & that only happened when I had some chauvenistic or bigotted prick physically sexually harassing me, only thing that seems to have ever truly worked for me was the all so famous knee to the groin.
My sister was permitted late nights, free curfew, could wander anywhere local without permission, poor grades etc where I had serious restrictions that were completely hypocritical. Course given some incidents that happened I learned my lesson about going out at night unescorted when I sorta rebelled or had a run to the store emergency, even stopped by coppers and strange men being ike 'a young lady shouldn't be out alone at night, where are your parents' last time that happened I was bloody well 28 years old. Ya everyone thankfully saw my inside, except a few... those ones I swear to all if I had it my way they would be tricked into having chastity devices locked on while they slept.
She always acted like she was sooooo hard done by, if only she understood how easy she really did have it. I will never understand why the 'son' of the family which I swear she was in my opinion get treated like royaty while the 'daughter' I am has always been expected to happily submit to being an all around maid.
(con't in reply)

[Amelia_Rosewood]

She ran away from home and lived in a group home for troubled teens when she was 13; got preggers at 14 or 15 with twins from a 25 year old foreign man lost them at month 4 or 5; found her still goig on babydady had another pregnancy at 16 lost that one, in 2010 had my nephew (whom she lost twice to FNCS due to domestic abuse which she was the abuser) & a couple years ago my niece (whom I have nt been permitted to meet, let alone any information of her name.. ya she is the well pain) Literally admitted to me she only had the kids so she could keep the babydaddy... well they are not together and when they were he fooled around a lot (like almost every guy in the world).
She to this day is a single mother, with absolutelly no idea how to maintain the domestic duties, even childrearing which I was also taught. She used to call me up for advice, information etc when we where on speaking terms, now she relies on mum. I know it may make me sound like a complete and utter b****, but I do tend to laugh off her misfortune and lack of skills... Little miss prince, reduced to a commoner. I do know as you can expect she does wear the pants in every relationship she is in... she even tries to be the dominant alpha in her friendships always trying to outdue her boy-friends.
My family was like that & I think it has a lot to do with my hypocritical mum. She used to be sorta a stepford type wife and mother. Enforced by law due to domestic abuse to be separated. She got on the bottle. Then after getting involved with my stepdad, sorta 'switch'ed up and in other ways was the alpha in the relationship. Even taking common male positions in career, always working in factories and twice fast-food. I have seen her without any assitance more then once carry large appliances like washer-dryer on her own up and down the stairs whenever new or moved. She was seriously strong and could out drink any man I ever met.
(con't in continued reply)

[Amelia_Rosewood]

Myself lot of it is medical reasons am extremly physically frial, I am technically not supposed to lift anything above 27-30LBS... but when taking care f an infant or toddler that goes out the window at least until they hit 45-50LBS, then I have to figure out how to manage that, usually having to put up boundaries on that unfortunitelly. Everyone I know is Physically stronger then I am, not that I mind but it does get annoying at times when I have to rely on the unreliable (male roled) for assitance, even though they tend to love it. I even get tipsy on half a glass of wine or even once a few sips of my dakorie... yes I haye beer and strong liquers.
I do not mind being submissive most of the time, but there are times where I do need to get frustration out and funny as it sounds I almost always seem to get dominant men that do not mind even crave to be occasionally undergo rounds of intense emasculation.
I am not proud of it, in fact I find myself to be a complete and utter heartless b****, even though I get off on it & part of me feels proud of it, like I am overcoming my daemons if that makes any sense.
(con't in reply)

[Amelia_Rosewood]

My greatest but also unfortunate relationship I had where it was a mix of horrible & proud. The exgirlfriend; we stayed friends after her I call 'escapades' with other people that I found out about. She was very abusive but I stayed with her for awhile. She literally treated me like a slave and had me punished in the worst way by... unwilling contact in unwilling most deparavable ways, because I refused and still refuse any sexual contact; due to my history. At first I did not mind running around and taking care of everything, but once she began using that as a force of humiliation with her 'friendly' (lmao at that one) spectators, I began to get well a bit obstinate & defensive (verbally of course). It did get physical many times, usually it was always over one main thing. Which is the same thing that I have never been able to keep a relationship because of... my rules against sexual contact. That ticked her off, because frm the start of meeting her she swore literally swore almost word for word that she was gonna 'turn you lez', I had no proplem with the sexuality. But it wasn't me, though to shut her up I gave in for experimentation.. but sex was always off the table, the only physical act of romance I permitted (I was still in therapy for sexual abuse) was cuddling, she did not mind, r said not, though always wanted more. I did have to stop her hand more then once when I was in bliss and felt her hand reaching up lifting the hem of my skirt. That cost her after I had a good cry, to give her the silent treatment for abit, usually a couple days.
(con't in reply)

[Amelia_Rosewood]

I did have another ex, before her however... he was great except he too was a philanderer. We were engaged, and had an almost 50/50 relationship... even got engaged for about 8 monthes. I am still in love with him, but cannot forgive him for fooling around so I called it off & cut off all contact. It broke my heart. We were so perfect or so I thought. He was understanding that I did not want to take his last name dispite many arguments over that mostly from him... it just did not have a good flow to the rest of my nam, I know silly & vain but... I agreed to hyphen it, he laughed it off and called me crazy. Compromised with deciding upon marriage to take on a completely different last name. Even though daddy was pretty upset over that, dispite how I was & unfortunitelly he was unaware that I am completely infertile... but he still desired ME to pass on the family name (rolleyes).
There were a few others... I dunno maybe less then 5 relationships now, be ingle since the her.
All in all I do not mind, in fact it is 'my normal' to take on the feminine roll in the relationship, every relationship. I get wierded out well more annoyed when my 'duties' are invaded. I have a rule about if I am working in the kitchen do NOT come in, or else. Well I have used the broom more then once to demonstrate that bit of authority.
Almost always, even my mum when I was I think 16 explained more of my role. My submissive duty in the bedroom.. but that there is also a dominate position within that submission (sorry guys I am NOT giving up that secret that every girl knows). It is however the only thing really that makes me disobediant, not that it mattered much... if guys want it they take it regardless... or at least in my experience unfortunitelly.
(con't in reply)

[Amelia_Rosewood]

There are a lot of people I know like this, though in my situation even though makes sense by character meeting gender role through this transition. I have known many girls whom wear the pants in the relationship in fact if i go by experienced statistics through my girlfriends I would deffinitelly say that at the very least 60% off all masculine-feminine relationships she wears the trousers.
All is well & good the modern woman is truly superior to the modern man, even though egotistical males will object to that out of the male-ego.
Personally I prefer the traditional feminine role not only in relationship but life in general... however when taken for granted and or abused it makes me dread seriously with great resentment towards that alpha in our relationship. Though; I do know my submissive girlfriends, and some dominant ones feel the same way so know that perception is not unwarrented let alone indifferent towards identical ideology.
My answer/argument let it be known is on the female perspective that I hold. However I am going to stipulate that I am also opening up to the fact that it is through gender-reversal or at least in societal ideals, is switched up.
There is nothing wrong with taking up whichever gender role you choose. Honestly at least in this day in age its all mixed, halfed etc for most couples & families.
I do hope your relationship blossoms well. Your boyfriend sounds like a sweetheart truth be told. The two of you sound like a very adorable couple & I truly envy your relationship/life.
Just continue being yourself, do not care about societal BS. It is all nonsense anyways its a known fact that governmental heads, male ones tend to be submissive under closed doors in their relationships even hiring escorts to dominate them into domestics.
(con't in reply)

[Amelia_Rosewood]

I am happy with my life, well mostly physical issues aside that is, and the abuse.
But if your in a loving relationship, without taking eachother for granted and repect eachother, dispite oppositions then honestly that is a perfect relationship.
Every couple has their issues with eachother, its finding that common ground, compromise & sensitivelly sympathise with eachothers side enough to work it out.
I do think your relationship will work out, if it doesn't thats too bad. But I do hope you never give up being who you are just to let your partner/significant-other try to change you.
Take charge like the dominant woman you are and if guy's d not like it well tell them to man-up about it or there's the door.
Be proud of your strength, it takes a lot to be you... living outside 'natural expectations'. You are breaking the chains that once would have bound you & exploring the world as you should be
You truly are utterly and truthfully amazing

[FireyandTattoed]

I'm in one now. The best way I can explain is that more boyfriend was never taught how to handle himself as an adult and was babied by his mother. I am the breadwinner, the head of the household, I manage all of the finances and bills. Which is COMPLETELY fine with me because I am pretty unwilling to bend when it comes to those types of things, so a "traditional" man probably wouldn't have worked out. He works part time and I work full time, so he stays home more and cleans the house and feeds the cat and whatnot. He can't cook to save his life so I still do that. I noticed the comments about sex, and they made me laugh. My boyfriend is the same way, he is VERY affectionate and I'm the opposite. I don't really enjoy physical affection. Don't get me wrong- I like to kiss him and have sex with him, but he always wants it to be some lovey-dovey thing when I just want a peck and a roll then to go to sleep. All in all, this can be a really rewarding type of relationship- IF you're built for it, and IF your partner is willing to hold up his end. There is a fine line between role reversal and laziness.

[id0ntund3rstnd]

i had it happen to me. I dated this one guy and he seemed more girlie than me which I didn't like. he was even more emotional than me. like I like to be depended on, but I would like to have a guy I can depend on to not only comfort me but also defend and protect me.

[Mesonfielde]

just buy pepper spray then

[Anonymous]

I'm in an even more extreme one now and it is the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm asking her to marry me on sunday. She is a total man, she is all hard on the outside and soft in the middle. She's competitive and loves sports. She will not express emotions at all, she never nags and gets annoyed when I do. She is very practical and even approaches her more feminine hobbies (like fasion) with a stanch practicality. She has a massive sex drive and even though she is ussually on the bottom she is always the dominant party (not in a kinky way). She is not into foreplay, and is generally restricted when it comes to physical affection. She makes me feel safe and I make her feel protective. I am the complete opposite, I'm soft on the outside and strong on the inside. Im emotional, silly, and submissive. I have a low sex drive, I nag, I cry, I'm a drama queen, I'm affectionate ect.
It was initially very scary being in this relationship beacuse I had always fought this in myself but she is so masculine that couldn't fight it anymore. Now I feel liberated and content. I am basically a girl (not in a transgender way I like having a realitiely masculine apperance) and I can admit that and feel comfortable for the first time in my life. However she revealed to me that she is always the more masculine in her relationships and that this frustrates her. She wants to be the more feminine sometimes. I think she is confused, she always instinctively reacts badly to me taking the lead when I try. I think societal gender roles have created a conflict between what she thinks she wants and what she needs. Im still trying to give her what she says she wants but I'm having no success. It's okay, it's a minor issue for her but I want to make her completely happy like how she makes me feel. But I'm worried about disturbing our perfect balance. We don't even fight and I think it's beacuse we are opposite equals. I am the same parts feminine as she is masculine.

[native65]

I am in one now! But the twist in mine is some what different. It comes down to affection. I love to show affection. I'm not needy nor do I want to make out in public. But when I come home (we shacked up together) I like to give her a nice kiss, hold her and ask her about her day, and talk about mine.. to me that's normal sh*t... she does it because she feels she has to.. if it was up to her, we wouldn't touch unless we are going to have sex, then it's all out sex, at times if feels like we are making love... Then when we are done, she likes to talk a little about whatever and then goes to sleep, I want to keep holding each other and maybe go at for a second turn or something... That's when I feel like I'm the chick and she's dude who just blew his load and all she wants is to be left alone... It's f***ing weird!

[Asker]

You sound just like my boyfriend! He says the exact same thing after we're done. He's big affection and foreplay and I'm kinda like "Let's get to the main event" and afterward "thanks...that was nice! 'night" lol I guess it all depends.

[native65]

LMFAO! your name wouldn't be Evelyn?

[Asker]

Nope! I guess there's just a little bit of "Evelyn" in us all or just a lot of girls with a bit too much testerone.

[native65]

LOL... Yeah I guess so. She is something else! But she is my Evelyn, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. She has a big heart but likes to hide it. Tough little sh*t! ;)

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I'm kinda in one now. I'm sort of the stay at home guy with the part time job, cleaning up the place, cooking dinner. It didn't start this way, it just sorta drifted there. In the beginning, I made all the money, and kept myself busy. I always was open about my feelings though, and currently we both split the rent, and bills. Still, it kinda fades in and out, from one side to the other. We've been together for a while now, and it's good that we don't need things to be defined by any particular gender roles like a rigid structure. We just do our parts, where we can. It's worked out pretty well so far.

[Asker]

That's a really good way to be, flexibility is key in any great relationship. You're way ahead of the curve with that one.!

[JesseMichaels]

I am in one now. I took my wife’s last name. She has a damn good job so I am the “housewife.” She’s even the dominant one in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't support patriarchy and a social construct called "gender roles".

I prefer dominant girls.

[Anonymous]

really, you have no problem with taking on a non-traditional role?

[Asker]

No! I don't have the traditional female personality so why would I want a traditional female role or vice versa. I don't think my boyfriend would be happy any other way either. But to each their own.

[Opinion Owner]

so you don't expect your guy to be dominant, lead all the time?

[Asker]

No, I'd probably get annoyed and we'd clash a lot. I like making most decisions so I like taking the lead.

[Opinion Owner]

the way I see it, I hate and I don't see why there should be a power clash, power struggle in dating and relationships

[Asker]

I don't think they're should be either, there's one dominant person and one who doesn't mind not following the other one's lead. But the more dominant one should respect the other one's feelings and shouldn't take advantage of the other one otherwise its unhealthy.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah I hate stereotypical gender roles with a huge passion

[SteelMagnum]

No thank you. I'll keep my balls.

[Mesonfielde]

lol male entitlement, don't wanna clean the house, eh?

[Anonymous]

No