How can you tell if someone is just being polite or if they REALLY want to talk to you?

[Anonymous]

There is this guy I REALLY like, but i am not good at talking to him cause I get nervous- I feel like a five ear old then I get mad at him cause I like him so much & its making me an idiot.Ha,ha.

He tries to talk to me, but I feel like maybe he sees how much I like him & is trying to be nice.. But sometimes he looks uncomfortable, sometime his face lights up & sometimes he looks mad.

I like that he does not always talk to me perfectly - makes me feel more normal- but... It makes it harder sometimes.. Also he is REALLY smart {& he knows it ! :-)} So I keep expecting him to just be able to talk to me with no problem - especially if it is JUST to be polite... Tho, I guess sometimes 'smart' does not do much for intuition. :-)

So, I want to figure if he is just trying to be nice or maybe I am making him feel uncomfortable. Sometimes he really looks bright - just to talk to me, but maybe it's a 'ego thing'. I don't have an explanation for him getting mad at me fro time to time- I'd say like every tired or seventh interaction he is annoyed... I think I usually leave it to him to say hi, cause I am just procrastinating, trying to thin of what to say or how NOT to say it...

I wonder if he resents having to talk to me - I mean maybe he feels obligated to talk to me , there fore gets mad at me. Wish he would just not talk to me if that was the case. I do not want to guess, & I would never ask him about that, cause he would think I was crazy, especially if he is not even stressing over a of this.

Everyone thinks he is nuts for not just being crazy about me, but I think I could see how he could at least 'think' he has problems with me... IDK.

Ho can I figure this out?

I do have a lot of other options - not that I am interested right now, but maybe in the future- but I cannot even think about anyone else.. I don't want anyone else, at ALL... , of course my passions are pretty rational.. If I knew that he did not like me, if I knew he was just trying to be nice, I would have no problem walking on.

[ArtistBboy]

Haha, I know exactly what you mean. I have been dumbfounded about S.A.L. for a while now. It's interesting to see how someone like myself can utterly stutter about the situation at hand.

- The only reasonable explanation is that with men and women- we have different expectations.

Men date fast and look for the outcome as soon as possible.

Women date slow and want to protect themselves while growing a bond with this person.

- Basically, men are task-oriented; while women are relationship-oriented.

The reason he is becoming annoyed with you, is the same as why you are becoming "mad" with him. It's that you are expecting something to happen, so you know where you both stand. I've done that in the past- and quite frankly... It's cute as long as it's not an "extreme".

[ So, I want to figure if he is... uncomfortable. ]

- It's that you both are uncomfortable. Take a look at yourself and see how you are reacting:

"I get mad at him cause I like him so much & its making me an idiot.Ha,ha."

- You're getting "mad" because you like him. BAM! This is proof of my theory that he is doing the same thing. People always act strange when they expect something from the person they care about.

Just relax and have fun ^_^ You'll see in time that he is just being himself.

~ ArtistBBoy

[Asker]

Ok. but I get 'mad' cause he is being impossible to talk to but I don't show it. - I do pay attention to how I act but it is true I can not see how I look , & I will sooner be detached the overly involved - just because if I were on the reverse I would think better of some one who was a little distant rather the too pushy.. Just about respecting yourself & others boundaries & not being presumptuous... bUt still, I make an effort not to look annoyed.. Why would he not mind APPEARING irritated?

[Asker]

What is S.A.L. Anyways?

Also, I am usually VERY easy going & easy to talk to & have lots of friends & everyone likes me, & " I am the queen of the universe" & - Joke :-). But really I do rather well with others & I have NEVER had such problem talking to anyone, not even when I was a child. With soe dumb heart pounding crush.. & I just ahte that iget mad at him without evn sayinganythig. I's liek I am eitehr totally speachless & feel in awe of him.. Or I will narrow my eyes {Inside not out}

[Asker]

& find him trifling & care not too much for talking to him.. BUt I will talk to him anyways, because I know at some point I will care very much what he thinks of me.... BUT I think I already do, so it is annoying to me, tat he will talk to me lots when I do not feel like it but when I do he is not worried bout being weird,when I make an effort to be polite. Except I am asking if he is trying to be polite - this is weird after all. lol.

Bugs me - He is so mercurial.& Yes, I am a hypocrite :)

[ArtistBboy]

SAL - She's-a-Lady (A member of this community).

(Why would he not mind APPEARING irritated?) - Because he doesn't care, lol... Guys rarely care what their appearance would be.

He is being himself / Polite / Confusing / Mysterious / etc- Everything that he is.

So what has got you confused- is him doing "push / pull" - where he likes you and wants to get your interest, but he is waiting until you fight for that interest until he gives you some.

Trust me, keep talking to him ;D He's real.

[Asker]

Guys do not care how they appear? I do not usually look at things from a'girl - guy' perspective - I know this site , right? I am a still interested in understanding people.-

BUt this particular stereotype may just may just happen to slide thru the prejudice radar.. I have to admit that I do not notice it o my guy friends cause I don't care if they look /or get irritated. But I notice it on him cause I take everything he does personally... He will be the last to know but, it's true...

[Asker]

So, you REALLY think guys do not care how they at? That thought had really never occurred to me, & I find it very fascinating actually a little helpful.. I mean I never actually considered it. He acts all bothered, with little provocation, or really focused 7 polite & extra interested.. Well guys may not mind mind appearing like jerks every once in while, but he obviously thinks about how he appears- he is extremely erratic & & I do not think it is always innocent. :)

[ArtistBboy]

I can't overgeneralize and say ALL guys- but the average of men do not mind. You see, men care about their physical appearance (they don't want to look like bums) but they aren't as intune with how their personality comes across, which is why some men look "needy" or "obsessive" / while other men look like "players" or "jerks".

Why try and portray anything other than the truth? Some men will put on fake fronts- but it will get them no where. Eventually they will realise that and be themselves

[ArtistBboy]

So it's not that they "don't care" in a literal translation- it's that "how they appear to others, doesn't affect who they are internally". We take very little emotional toll from what others perceive from our personality after we have built a strong backbone. We are ourselves and nothing more- nothing less.

This guy is interested because he is able to show who he really is- and not some corny pickup line or trying to get laid. He shows you his true emotions.

[ArtistBboy]

So.... Don't take it personal- take it as a compliment and as an intrigueing "competition" to understand his true values and morals. Attracting people isn't supposed to be frustrating or annoying- it's supposed to be fun. So be a good sport and follow through- you obviously care about him which is shown in your attention to detail.

^_^ Anything else I can help with? =P

[Asker]

Well, that was perceptive of you - I mean yah, the whole being real & not being annoying & fake, {tho his absence of 'pickup ' I think, is his 'pick- up' - if that makes sense - but it works....}

Yes, you can say it is fun but it gets annoying at a point because he will pay me too much attention when I don't want it- I.e. I am busy , not focused on the convo , so I sound disinterested or some thing else. BUt he'll ignore me - not ofte but at times when I am able to talk & sound more like ME.

[Asker]

He may be good - very good at being himself - maybe a little to good. But I think he also ignores me on purpose , sometimes... Well, I guess some times he just does not want to talk. I always want to talk, but I do not always talk because I don't always feel like it, so he could react to that as well.

So, yes I like that most of the junk about how to pick up girls - even fro the more normal dvice sources- never come pout of his outh.. But I think he gets irritated - & really I guess I would

[ArtistBboy]

Well for instance in my situation and in past experiences- guys are risk takers, so naturally we will strike up the conversations and pursue you; however, if we write you something and you respond with a "distant" (for lack of a better word) comment, then we will assume we have made a fool of ourselves.

We don't commonly understand you are truly busy- we immediately think "whoa, she is being distant..." and then we wait for you to strike a conversation- let's face the music- it rarely happens

[Asker]

Not want him to hide if he is irritated - that could be a mess - but I want to know if it actually has to do with me. He does it more then I have ever noticed anyone to - actually I can not remember the last time anyone acted that way around me.. Well, he is uncomfortable - I've had that sometimes, not too much. ' Really happy to see me - I get that a lot.' 'Spontaneously & seemingly inappropriately MAD - NEVER get that...... Well maybe from my brother when I was like 5.' :-)

{?}

[Asker]

BTW. what was the thing you mentioned about expectations.. I mean you said we get mad at each other, cause people always act strange around people when they expect something from them?

What do I expect fro him, & what does he he expect from me.. Or people in a similar situation.

Course you don't actually know our situation / history .. So, you could jut tell me what you meant by expect something form them, & why would that make them - me / him , mad, or strange, if you will...?

[ArtistBboy]

You're expecting communication (or an alternative method of understanding what he feels or why he is doing something). This makes you disturbed (<-- haha that's a good band) because he isn't communicating his intentions which seem rather flip floppy- one second he wants to talk and the next he is acting distant.

Him being "flip floppy" is making you irritated (From my perspective) because it's an unknown certainty of how he feels for you. He is acting interested but "not"... Ya know?

[Asker]

Ok. Yes, I understand that, but then what his his problem lol. ?

If he's busy I try not to take tat personally, if I am busy he will sometime just sit with me - at school - but some times he will just stare, fine. But why would he get mad? It is not so much him being wishy washy as , the extreme sates of wishy wishy. he acts likes he likes me, in spite of him self, but when he is irritated it looks quite deliberate.

The expected communication thing - I get.

The distance thing - I get.

I -

[Asker]

- don't get the anger in between... this is why I question weather he is just trying to be nice when he talks to me - sometimes.... Surely, if I disturb him so much it must be a trial talking to me.. IDK.. I cannot imagine just being bothered by someone that you like, for no reason - then ACTING like it.

[ArtistBboy]

Him being irritated / mad- could be for many different reasons. usually for the same reason I am telling you about (that he feels you are being wishy-washy in correspondance to him being wishy-washy).

You see- some days you are free and willing to respond, but other days you are busy... "if I am busy..." So when you are truthfully busy- he is getting the feeling that you are annoyed with him, which makes him become irritated at the fact that he likes you and is not having those feelings back.

[Asker]

Ok. But, he will act annoyed when I talk to him - If I don't talk to him, he just look sort of lost or hurt- provide he WANTS to talk to me, if he doesn't he will just look at me then away. & We won't talk.. But it's if I TALK to him, sometimes, nto ALL the time, he will look annoyed.. When I pass him by sometimes, he will look annoyed before I talk, so I don't bother..

- HOw could he be annoyed when I am inconsistent in response ot HIS inconsistency - can he not realize how erratic he is?

[ArtistBboy]

Often times, yeah- you're right! Infact, I didn't realise it until my previous "other half" pointed it out to me. If you ask him what has been on his mind- often times the answer is "nothing" but if you dig deeper, you will find that there is something bothering him in conjunction with you. My guess is that you are busy, which has already been described here

[Asker]

Lol. But if he is botherd that iam BUSY then why oulhcget mad when I try to talk to him.? My friedns said, if I don't talk to him, when he tries, then he will be annoyed if I try after, when he is not expecting it? IDK. but I think if he - or anyone- is annoyed enough to make a public show of it, then they should be annoyed enough to discuss it.

- Why DO people say girls are complicated - at least they talk....

-Probably started with a guy who just got dumped.- or turned down for sex ^^

[ArtistBboy]

LOL!!! Too true- read this and it'll help you understand things (ironically it comes from a question on this site)... It's written by BobAIR but will help you understand this further.

https://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/blog/men-who-are-angry-about-women-and-dating/

[Asker]

Ok. I'll search it.. BTW. Was the 'too true ' for the whole thing or just the last bit?

Do you think people just get annoyed from lack of predictability?

I mean, I ma assuming he lknws I lie him, tho I have not told him, but I used to & he kknew it at one point , & I'm not really a 'i like you' kind of person.. I think 'like' just happens & anyone wrth it & connected enogh will undersatnd I mean REALLY if you want to know - you focus,at the right times, not just when convenient.. &' FEEL it'

[ArtistBboy]

Your last two comments are dead accurate, and that's why your frustrated that men don't "Feel" the attraction forming. So the "lol too true" was at your entire range of statements as of recently.

[Asker]

Ha, ha! I jus read that site the other dsy.. I liked it more then anythinelse, but it still annoyed me.. theris so much emphasis put on how impossile girl arei general, & I really think gys arehaderto understand becasue tey do not speak.. As everyone keeps saying , they do talk to express themselves, so then why care about the rest of the world expressing itself, invariably leaving them clueless. ..I happen to think it is more cultural {Stereo-}then physiological , however - & good on that!

[Asker]

Anyways, that was too funny. {Giving me the site that I just read} I am going to read more about the site , as it has one of our own ^^. I usually like that guys advice, at least it is usually long - I love long answers { even when they are bad.. YOu get more words, for your 'key pressing' button pressing. BUt also he is usually quite interested I what he is saying , even if I do not agree, & I often agree.

Thanks!

[Asker]

Oh boy.. one more thing- I just saw our response to my question.. " YOu are frustrated because, " They do not feel the attraction forming" " Meaning they do not feel it THEMSELVES, or they just don't feel that you are attracted to THEM, or they do not recognize it,for the the two of you?

& Do you mean they felt it, but can not recognize & or express it, or just that it doe not affect them? Like literally /not feel it,; or just not o all sides.

Ok - Done.:-)

[ArtistBboy]

"they felt it, but can not recognize & or express it" <-- exactly

Also.. You'd like this site too:

https://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com/

[Asker]

As a person that may have at some point in the past fallen victim to have a feeling that you could not fee or express.. How do you think you felt it - ultimately? I mean how wold feeling of lets say , ROMANTIC LOVE manifest in a unknowing subject?

Hmm. I usaully do not like to play te gender card.. But in matters of intuition - more becasueof exposre then nuter- womanmay be a little more open - ifnot better adept - to understanding feelings - I mean feeling them where they should be felt.-

[Asker]

Probably why the emotionally 'slow' , Tend to get more freaked out, more often.. But sensitive people & can exploit that.. I think insight & intuition, should be used to understand & be steady , not to push.. Anyone who can feel where things could go, push for it before it happens naturally... It does, happen. So, why act like you need preform emotional surgery.

- Perhaps, some feel as vulnerable with feelings, as others with sex.

Something beautiful ,could go ugly without timing.

[ArtistBboy]

Men always "feel" it- but they rarely embrace it. When they do- it strikes them as confusion at first, because they don't know what it is. It came about swiftly and unknown. It doesn't scare him- it p*sses him off. He doesn't know why he is so obsessed with this girl. Then after a short time- she dumps him. Where he takes 110% of his sweet / sincere emotions and converts that to rage until he learns and understands.

Men don't hate women- they hate the double standards that are presented

[ArtistBboy]

Your second response is accurate-

Men date fast, women date slow (which is what you described)

[Asker]

Why would guys be any more annoyed by the fact tat the like someone/slash think about someone all the time any more then woman?

I thought woman were supposed to fall in love faster - or do you mean men FEEL it all of a sudden. Like for the same amount of feeling { As tho you could measure it. ha, ha.}, woman would pick it up gradually & a guy would be HIT with it,, right at the end or the beginning.?

ou gave a scenario where the guys gets dumped,he could get just as p*ssed if he's not dumped.

[Asker]

O. For the question about how the failure to recognize feeling I a man or I think it could just be anyone who just is a little underdeveloped in that area -which would probably change pretty quick if they examined it.. Oh, & I did not say scared, I said vulnerable.

Anyways.. How do feelings not recognized manifest if some on e is not I a relationship or rejected.. What if you just LIKE some one & you do not understand your feelings- what does that MEAN?

- People, say it all the time.

[ArtistBboy]

Ehhh... What? I'll try to make sense of what I think you mean.

Women do fall in love faster than men- which is why they try to progress slowly into relationships. They do not want to take as many risks as a man; hence the statement "Men date fast, women date slow".

Men would be hit with the feeling of love at any given time. It could be superficially, in my opinion, as "love at first site" OR it could be developed through years of interaction. It could be the begging, middle, or end.

[Asker]

When you said that guys may not understand there feelings- I can't remember anymore if YOU said that but people do.. So I want to know, is where do these feelings go.. You suggested- to anger when there is a break up, but what if there is not relationship. I want to know why guys or girls , sometimes get mad when they like people. So the answer is usually the do not understand there emotions.. Bt their emotions are somewhere.

Like when a person feels intense dislike, suddenly love / like?

[ArtistBboy]

The human mind is your answer. It compiles all of the given "data", if you will, about these situations- then it makes the emotion behind that.

So for instance, if I disliked someone and then suddenly liked them- that comes from my mind. It's how I personally prefer to handle that situation. If I get angry / cry / confused / happy / disinterested / any type of emotion (granted some of those aren't emotions)- that comes from your experience as an individual to handle the situation.

[Asker]

I did not actually mean 'literally'. I know people feelings come from there mind, but I want to know why people say 'so& so is acting like' this' because he /she does not understand there feelings.'

Like why does someone get mad all of a sudden at someone they like?

I.E. I have thought I really dislike person, to realize I like them A LOT. Suddenly.

You mentioned earlier, sometimes, when a guy likes you & does not get it , he will be pi**ed...

- Hoping you could you elaborate on that....

[ArtistBboy]

Hmm, I believe what your asking about is "Confusion". When someone doesn't understand something- they get frustrated! (Or at least I do, and my friends, and my family)

I hate being misunderstood, which a misunderstanding means I am confused why the person doesn't not realise the situation (Being that he liked you, but you don't feel the same- so it's misinterpreted as a misunderstanding- which leads to confusion)

It's not that he hates YOU it's that he hates not having the feelings reciprocated

[Asker]

Confusion is a FANTASTIC title for these posts. :-)

Tho seriously, I am not complaining.. I love all the things I learn on the way, of navigating thru misunderstandings. Which, internet discourse seems to present in abundance.

Ok. I could buy that he is mad about me not liking him, cause I am sure it appears that way at times, & other people think so.

However, what seems peculiar, is that he gets visibly mad {Sometimes} when I TALK to him.

Shouldn't he WANT to talk to me, if likes me? No?

[ArtistBboy]

Most certainly- yeah!

Though, his superego (what tells your mind if things are "okay" to do in public) is being blocked by his "Ego" (what your mind believes off short term memories) which is cognitively over-riding his decisions.

So basically- his frustration towards not being understood is blocking his decision-making abilities to realise he DOES like you, and he shouldn't be treating you with an "angry" appearance.

It's a very typical reaction from anyone in the world.

[Asker]

:-)

You sound very reasonable but the thing itself does not makes sense.. I think I mentioned earlier , how I am aware that I get mad at him, but I KNOW I do.. It is like he really just gets mad like he believes he hates me or something..&Then I don;t take it personally { I mean I think logically it's not a big deal - but it's annoying} & the next time I see him he is very nice - usually... I would rather him stay mad & TELL me that.

Ever been mad without good cause, but continued anyways?

[ArtistBboy]

Yeah - Everytime I get mad. Is it ever "Reasonable" to be mad unless the situation revolves around cheating?

Example: A girl blows up your phone and you send her back "Wtf - leave me alone" - You're mad. You are letting the situation bother you.

Talk to him about his composure and how it's affecting your outlook on who he is- he might be unaware of what's happening (which I can gaurantee is a "yes" to that last statement)

[Asker]

Umm, see the reason i;m 'here' is because I get to figure things out with other people.. In my real life- on planet air,& grass & sky & trees, I do not talk to people about there behavior. I just don't talk to really obnoxious people & anyone else I just take in stride, or I take off if they annoy me too much... I can't tell him he is bothering me, that would be like saying 'Hey I thik about you ALL the time & I want to marry you tooo. ' lol. Seriously guys think like that pretty quick -

[Asker]

- the illusive 'female trap ' radar.. - Better used for drama class.

No offense, you seem pretty level headed, but a lot of guys are just trained to blow up as a defense against perceived, potential female drama.. It's a totally vicious cycle , founded on totally illegitimate grounds, not good for anyone.

Oh. My problem, ok. um, the other thing is that he does not do it enough to really warrant me saying anything. Maybe if we wee in a relationship, but not as people with a strained history.

[Asker]

It's just that , I could see myself being annoyed with some one if I was dumb enough to talk to them out of a sense of obligation.. I have done that I the past - no more. I know as well that I would be /am mad, if I want to talk to them but can't - I'l get mad at me or them , then I just forget about it, & go do something productive ^^.

I would like to discern ,wether he is irritated, cause he does not want to talk, or it's residual resentment, from when he thought I would not talk to him.

[ArtistBboy]

Too true- but then why worry yourself ;D That's where the "ellusive feminine trap" comes into play. You see- as men... We feel like we belong in the marines or something I swear... Back to the point- we are emotionally trained through society that if it doesn't pertain to us peticularly- then why give the situation even the slightest train of thought.

Sure. He may be mad at you but if you don't know why- you can't do anything about it. Not even the slightest bit- so why let it dwell in ur mind

[ArtistBboy]

I can already answer that question- but I am trying to help you see why men, stereotypically "Explode" at this so-called "drama".

We often find ourselves listening and wanting to care- only to find that (stereotypically)- women will rarely be proactive on the situation. Which is acceptable, like stated before- men are task-oriented, so we try to fix the situation at hand. Women are relationship-oriented, so they want to feel harmonious, they don't care about fixing things as much as being-

[ArtistBboy]

Okay to begin with.

I'm not sure where I was going with that. You see, I just ramble about what's on my mind. All I can say- is that you have two options: Let it bother you (it hasnt)... or try to find out why he is doing this so that you could progress and remedy the situation (what he should be doing).

I appreciate the compliment on me being level headed; I've seen where reacting harshly can get me. the answer is "No-Where"... So why waste my breath? I'd rather just smile and walk away.

[Asker]

I am answering your post before I finished reading it, cause you usually write several things of interest so I don't want to forget this.

I 'mind' because if he is only talking tome cause he feels he should then I will not bother trying to talk to him - I mean bother being receptive when I may not want to talk to him.. If he is already offended, then I don't want to ignore him,cause it will make it worse... & His energy is def. directed toward me when he is mad.

It's just cleaer if I can -

[Asker]

Think of ways that people act bizarre or specifically negative toward people they may not feel that way about.. But yes, it's not like I'm going to worry about it forever, just that I'd like to smooth things over before I go away, because I do not know if I'l be back , at least not before he leaves, & I don't want to rush { I am not leaving for a while, so I want to make peace while thee is still time. }

What was the thing about the marines?.. Ha, ha.I grew up feeling obligated to do all -

[Asker]

- sorts of things, tho, perhaps not the marines. ^^

[Asker]

Urrgh. YOu say thing that I want to ask about before you have probably read what I already asked, which is not fair to you if I want an actual holistic response, but the thing about proactive REALLY intrigued me, & actually you hit on exactly what has been bothering me -- EXACTLY.

I VERY much like to SOLVE things.. Not sure exactly what 'harmonious' refers to , but I'm sure that's ok, but I hate miscommunication.

The PROBLEM is that, since I am female thus already slated to get sad & want-

[Asker]

Babies^^, anything I say is going to be taken as female drama, even tho I have been extremely calm , & very respective of space - I always try to be, it's not just him.

The solution is not to forget him, cause he will think it on a subconscious level - guys usually do - woman do too, everyone gets weird in ways they can't recognize - sometimes, not always..

So, if I ask hi about it, to solve something, not to bond, it's gonna be taken like lipstick anyways.

- Also, it's a little curious-

[Asker]

- someone getting so irritated for no apparent reason, & I have to se him everyday for A LOT of the day.

The other thing I just want to say, since we are already talking about it.. I think it is more difficult dealing with feelings as a woman, in a lot of ways.

Guys might be encouraged to not get sad,but girls are expected to -I don't feel comfortable 'feeling too much' It is presumed I DO. & I'm to Expect things, & want things from guys, I never even considered, just because I am a girl.

[ArtistBboy]

LOL @ "... want babies ^^"

- That was awesome.

"It is presumed I DO. & I'm to Expect things" - Meh, to a certain extent yes; however, if you don't want to do those things you're expected to- stand out of the crowd and curve your own path. There is nothing wrong with doing things differently in your own life.

You're dead accurate in your information, but it's always best to assert a situation. Regardless if your bothered or not- it could help him too- ya know?

Harmonious = Harmony

[Asker]

I'll curve a path, I'll twist it, I'll dance with it - whatever. :) It's still annoying the way people always assume things.. I am guilty of being presumptuous as well.. I really don't appreciate it with myself & I catch myself doing it far more then I should.

- harmonious, harmony, I know but if up say apeople are known for somethig, if I don't know the peopel thn yo should explain what you men by the thing' harmony' . I mean I'm not sure what woman seeking harmony means.. I think a clear-

[Asker]

- thorough understanding of what's up, brings far more peace to me then someone patting me on the back handing me a tissue , drawing little hearts on my for head & singing kumbayah- or however the heck you spell that... Information is wwwaaaayyy underrated. :-)

Let me just get tis straight. YOu think I should say 'Hey, I know we don't talk too much, but sometimes when we do , you look & act like a major di**, & I'm not sure if you wanted that brought to you're attention or not.-

[Asker]

- So I thought I would error on the side of civility, since you know, you never know who's watching.' ^^

[Asker]

{?}

[ArtistBboy]

I just woke up ^_^

Tell him: "Hey I don't know your intentions yet, but your acting very strange lately. One minute your fine around me and the next is like you hate me. Either way it doesn't bother me but I figured you'd like to know" *exit*

[ArtistBboy]

Actually... yeah- say it your way!

[Asker]

{Good Morning!}



& I was joking - sort of. ^^

[Asker]

About talking to him, not about your morning.

Anywys, I thikifitalk to him about t he may tkeit in a way that wull anoy me thenibam going ot have to explain that as well... I wonder if there was a way I could help him want to act more reasonale without him knowing I a helping him... Like I know form past he enjoyed gettingon well with me, he was super polite & he seemed to feel good about himself.. Maybe there things going on that care making him upset with me- having nothing to do with me.

[Asker]

By the way, why do guys raise the eyebrows.. someone posted that is a sign of flirting.. It kind of looks suggestive but in a playful way.. Like invading your personal space with there for head.But you don't mind when you like them. - Double standard - I know

Is it conscious, or just reflexive.. if you have an idea, I was just wondering { he does it a lot &it's really weird, I mean I am not usually shy but it makes me feel really exposed lol...}

[ArtistBboy]

"You're being different lately, is something bothering you?"

- though I think it's time to step it up and assert his issue bluntly: "Why are you acting like a d***?"

[Asker]

Ha, ha.. That it so funny. I am so tired I thought you were actually telling me, I a being different lately. :)

Problem is that we are in this weird grey area, we are not 'friends' I can't I am too attracted ot him, I mean I could pretend but don't feel that way about him

We were seeing each other but not in a relationship, so we never 'broke up'. but w ere def. not 'in a relationship'.

I guessw e are aquaintances.. can you really go up to an aquaintance & tell them they are being a Di** ?

[Asker]

I think aquaintence' you just stop talking to, as I do when he really pi**es me off..

I think I started this question just trying to get sense from others what they do or what the have observed as far as behavior when people actually like someone, but act like they wanna thro them off a mountain - sometimes. :)

[ArtistBboy]

You can say that to anyone- if you're not speaking at face value, the tension will just keep building until you both distance yourself. It's better to come clean about how you feel on the way he is acting- or to walk away permanently.

There is no reason to submit yourself to future mistreatment.

[Asker]

Good Point.. Hope this does not emna thatihav no problem being rude to other people.. Oh, I thinkimght beoblivious to how come off to othrs.. I probably think abou it so much I don't see it.. Ok. Thanks.. I just don't wnathim o assme that becaueiam sayingsnethingoit means I LIKE him.. do, but that isnot whyit is bothering me..

Oh. I think he will act like I am imagining things & that must be because I like him.. - What am I like 3? I can't beleive I am thinking this way lol.

- Thanks.

[ArtistBboy]

It's my pleasure- Haha I think we have the longest "post" on this website.

[Asker]

We should et a prize!

[ArtistBboy]

Prize? ^_^ Umm... I will give you kudos... But what will you give me? ;D *hint hint- Points at best answer box*

[Asker]

Not because you asked. ^^

[ArtistBboy]

^_^ I appreciate it. Also- we're at 75 comments as of this reply! O_O damnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

lol

[Asker]

Wow, I don't think I've ever gone that far before. ^^

[Asker]

Do you get disqualifies for 'too posts posts' ?

- Hey if he knew that I just exchanged 75+ posts, just to figure out why he scowls at me every once in a while - I bet he'd smile....

( At least in private. In public he'd be like - 'uh your weird'

- Shhh! :)

[ArtistBboy]

Hahah. First- I won't mention anything to him ;D

Second- there is no limit to the ammount of posts an answer can have

[Asker]

Uh - Oh. :)

[Asker]

I know.. I am going to tell him :

I mark the back of my behavioral psych book, every time you scowl, & or glare at me. If goes above 100 by April, with no apparent provocation, & or logical explanation, I'm not going to kiss you.

:-)



If he glares at me I will know he dos not care thus, does not 'like' me. So, no worries - I'll be free - ^^

{Joke sort of}

[ArtistBboy]

Lol. based on the length of this answer- your already at 81 (Another joke).

So 19 more and you should listen to "Free Bird" by Lynard Skynard. Lol

[Asker]

I listened to it.

- Travel... Um, I don't have to be a guy tho right?

Also , what if they 'traveled' together?.. Maybe he means - I gotta be free to travel & Fu**.

:-)

[ArtistBboy]

I have no idea- could you provide a copy of what he wrote you?

[Asker]

:) I was talking about the SONG by what's his face, um, 'LYNYRD SKYNYRD ' . {I listened to it- after you wrote it, like ten min. ago. YOu tubed it.} It was a joke . My speculation & interpretation of his lyrics - the quick stereo'typed' version.

Or did you want me to send you the lyrics - 'what he wrote'.

:-)

[ArtistBboy]

Ah no- I'm fine, I just didn't understand lol.

[Asker]

Yah, sorry, um, I did not think you wanted the lyrics.

:)

[Asker]

- He just waked by the window of the study Lab...

- Is that irony or serendipity?

(I feel all exposed now - like he KNOWS - gotta go. :-)

[ArtistBboy]

No need to be sorry- I'm a little slow sometimes >.<

[Asker]

Why do you think people say that woman are complicated, or at least why do they say that Woman being complicated, means Men are comprehensible?

I don't know if it is actually a 'guy' thing, or just a social stereotype, or a culturally imposed reality, but the RESULT is the same.. Men are not systematically comprehensible, easy to understand, or often times,it seems, even 'wiling' to be understood.

It's not an attack on men really- Life's complicated, people aclimate to complexity. & I -

[Asker]

Wonder why woman are considered complicated to a degree far higher then men? & Is it popularilly thought to be an inherent difference, or culturally cultivated?

My whole situation with Mr. 'Mercurial', is really getting me thinking about communication with people over all.. I am starting to think I met him, not because we are meant to be together, but that I take a serious look at human nature . human influence & the challenge of harmonization. W/ & M/ are 'people' - It should be expected.

:)

[Anonymous]

You don't live in NW Colorado?

[Asker]

NOw what? Ha, ha.. another one , or is this a joke?

I am an anonymous user,so I can no tell you where I a from, however, I can tell you that I do not live there, in NW Calorodo.

:-)

[erockc31]

Kelleena?

[Asker]

Umm, is that a word , a question, or do you think I am some one else? I assure you that I am not writing about anyone on this site.. Who or what are you?

I like your picture. :-)

[erockc31]

That was my attempt at humoring myself and curiosity. You described a situation that was very much like the one I was experiencing in my car pool to work. That's the girls name.

[ArtistBboy]

I got that before you said anything ^_^... The irony in similar situations... *rolls eyes*

It happens a lot on this site from what I've experienced =P

[Asker]

Oh, ok.. It' avery exotic name , & I thought it might actually be a take of from some spanish saying, or some such thing... probably if yo put a more familiar name I would have assumed as much.. Well I appreciate you appreciating my situation. Good luck with yours.

Feel free to give advice.... But, I guess you know that. :-)

[Lilnutcrackerguy]

@ArtistBboy Hey I know this is from a year before but I was just reading your response and I need your help. I like this guy and I told my friend about him and our interactions, she says that he might like me but I doubt it. because he's such a talkative person whenever he says or does something I assume that he would've done or said the same for any other girl. Right now we're friends like we talk often and we've had multiple two hour conversations with just the two of us at school and like we've had physical contact but always in a context that excuses the contact and doesn't make it seem unusual or something. Like everything between us isn't really done in a romantic context. like he sang to me once while we were going down the stairway for dismissal but its cause we had just had music class, it was our last period and also sometimes I feel like the whole situation is amusing to him cause he seems too comfortable with it and a week ago we were talking in a group with some of our other classmates and some guys from the grades above but we mostly spoke to each other, me and the guy, and he asked some like strange unrelated questions to the discussion like my relationship status, how many kids I wanted, how many inches I can handle, he legit said those things along with "what if your husbands dick is too big" or smtg like that. I was kinda caught off guard but later that day we spoke alone and I told him how I felt, he said he already knew and then I found out that some of our classmates knew too and then like a few days ago this guy from the grade above told me that the guy I'm talking about likes me but I feel like the dude from the grade above is just fucking with me and its a lie and he just wants to see something happen cause he's bored or some shit I don't know. Also the guy was at first a lot more frequent when texting but he hasn't responded to my last text and we're never active at the same time and now I'm just like I don't know... confused?