A girl keeps calling my boyfriend her best friend, what should I do?

A girl keeps calling my boyfriend her best friend. He's the first person she goes to about everything. But I find it inappropriate that she likes to tell me how close she is with my boyfriend and she actually gets mad when he's told me something he hasn't told
her. The worst part is I'm kinda friends with girl and I don't know what to do. It makes me super uncomfortable and jealous we have been together for a year and they haven't been friends that whole time. I trust he doesn't want anything from her, but I don't trust her. He always text her on advice about what to do about our fights or what to get me as a present or anything. I just feel like I should be his best friend that's a girl. What do I do?

I'm not 15, I'm 19. I guess I put in my birthday wrong. He's the same age as me. This girl is a year younger
K talked to my boyfriend about what this girl has been saying to me in more detail. He was unaware she thought they we that close and was a little creeped out to be honest.


Most Helpful Guy

  • maybe your just overreacting no offense but it could be possible that she is your boyfriends best friend, but it could be possible to that she has some feelings for your boyfriend, i think you should talk to your boyfriend about this and tell him that your jealous because of that and if you boyfriend gets angry on this then just tell him that you truly love him, and thats why im asking because i dont wanna lose you. and tell your boyfriend to ask her that does she have any feelings for him? but if your boyfriend has any feelings for her then its a whole different story

    • He will tell me she's his best friend almost in a joking manner and when I bring up how that makes me uncomfortable he says that she's not and that I am. I've talked to him about it multiple times. Like yes I'm very jealous and probably over reacting but this girl also has a little bit of a reputation and she makes me look sane once she gets attached to someone. I just don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her to back off but she needs to. She fishes for compliments from him. she always sends him outfits she Has on for opinions

Most Helpful Girl

  • My best friend is also male, and he's had this problem with his now ex girlfriend. You should consider a few things:

    -Which of you has he known longer?

    -Why does it make you angry that they're friend? Are you suspicious that they may be cheating? If so, has be given you any reason to think that?

    -Is he a loyal friend? Does she also come to him for advice?

    -Has he given you any less attention because of her?

    -Men (really, all people) are going to want to spend time with those close to them. And he has you, but he also has his friends. You shouldn't expect him to drop the rest of his life just because you're together.

    And you have to decide if you can let this go. If you nag at him about his friends, he'll start to resent you. And he'll be going to -guess who- his friends to vent and get away from you. And if his friends care about him, they'll tell him to get away from what's bringing him down. Try having the three of you hang out sometimes, be a part of the group. Yes, you're his girlfriend. Yes, I think you should be friends. But being his best friend isn't reserved for you just because you're an item. Be his friend, don't try to get rid of his other friends too.

    • -We were together before she ever came into the picture

      -she try's to shove their relationship in my face and can't have a conversation with out mentioning him at least 3 times (I've counted)

      -she does but only when she wants to be told "no you look good in that dress" or something of similar ilk

      -at some points yes

      -I'm not expecting him to drop his life, that wa Denver mentioned. What I do expect is respect though and the way she is acting is not respectful to me or our relationship.

What Guys Said 4

  • i think you need to figure out a way to work with this girl. she is friends with your boyfriend and you should appreciate that your boyfriend can have platonic friendships with the opposite sex rather than seeing the opposite sex as only romantic interests.

  • Try to back up a little bit... jealousy is one way to drive him towards HER...
    just be comfortable... you said "i trust he doesn't want anything from her"... so it shouldn't bug you UNLESS you see something in her that you think might take your man.
    just trust your man and let go.

    • It's the shoving it in my face that bothers me the most I think. I mentioned it in another comment but I just don't think she should be calling him late at night crying all the time. I would never do that to another girl.

    • so, you are working off principle and she is just consulting a friend.
      regardless of either... im pretty sure that he chose YOU... so lean back, take a chill pill... regardless of what she does, its still YOUR man.

  • My best friend is a girl - however, she was my best friend before I even met my girlfriend, so that's a little different.

    I'd be a little wary of her behaviour since a real best friend wouldn't get mad at someone for not telling them something they told their partner (or vice versa).

    A crucial question is: Do you trust your boyfriend? It takes two to cheat.

  • You need to give him his freedom, of course there's some things he doesn't want to tell you, and you should give him his privacy. And so what that they're best friends? It makes no difference on how he sees you, he cares and adores you. Oh, and what else is he going to do when she needs advice? Sext her? No, he's going to give advice and converse a bit, so don't be so paranoid.


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't see that there's anything wrong with it, honestly. It's totally fine for him to have a best friend that's a girl. You're his girlfriend, he needs to be able to have close relationships with people that aren't you. Him asking her for advice isn't unusual and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have a problem with him asking her for advice if she was a guy, so it's all based on jealousy which is totally irrational. The only thing I can see here as being maybe inappropriate is her getting mad that he doesn't tell her stuff he tells you, but it's really his place to sort that out.

    • I just find it inappropriate how she try's to almost shove it in my face. And that she calls him late at night crying. I don't feel like my boyfriend should be some other girls shoulder to cry on all the time.

    • Dude, you kinda need to relax a bit in my opinion. I think you're reading into it too much and being a bit too territorial. When a girl is so upset that she calls her best friend crying in the middle of the night, the correct response is to sympathise with her and see that she obviously needs support. Your response is to demonise her and act like what she's doing is wrong when there's nothing wrong about it.

  • I completely agree with you. Your boyfriend should not be sharing the intricacies of your relationship with this girl or asking for her advice. Her presence is not needed. Go with your gut and ensure you and your boyfriend stay as far away from her as you can. If your boyfriend doesn't oblige to this, break it off with him.