I've been seeing and sleeping with this guy for about 8 months, and it's been great. However, we haven't had a talk about being in a relationship or anything yet. We were casual friends before we started sleeping together, and I feel like that's what he keeps thinking of us as. But I'm having some issues with him treating me as just a friend; not talking everyday, not making it a priority to see me as often as I'd like, etc. Because we've been sleeping together for so long, do you guys think it's okay to talk to him about being exclusive and in a relationship? Am I moving too fast? Thanks!
Most Helpful Guy
Simple... you dont. You already have a good thing going... ugh.. why do some women just have the urge to just ruin things. Whether he knows it or not... you guys ARE already in a relationship. its called friends with benefits... and its the best. Now you want to move it to the dating relationship so them crappy rules and expectations can begin to apply... ok then fine... i will hand you the detonator.
Next time you guys go at it, right after, just ask if you guys are exclusive... dont make it some "talk" just a simple yes or no question... hard to lie then.
I still recommend just keeping it as is... because your current mentality is going to make you lose something good and possibly a friend with it... just watch.1
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Most Helpful Girl
Well how does he treat you? you say you don't text every day or see each other enough but do you go out and do things together or is it solely just sex? If he doesn't call you to go out on dates then he probably isn't on the same page as you and I wouldn't say anything about wanting more. Instead I would stop sleeping with him because clearly there's feelings there and go look for something who will actually commit to you. Sometimes by cutting of sex from a guy and I guess not really giving them the attention they once were getting from you they will do whatever they can to get that back and that could potentially be your opportunity to hint at an exclusive relationship. This can take time though. However if he is okay with you two not sleeping together then I would do what I originally said and find someone who will.
If you do go on dates and you are getting a 'vibe' that he may have feelings for you too then I would go for it and be very straight forward about how you approach it because just saying little things here and there or hinting at the idea can be confusing just say;
"We've been sleeping together for some time now and Im interested in where you think this is going? Im really enjoying what we have going but I don't want to waste my time if you don't see a relationship happening in the future. I kind of want to make our 'relationship' exclusive."1