Going to be 32 and never been in a relationship, weird?

[Anonymous]

I keep getting bugged about being a relationship, I guess that has never been a priority of mine. I was a really late bloomer, didn't hit puberty until after high school. So never really had any experience with women in high school, I mean I tried because that was what you were supposed to do. But I knew I didn't stand a chance.

I'm an alright looking guy, 6'3" 200lbs, broad shoulders. I know women are attracted to me. But I never got in a groove of trying as after high school, I played games, focused on work. I really suck though. I went out with a couple girls, but they always seem to get mad at me for something small. I think it's because I wait too long to make a move. It's just because I don't know signals or I second guess them.

I read books on picking up women, some are just evil it seems. Some make sense and seem like good advice, but takes huge amounts of time and money. The only women I have been with really just throw themselves at me and seem more like a burden than an asset, no job, not trying to do anything. I can take care of myself, but don't want to stay poor over getting laid.

The amount of time and effort doesn't seem to actually be worth the reward, but I do want children or what is the point of making extra money. They can enjoy it when I die.

I think I'm a lost cause, I know I need to make more friends as I might meet a good girl through them. But then how will I have time to finish my projects?

I'm a mess in my head when I think about it, is it worth the effort? will women find it weird that I have never been in a relationship?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for every ones input, I think I got a couple strategies to put myself out there. I always used the excuse not to do my work at Starbucks or something to be around people, because I don't have 4 monitors there.

But going to start bringing my laptop there on the weekends when I work.. maybe can meet a women there. Just got to do it. I got this.

[guy532]

I've heard a saying once that went something like this: People who have been single for too long are the hardest to love. They have been so used to being single, independent, and self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life.

You've been single for so long because you've never allowed someone in. You're more worried about finishing projects than finding someone that fills your day with happiness and joy. You see it as a burden and as long as you see it that way it will never be a priority and you'll keep pushing women away. You don't NEED a person in your life, it's choosing and admitting that while you're just fine and happy without her, you prefer it if she was in your life and currently you prefer if she isn't, just like you have your entire life. The other problem is that all these films and stories have brainwashed you into thinking that it just happens. It doesn't, you need to put REAL effort into it. You get what you put in and if you're not hitting on countless women every week and trying to get them to go on dates then it's never going to happen. If you don't go for a kiss and escalate to something more, it'll never happen.

I was a late bloomer as well, didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 25 and now I can see all the things I did wrong. I simply wasn't ready to let love into my life, I never made it into a priority. I've done the whole read books on pickup, watch videos, go on forums, etc., I've tried it out. Most of it is utter bullshit. There's only one guy who I can actually recommend because he knows his shit when it comes to developing and maintaining relationships and not just picking girls up and going on a few dates wih them. Look up coach corey wayne, he'll be able to help you out more than anyone on here.

[Asker]

I will have to look up Corey Wayne, thanks. I just need to start believing my friend CJ who has always been the pimp of our group. "Justin, you're already the man, you passed me up a long time ago, you just got to believe it and do it."

[guy532]

yea he's right, just go for it. The sad part is when I was in your shoes I knew exactly what I should do, it was all instinct and in there just like it's in you, I just didn't have the balls to go for like I'm guessing you don't. Respect yourself enough to not allow yourself to live the life you know you deserve.

[guy532]

omit the "not" hahaha

[Jorge567]

I hate that when I ask women dating questions and they say to stop worrying about it or approaching women and that I'll just happen or the right one will show up, it pisses me off so bad when I get that advice from women but then once you hit a certain age it becomes weird or you get answers like, don't you approach women or you need to focus more on going out and meeting women in mean for real lol.

[bloodmountain1990]

What about ones who actually put effort in except don't get relationships, or the only ones who do are ones were not interested in?

[guy532]

@Jorge567 Don't ever take dating advice from women, 99% of them don't know anything about how to attract women, they just think they do and they actually give you the worst advice. The advice they give you will do nothing but make you look desperate and put you in the friendzone. Look, if you're honestly hitting on like 20+ women a week and still not getting results then there's something glaringly wrong in your approach or even personality trait that you don't realize or do and haven't tried hard enough to fix it. Are you well groomed and healthy? You don't have to be good looking to get girls, ugly guys can get girls too as long as they're not reaching too high. Obviously the prettier the girl the more competition and if you're that inexperienced other guys will make a field day out of you since they'll know how to escalate properly and get women to chase them. I'll
never be able to tell you proper dating advice because it's so heavily dependent on the individual, I haven't seen

[guy532]

@Jorge567 how you interract with women to be able to point out your mistakes. The most basic advice I can give you is: stay wel groomed and fashionable, be healthy, approach as many women as possible and take every opportunity to do so, expand your friend circle, stick to your strengths so if you're funny show her, if you're not don't try to be, be transparent to women about your feelings but be confident enough in yourself to care how she reacts to it (that intrigues women since you're basically saying yes I'm interested in you but it makes no difference if you are or aren't since I have a fun life and don't need you), and last and most importantly respect yourself to never allow yourself to put you down. The last one is important because that's where confidence stems from. You see everyone has an image of who they wish to be in their heads and everyone works at becoming said person. Most people fail at this and their real self is nothing like their ideal selves which leads to

[guy532]

@Jorge567 themselves feeling like a failure and hence their confidence drops. When someone is very close to their ideal self they obviously feel like a success because well, they are and their confidence in themselves skyrockets. That's the whole point of respecting yourself to not allow yourself to screw you over. So if your ideal self is buff and has x job etc., you should work on attaining it because you owe that much to yourself. You need to suck it up and work hard and once you have that mindset you'll eventually get there because you're already doing everything that you should be doing to achieve your goals. If a man can't even take care of himself and allow himself to grow as a person how can a girl expect him to be the rock that all women look for?

[guy532]

@bloodmountain1990 well if you actually do put in the effort in to meeting new girls then you might be pursuing the wrong women, women that are not interested/excited about you. If a woman shows hesitation in wanting to go on dates with you she's not interested, you cross her out of your life and move on. To me it sounds like even when a woman shows signs of disinterest to you, you push hoping to persuade her into thinking otherwise which only does the opposite. You should be paying attention to girls who make it easy for you and open doors for you to escalate, those are woman who are genuinely interested. It really is a numbers game and paying to attention and putting effort into girls that are actually interested in you. I have no idea how right I am on this though since I don't know you and just assuming things from what you told me.

[Asker]

I got and finished Corey's book yesterday, pretty good stuff to find out quick how interested she is. I like how it's really nothing fancy and forces her to show interest if she is in the first places. If not see ya later.

[bloodmountain1990]

@guy352 it can be tricky at times. But if a girl is showing signs of disinterest, I back off. They either do come back or they don't. Some can be tricky when they act hot and cold which is an absolute mindfuck.

[lightbulb27]

followed a similar path.

My experience is women will accept your history or lack of it, but some won't. you have to be very true and real with them. Realize you are delayed and learn as much as you can about how women think and what they want. Date to get to know different personalities.

Yes, just get out and date, use online, this site, friends, and meeting in public. Approach and talk to women and get out of your comfort zone... albeit sounds like you are comfortable getting dates.

[Anonymous]

First of all: please don't read those picking up books. They're not gonna help you and their 'tactics' are already known by girls and used to determine whether or not you're desperate, not to mention those 'strategies' being extremely disrespectful and sometimes even aggressive towards us. Second, I get the feeling because even though I'm not as inexperienced, I've never been in a relationship either. Just know you're not too old and it's never too late. I'm gonna be honest: your main problem here is that women your age are pretty experienced by now and will most likely have no patience to teach a guy everything and wait too long until he makes a move. My advice: go out, make a move for some girls on the dance floor and see what happens. Don't be scared of rejection (you will be rejected many times, it's normal) and try to get experience from that. Once you feel less awkward try and go for the girls you wanna date/have a relationship with. I think that's gonna make it easier for you.

[Anonymous]

There are women out there that haven't been in a relationship either but that point aside, what type of woman are you attracted to? Regardless of reading books to help you get a head start, its much better to be in general company and just talk to women with no hint of trying to pick them up. You need exposure to differentiate your tastes, what you like to look at, what you like to hear, does she need to be funny, does she need to be interesting, does she need to be a scientist ! You need to start here to get where you want to be.

[IHateBeingaMan]

i doubt you can think of any women who have surpassed their mid-20's or reached their 30's without ever having had a boyfriend before

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan Actually yes I can. I worked with a woman who did not have a boyfriend until the age of 37 whom she married.

[springocelot]

You're too stressed about it. Don't even focus on the relationship part 'til you're there. Just focus on getting to know girls better. It does take time and effort. But don't think of it as a waste. Each meeting you learn something new about yourself and get closer to what you want.

If you're confused about signals, you may read up on male vs. female communication styles or body language books.

[Truthatanycost]

The only reason why you are concerned is due to other people projecting their insecurities onto you. You don't need a relationship but many who embark on them, are simply trying to fill an internal void. The effort, time, cost, drama and compromise for relationships does not match up with what you get out of them.

[NyomiMcClinton]

I am not going to lie to you it will be weird to meet a guy that has never been n a relationship. Most females will wonder why haven't you dated. These days so much guys are lying and playing games you can't blame women for being a bit suspect. But I do think its good that your not the type to just jump into relationships with just anybody for the sake of saying you have a girlfriend.

[IHateBeingaMan]

ya, biggest problem will be to find a woman who will overlook his lack of experience

[MarkRet]

I had a pretty jacked up life for years, but I got involved in activities that gave me a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. The trick is, if you don't have confidence in yourself, a woman won't have confidence in you. Getting involved in activities (like Arthur Murray dance lessens, for example) gives you that confidence and an opportunity to socialize with women.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn't be but unfortunately a lot of women are going to take it as a "red flag". Something must be wrong with you right? It's stupid but that's the mentality out there. There could be many very good reasons for it, but no, something is wrong with you is what they conclude.

[Asker]

I get a lot of women that assumes I'm a player. Like I met Automn at a fire, I drunk made a move. She kept asking how often I do this with women.

I told her almost never, but she didn't believe me and I got blue balls, I'm not lieing!

[Anonymous]

I think as you move forward you have to get over the whole age part of this problem and just focus on trying to date people. there is lots of people who are 32 and single trying to meet someone to date. I wouldn't try and worry about the fact you haven't been in a relationship yet , I'd just try and get out there and meet people like everyone else does and not worry about past failures

[FakeName123]

I think you should start at the fundamentals. Dating advicers usually have some sort of truth in it - but most pickup stuff just focuses on creating temporary attraction (so you can hook up and shit).

You need to ask yourself before what you want. Long-term or just sex? What kind of woman are you attracted to? What kind of woman do you want to date?

So on and so forth.

[TryingToWriteBooks]

I'm like you. I don't know the answer either. It does seem to me that once you get kids, your biology and instincts will force you to work and take care of them for the rest of your life. Whether that's better than not knowing what to do, I'm not sure.

And yes, once you get bored of money, that's another of life's pleasures slowly receding away.

[TryingToWriteBooks]

MGTOW doctrine has espoused for a long time now that once a man reaches 30 safely (meaning without getting married and having kids), he's home free and can live in peace and indulge in his interests for the rest of his life.

[Unit1]

It's not that uncommon brother! You're a man and you and I both know, that men are more likely to be left out single for life than women.

Because women are more desired than men.

I'm also sure, that I will be there where you are now in 10 years from now on.

You do you. Just keep going. Stressing about it will not help you now and will not help you later in life!

[Anonymous]

Successful fit men in their thirties are prime real estate for marriage. You literally could get a wife between the ages16-30. Any single woman over thirty will throw themselves at you as they are desperate for any man. Go to church to meet girls who are wife material.

[Jan1ssary_]

Age 32 ? Damn dude.. just believe in yourself time is passing. Thats the truth chicks don't approach that much. You ard the "hunter" and they are our "hunts" 😎 As u saw in documentaries hunts don't approach their hunters so play your cards like that.

Who cares if they don't want you, just be yourself don't be a loser.

[IHateBeingaMan]

ya, thats why i picked this username because i hate being the hunter

[Jan1ssary_]

@IHateBeingaMan Are u submissive or something man? Disliking your own gender cause of being shy? Damn bruh did u start to love dicks or smt..

[IHateBeingaMan]

ya i hate being dominant, i hate having to be the initiator

[Jan1ssary_]

@IHateBeingaMan Lmfao get a life man.

[IHateBeingaMan]

why do you think a guy should embrace that? it pisses me off whenever people say us guys have it better because we don't have to do the waiting, makes me raging mad

[CHRIS11796]

Don't listen to people telling it weird, a lot of people older than you haven't been in a relationship and i honestly don't think there's anything wrong with that. And i bet most people who are telling you it weird would not be happy being single because they need someone to make them feel happy. And you can still find a girl out there, age shouldn't dictate how your dating life will be from this point on.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Come here bro...
i.memeful.com/media/post/ZMayb0M_700wa_0.gif

[valeriewen]

Well to be honest it's a little weird that you haven't been in a relationship. But any decent girls aren't going to judge you for that.

What sort of girl are you seeking to date though? Are you looking for them in the right places?

[Jjpayne]

I'm in the same boat, 32 and never been in relationship, although, I have not been very active in looking or getting involvedin social activities.. just wanted to let you know you're not the only one

[MSari]

Love knows no age. It won't even matter if you're even 50 years old and never been in a relationship. Just take your time until you're ready--- goals achieved and dreams fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

It's not weird I'm in the same boat man expect I'm 24 going to be 25, it's just a matter of luck I guess the older you get the more baggage women have and they throw these insecurities on you for example if a girl went with a jerk and he cheated on her etc she'll have insecurities about you etc.

[Agirlwithalemon]

I will be honest, it's a little weird. Most people have been in relationships but if it's something that you don't want, then it's whatever.

[diegoD]

He is probably autistic

[levantine99]

@diegoD lol people dont even know what autism is. the nonsense you can hear from non specialist halfass-learners online... .

[diegoD]

@levantine99 you have no clue what it is I know what it is its impaired social skills and in terms of expressing and understanding people and the world

[BertMacklinFBI]

you do you man.

when you're ready you'll feel it and do it.

[LonelyBird5]

You sound like an Aquarius. Stop being one or you'll never find love

[helloitsmethere]

Shut the hell up, being an Aquarius has nothing to do with that

[Asker]

I actually am an Aquarius, but don't think that is the problem

[LonelyBird5]

Yeaaah totally makes sense. 100% make sense. Aquarius are more the freedom time. Probably the most independent type of people via zodiac signs. Read this thread it might help (https://twitter. com/mysticxlipstick/status/765424719185272832)

[Hina122]

u sound like a nice guy any women will love to be in relationship with u it's not about making moves it's showing women u care if u get in relationship