She flirts with me yet just wants to be friends?
So there's this girl I like alot, we have been friends for about 3 months now. At first it was great we where just friends but it quickly grew to be more than that, we had half ass talks about liking each other we would hold hands, it never really went past that. We where also seeing a lot of each other. The first 2 months or so we hung out on our off days, we practically gad the same schedule, we texted constantly, an we saw each other 7 days a week. She flirts with me all the time at work and ill flirt back. We recently took a trip to
Al, an after the trip she sent me a long ass message on fb saying she need a break, we needa focus on ourselves more. So we hardly speak for 2 -3 days after that, everything kinda goes back to normal, I talked to her about it, an she basically told me the opposite of what she sent me in the message. She still flirts with me at work just not as much, an she says all she wants is a,friendship. She says she gets crowded easily, I'm thinking we got to close so she backed out. To protect her feelings an emotions I'm guessing, she's never had a boyfriend. Friends in her past have droped an left her. I can understand her getting scard, but why still flirt with me like you want more, but back out when I get to close? An I know she won't admit she's scard. I just don't know, she's amazing. but she givws me all these mixed signals, she holds my hand, when I go to hold hers she pulls hers away. She makes it so obivious she likes me alot... And now we hardly text any, we hang out maybe twice a week, an both our scheduals changed randomly.. I just don't get it.?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
i think there's 3 conclusions in my own opinion based on my own experiences...
1. she is afraid you will hurt her the way she's been hurt in past relationships
2. she isn't ready for commitment and wants to be with a few people at once and play
Around.. and is possibly putting you on hold or adding you to her mix..
3. she doesn't know for sure if she feels so strongly about you anymore or has found
What Girls Said 1
What Guys Said 1
if flirting is "making it so obvious that she likes you" you're wrong and I hate to admit that...girls flirt for many reasons but the numer one reason (IMO and from expierence) is simply for attention. Not every girl that flirts has any intension of hooking up.
Anyways here is my advice, if you like her then give her the space she has asked for. Don't pester her with texts or calls all the time to see how she is...just every now and then send a text and say "hey". Keep it SHORT AND SIMPLE...no long stories or any of that crap, unless your in person and you two are hitting it off...but look, you like her, you know what you want, she doesn't know what she wants so now its your turn to protect your emotions. Be a gentlemen, show her you can be friends and you aren't just gonna run away, however if you get real close to her it can be bad, like I said before you want to protect your emotions first - SO if you cannot be friends with her currently then don't be...if she yells at you and says blah blah you need to tell her the truth...that you like her, yet with her mix emotions and not knowing what she wants it pushes you away, not because you like her less but because you're protecting yourself (just as she is with herself right now).
Hanging out with her is good, just don't see so desperate, don't go telling her how much youve missed her and all that crap, just play it cool...you haven't even gotten to college yet, you're gonna want freedom then anyways...think of it this way - a girl wants to be with a guy she can tell everything to, her best friend, someone who she can trust and knows will be honest...so, be her best friend, there is obviously more than friends here but I suggest holding yourself off until AFTER college...being friends with her and maybe even hooking up can play a huge benefit. Although it can also leave you in the "friend zone". See if what you are saying is correct with ehr not trusting a lot of people and people constanly leaving her, then be her friend, stay around for the years, let it play out...after college and all those years of being such good friends maybe she'll realize you're the one for her - but if you meet someone else then so be it - if its meant to be you two will be. DO NOT put your live on hold for anyone, especially at such a young age. Just be who you are, if you can't be only friends then you need to tell her that - at least you're being hoenst with her...but if you can deal with it, the both of you potentially seeing other people but always being there for one another then I think you'd be paving a good path for yourself if your information or assumptions are correct
take your time, it was the turtle that won the race, NOT the rabbit...
hope this helps, good lucK!