Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months now and I love him more than anything, but I hate the fact he smokes weed with his friends and it makes me so angry and annoyed. I don't care about his friends smoking it or my college friends smoking it either, and I don't even mind being in the same room as his friends when they smoke it, it just bothers me that my boyfriend smokes weed. He had been telling me it's not that harmful and that it's not even a drug and it is, it;s class B, and I'm just concerned about his welfare such as his lungs or what it could do long term, such as paranoia (which he already has anyway and he gets easily jealous) and mental health. He had his first joint when he was 12/13 and he is now 18, and before we went out he used to smoke it everyday, all the time, but now he is with me he only smokes it a few times a month when he goes to see his friends - I just hate watching him smoking a bong, however, I prefer being there when he smokes it so I know how high he's getting and I'm not sat wondering and getting annoyed about it. He has also taken drugs this time last year, cocaine, mcat, phet. I told him how proud I was of him that he didn't do that anymore, and when I found out he had come round to mine stoned, I was disappointed, because I don't want my boyfriend smoking weed. However by the time I realized he did it I had already fallen in love with him. I'm not critising anyone who smokes it, I just don't like smoking in general at all, and my boyfriend told me he was sorry that I he did something I didn't like. Although, I asked him if he would stop if I was to ask him to, and he said he would stop when he wants to, I wouldn't ask him to stop anyway, but he says that one day he will. My friends don't understand how I put up with it because they wouldn't go out with someone who smoked weed. What should I do?
I hate my boyfriend smoking weed. What should I do?
First of all, if he loves you he should want to quit for the sole purpose of making you happy. And you should understand his point of view too. Sit down and talk with him. Make a list of pros and cons and see what is the best decision. You should take some time to research marijuana and it's benefits. paranoia is the worst effect of weed, and some people are affected worse than others. Weed had MANY health benefits and zero negative health effects. Especially for your mental state. You said you are concerned about his mental health. Marijuana does not negatively impact your mentality. If anything, it helps it. It helps you focus, be more creative, innovative, etc. It is a drug, I do agree with you on that. But, just because it's a drug, doesn't mean it's bad. It was used by many cultures from hundreds of years ago and they all praised it. They all recognized it's greatness. And it is actually a class 1 drug. The government labels it worse than cocaine, crack, meth, etc. That doesn't mean it's true. MANY doctors and scientists have run tests, experiments, etc and have proven that it is one of the best natural substances you can put into your body. Just because it's illegal, doesn't mean it should be. The only reason it is illegal is because a bunch of corrupt politicians in the 70s decided to lie about it. I don't know if you're religious or not. I myself am not. But I know religious people take God seriously. If you think it's bad for you, do you really think that God was wrong and a bunch of corrupt, lying politicians were right? I am pro-weed obviously. But I do understand your side. I just believe you should be educated on the subject of weed before making assumptions about health. Your boyfriend should consider your feelings and you too should have a real conversation about it.
First off, you have no right to tell him what to do. Second, weed is 100% good for you and has no side effects what so ever! You are just like every one else who is so gullible and listens to everything your government says. You do know that the only reason why it is illegal is because a lot of politicians and a lot of corporations will loose a lot of money due to resources. Hemp and weed has so many uses it's ridiculous that we continue to let these politicians not be incarcerated. Did you even know the first car invented by Henry Ford ran off of 100% hemp oil? That is right, cannabis oil can run your car with out any co2 releasing into the atmosphere. one of the cleanest fuels, yet we still result to fossil fuels! Did you know you can build houses, rope, paper, etc.. and end deforestation due to that hemp could be grown anywhere. Oh and here is the shocker! 1931 a Dr Otto Warburg won the Nobel Prize for proving that cancer cannot survive in a Alkalized oxygen rich environment, and thrives in a low oxygen acidic state? Do you know what is highly alkalized, marijuana! This is why people who suffer from cancer smoke and consume hemp and weed, because it realistically kills cancer. Did you even know that the cantanoids that exist in weed exist in your own body as well? Smoking weed will benefit you and has NO side effects what so ever. And no, it does NOT effect judgement and motor functions, a huge lie, and not a gateway drug neither, also a lie!
You're an idiot. You don't even understand the most simple facts of genetics. Don't come here and call me a idiot when you know nothing about anatomy and genetics. I will make you feel stupid!
That is false. Weed isn't 100 percent risk free nor is it inherently dangerous. There are many benefits to smoking and many drawbacks depending on the individual and their genetics. For the average person, smoking weed is fine. For some with cardiovascular or anxiety conditions it can be a bad, even potentially fatal idea if we are discussing the former. Marijuana is a vasodilator and can raise blood pressure and heart rate and affect heart rhythm. That's why a lot of daily smokers have mild arrythmias. If you already have a heart problem it can be fatal. i just don't like to hear people parading marijuana around like 100 percent risk free when it isn't. It's also again very beneficial and won't hurt most people. Just explaining it depends on the condition. It's great for asthma, not so great for heart arrythmias. And yes it's killed people just because no one had Died from an overdose doesn't mean people haven't died from let's say a weed induced prolongation of the qt interval.
Just what the fuck.. Both my sisters are smoking weed and they're have gotten dumber than ever. It has side effects and people like you are just making the society worse because you're promoting this shit.
Excuse me haters but he is right, it is risk free. 0 recorded deaths in all history directly linked to ganja. Only thing that changes is your mild loss of memory for the time being stoned and also your ugly face gets even weirder, cause thats just how everyone looks when stoned
smoking weed will change your thinking temporarily hence your thinking will change long term... weed is bad and it can change your life for the worse, I know this from experience... also smoking weed does not helps with illnesses, only canabis oil helps and it's not called "cantanoids" but canabinoids... you kids don't have a clue what you are talking about and don't have enough experience to talk about it either... weed is bad
to answer the question, you can't make someone stop doing something, he will decide to stop or not to stop but do know that people tend to smoke weed their whole life and never stop, I find it disgusting and I use to smoke as much as 30 joints daily all by my self, it's true... I was addicted to it and this is also true, you can get hooked on anything, it can be a stupid candy but it's just how your brain works so marijuana is even worse... the truth is I think it makes you dumber and an idiot, it simply is not something God intended for usage like these idiots
the truth is I think it makes you dumber and an idiot, it simply is not something God intended for usage like these idiots today are using it... people use to smoke marijuana and they would roll a joint pass it around and everyone would just take a few smokes and that was more than enough... these idiots today are overdoing it and I have every right to say so, bongs and everything, it's just moronic to make a life style of something so stupid and everyone should know that a good life is only in modesty... so I know how you feel, my girlfriend used to tell me not to smoke but I would never stop just because someone told me so, I stopped for other reasons, that's why I think he will not stop until he decides to stop by him self... weed affects everyone differently so he could become an idiot or he could become a normal person maybe if he will do it once in a month or better never if you ask me, all options are open and it's all just a bet and gamble in life
hey bro don't insult her. if you really want her to accept weed. insulting her is not gonna do it. I am pro-weed myself, and I am really educated on the subject. You are incorrect to say it has "no side effects what so ever" because it does have side effects. they are good side effects. and one negative, which is really not that bad: paranoia. also consuming it can get you fired. so it does have side effects. I understand both sides of the argument even tho I am for marijuana
Wow, havenāt you noticed that lots of stuff people like; chocolate, alcohol, etc isnāt good for you? Because you like it, isnāt an argument for it being harmless, just like murder isnāt justified because serial killers like killing folks. Why you like it, is because it creates dopamine (hence the word ādopeā) and a rush of seratonin and activating your reward system in your brain. That doesnāt mean itās good for it. I could care less, legalize it please, so I donāt have to hear street-doctors nonsense anymore, I have plenty of data collected, in the form of friends, in groups of chronic weed smokers and not. Admittedly, no difference with respect to happiness, or family stability or success or health even, however the difference is they wasted too much time dreaming ideas and not enough time experiencing what gets you ahead, so there is a huge income difference as well as simply regret, they regret more that they didnāt do this or that, however they are great, nice people
I have read a whole lot of negative comments and I would say that they should shut up! Their are focusing on the smoking part rather on your problem. What I recomend is that you first talk to your boyfriend and tell hi clearly that you don't like his smoking weed and you wish he stopped. Give him some time to see if he condlsiders what you have told him. It doesn't really matters if weed is beneficial or not. What matters is that YOU don't like your boyfriend doing it. Sencondly, if he still doesn't take your opinions into account and keeps on smoking you leave him. I would do so. Don't give him the choice of weed or me. Just tell him honestly that you told him ypu didn't like his smoking weed and decided to dump him because you cannot force him to stop. No matter if he tells you he will and you come back. Because he may tell you so and then forget about it. And the cycle would start again. If he wanted you back he should come back clean or forget about you. Ypu cannot change people, but you can choose not to fall with them. I believe that weed is the first step to worse things, even more if he has already tried them. One thing is to smoke occasionally and another thing is to smoke every day or every time you meet with your friends. What's more he has already been on a period where he smoke every day. Think it trhough girl, think about you and your future. You love him. And of courses it will hurt to leave him. But you have to think for yourself first in these situations
To be honest, there really is not much you can do to change him. If he has decided he wants that in his life, then that's his choice. I'm not saying it's a good one, but you can't change another person, only yourself. So you have to make a decision. You either keep putting up with it or break it off. You could of course set an ultimatum first. But chances are that he's not very likely to want to give it up if he's a regular user after so many years. Tough decision on your part. Part of me wants to tell you you knew what you were getting into but I know that's not entirely fair. I'm sure you like him a lot but at some point you're going to have to draw the line.
You've een with him 8 months but he's been blazing since he was 12/13.
Don't start relationships with people who do things you're not happy with. It's not fair to ask him to stop doing something that was around before you were.
I smoke weed every day. I think a lot of the people who don't get a skewed picture of what your average stoner is like - they only think of the stereotype. I go to school, get good grade and run half marathons, all while stoned.
There is nothing you can do. You either accept him or you don't and it is time to move on. I am 29 now and I can tell you that my friends that did drugs in college are doing the same things now that they were then. Some are dead because they overdosed and some are in jail because they got addicted and had to feed their addiction. You choose who you spend your time with and these people never stopped being my buddies, I always made time for them when they needed me, but I couldn't let them drag me down with them. The smartest thing you can do is surround yourself with success and successful people. Weed isn't it.
PLEASE TELL HIM YOU "DON'T WANNA DATE A STONER." THEN, TELL HIM WHY!! BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY.. TELL HIM WHY!! I'm only saying this because I WAS THAT GUY a few years ago, and you asked what should you do... Me & my girl got an apartment together, and we would both invite our friends over since it was our first apartment. Her friends would come over, & have lame "gossipy, girl-time" I felt like I was an outkast, they would NEVER speak to me & pretended like I wasn't there. I hated that. It felt sssooooo uncomfortable! I never said anything tho. I would invite my friends over & we'd smoke. Sometimes she'd hit it... But HARDLY EVER HAPPENED. I would even ask her if it was cool to invite my friends over JUST TO CHIEF and she'd say, "ok, sure babe." However, after they'd leave, she'd ask me why we did, tell me she didn't want me to, etc. We only lasted 3 months in that apartment and it eventually ended our 8 YEAR RELATIONSHIP!! because I didn't understand WHY SHE DIDN'T WANT ME TO!!! One day we both just told each other EVERY DAMN THING WE DID THAT ANNOYED each other. I understand it's not legal in a lot of states, but girl.. if you've ever thought about breaking up wit him because he smokes, DO NOT DO IT BEFORE YOU TELL HIM, "I don't want to date someone who smokes, BECAUSE..." OR HE WON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU BROKE UP. HELL! if my girl woulda told me WHY she didn't want me to, we'd prolly be married. 😁 FR FR!
You won't win this, don't even hope: once a guy is hooked on drugs, he'll never admit it but he'd rather drop his family and girlfriend than give up drugs. He'll just change his drug: weed instead of cocaine, mcat, phet.Or heroine
"paranoia (which he already has anyway) " is a 'normal' (frequent thus) effect of drug use:
He says he would never take drugs again, and he said if I started smoking weed he would split up with me, because that's not me. He also said he couldn't live with himself if he knew he had got me smoking weed, and his friends don't mind that I don't smoke it or encourage me to. I do think that his paranoia might be from the weed though.
You can't do anything about it. He started before you were with him, he has to stop on his own. My boyfriend smoked a lot and stopped a year before I met him. When I got with him he smoked the last weed in had in front of me. The fact that I was here was the ultimate reason for him to stop.
He smoked only one time since at a festival and he got sick but I know it won't happen a lot.
He stills smoke a lot of cigarette and I don't try to make him stop either, you can't push someone to stop, he'll be upset about it. You can tell him once in a while that it bothers you.
Yeah my boyfriend also smokes cigarettes, and that's why I always say I'm not going to ask him to stop, because he smoked it before we were together. I just feel like now and then I have to let out my emotions about it to him, but he says he will quit in his own time anyway, and I'm worried he won't because his friends smoke it literally everyday almost.
Same for me. I'm worried he'll never stop. I hope he will. He smokes in the flat also...
But as I said to a friend, if one day I get pregnant with his children, cigarette would be forbidden in the flat and next to me, and later next to the children. So he better think about stop before it happens ^^
He doesn't smoke inside the house, he goes outside, unless he is at his friends. But I agree about getting pregnant with his children - I would definitely want him to stop smoking weed then.
Your not going to convince me that a green plant, that has tons of minerals, so many grams of protein, healthy omega 3's, vitamin k fat solubles, potent antioxidants, highly alkalized on the ph levels, and also sulfur rich, and you are not going to convince me that this plant it bad for me or that effects my motor functions, because as a person who studies gene expression, your not going to convince me a whole food that has so many essentials that makes your brain and body function accordingly, will deregulate judgement and motor functions. Only a fool would believe what's not true, and refuse to believe what is true~ I copied and pasted this from another debate I had, but think about it, how does something offer so much good, be bad for you? Don't believe anything politicians and government tells you. The laws and rumors they pass is to benefit them, not "we the people"! Weed as been used for medicinal purposes centuries!
If you read what I put, I actually said I wasn't asking him to give it up, I was expressing my problem with it and I was not critising or against anyone that smokes it, I don't even care about breathing it in myself, and I have breathing problems. A lot of my college friends smoke it and I am fine with it, and my boyfriends friends don't care that I like it and we all get on great. My issue is that it is a drug and I hate seeing how it changes him when he takes it.
That would not change the way he acts, if he is acting different under the influence, he is choosing to act that way, not the weed making him act that way. I don't understand, if you do not have a prblem with him smoking it, then why bring it up?
I do have a problem with him smoking it, I don't have a problem with other people smoking it, such as mine or his friends. I just hate the thought of him smoking a bong and then he starts getting the giggles and being zoned out and it bothers me. I've never been in a relationship with someone who smoked it before, and it gets me so angry thinking about him smoking - maybe it's because I don't do it, and I would never do it, but for some reason it really bothers me.
Your acting like a baby, is that what you want to hear? He likes it then let him be! You should try it yourself to see it is not a big deal, guarantee you will take back everything you said about weed if you do try it!
He said he couldn't live with himself knowing he had got me into weed if I tried it, and he also said if I tried it he would break up with me because that's not me. I would never smoke anything anyway, cigarettes, weed, anything. I have breathing problems anyway, and smoking has always been something I knew I would never try.
How would you know if you never tried it? You might really like it. Also, before the corrupt politicians that made it unlawful in the 1930's so lumberjacks could make their money and wreak havoc on Forrest ecosystems everywhere, cannabis oil was used in cough medicines. What you do not understand that if it wasn't for these corrupt politicians, weed will be in most medicines today, and to the fact that it is natural and no one lied to you that it is bad, you would of had no problem trying it!
Unless you have anything helpful to say, don't bother saying anything at all! I didn't write this for a lecture on the 'brilliance' of weed, I wanted peoples advice on my relationship.
@ 1ibiz - You've made it quite apparent that you can't cure your own arrogance, hard headedness and intolerance of other peoples opinions. In a couple of threads now. You smoke pot. Who cares? I smoke cigars. Who cares? Some people drink. Who cares? Other eat chocolate everyday. Who cares? But you come across like a 13 year old who thinks they know everything and everyone else is stupid. Fortunately, a 13 year will old out grow that stage of life.
Judging a unknown person's character, reading them. Figuring out whether they are truthful, aggressive, passive, hiding something. It's part of my job. What I've been trained to do. In person, listening in on phone calls, reading what they've written. So yes it is part of my character. Where I work I'm very well respected for my work abilities.
Taking an experience from one aspect of your life and being able to adapt it to other, parts. Makes for an accomplished individual.
From your words you sound like a annoying moron that talks about shit he doesn't know, and gets mad when somebody corrects them! You continue to annoy me over shit that is not even a opinion, it is fact. So stop trying to look like you know what you are talking about because you don't know shit!
To be honest, I do know what I'm talking about and I do know what I'm doing.
You see 2 or 3 days ago I replied to a comment in a thread. You challenged me to a "debate", because you assumed I was afraid of you. I guess because of your superior knowledge. When I read your comment, it gave me a chuckle. When I see things like this I become a troll towards that person (you).
...cont'...I will word things in a sarcastic, condescending way. Purposely. Why. To wind up people like you. I wind you up and watch you spin. And each time you wind yourself a little bit tighter.
@1ibiz - One last thing. I don't know if you noticed. But with the exception of disagreeing with you (in the other thread) about marijuana and impairment. Not once have I given an opinion or questioned your other alleged facts that you have posted. All I have posted is what I know and have experience with from the policing aspect. And my opinions of you. I have no problems with someone having a difference of opinion with me. Until they are a complete a***ole about it. Then I troll.
What rise are you getting out of it? Do you really think you are having an impact in my life. The only thing you have proven is that you are annoying. Does it really bother or affect me? No, so what are you really accomplishing in your mission?
What is your mission? To continue wasting talking about things that don't matter to a person you don't know? You have already accomplished that, well done!
canabis oil is not the same as smoking it, just as it's not the same when a viper bites you and the antidote made out of viper's poison so don't talk shit if you don't know much about it... you are just another patient who idolizes weed
I understand how you feel. I've never been a fan of smoking weed, I certainly gave it enough tries, it just never appealed to me. What you may be overlooking is the social aspect and subculture that comes along with smoking weed, and what that means to your boyfriend. If he has been smoking for what sounds like, the majority of his formative years, he has become so accustom to that subculture, he doesnāt even think about it as being one, itās how he met every one of those friends of his. Just imagine, having a half dozen friends because you all like brownies or painting your nails. Sounds silly right? It is silly, the weed culture is silly but they think itās normal, very ego-centric in many ways, you will never find so many self-proclaimed geniuses in any other social circles. Your friends should come from YOUR interest, and if they all came from smoking weed, then focus on that, he likely needs to see it
Weed conditions you to overvalue your creative ideas and dreams of what may be possible, and undervalue or forget, what is required to get from point A to B, because to most of them, those points represent the fridge and couch
How would you feel about having a child with this guy, then you get ill and die. This guy is now the sole parent for your child. Does that scenario worry you?
You must accept the fact that you can fall in love with someone who is not a good partner for you and sometimes you must leave someone even when you love them.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Don't listen to anyone who says weed doesn't affect your boyfriend. It's a drug. The only reason people smoke weed, is because it affects them. Weed definitely tends to bring our paranoia, and smoking anything damages the lungs. And it's just plain foolishness, at best, to say weed kills cancer in the human body. You might as well say, smoking weed also cures diabetes, heart disease and STDs. Weed also damages the brain of adolescents. Now, back to your boyfriend. He was dishonest in not telling you early on, that he smoked weed. The issue now, is what to do. It's very unlikely that he will quit because you want him to. If he were that concerned about your feelings, he would not have lied to you, by not disclosing his use, when you first knew him. (lies of omission are just as much lies, as are lies of commission) And And as you will be staying with him whether he quits or not, you have no leverage to get him to quit.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Dump him if you don't like it. For me. Drugs, smoking, etc. Are all deal breakers. All of it is harmful, to those use try to say it isn't are retarded. Here is an example of him showing that drugs and smoking are more important than you. If he valued you more, he'd probably make an effort to stop immediately and not "I'll stop when I want to" that's just wow. Just dump him, imagine how he'd be with other situations. Why would you want to be with a druggy anyway? I'm sure you could dump and find a better guy fairly instant compared to him. It also keeps you from being pressured to do them. Your friends do it, his friends do it, he does it. I'd say you need to make new friends and boyfriend that don't like it either.
Feel like this is a you problem, let the guy smoke weed, it's not the worst thing he could be doing tbh, just kinda a monetary drain and smoke isn't super great for your lungs but generally its better than smoking a cigaret. Like unless you think you can't trust this guy then that's a whole other ball game, but if you just fear for his life but don't care if your friends or his friends do it then what example does that set? It seems to me that you care about him but are just being a bit paranoid about it. So if you have such a big issue with it and its an absolute that he stops, I dont agree with you but I can give a suggestion on how to handle it. What you need to do is offer to give a few thing (s) he wants in exchange for the thing you want since relationships are give and take if you want something you have to give something or he will feel punished for just being himself and he may leave
To the people saying it isnāt harmful. Technically speaking, itās not. But for paranoid people it is very bad and toxic for relationships not to mention my boyfriend did it and I made him stop because it stopped him from being able to eat and he became so skinny, yes usually people eat more, but not him and some people react badly. Now that heās not on it, he eats all the time and is a healthy weight and Iām so proud of him for stopping. You have every right to be annoyed because everyone deserves a say in their relationship, itās not controlling, itās personal preference.
The comment you selected most helpful tells about your ignorance. Maybe you deserve a guy that is high all the time. No... REALLY! If you don't like it, leave him, he won't quit because of you. They never will, they are addicted. They will always chose their addiction ahead of everything. Do you want a guy like that?
Wowowow calm down, its only a joint? I've been smoking weed for 10 years. And let me tell you it is much better to smoke weed than drink alcohol. You can never understand if you never try it yourself, I'd say go smoke weed yourself for a few months or 1 good year and judge afterwards
You don't have a right to make him stop something. You can give him and ultimatum, sure, but that doesn't mean he's going to stop. Hos habit is not harming you, aside from it annoying you, so there's absolutely no reason he needs to stop simply to make you happy. If you are that against him smoking and he doesn't want to quit, then leave. Simple.
That said: You can't change people. You can voice your opinion (and it sounds like you have.) You can explain to him how his behavior is impacting you and why you wish he would change, but you can't EXPECT him to change.
If he doesn't do anything with your opinion, then you need to strongly consider finding a different guy. There are plenty of men out there who don't use drugs, or use them much less frequently.
If you can't get over it then break up with him. He's not going to stop if he hasn't already and if you try to tell him to stop, he's just going to resent you for it. If he's only doing it occasionally, I'd say it's not cause for concern. Also, why are you 22 and dating an 18 year old?
You've probably made clear that you hate him smoking weed, and he doesn't really care. He's not going to quit. And just like everyone says, it's a gateway drug, and you say that last year he was experimenting with various drugs that could earn him a nice prison sentence.
Break up with him and find a guy without a drug habit. That's really your only option.
This is your life. People are going to come and go. That is life. If you are not happy tell him. That didn't work for you. So now he chose something else over you. Bottom line weed more important. If you are okay with that. Then stay. But if weed was over you what is next?
Weed is not going to hurt you as bad and any other drugs. I would rather my boyfriend smoking weed then doing pills and that shit. I used to smoke it myself to help me with my depression and I must say it helps. All you can do it either accept it or leave him. He can be doing it for mental health and not telling you. I know people who smokes it for pain in their body.
He won't change. And you have no right telling him to. Its his choice, not yours. Either accept him as he is or break it off.
I could go into a big speal about the benefits of cannabis but im not going to. Used properly it can have many benefits. But it can be abused and is abused by many, especially kids 12-18 years old.
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