Friendzone on the run or just mixed signals? Help?

[Anonymous]

There this guy which is very good friend of mine and we have a lot in common. And 6-7 months ago when I started to notice all these changes: the way he looks at me, and sometimes like touches my hand not on purpose but his hand just like stays there and I don't want to move my eather. And also we couldn't stop talking to each other, like for hours (It's still this way now). One when we were at the coffee shop we were laughing and chilling with other friends and I said to our mutual friend something like "Oh look at that badass sick look of a serial killer, just look at him" I was joking of course and this friend said "Oh no, that's the look he has when he likes someone" and I was like speechless at that moment and I looked into his eyes and he was kind of confused too. I didn't know what to do, I was confused and said to my other friend at the table that we have to go and left with her. (There was 3 of us at the table)
And after that we only got closer and closer. We went to the movies together and talked until 4 am, but he didn't kiss me, he looked very nervous but he didin't do it. I kind of rushed him when we were saing goodbye and then waited for a minute and he was kind of confused looking at the distance like he wants to say something but he didin't and I run for a cab. And when I was running he yelled something funny and wished me a goodnight again.
I was also in his apartment at 1 am I don't know why, because he invited me and nothing happened. He also looked nervous but didn't do anything.
Even his friends which I don't know texted me from his phone to call me to come outside or to say how he is a perfect guy but little shy...
And when we were, which happened pretty recently, on kind of seminar we slept in the same bed, and were kind of hugged and I slept on his chest, and we were laughing and got very close and everything but he still didn't do anything. And now he likes my posts on Facebook but doesn't call. What's his thing?

[Hrothgar]

He sounds shy, and you might have to make the first move. I used to have the same problem. I was dating a chic I really liked but couldn't work the courage up to kiss her, even though I knew she wanted me to. She eventually shook my hand when she left, and I never saw her again. Lesson learned: don't be shy, and go for it if you can tell she wants it.

[Asker]

Well I hope he realizes that soon. :) I'm shy too but I keep myself open... I don+t know If I should take the initiative?

[Hrothgar]

If you're unsure whether you should take the initiative, you might make hints that you want him to make a move.

[Asker]

I flirt and he flirts back but when the moment comes he looks into my lips and then freezes and looks away. Sometimes I hear him sigh hardly.

[Hrothgar]

It sounds like you're either going to have to make a move or move on. Or just talk to him about it.

[Asker]

I don't know. Does exist any reason why would you as a guy act the way he does? Shyness? Not enough confidence? I'll try to talk, tough I don't know how really...

[Hrothgar]

If I was shy and didn't have enough confidence, I would act that way, yes. He may really want to to but can't work up the nerve.
The best way to talk is to ask him about it next time you touch each other, or lie together, or any instance when you know kissing is the next step. You could flat out ask him if he wants to kiss you, or you could ask him what he likes about what you're doing, or you could ask him what he's nervous about. Best of luck to you!

[Asker]

I'll try tha. Thank you! :)

[Hrothgar]

You're welcome. Best of luck!

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He's either friendzoned you or a complete wuss. Why don't you bring the subject up to him?

[Asker]

Well he kind of acts cool and doesn't call me or text me at all. And day ago I texted him first and we talked a bit and then he said he has to study. And later that evening he comes online and likes my posts but doesn't text ne. And sometimes he texts me at random like for no reason. I don't know how to act.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Well what do you want?

[Asker]

It's ok to me not to text each other all the time, and I agree with that but he sometimes doesn't text me for like even for 2 weeks and I would like to heat from him at least 3 times a week. Like anything actually.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Are you even dating? Do you want to date him? I'm very confused about your relationship with this guy.

[Asker]

We are not dating, we are good friends, but we do like everything like a couple and all our mutual friends say that we already are a couple because the way we act together.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I think you need to talk to him about your relationship. I mean, you're clearly not getting what you want out of it... he seems unable to make a move if that's what he wants. I honestly don't think he's that into you... but it's worth finding out for sure.

[Asker]

I don't know how to start that talk? Hmm.. I mean after even his friend told me that he likes me and all that has happened he's not into me?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

the friend could be misinformed. Just start out with a simple "Hey, I love it when we hang out, and really like you. but I don't know how you feel about me. Are we just friends, are we more?" Simple and to the point. And if he likes you more than a friend, then dovetail that into the discussion about how you feel left out on those weeks he's not contacting you

[Asker]

It's his best friend and not just one that told me that and he tried to stop it... That's goood, I should try that... I mean it's better that I die when I ask than die slowly like this...

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Exactly.

[megamen70]

yaddayaddayadda02, you have to remember that op here is under 18 I'm assuming a high schooler so her and her crush are still trying to figure things out.

To OP. I think you already know the answer to the situation. You yourself mention how he looks like he wants to kiss you but then gets nervous and backs out. It's pretty obvious that he is really into you but just shy and very nervous. I would recommend making a move because I guarantee he will respond if you do so.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I get that, but if we started as mid-teens being open and honest with our feelings, being able to eloquently state what we want out of a relationship, and being able to remove ourselves when they're not working for us - how much easier would the next 10-15 years of dating be?

Especially in this day and age when girls are wanting equal rights, then sometimes they have to make the first moves as well.