Guys move on so quickly?

OK this has happened so many times to myself and my friends and I want to know why...Why do guys who have been in a long term relationship with a girl he loved and then broke up with move on so so fast, like have another girl ready to take her place within a month...and in my own experience (and I am not saying I'm beautiful or an oil painting...) but why do they seem to move on to much less good looking women...I mean my ex and I have only recently broken up after a year and a half...i know we have a good laugh together, and get on well and have amazing sex and the girl he is replacing me with is not at all pretty...would be easier for me to accept if she was but she is really not...and I don't get it...why is this?

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • well now this gal is a godd question...

    basically guys are trying to run away from themselves...wat they are actually trying to do is to find someone else so that they can forget their earlier gal...

    after break off they become so desperate that dey start looking each gal from a prospective Girlfriend point of view...

    there may be two reasons for this behaviour:

    1. Either he is missin that emotional and physical support he was gettin from his gal.

    and

    2. He might just be trying to prove her that he can get many gals and he doesn't require her.

    basically many guys suffer from stress during that time and they have a huge "ANTI CRYBABY" barrier ahead of them...they can't even express their feelings...

    at the same time thier EGO stops dem from going back to the same gal again...

    thus in short guys do all this hanging out and onenight stands after breakoff just to run away from thier own feelings...

    • Dats the reason all guys give when dey are in no mood for marriage.....he hadnt fallen into the relationship from emotional aspect.....he had entered it only for fun..

      many guys make GFs as a stsus symbol or for physical reasons..

      if he is such a guy why do you even want to be wid him....try finding someone who understands you and cares for u....

      and there are definately many such guys who even want serious relaionships....

      u definately deserve someone better so let yourself free for new oppurtunities

    • Problem is he's actually not gettin any from her!! she lives too far away! But he said he was too young to settle down etc and I think because I'm older than him he thought if he stayed with me he would have to get married!

    • Of course he doesnt.....

      he still has feelings fro you....otherwise he wouldn't bother to come and spend time wid you.....he would rather be wid that new gal.....

      guys mostly try to avoid thier ex if they dnt posses feelings for dem.....

      he still likes you but he is being a pig going to some other gal just to experiment....

      i dnt knw why some guys turn out to be so stupid to leave a good partner to just experiment their sexuality wid some gal.....dats really sick

    • Show Older

What Guys Said 37

  • We move on so quick because we're f***ing awesome.

  • i think it depends if the girl breaks up with him he wants to find something to fill the void if he breaks up with the girl then he may not have been in love as much as you thought he was and he might have feelings for another girl. Personally, I moved on from a relationship pretty fast but recently I have this girl who I love are having some troubles but she means so much to me I'm willing to wait til the end of time for her. So really it may just seem like guys do this often but it really does just depend.

  • first I want to say that you asked a very good question.

    but back to the story.men to be honest have problems with emotions of love. Iam not saying we are more hurt but the way we handle it is wrong wich is for the most guys the common thing of I will not tell my emotions because she might not accept me.anyways this where the most guys go wrong by hiding the emotion and not telling . and when they do that they are hurting them selfs.I think in the common world why a guy tries to get much girlfriend is because of the standard barier of losing the love by hanging out with girls.or ofcourse by going out allots of times.

    and that's why these days guys are searching for acception like the most girls but on another way.a girls mostly takes a break of the game called love.but some guys do not settle down but search fast for a new girlfriend. this helps them getting theyre acceptation they need.or they try to make theyre social community bigger.to feel better

  • We dont, we just simulate that we do, its the manly thing we do. would you prefer a guy that cries and cries after breaking up? Not very manly huh?. Trust me its not easy to move on

  • It's mostly a defense mechanism for us to better handle the breakup. Also culturally and biologically because we men don't have the pressure of having a baby so we can simply move on with less stress.

    -MaxPrime

  • Because you feel like he didn't see you as that pretty.

    You think he looks upon you as uglier as her.

    Not conciously but subconciously.

  • girls can do the same exact thing. I think guys can just emotionally detach themselves from a situation they feel like is over for good. However, me personally, it's like a scar. The situation happens and leaves a somewhat visible mark, but not one that inhibits anything. However, if a situation of similiar merit occurs, and reminds you of what caused that scar, then you feel that pain again and therefore your never truly over it

    • Well the guy in question contacted me again after I had not contact him for a few weeks, even though he has a new girlfriend he is tellin me he loves me and hasn't moved on. I tried not to talk to him and I caved and he said it was all done to try and get over us but he can't get me out of his head and is still in love with me although we can't be together. So I met with him and he kissed me and touched me like we had never been apart and we had sex. but he is still with the other girl....

  • because they have d***s.

  • they dont, its just your perception

  • i think I month is definitely long enough to get over someone. my mom said that her boyfriend broke up with her after sr year in high school and she was upset all summer. I wouldn't want to cry over someone for that long. answer my question. why does it take girls so long to move on?

    • What separates men and women's "emotions" is that exactly emotions. Women tend to be more emotional than men and that's just the science of it all and men are more physical no matter how many times they say that they are not. Most men are attracted to women physically first than personality usually comes second.

  • Not every guy moves on as fast. But if he does move on quickly, it's in indication that he was cheating on you and planning to leave you long before he did.

  • Having a new girl helps you forget the last girl. It is as simple as that.

    Good Luck,

    James

    • That is not true.

    • Not true... Time is the Best choice

  • I don't care what age what they say or what they do, it takes at least 9 months to get over a girl they truly liked.

  • >like have another girl ready to take her place within a month...

    I've never done this. Several of my ex-girlfriends have. Those are the ones I don't talk to anymore.

    >why do they seem to move on to much less good looking women...

    Wow, they did that too! I don't know what causes this behavior, but it's definitely not a guy/girl thing. My ex-gfs did the same rebound crap that your ex-bfs did.

    My guess is they're just shallow, scared people so they're always forming a backup plan and leaving as soon as the going gets tough. The less-attractive backup is easier and less intimidating, so he/she makes an excellent rebound. That's just my best guess, so let me know if you can come up with a better explanation!

    • 1mo

      This was always my theory when my ex randomly broke up with me. He was sooooo into our relationship. He was the one who pushed it on me, then professed that he was soooo in love with me... would never leave me... blah, blah, blah. I eventually fell for him and the relationship got really deep. Anyway, we dated for a year and as soon he needed to take a risk to advance our relationship, he shut down and just cut me out of his life. He left and I haven't heard from him since (been about 6 months). He now has a new girlfriend (started dating her pretty soon after the break up) that is honestly not his type or at least what he told me his type was. I could never make sense of any of it. I actually spoke with his mom and she told me that her son runs away when things get tough or don't go his way. The only thing that made sense was a very immature person that ran away. I know I'm better off. Who wants a guy like that? Anyway, it still sucked.

    • I COMPLETELY AGREE!

    • Preach

  • Most of the time the other woman was waiting for you to break up with him so she could quickly move in and take advantage of a good deal so to speak (Basically she is less attractive then you so she didn't get a chance to prove how much better a wife she would be because he was distracted by your beauty. Now that he is no longer caring about beauty she can come in) . I honestly found it funny when my dad's wife divorced him because he didn't have enough money. Three weeks the neighbor across the street is dating him and he is making three times what he made with his original wife. reaching 114 grand a year. The neighbor woman may be less attractive, but she is a way better partner.

  • Some times its just sex or the type of sex. Or maybey he feels more loved by her

  • because we get bored by loneliness.

  • cause progress is moving forward...regressing is living in the past.

  • hes probably hurting and needs someone to kind of cover that up or help him through it, and he can't talk or be with you so he needs someone right away. she was probably available and willing...and I don't know you, but there is a trend us guys see about pretty girls...theyr'e a lot more work, to keep, to entertain...sometimes girls that are less pretty are more loyal and easier to keep happy...just a suggestion

    • OMG! I am in the exact same postion as you! my ex's exact words were "why the f*ck wouldn't I care? I still f*cking care for you but I don't f*cking want to!". and he was the one who ended things. why the hell to guys do this?!?! they shouldnt care if they're with someone else. its not fair on their new girlfriend and also they have no right to care about the things you do!. sorry probs with a jealous ex who I don't get :@

    • Well my ex is torn...he said that he wants to move on and be with this new girl...but he also wants to see me once more but he doesn't know if he should because its wrong as he's with someone else and is supposed to be moving past us....weird thing is he broke up with me!!! so what is his deal? is he over me or not? does he really want to be with this new girl?

  • My ex of 4 1/2 years left me out of the blue six months ago. She was the love of my life. I haven't dated anyone, slept with anyone, nothing. I can't get over her. Sometimes I wonder why I even wake up. My soul is crushed. I treated her like gold, and had so much to offer her. We were the perfect couple in the eyes of everyone else except her. She feels that she can do "better" than me appearance wise and thinks she deserves an Abercrombie model. It's shallow, and it's never going to work. Good guys are hard enough to come by, let alone good looking good guys. Guys who date less attractive girls have confidence problems themselves. The more attractive one partner is, the less the other has to try. If you aren't that hot, but I am, I know you aren't leaving me. Or so I think. Guys take break ups so much harder than women. It's much easier for a girl to break up with a guy, or be broken up with and get over it. They can go out with their girlfriends, flirt, drink, take guys home, etc. Guy's don't usually do that unless it's out of spite. Women cannot separate emotions and sex, guys can.

    • then again...she left you. its usually those who are left that can see how quickly the other moves..

    • Absolutely not.

    • Really? I'd think that BECAUSE women can't separate the 2, it would make it much harder for us to get over it.

  • Here is a site that can help you get over it...

    www.MOVEON.org

  • Cause crazy women hurt us so much we become numb, and have no reason to love. Because all it's going to do is cause heartache cause that's all women are good for is breaking one's heart. There yeah go question answered. Oh and since we aren't allowed to have emotions. We find out at a young age, that we aren't allowed to love either, we are just supposed to move on, or else there is something wrong with us, we are stalkers etc. Look how society treats men that don't move on there's your answer, it's been forced on us enough that we just don't give a d**n anymore!

    • Idk perhaps its crazy women like you. Women don't accept love. Nah not bitter just learned.

    • What on earth makes you think you aren't allowed to love?

    • You sound so bitter!

  • Well, for me, would move on fast from a relationship, because I view dating as like a test, if it were marriage, I wouldn't be able to move one, even if it were just on paper. I view relationships as technical, to sort of see what kind of perosn someone is, have fun with them, and so on. Yes, I can love them, but they can also move to friend mode and I could still retain those same feelings, but replace them in the relationship spot with someone else. Guys, as you may have heard, are not as emotionally driven and so on as girls. They are looking for certain things, perhaps on a list, and if they don't feel right, and they don't see those things, they move on, or at least I do. But he could also see things on his list in that girl, and hey, if he can have sex with her and it feels good, ok then. I am not sure about the good looking woment thing though someone else may have to answer that, but as for moving on, that is my opinion.

  • Not all guys move on fast. It depends on how attached he was to you.. and his will power and support to move on.

    If anything.. I'd say more girls move on fast.. They're usually the ones that let it all out in tears, and have more friends and family support on average, than guys do.

    • Not really...my ex got a new girlfriend after a week of ending things with me. and well we had a fairly long relationship and he would often tell me that he loved me and could he "keep me" etc....

  • i think its because guys are less emotionally attached. I've always moved on quickly from my ex-gf's, one time within a couple of days. just the way it is... unless you're elite status, we're moving on.

  • It is quite possible that they already had someone else lined up, or into a relationship with the new girl before they broke up with the present one...

  • its because us guys wana make sure were sleepin with someone new before you girls... and obviously its a lot easier for a girl to get laid then a guy... so us guys tend to drop our standards temporarily to make sure we sleep with someone new before you do so it doesn't hurt us as bad.

  • What girls think of as beauty has absolutely no bearing on what guys find beautiful. My ex was always saying the people I was attracted to where "plain" and often felt "insulted" by my taste.

    If the relationship isn't working, the guy will be miserable but trying to make it work. Usually, it takes meeting someone who "fullfills" what's been missing before the make any rash decisions on breaking up. When a guy breaks up, its because he's already moved on. Not like some girls, who do it for sport and checking >.<

  • It's easy for us because our prize in life is most definitely not a relationship. Sounds bad, but listen for a second. It is a woman that usually puts the emphasis into each relationship, if the man likes what's happening, he'll run with it. A man is more concerned with his legacy, or peer image. Always improving his status. I exaggerated a bit, but I think it gets the idea across. As for her looks... we don't care if a woman has the prettiest package, however we do care about what she's willing to do with it. *just being honest* I'm not at all trying to antagonize you, but this statement isn't accurate( "the girl he is replacing me with is not at all pretty") What you see is perception, what you hear is opinion.

  • It's not just guys. I have been on both ends and depending on who you are dealing with it usually sucks either way. I hate to say it but just move on with your life, enjoy it, and it appears it wasn't meant to be and someone is out there, it is just a matter of finding them. Best of luck.

  • Moving on is the fastest way to forgetting, I would probably do the same (Sorry telling the truth)

  • Sounds like you are asking two questions at one time. To answer the first question of why guys move on so fast is because guys like having someone to love and care for all the time. We would rather have a date to take to the movies, than to go all alone. Being alone sucks bad. I know you ladies can get along just fine being with each other, but for us guys it just doesn't feel right unless it is camping, football game, hunting or something like that.

    As for the second question concerning looks of the next girlfriend, I guess it comes down to this answer for you to think about. Since white women are dating black guys so much and white guys ask why, you give the answer it is only skin deep. Don't be such hiprocrites. You date the blacks and we date the uglys, after all it is only skin deep, Right?

  • I think it has more to do with the guy having already moved on, or broken up with/lost love for much earlier in the relationship. Guys generally have "checked out" of the relationship long before they actually end it. So it is pretty natural for them to have already flirted with or saw the possibility of themselves with another person. I think this sort of thing can go both ways however. And as for her not being pretty...seems reasonable. After moving on, guys really likely are not interested in the next one being prettier, so much as they are more interested in them just not being like you in the ways that made them want to break up. Sorry if that hurts a little, but take it for what it is...he just wanted something else -- right or wrong. Plus she may be easy to get into bed (esp if she is not pretty and she sees him as attractive -- she may want to sleep to keep), thus making her an easy lay which some guys really like after a long term relationship...its a fresh kill so to speak...new toy...etc...

    • I think you should get the best answer.

  • Us guys, men, boys...will always do something to get over the last chick we were with...and that's doing a few chicks, lap dances, or buy something expensive to get over it. All those things can be done quick. Why would a guy sit and roll around in the past? It make us look weak to the average guy. So we will do something quite different to pacify what we are feeling.

  • Because guys get hurt just as much as girls but we aren't allowed to go around and show it so we move on by finding another girl and focusing our attention on her to distract us from the sh*tty situation. Which is exactly what I am doing right now.

    • Gotta be, it's the only way you girls will learn anything lol.

    • I like that you are so honest.... Not at the situation.

  • I think it depends who dumped who, and how much he emotionally depended on you.

    if he wasn't that deep with you, then he's just following the basic post-breakup template:

    1) Act pathetic and try and get you back.

    2) Drink excessively

    3) Grind what you find

    4) Dump her for no reason

    5) Confidence is back and life is good again

    Sometimes step 1 is skipped and it's straight to step 2. Depends on how intense the relationship was. Sometime we never get over it.

    • This man is a genius. Why are you not working on cancer research right now?

      I'm not being sarcastic. Or at least, I don't think I am. Up-arrow clicked.

    • Lol I love your answer!

  • beauty is in the eyes of a beholder.. usually the guy always finds a better looking girl.. probably to make her ex. jealous.. and girl get better and better each time.. hahah

    • Lol...u can be that way if you want..im not saying I'm beautiful but in most peoples eyes I think youd find they'd say I'm far better than what he's got now.....so whatever.

What Girls Said 18

  • its just to show you not the only girl in the world and he can get any one if he really want to, its a matcho thing we will never get it.

  • I was with my boyfriend for over 2 years, living together for the past 6 months, which was the kiss of death for our relationship...it was me that had problems adjusting to the living situation and although my heart was 100% there, my head was too busy seeing all the things that I didn't like and I had a tendency to take it out on him. Not to say that we didn't ahve some of the best, most amazing times together...we were perfect, we laughed and had fun, we were so in love and he truly loved me with all his heart. After our last fight about 2 months ago he had enough and told me he was done, and I moved out, but not after begging him to give us another chance, to which he said no. Less than a month later, and after a few weeks of banging anything that moved, he was dating an ex, one that he had tried dating 15 different times because they had a child together, he said so many times he felt nothing for her, and basically she was his perpetual Plan B and always took him back...now they are together, and I know for a fact he does not and will never love her, and certainly not the way he loved me...she is the exact opposite of me in every way...but I am crushed that they are together...even during the breakup I commented about him going back to her and he said she is teh LAST person I'd turn to and here they are now...together. I keep telling myself that he is miserable and that he is onlywith her to forget about me more easily...I really believe hat men move on to teh next quickly in order to not have to feel the pain of losing someone they really loved...it's the only thing that really makes any sense to me...

  • First, let me say that I don't know what looks have to do with it.

    That being said, people are different. Some of my friends love to be in relationships, and don't like being alone, so they pair off with anyone compatible. I personally like time off between boyfriends because there should be a 'cleansing period', where memories and things fade before I am ready for someone new to move into my head, heart and time.

    Your ex is probably just a serial dater.

  • Men have stronger biological needs. They need ample supple of females all the time. It has nothing to do with beauty, just sex.

    The fact that he said he can't be with you know because he's with the ugly girl? This is bs. You need to move on.

    For me, f***ing a new guy helps. Sorry for sounding crude, but it does.

  • I have seen it both ways, I think that it depends on the person

  • maybe she is not looking for a beauty queen. maybe they jive in so many ways. and guys like simple things...maybe your guy just want a simple, relax relationship. sometimes being a diva gives them a freak... well, maybe he is not that into you... that's all. move on...

  • I know someone who got dumped after 3.5 years with his girlfriend and before you know it he was dating some new girl. In the pictures, he looks so uncomfortable with his new gf...it doesn't look natural but with the ex it was sooooo real. You could just tell that they were in love.

    Girls tend to cry over a heartbreak more than guys but I know guys feel the pain too. If he dumps you obviously he wanted to move on but if you dumped him it might be harder for him to get rid of the feelings he has for you - doesn't mean he won't try to find someone ASAP.

  • That's weird, cause the opposite happened to me. I think women move on fast after a serious relationship.

  • because they're pricks, who probably didn't give a sh*t in the first place. in other words...just sex.

  • Rebound

  • i think it might an ego thing like oh 'i can get another one easily' or like someone else said, he's hurting. well either way, it's kinda hurtful to his ex if he moves on so quickly.

  • Because they are not that into you to begin with.

  • Yes, men can move on faster than us- women, because we are women, we are sensitive and easy to be hurted, when we broke up, we are hard to be cured, and because they really don't love thier women, so it's very easy to keep moving and forget soon. But can't put this with all men, many are also honest, they also feel hurt, even they decline, can't say that they're weak, just because they really fall in love and it will take time to cure and move on.

  • Girls do this also. It's a human thing, because it helps us forget quicker as well as other things. A lot of times the added bonus is flaunting around some one new for our ex to see and get jealous over. When it comes down to solely guys, they like ego boosts. You know it happens often when they have a name for guys moving on so quickly, rebounds. Just they name shows it's nothing serious. Ego, ego, ego. ;)

  • im anonymous user with 978787756343212 coments to ur question and my answer add me as a friend if you like

  • u shud not make his life continously about u. he is not replacing you he is moving on with his life what does it matter what the girl looks like it is not ur life its his stop tryying to be apart of relationships end for a reason

    • I am justhat1chick

    • As a girl I think female hearts like the feeling of being broken that's y we fall in love... to break up :(

      u have a big piece of him already. he is in ur heart and he always will be.

      i think wen 2 people fall in love they exchange a piece of ther hearts so a piece of him is in you and a piece of you is in him always always always. liars say they completly forget ther loves.

    • Ur anonymous too!! I know exactly what you are saying, I really am not stupid even though I know I my actions say otherwise...i just don't want to let go...i know deep down its over, that we will never be anything more than we are now, but I guess part of me wants to keep the little I have left...

    • Show Older
  • They just don't work like we do.

    Why do you think "most" women can't seperate sex from emotion and men can?

    They process things differently to us.

    Women over analise and we are much more emotional,men are more logical (apparently lol) and much more simple.

    So...where as a woman will sit around around crying,going through all the old memories and eating a whole load of icecream,a man,although they are still hurting,will try to find a logical solution to feeling like that-new girl=distraction.

    It takes his mind off it.

    It could be he's chosen a girl who is the oppisite of what you are, maybe so he doesn't get reminded of you.

    Of corse I'm not a guy so don't quote me but this is what I make of it.

    • Well she is 10 years younger than me, blondish hair (im brunette) wears glasses and is heavier than me, and she's from england and we're from ireland...he said I lived too far away to make it work (I live an hours drive away) and she lives a whole plane ride away!!! I just don't get it!!

  • trust me they don't move on so fast , at least not as fast as it seems I know from experience that a guy with great love cannot forget his love to a girl no matter what he does you still effect him in everyway .

    i knew a guy who when he was 17 fell in love with a sick girl and he`s now 21 and he still won't consider falling in love again he loves her and I see her in his eyes sometimes he still cries for her its very sad how she just went away .

    there are many kinds of men some of them fall in love in a real way and others don't maybe he`s a jerk(no offense) .

    but you have to know that , we are women and we are strong and we indure a lot of emotional pain ..we`ve struggling before but we always heal and stay strong but men cannot take emotional pain as much as we do when they fall in love they stay were love drew its borders.they replace us because they are in the denial stage they don't like staying home and wheeping like I do !

    hope I helped

    • Thanks...just I think after over a year and a half that even if he has fallen out of love with me that seeing someone else and phoning and texting her (who lives very far away and he will only see her every so often) only five weeks later is a bit fast...i was his first love...he told me before me he never even believed love existed....so I don't understand how he can move on so fast...and like I said...if she was beautiful id maybe understand but I've seen pics and she's not!!

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