How can a guy lose interest in you so fast? Should I call or just forget him?

Well, I have only known this guy for a 2 weeks. And we really connected and had a lot in common and laughed a lot. I don't get it. Everything was going so well. He kept telling me how much he liked me...then he just stopped calling , texting and responding to me. I haven't heard from him since last Friday. I guess he just doesn't like me anymore? should I just wait for him to call or should I call? I haven't called because I feel if a guy is interested he'll call or text.

I erased his name and number out of my phone. I'm Done. Like a said, when a guy is interested...he makes it known.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys do call when they are interested. This guy is probably just bored and looking for a challenge, looking for the girl who thinks she's too good for him. The kind of girl who is too busy/ important to return a text most of the time. If I were you I would ignore him right back. You have to really believe men were just put on this earth to open doors for you, pull out your chair, serve you, and kiss your feet. Even though deep down inside you absolutely adore them and would do anything for them.

    • Follow that advice and you will get a guy alright, just a question of wether you will still want that guy in five years time. If someone is really not interested they never will be. You can play emotional games to make them feel they might be interested, you can even trick and fool someone, but in the long run those games just become the reason they will leave or will leave or worse lead to a loveless marriage.

      Just be yourselves and live life the way that makes you proud to be you.

    • and cloud9 are on point...for real. I peep this guys motive though. He wants sex. I've never had a friends with benefits relationship, so I was curious. But damn...what makes him think he can put little to no effort into getting laid...and will still get laid?! Wow. wrong chick.

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 8

  • I don't know what will come from your situation but I can tell you about an experience I had.

    I met a really sexy, attractive girl on my train route. We got on really great and got close very quickly (we had much in common it seemed). After the 4th day, I had decided to give her my mobile number and arrange a date (seemed like I could not miss keeping in touch), thinking about it at work all day! I got on the train and was just planning / waiting for the right moment as we talked...

    but... as we taked, after about 5 minutes I not only had lost ALL interest but was actively glad I'd not given her my number earlier! She was no less sexy, no less attractive but just something about who she was and they way she lived her life had put me off completely.

    I completely lost interest in her (excepting in the purely sexual sense which is not what I like to base a relationship on), as I lost interest, she seemed to talk faster and faster and the more she talked the worse she made things!

    So, its possible for a guy to lose interest in the space of 5 minuets, even if he's into you. Especially at our age when we really know what we want in life and what we are looking for.

    • Well, we went out on a date and he called me to tell me how much he enjoyed it.he was so excited about me to coming to visit him so he could introduce me to his roomates but I didn't feel comfortable because they're all guys. He's younger too. 23

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    • Its probably not a game. Its just a young man being a man. He probably doesn't think anything of being out of touch then calling up for a "booty call" *shrugs* not my world but I know of such men as work colleges. It does sound as though his interest is manily (possibly purely) sexual though.

    • Quote of the week!!

      "Don't give up on men. When you meet the right one, it will be impossible for him to lose interest."

      LOVE IT! :)

  • Apart from thinking he is being interested in you, it is also possible that he's playing you. Some men can do this...they come up unexpectedly and say they like you, call you up once and then leave you altogether. Depending on how long they treat you this way (days/weeks rather than months, because longer ones tend to be genuine relationships), it is a way for some of them to make you feel attracted and think of them.

    The other idea why he hasn't called could possibly be that he is actually with someone already and was just playing around with you for a little.

    Put it this way, if the guy hasn't got a girlfriend already, he'll more than likely call you right away and ask for a date. Why else wouldn't he call you? If he is as interested in you as you say he was?

    • We already went on a date. After the date he kept asking me to come visit him and asking if he could visit me. But I didn't feel comfortable visiting him because there's a house full of men there and I didn't have him come to my house because I don't bring guys over until I get to know them(I have children). even though he's not going to meet my children I still try to play it safe. We didn't even have sex, I told him I wasn't ready for that. but sex is always on his mind.

    • I see. Well if that's the case the question that springs to mind is....did you tell him you had children before or during your date? It's quite possible that he was a little put off if you were a single parent.

      Either way, I think it has revealed what this guy's true motives are. Truthfully I'd be very wary of this guy (even though he is talkative). If someone is seriously looking to commit to a relationship, sex should be the last thing on their mind and not the first.

    • I told him I had children before our date. I was very upfront with him. the other day I sent him a text telling him that I felt like he is loosing interest and that I feel foolish reaching out to someone who is not really responding, and I don't want to feel that way so take care. He then responded that, that wasn't the case he just wanted me to come visit him. So I asked "so you ignore me?" and then he says that he will try try to pay more attention to me and not do it again.

  • LOL he obviously read too much into it, he thought you were playing the game where you test if he's clingy and things like that. This boy fancied you but he didn't want to seem desperate because of all the rules the girls make and boys have to follow. Its the 21st century, you should've called him if you wanted to show him you like him too. He was definitely wondering why you never initiate contact with him. So don't over think things next time and look at it from a boy's point of view before you make a decision. GIRLS THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE ALL THOSE SILLY RULES THAT BOYS "HAVE" TO FOLLOW.

    • If you noticed I said he stopped responding. I reached out to him. no silly rules. If I keep reaching out and a guy doesn't reach back, why would I waste my time?

    • oh OK well then in that case forget him he wasn't worth your time in the first place

  • If you want the guy you should make some of the running. If he has lost interest he'll let you know. If he wants you but is shy, you getting in touch encourages him to keep going. If you feel you are too special to make any effort, he's probably better off without you.

    • have you ever liked someone and got the feeling they weren't that into you? well, I've come to the conclusion that's his case. I have reached out with nothing back in return so I'm done. I don't chase guys. I move on.

    • > have you ever liked someone and got the feeling they weren't that into you?

      Not for ages. It is more efficient to confront now and know for sure if she's shy but keen, hadn't thought of me but might, or never would. It does risk rejection, but that's better than weeks or months of wondering.

      > I have reached out with nothing back... I don't chase guys. I move on.

      Fine if he's not that special to you. If he is, I'd make it obvious because we guys can be very slow to read the signs.

  • It's likely he's playing a game or has found another woman he likes better. I encounter this more than I'd like to. In my case, the girls often dfo turn up with a second call or text, but they've found their new boyfriend and it's not me. That's the reality of today's culture of dating as many people as you can at once. Either way, try sending him a text or calling him once, because if it's only been a few days, he may have gotten busy (you get busy, don't you?) Yes, its unlikely he is that interested if he didn't call right away, but you never know, and you at least could get some feedback.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Yes, people can lose interest quickly, especially when you have not known each other long. I agree with not texting him. Not that I wouldn't want closure but it is the rare person who is comfortable enough to tell you what happened to begin with.

    • Oh, and I see you had a great date. Sadly, yes, even after a great date, even after a guy calls to tell you it was great, they can lose interest. Sometimes we are trying to fight our instincts or what others are telling us and when we get a little time for clarity, we can realize that we really are not in to someone enough to keep dating.

  • That is true that if a man is really into you, he will move heaven and earth to see you. He could have some issue that you aren't aware of or he could've lost the attraction for you. Not necessarliy physical, but you could've pushed him away from being too available, too easy to get for him. Men will be inspired to chase you IF they know that your life is so full and he would be lucky to be a part of it. If he gets the vibe that you're making him the center of your world, unconcisously his attraction for you will diminish and he won't feel compelled to "get" you. I'm not saying it's anything you said or did, just a vibe he picked up on. Believe it or not, men are sensitive and can feel a woman's vibe! That's why it's important to BE hard to get, not PLAY hard to get. Fill your life up with things that make you happy and you will be irresistible to him. If/when he contacts you again, just play it cool, act like you've been busy and just say, "it feels good to hear from you." Don't expect any explanation. If he keeps it up, then move onto to a man who gives you the attention you deserve!

    • Thank you:-) Very insightful. But I don't really make myself available to him. Everytime he asks if I can come visit, there's a reason why I can't. He stays an hour away. If he doesn't call, I don't. I rarely text him first. If I haven't heard from him in like a week, I may send a text. He wants me sexually very bad but he seems too lazy to make an effort. So now I'm wondering if there's another chick in the picture. I truly believe his main goal is to have sex. Not that I mind, but damn...

    • he needs to give me more conversation than "when can we have sex?" Dudes have to go through an interviewing process before they have sex with me. lol. I need some back ground information! Not about to be jumping in the bed fast.

  • Nope! Don't contact him...NEXT!

  • this exact thing happened to me and I'm telling you just get over it. He's probably just insecure and has low self esteem. don't bother with him

  • He's just not that into you. Why would he stop calling someone who's compatible with him? 'Cause he didn't think you were compatible for whatever reason, in the first place. Him dropping off the face of the earth says so much anyway. He hates confrontation, hurting people's feelings, and would rather not take responsibility for the way he made/is making you feel... so really, you're not missing out on much.

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