Why does my girlfriend get mad when I tell her to calm down or relax when she's mad?

[martydude13]

So my girlfriend gets mad and sad a lot because she is emotional. I always seem to tell her to calm down or relax and she gets so mad at me. Why is that?

[TwistedLogic]

Because she's emotional. She interprets your actions and words incorrectly. Emotional people don't compute what they hear or see, they just react based on what they're feeling. When you tell her to calm down, you are attacking her, so her reaction must be defensive.

You are aware of her personality, so you should let her be mad for a while and then try and talk to her. Be smart and manipulative with your words, start with something comforting that shows her that you are on her side, and then tell her to calm down. For example; I can't believe X said that about you, what a bitch she is, don't stress yourself over her baby, she's not worth it, just sit down and relax. *cuddle*. Lol, or something like that, y'know?

Women have been like that forever, and it's kind of our job as men to be as patient as possible with them. So don't let that annoy you, it's pretty natural.

Good Luck. :)

[TwistedLogic]

Thanks for BA, buddy. :)

[bewildered_123]

may be because she thinks that by "relax...calm down" you mean " I think what you are saying is childish and you are getting hyper over nothing...so relax"... so what you need to do is try saying "ok...i understand how you are feeling...but you need to calm down so that we might talk about it like adults".. may be it might help

[aly-marie]

When I'm upset and someone tells me to calm down, I feel like they don't understand why I'm upset. Don't dismiss her feelings by saying "Oh, she's just emotional." Listen to her and try to relate to what she's feeling. It makes people feel alone and misunderstood and unappreciated when someone tells them to just calm down.

[udolipixie]

Because to her that's treating her like she's a child and dismissing her emotions.

In fact you say she gets mad/sad a lot because she's emotional. Do you know what she's mador sad about?

[Vasillilaw]

Because girls like to be talked to, not talked at. Instead of telling her what to do you should ask her why she's upset and try to help her.

[RockyHorror]

You should never tell a girl to calm down, it only antagonizes them. Just let her express herself, & try to listen to her. If she is upset, there is a reason for it, & you need to hear her out.