Did I make a mistake sleeping with him on the second date?

So I have gone out to dinner with a guy twice in the last 2 weeks. The first night we met, it was at a bar and we hung out at his house after. He didn't even try to hook up with me or anything. We just stayed up all night talking (til like 6 am). The next day he took me out to an expensive dinner, but tried to sleep with me that night. I declined.

He then went away for one week for vacation and texted me every day while he was away. When he got home, we went out to a dinner a second time and we slept together (which I'm not sure if that was a mistake to move that quickly...?) The whole time during sex he made eye contact with me and kissed me. The next day he and I went to the store all day to shop for things, we went to a coffee cafe and talked (more get to know you questions), and we went out to dinner and then watched movies. We spent literally the whole day together. We had a little discussion about the sex because he asked what it was about him that made me break my streak of not having sex. I said previously that I hadn't been with someone for almost 2 years, but I felt comfortable with him and that's why I did it, and that I normally (obviously) don't do that.

The next day he didn't text me all day until like 5pm and went out to dinner again. When we were cuddling on the bed after watching a movie and having sex again, he said "is it possible that we have way too much chemistry?" and when I asked what he meant by that normally when a girl would make a joke during sex like I did he would be put off by it, but for some reason it doesn't feel awkward to him, and then we fell asleep with him arms around me.

Basically, did I make a mistake sleeping with him so soon? Even though I clearly don't just sleep around. And second, does it sound like he is just looking for sex or maybe something more?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I did the same thing with my boyfriend. I'm not the type to do that kind of thing either, but in some ways it sort of validated our feelings I guess. I knew after our first date that I was in love, and so did he. (We didn't express that to each other for a while though) I've never been the type to believe in "love at first sight" or "soulmates", but now I absolutely do. On our second date, he actually made me dinner at his house, and I was a little apprehensive about it. Things started getting physical really quick, but we both backed down. We had a discussion about how we should wait until we were ready... we were ready about 2 hours later. It opened up a lot of discussion for us. Neither of us normally sleep with someone on the first date, or even within the first couple of months. And this wasn't just casual sex either... it was really amazing, loving sex. And we've been together almost a year! If it felt right, don't regret it. It sounds like he is really into you, and it may have been the right move for you guys.


What Guys Said 3

  • I think he is looking for more then sex.Usually when people are looking for sex they won't call you or text you and will ignore you when you text them.They will spend as little time with you as they can and they won't take you to dinner.They won't talk to you all night.I really think he loves you,but just take it as it comes its really to soon to say.Dont get too emotional until you know for sure or you will just get hurt.He was probably just busy at work or something so that's why he didn't text you till later and sometimes if you spend all day texting someone when you go to see them you won't have anything to talk about.I always hear that sex too soon ruins relationships,but all the girls I have been with all they wanted was sex and I can tell you nothing more then one night stands ever came of it.Its not what I wanted,it was always their choice to have sex and then ignore me afterward LOL.I think if the person is normal and not screwed in the head it won't matter how soon you have sex.To me it sounds kind romantic,what you guys did.And I love to cuddle.Usually people that are just looking for sex won't cuddle or they leave right after they won't spend the night with you.You could also just tell him you want to slow down with the sex and see what happens if he wants more he will continue to come see you and spend time with you.Give him a chance and see what happens,just don't get to emotionally involved too soon.Being hurt sux more then being alone!

  • you're fine

  • I hear girls saying they sleep with a guy early on and say they normally don't do that. Is that to be believed? I hear it quite often, and I've always assumed that it is an excuse that girls throw out there because they are worried about this exact situation. How many times is it the actual truth?

    And to answer your question: I don't know. It depends on the guy. It depends on the near future. There's now way of knowing, and there's no way to undo what you've done, so just take it as it comes.

    • Thanks! And actually, girls will say they don't sleep around or "don't normally do this on the first date" for multiple reasons. One of them is what you are saying: they are worried about this situation and don't want to appear as a slut, etc. etc. even though they actually do sleep around. The other possibility, which applies to me, is that girls say it truthfully. I hadn't slept with someone in almost 2 full years before this guy. I had opportunities to do it, but I just didn't.

What Girls Said 4

  • I was in a similar situation (we met at a bar, talked all night, the first date we mostly just talked, then made out at the end, but I ended up sleeping with him on the second date, then we cuddled all night), and he ended up asking me on a third date, over the course of which he showed me that he wasn't just in it for sex. Our fourth date will be on Friday, and I'm super excited. So don't panic, it's probably no big deal. That being said, every guy's different. Some guys just see it as having good chemistry, like you said... But in the meantime, don't stress about something that's out of your hands. Personally, I think that if he's willing to spend all day talking to you, and enjoying your company on more than just a sexual level, then that's a good sign that he's not just in it for the sex. Then again, he's a man. Who knows?! Only time will tell! Just try not to get too obsessively worried about it! Good luck :)

  • it sounds like he is looking for more as he did text you everyday for a week. so he was a little late texting you one day..you went out to dinner with him after that happened so it's not like he was trying to ignore you!

  • Something like this happened to me. It just got weird after a week actually. I tend to see it as a bad sign after that, but I think it depends on what kind of person you are.

    • What do you mean it got weird?

    • Funny story, so he dropped the L word, talked about things months in the future. All of it sounded like let's get married and have kids kind of thing. I tried to break it off and things got scary worse and he told me he was going to commit suicide... He is on heavy medication now.