Do shy guys avoid girls they like? Why?

[Anonymous]

Thought this shy guy liked me at the gym (staring then looking away, seeming to always be there at the same time, trying to be near me). He's kinda awkward but hot so he made me feel awkward so I never really showed much interest because I didn't think he liked me enough.

Then all of a sudden he's never around the same time/days anymore which I thought would be a coincidence but feels like avoidance because I think he thinks I don't like him and now it's as though he doesn't want to see me.

I know he's super shy and a loner at the gym whereas I'm quite social and would speak to anyone but him I couldn't even smile or look at him in the eye! His body language and shyness totally made me feel uneasy.

So am I being paranoid or is this the truth, shy guys avoid girls they like. How do I show interest if I ever see him again?

[Anonymous]

You just talk to him a bit and ask him for his number. If he's shy he might act uninterested and closed off, but that's just because he doesn't want to creep you out, especially since he sees you in the gym (lots of women complain about creeps in the gym, he just doesn't want to be that guy). He probably gets close to you so you'll talk to him.

I remember a few years ago I was walking down the street after the gym with a tank top on and this group of girls was around the corner. One of them shouted that her mate fancied me, but I completely ignored them because I didn't know what to say to them, and I thought I'd make an idiot of myself. They followed me til I was nearly home (only about 2 minutes away) and one of them caught up with me and asked me if she could have my number, that she was a really nice girl etc. and she was nice looking too. I gave her my number but I know I was still standoffish even then, even though inside I was actually really excited. We went on a couple of dates and it didn't work out, but my point is that I only acted that way out of shyness and fear of making myself look like an idiot, even though I was very interested in getting her number and dating her.

If you do approach him you'll probably have to make it very obvious that you like him, tell him straight. Shy guys are often bad at reading social cues, that's why they're shy and afraid they'll make themselves look like idiots.

[Asker]

But if he's avoiding me it's quite hard :( Yeah I agree I will try not to mess it up anymore ha!

[hardisonhacker]

Where do you want this to go? If you want to hopefully build up a relationship with this guy then the best thing you can do is introduce yourself and give him your number. Introducing yourself let him knows that you notice him and having your number is the outlet he needs to talk to you. I say that because its hard for shy guys to open up in person and just talk to people (without being frozen or saying something stupid) . Its a lot easier for us to be ourselves and open up in a text or online when we are not face to face. With that in mind when you talk to him you should keep it short and simple and you do all the talking. Once he has your number im sure it won't be long before he starts texting you more and more and starts opening up to you

[Asker]

I was planning on just smiling and saying hey, but he's never there when I am anymore lol, good idea though but what if he refused my number? It's hard to exchange numbers at the gym until I've got to speak to him a lot more.

[hardisonhacker]

you should just ask around (maybe the manager) and try to see if any one else knows when he is coming in and catch him then. You should also put your number on a card or something. If he is really shy he definitely might say no when in his heart he really wants to talk to you. If you give him the card though i think it will be easier for him to just take the card and text you later then to just talk to you right their in person. If he says no then just make sure he keeps the card and give him some space. im sure he will definitely text your or something though

[Asker]

Way too scared to just give him my number, but I get what you're saying ahhhh this is hard!!

[hardisonhacker]

just sleep on it and take your time. you can't rush it

[annoymouss]

I'm in the same kind of situation now. I think with shy guys it takes them longer to feel open towards you. He's probably unsure what to do with he feels so acts strangely

[Asker]

Boo I feel your pain.

[Jared216]

I am sort of shy, but if I am crushing on some one, it is a rush to be around then, it's sort of like standing up in front of a bunch of people except it's one person and my heart pounds in a different way, and my head swims, I get a little bit clumsy and have trouble choosing my words.

... and so if somebody makes me feel that way, and, I am not up to feeling that way, I may avoid them, not cause I don't like them, just because sometimes if feels to much to bare.
It is disorientating and physically a rush for me.

[Asker]

This is awful I don't want to make him feel that way, how can I help him feel more comfortable around me?

[Jared216]

It's a good thing, it's just really powerful, also it could be just me.
It somewhat comes from an uncertainty of "where this going" you don't want to make a move because you are afraid you will "lose ground".
I get all in my head like, oh crap, I really like this person, oh crap, I want the to like me REALLY REALLY bad, oh crap, what do I do.
I have something to do to make myself useful it is less, if I fit into a situation in a certain context it's less, like a group of people setting up a camp site.
The worst is when nothing is happening and nothing is being said and just sitting beside this person I am crushing on in silence.
Tell him you like being around him. Smile. Do an activity to occupy an over active mind.
I don't know... best of luck, I still am dealing with this, I really like it though, I am glad I can have these feelings.

[Asker]

Yeah I get what you mean thanks, it's so difficult when I never see him though :(. Smiling and acknowledging him seems the best bet.

[Asker]

Ok saw him talk and tried to smile and give eye contact but he wouldn't look at me in the eye! Why is this?

[Asker]

*today not talk

[Jared216]

Me personally, I have trouble with eye contact and controlling the volume of my voice, it's to easy to look down and to hard to speak softly.
hmmmmm, ummmm,
Try say "Don't be afraid, I like you."
Again, not real sure, I am still dealing with this one myself.

[ForReal]

Wow! Are you just curious because he's hot? It sounds like to me that once that hotness factor wears off, you might have your regrets. Are you sure he's not a creeper. Most people who have any amount of hotness are rarely that shy unless he's 14 or something. Be careful, just cause he's hot doesn't mean he's normal. If he is that shy and he's normal, be prepared for a relationship/friendship full of insecurities.

[Asker]

I think he's cute doesn't really mean others will think so tbh. I only noticed him because he used to stare at me which made me think yeah he's kinda hot lol.

[ForReal]

I don't want you to think I think shy people are creepers just because they stare at you. I have no doubt you are very worthy of being stared at. I just wanted you to be careful I guess, even though I dint know you, lol. To be fair I'm not particularly shy, so I shouldn't have even joined the conversation. I do know shy people though and I know it's hard for them, I just want to tell them that nobody is paying so much attention to them that they can't just go out and have fun. But people are who they are and I love them all.

[Asker]

Careful of what?

[ForReal]

Just in case he was a creeper and I'm not saying he is. I'm sure it's a lot different for you girls, you are probably so used to being stared at, it doesn't phase you. When you said he was staring at you and trying to be around you yet wouldn't talk to you, I had visions of some kind of stalker/ slasher movie go through my head. But I'm a guy and I don't have the problem of women staring at me endlessly. If a woman stares at me the first thing I do is check a mirror to make sure I'm not wearing that mornings breakfast. I realize I've been absolutely no help here and I'm sorry.

[Asker]

Haha! But you're funny so it's ok. No I don't think he's a creeper, I think I've totally scared him made him not like me to go to all costs to avoid me now!

[ForReal]

Believe me, if he was once interested, he's still interested. If you see him, go out of your way to make eye contact and even go up and say hi, because I don't think he is likely to make the first move. You've got all the power, he'll be putty in your hands, lol. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks! Just need to see him and make an opportunity for ourselves!

[Asker]

Ok saw him today and tried to smile and give eye contact but he wouldn't look at me in the eye! Why is this?

[Anonymous]

I'm relatively shy. I'm gun-shy, have a hard time meeting new people but have no problem once I meet them (assuming they're being engaging). I like this one girl right now but have not seen her for 3 months, for a couple of reasons. Maybe it's because I'm shy, but it's not like I'm shy around her (I suppose I am, not really sure) but I've been avoiding her because one time when I saw her, she winked at me and I guess, from what I've heard is that means she's either sexually attracted to me, or just being friendly, ever since then, I've been kind of nervous to talk to her, because I feel like she's now judging my every move

[Asker]

Oh dear, you should try talking to her if you can. Ok I did see the guy at the gym today I tried to give him eye contact and smile but he wouldn't look at me in the eye. Also it's probably nothing but in a empty car park lets saw 20 cars max, he parked his car next to mine which I thought was odd (we both know each others car) I want to tell him I like him but don't know how to without scaring him because his shyness is awkward!

[Opinion Owner]

Shy guys just want to know that you're not judging him. Even if you are, we want to know you're not because shyness comes from insecurity and jealousy. If you can find a way to get him to know that you're not judging him, then do that. You could go the direct route and say it, but, he may not believe you. Best to show him

[Opinion Owner]

Why do you say I should talk to her?

[Asker]

Talk to her because you said you liked her, so why not so interest in her?

[Opinion Owner]

Also, if he's parking his car next to yours, he likes you. I wouldn't do that if I didn't like a girl (didn't remember the type of car she drives). If we're remembering things like that, he's def. in to you.

Yes, I said I liked her, but that doesn't mean I should talk to her. I like a lot of women, but a lot of them already have boyfriends. I'm going to respect that, as much as I can. The one I actually like, doesn't but I'm still too nervous to do it, ever since she did that

[Asker]

See one minute I think he likes me the next I think he hates me, he gives off awkward vibes!
I agree with what you're saying, but everyone gets nervous and always remember this-most girls won't ask out guys they want to be chased and wooed. Most girls are stereotypical we want the guy to make the first move it shows confidence and masculinity.

[Opinion Owner]

Asking a girl out isn't masculinity nor confidence, it's an outdated idea

[Asker]

I'm just telling you how most girls just view that idea, not all but most, which yes you're shy and nervous but you being like that and girls thinking that way-nothing will ever happen.

[Opinion Owner]

So you have to ask yourself... is it worth going after a guy, who may never do anything about it. Are you more current about being able to ask him out instead. If not, then maybe it's time to move on

[Asker]

No I'm more than happy to engage in some form of communication with him if I get the opportunity to find the right time to chat to him at the gym. It is rather difficult with his closed off body language which makes it hard to talk to him-that's the issue tbh.

[Opinion Owner]

I will, on occasion, fold my arms without realizing it. Once I realize I am, I'll unfold them. He may just be doing it out of habit. Try engaging him and see what happens (that's what it all comes down to is, can you approach him/why does it always have to be the guy approaching the girl). You can't say "because it's not outdated", because it is. Tons of women approach men these days. I'm saying, why aren't you/haven't you

[Asker]

I will! I just need to find something to talk about, he seems lovely and very shy so I want to make him feel comfortable around me, ATM he seems scared or intimidated by me lol that's why I haven't don't want him running away out of fear lol.

[Opinion Owner]

You could compliment him, since you're at the gym BUT be careful. Like with women, men don't want creepy comments. A good compliment/joke you could make is "working hard, or hardly working?" lol. The best thing to do when breaking the ice, is making a small joke (be careful again though as you don't know his humor, nor does he know yours). All it really takes is a "hey, how's it going?" (but I've always found that kind of boring).

[Asker]

Thanks for the help! Good luck to you too!

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks, can I add you?

[Shyguy_1988]

Not necessarily. He could have a change in his schedule though and you really have nothing to do with it. I'm the same way at my gym, shy loner type, sure there are attractive girls I'll glance at from time to time, ones I see regularly but won't be rude about it and stare. However if there was a change in my schedule, I wouldn't mind, not like I base my time around girls I never met because I find them attractive, if that makes sense.

[Asker]

Yes but he always would come to the gym dressed from work clothes then change and his work clothes were a formal suit and time. I don't think his time schedule changed that much tbh based on how long he used and regularly come. I get what you're saying though. Since your name is shyguy how could a girl at the gym show interest to you? without making you feel shyer?

[Asker]

*tie

[Shyguy_1988]

Well, actually if a girl had the courage to come up to me and say something I'd admire that. I may be a bit shy and caught off guard but it will make approaching said girl much more easy now that we're acquaintances if that makes sense. I'm a bit reserved and it just takes me a bit to warm up to people I don't no.

[Asker]

Yeah that makes sense, thanks.

[doctorwhofan23]

I would avoid girls I like simply because I am shy and the thought that no matter how much I like her I will never be good enough for her is on my mind. For me it is really hard to want to show interest in a girl for fear she will not like me. I will kind of look at a girl but that is the extent of which I can do.

[Asker]

How would you like a girl to show interest?

[doctorwhofan23]

Pretty much by making the first move and talking to me. I am shy not rude if a girl talked to me I'd have a conversation.

[Asker]

But because he seems to be avoiding me I can't ever seem to catch him at the gym anymore :(. He seems to have sussed out my timetable to not ever go at the same time you see.

[doctorwhofan23]

Maybe change the time you go to try and catch him, honetly though if I did not see interest from a girl for a bit I'd pretty much assume she oes not like me.

[Asker]

Ah it's hard because of work :( boo have I ruined my chances do you think.

[doctorwhofan23]

Honestly if he went to the point of avoiding you he probbly has given up on any hope you like him.

[Asker]

Exactly I either intimidate him or he hates me, but I haven't done anything to get him to hate me.

[doctorwhofan23]

Girls I like intimidate me.

[Asker]

That's really frustrating because its a vicious cycle of no one talking to no one even though they want to!

[doctorwhofan23]

I understand lol, I am sure I missed out on a girl who liked me.

[Asker]

Next time go and get them, let my story be incentive to do so-the girl probably wanted you to talk to her so bad!

[doctorwhofan23]

I will try if I can it will be very hard though.

[genericname85]

Even a shy guy would try to get at least somewhat close... Maybe he wouldn't make a move but he would try to keep being in range. He would only avoid to make it obvious to her.

[Asker]

I don't get what you mean, avoid to make it obvious?

[genericname85]

No. Avoiding to make it obvious to her, when they try to get closer

[Asker]

I'm sorry I still don't understand, he's trying to avoid me to make it obvious that he's avoiding?

[genericname85]

No the opposite. Trying to get close without you taking note of it.

[Asker]

Ah I see, well no he hasn't done that :/

[genericname85]

Or he did it so good, you didn't recognise it ;) why don't you speaking to him casually?

[Asker]

Quite difficult at the gym when everyone is busy working out, timing is key and I keep on messing it up.

[genericname85]

My theory about timing is: you can't mess up, if the other one is generally interested.

[TuxedoMask]

Smile and say something funny. Or be yourself. Strike up a conversation. Guarantee you he likes you, just that he's wicked nervous.

[Asker]

It's so hard, his shyness makes me feel uneasy around him-he gives off weird vibes.

[TheEnding]

I'm pretty shy, but if I liked someone, I would be enthusiastic about going and seeing and being near the girl. Even if we didn't talk. It was like that with pretty much all of my crushes.

[Asker]

So do you think this guy doesn't like me? I don't even know anymore!

[TheEnding]

I think he does, it's just that maybe you gave him the wrong signal accidentally or he stared too long at you and now feels awkward. If he feels awkward or thinks you think he's weird, he won't want to be near you.

[Asker]

Yeah I definitely gave him the wrong signal, I kinda freaked out because he made me feel awkward because of his shyness, does that make sense. He gives off the vibe he likes and dislikes me at the same time which left me confused and apprehensive.

[TheEnding]

Yeah, I hear you. It's not really your fault. Just sucks it had to happen that way. Maybe you'll see him again. And if you do, I pray that you guys talk, because it's depressing hearing about this kind of thing.

[Asker]

Ah thank you,, that's a lovely thing to say. I would get my gym friends involved but I don't want to make him run and hide forever haha!

[TheEnding]

Lol no gym friends, no gym friends

[Asker]

Haha! Thought not! Thought they could break the ice for us lol bad idea?

[TheEnding]

Oh, you mean like meeting as a group? Interesting idea, I'm not too sure about it. He's already shy, and it might be weird to add more people to the equation. But then on the other hand it's might make things feel less strained if it's not just him and you talking. It could work, but I think just talking to him is the safer option.

[Asker]

Like I was going to get one of my guy gym friends to talk to him and see what he's like then magically I'd appear to join in their conversation. But this is only going to work if my guy friend agrees and I'm not sure if he's upto it.

[TheEnding]

Sounds good to me. I really wonder what your guy friend would think though

[Asker]

Exactly I don't want to put him in an awkward situation either, so prob best left to me. Now only have to try and see him! Task is hard

[TheEnding]

It is, but I believe in you :)

[Asker]

Thank you for your support, I really need it!

[Asker]

Ok saw him today and tried to smile and give eye contact but he wouldn't look at me in the eye! Why is this?

[TheEnding]

Because he's shy lol. Or he's not interested anymore. Or maybe something's going on with him? I don't know, it's all guesswork until at this point. Only way to know is to talk to him and see what's up because it seems like he won't talk to you.

[Asker]

Rather difficult to just start talking to him especially if he doesn't give eye contact :/ and if he doesn't make the effort to talk to me, then I'm not too sure that I should bother talking to him.

[TheEnding]

Yeah it's up to you. If he won't even look at you then maybe you should just let it go. Even I'm not that shy. But tell me if he ends up saying something though. I'm invested in the situation now lol.

[Asker]

Haha! Thanks is it that entertaining? Also not sure this means anything but in an empty car park say about 20 cars he parked his car next to mine after I had went to the gym, which I did find odd. I will keep you posted if anything happens, if ever but don't hold your breath.

[Strider90]

I don't think that he's trying to avoid you. there must have been something else. Shyness is not the reason. Im a shy guys too.

[Asker]

Well I saw him today and tried to smile and give eye contact but he wouldn't look at me in the eye. Why was this?

[Strider90]

Being shy and not look someone in the eyes is normal.

[Asker]

So how do I show interest if he doesn't look at me?

[Anonymous]

Yes shy guys will avoid girls 'if' they feel the girl isn't showing interest back. You must've gave him some 'you're a weirdo' vibes and that probably scared him off.

[Asker]

No at first I didn't show interest back because he used to stare for ages which was kinda weird and because he never spoke to me I didn't feel he liked me enough. It's just a case of bad timings and missed opportunities and now he's avoiding me :/

[Opinion Owner]

You not giving him signs will make him doubt you like him so that will make him avoid you as well. Next time you see him around, try smiling at him when he glances at you.

[Asker]

Yeah that's my plan if I ever see him :(

[Opinion Owner]

Lol. Yea you definitely should do that.

[Asker]

Ok saw him today and tried to smile and give eye contact but he wouldn't look at me in the eye! Why is this?

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you tried to force it? If you did so it may have came off a bit strange and so caused him to avoid eye contact.

When you smile it should come off as natural and not forced.

[Asker]

I don't know he seems too scared to look at me, and seems to avoid at all cost to be near me like I intimidate him or something? I don't know :/

[Opinion Owner]

How old are you two?
Maybe he's very shy. Social anxiety can cause him to act that way without a doubt.

[Asker]

Mid twenties, I don't think age has much to do with it tbh a shy person is shy regardless their age. I don't know maybe its just not meant to be :/

[Opinion Owner]

Hahah. Yea age probably doesn't make much of a difference.

Don't give up yet. For all we know he may have a huge thing for you also haha.

[Asker]

Haha! well if he does he has a pretty bizarre way of showing it, the only thing he did was park his car next to mine even though the car park was empty, that anything?

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely. I know this because i do some odd things when i like a girl also lol.

And yea it could be something. Does he do it often?

[Asker]

Well no (haven't seen him in over a week) but today the car park was empty so he could've parked anywhere but he got in after me so as I was leaving and saw his car next to mine I was thinking is this supposed to be a message or something? I don't know again I could be reading way too much into it. But you never know he's rather strange!

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm, yes it could be. Sometimes guys have strange ways of showing interest lol. Try not to read too much into it also just in case because you don't want to be wrong haha. What weird things does he do?(trying to get an idea of how he is)

[Asker]

Came next to me on the treadmill when most of the other treadmills were empty. He's a loner at the gym doesn't talk to anyone goes and leaves on his own- not sociable, hence why it's so hard to talk to him, does give inviting signals to anyone.

[Asker]

*Doesn't

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Well, he definitely seems reserved. And the stuff he does seems like something i would do if i was interested in someone. He may find you cute/attractive.

[Anonymous]

Because they are shy?

Why did a girl who acted shy around me and gave me all the signs she liked me reject me? Who knows, it happens.

Also who says he is interested in you?

[Asker]

Signs at the beginning showed his somewhat interest but now not so much, so yeah I don't really know. It's just that now in hindsight I do quite like him and would want to speak to him but think I've messed up my chances boo! :(

[Opinion Owner]

You haven't messed anything up because there could be an infinite number of reasons he's no longer at the gym the same time you are.

[Asker]

I mean as in I get the feeling he is avoiding me. But I get where you're coming from!

[Opinion Owner]

He may not ber avoiding you, maybe something has happened in his life which means he cannot be in the gym at the same time he usually is. You don't know for a fact that he's avoiding you.

[Anonymous]

its pretty common they do, just because a guy does not ask you out or approach you does not mean he's not into you

[Phoenix98]

No I never avoid wether I like them or not.