Why do I still miss my ex boyfriend?

so much after 3 months of break up? I'm feeling very sad and down today, I don't know why, the thought of my ex keeping coming to my head, I can't seem to shake it off. It has been 3 months since he broke up with me. We were together for 7 years, I've tried almost everything to block the thought of him, I went out shopping, watched tv, listened to music, walked/played with my dog, talked to friends, etc... no help... I'm just not in the mood of doing anything tody, I don't feel like talking to anyone... I've tried so hard to think of all the reasons why he wasn't good for me...

I thought I've been doing ok lately, although I still think of him everyday, but today the feeling of missing him so much is unbearable, I have the urge of contacting him... but I know I can't.

Please help me ! How can I shake off the thought of him ? Why am I feeling this way ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know exactly how you feel. I just got dumped 3 months ago after a 6 year relationship. It seems like the pain doesn't go away, I keep having dreams of us being together and when I wake up and realize it's just a dream the pain just gets worse. I try to go out with my friends but I keep seeing couples together having fun and I can't get her off my mind. I tried talking to a girl at a club and we started dancing and grinding I had to stop because it felt wrong. I really want to get back together but I don't know how.

    • I'm in the same situation, I really want to get back together with my ex boyfriend cause I still love him very much, and I know that he still has feelings for me. The thought of losing him is so unbearable, I'm not just losing the love of my life, I'm also losing a best friend. I find it I miss him the most when I'm alone, and on the weekend, I don't know why ? yes, when I see couples together, it just trigger the thought of my ex.....that's why sometimes I hate to go out.....

    • Show All
    • He was hurt when you initiated the breakup, if you have already told him you want to work it out there is not much more you can do.

    • I know there is nothing I can do, that's sucks !!! Since I saw what he said in his blog, I'm kinda wanting to send him a email or text to say how ya doing ? I want to let him know that I still care for him..... but I don't know if I should, the thought of being rejected and disappointment is no fun at.

What Guys Said 8

  • That sucks. I remember the first girl I actually really liked, she was like my 3rd girlfriend and I still miss her for the past 4 months. Like I really really liked her we would talk everyday for like 4 hours and we wold txt each other until we both fell asleep. We hooked up many times and we were really into each other. And her friends loved me. Like we knew everything about each other: best friends, favorite food, favorite subject, camps, and old relationships. Everyhitng was good and I bought her a necklace for the 4 month anniversity and when I gave to her she broke down crying saying she couldn't go out with me anymore and I still don't know an exact reason. I didn't do anything wrong, well not that I know of atleast. And now were 'just' friends but I can't still get over her. I dream of her some nights and miss her touch. And the 'just friends' part is horrible she rarely talks 2 me. I txt her like once every month or so but now she doesn't even respond to that.

  • hi, I see you wrote this 4 months ago, how are you feeling now? I hope much better...whats your update?

  • The pain is always worse when you are the person who's broken up with! That's just how it works.

    Its a strange phenomena, but apparently when someone is left, their brain continues to love,

    even stronger than before. Are the feelings you have now, STRONGER than the ones when you were with him>?

    So what do you do? You need to work on your life, have goals, travel, etc. Go back to college. Anything. This will help greatly. Eventually you WILL meet someone special.

    I had my heart broken, and was devastated for years. But the truth was, that I was not happy in the relationship anyway. Somehow, when she left me, I felt I would have done anything to get he back. I eventually got out of this mode, after 3 years, and met someone much BETTER, we get along great, and I feel like I'm so much better at this relationship stuff than before.

    I;m even a better lover!

    So don't despair, you'll meet someone else, and learn what to do and not do to keep the relationship healthy and fun.

    Eks pain

  • You have to ask yourself if you really want to move on in the first place. I won't ever again allow anyone to ever get close enough to me to make me feel how you feel right now for this very reason. It's just too damn hard on a person. We don't know how to treat each other anymore and we have all these crazy distractions around us that make it impossible for people to ever really be content with each other. We are sold in advertising, television, and magazines to always sleep wth one eye open always looking to the horizon for someone better. Better better, better. Now that there is a whole generation of people who bought into this, is it really hard for you to believe that you two broke up? This is my opinion and it's why I sleep good at night. We unlearned how to love and treat each other. We treat each other like crap and people in our lives are as disposable as pens and shaving razors. So why is this a suprise? Only time will help you. Or if you really want, try and work it out. With no struggle, there is no progress - Frederick Douglass.

  • It sounds like you don't want to shake off the thought of him, except that you said that at the end of your question. If you think about him so much, it would be easier to have a relationship with him than to not have one. If you ever contact him, or if he contacts you, just don't behave in a way that tells him you can't live without him because he will see you as vulnerable and needy, which no guy likes. Keep in mind we don't want someone who is completely controlling either. You should ask him sometime: If being just friends for a short time will bring us closer together, then I'm willing to try it. Then just sail back into dating relationship with him.

  • because you gotta get out and party hardy and forget about him




What Girls Said 11

  • Hunn..u have been wid him for 7 years! Of course ur still gonna miss him..3 months is nuthin..he will always b on ur mind..unfortunately..nd trust me..i noe that feeling of missin an ex..it IS unbearable..i'm going through it rite now!:(..i think that keeping yourself busy helps a lot..but sumetimes, that urge to talk to him is so strong that no matter what you do won't help..i don't know y you guys broke up..but if it's not over a horrible situation, then it's ok to contact him..jus ask him how he's doing and you want to remain frends..tell him you noe it will b hard and maybe even awkward at first..buh those feelings will eventually go..ask him if he's been seeing any1, and if he has..tell him you wish him and her well..(even if you don't)..hopee dis helped:)

  • After seven years the way you are feeling about him is completely normal. It's only been three months. Don't worry it's completely normal. It will take time to heal. In the meantime, cry when you need to, take a day for you, pamper yourself, work out (this helps a ton by the way), journal (if it helps you), hang out with friends. It's just how it is, things become habitual and you get used to having that person around. Now that it's gone it's like a chunk of you is gone. It will take a while to heal but don't worry it will.

  • me and my ex broke up 2 years ago we were together for 4 years and I still think about him everyday,it never ends but the difference is time time passes and you heal little by little but never completely I dated someone else after him and I fell inlove with this person but it never compared to my other relationship its just something you keep in mind life has experiences that you have to go through to make you the person you will be tomorow you can call him if you want there's nothing wrong with that you guys were together for 7 years you have all right to fight for your relationship.but dnt rush him it takes time and if he really loves you then you guys would deff get back together but keep in mind no matter how clishe it sounds not everything is meant to be not even a 7 year relationship she if it is meant to be let it be.who knows the problem that you to had that caused the break up might be the one thing that you can say made the relationship stronger,but if you know that it was something that he did or you did that is unforgiveable then you should deff start the healing process,

    remember it takes time and if you to never get back together am sure there are things in the relationship that when you do find someone else you know what not to do.

    i dnt get us females most of the times we're the ones that want to leave and when the men agree we're mad at them for not taking us back.

    i have done this so many times I never do the breaking up I always allow the guy to say its not working out at least I know I tried till the end.

  • I think it's normal because of how long you knew him, the fact you guys are also best friends and the fact that you actually do love him. If you didn't, you'd get over him. I have to say- at least you have a heart. I hope you are doing better now.I don't know since it's been over 7 months ago. I lost my ex as well but I initiated that we no longer be friends because of stupid things such as girls. I don't like the fact that someone I love will be talking to girls again since he's single and yet he still loves me and dates me. How long have you been in no contact? I do wish you the best though. It's been a year and I'm not over my ex but I only have been with him for a year. He's my first real love though because I cannot stop thinking about him everyday. =( I wish he would call me and ask me back as I said my feelings for him but he hasn't.

  • 7 years is a long time and will take longer to heal but time does heal wounds and you will get over him.Just give yourself some space and when you start to feel better go out and socialize and maybe you'll meet someone great.Hope that helped considering this happened four months ago.

  • You are feeling this way because for 7yrs.. it was not just u... it was you and somebody else. now that it is just you... you need to focus on yourself esteem. you need to know and belileve that you are and amazing person and you do not need someone else to make you feel that way... I garenteen the molment that you start beliving in yourself more and doing more to grow as an individual, missing your Boyfriend will not be an issue anymore... there are many men on this planet and if that one did not work out you are more then likely find another that will NOT make you feel the way you are feeling right now. I know that break ups are hard but you should also b greatful in a sense that somewhere there is a guy that will make you even more happy then this one ever did... BUT BE SURE TO FOCE ON YOURSELF FIRST! the molment that you feel strong and independent is the molment that you will not miss that guy. Good Luck, I hope that you feel better


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  • Hey, I understand completely what you are going through. I was with my ex for 4 years and we broke up about 5 months ago now. I know it's tough but it will get easier, you just need time. There are some good websites on getting over someone :) but I know ventually you'll feel like your healing and stronger, and suddenly it may be a few days or a week since you thought about it all- party hard when this happens :). Concentrate on yourself now, and if you start thinking of memories together, try and switch your thoughts to why it wasn't going to work and what was bad about him. If that list is short then unfortunately sometimes these things happen unexpectably and perhaps weren't meant to be no matter how blindsided by love we were! A mate of mine always says "we can't choose what happens to us in life but we can choose how we react! " Keep strong and best wishes.