Do women think degrees/careers make them more attractive in dating?

[Anonymous]

So, I'm curious. I've heard some things, apparently a lot of women with advanced degrees/great careers feel that it should make them more attractive in dating.

Oh, and let's keep it within the 20-30 age group. Also, we're assuming that the men are not ghetto losers, the men in question have bachelor's degrees and either have a decent job or plan to get a good job very soon. (a good job being one that lets you have a nice apartment and drive a nice car, like a 5 year old dodge charger.)

So I'm curious. Women--let's say you're dating. You met some guy who roughly matches description above, he asked for your number, you're meeting him for coffee. Do you think having a masters/phd/high stress-high pay career will make you a more attractive romantic partner? No difference? Or less attractive?

Men--let's say you met some woman, got her number, and are now on a date. She says that she's got a masters/phd/is very focused and proud of her career.

Does that make you more attracted to her?

Does that make no difference, as long as she's cute and sweet enough personality you already like her?

Or would that turn you off because you think she will be more arrogant/career focused/high maintenance?

Personally, I don't think a woman having a degree showing she's highly intelligent does anything for most men.

Most men would much prefer a smart woman over a ditzy one--but I think men define smart differently than women. A woman friend of mine is just a hairdresser, and she's sharp, funny, witty.

Kind of like Big Bang Theory. Which do you think is more attractive to a man with decent success--Penny smart (not educated, but funny, sharp, and witty as hell) or Bernadet smart (less personality but a PHD/Masters degree.)

Honestly, I think Penny has mastered how to be attractive as a date, lmao. link

I'm a woman and I think degrees/career makes me more attractive for romance.

I'm a woman and I think it doesn't make much difference.

I'm a guy and I would be more attracted to a woman with a masters/phd/good career.

I'm a man and a degree/career doesn't make a difference as long as she's attractive enough and good personality.

I'm a man and I'd rather she not have an advanced degree or be career focused.

Updates

+1 y

So, with 30 votes from women and 25 votes from men, with women voting at a 2 to one ratio that a degree doesn't make much of a difference in dating, and a tally of 19 to 6 men who don't care or don't want her to have an advanced degree.


So majority of men and women feel that a woman having an advanced degree makes no difference in dating, with a strong minority of women feeling that having an advanced degree makes her more attractive.

[acka72]

Many respectable men care whether or not their girlfriend has an education and a stable job. However, I think that, that is not a priority for guys when searching for a future girlfriend or wife. Many women are mistaken and many feel entitled to a great guy just because they are Smart PhD's so they don't worry about developing the attributes that men do care about. Like the ability to keep your legs shut with your coworkers and reserving sexual privileges to your boyfriend or husband. The ability to empathise with people (hence she will be able to empathise with her kids and husband) which means that she is not in a one hour rant monologue about herself and her life and how wonderful she is while the guys lids are drooping counting the seconds to when he finally gets laid with her. That she is emotionally available and capable of loving him and not just getting him tied down into something when she isn't being honest.

With regards to intellect and humor, most guys are terrified of a witty sarcastic chick. One thing I've learned the hard way... however when the guy's IQ is up the roof I´ve noticed that they fall in love with girls like that... otherwise they will laugh appreciate her but then it won't be very likely that they'll ask her out.

As a woman its better to be a dumb fox. The guy your dating has to feel like he is the funny, strong and smart one. You have to juggle your accomplishments in such a way that the guy feels delighted that such an intelligent and awesome woman finds him brilliant, funny and strong so much so that she revers his intelectual superiority. That is how I get away with being an elite golfer and business woman. The guy I'm dating is going crazy cause he feels responsible for my awesome golf skills. In reality, I already know what I'm doing but I give him the credit. Dude's eating out of my hand. Sad thing though, is that the true reason why I am into him, its cause he is Street smart and has the sweetest heart on earth but I already know that intellectually I'm better off.

I think that is another problem with these career women. They feel entitled to a smarter guy, but the truth is that smart men don't necessarilly need to date women who are equally smart or smarter. Which makes your dating pool really small. Sometimes, you have to take your head out of your ass, date a guy that is smart enough and compaitble and make him feel great. That's all you have to do.

[evenlift]

Wow, you really understand men.

The only thing that I disagree with is the idea that men are terrified of sarcastic chicks. We're not. We just find them annoying.

[Asker]

Okay, I have to ask something--men are terrified of a witty sarcastic chick? Seriously? I think something must be lost in translation. Mean-spirited and bitchy? Sure, men will avoid them. But witty and sarcastic, done right? Like Penny in Big Bang Theory? How is that not hilariously charming?

[bombdotcom]

probz BA

[acka72]

Sarcasm and irony, I agree it can be annoying if used against the person. Generally speaking guys like to be the funny ones. Maybe not terrified but intimidated.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Men say they don't care about things like this, but turn around and whine about gold diggers and women taking them for everything in divorces. If you are a man who has a good job and a nice lifestyle and you just pay attention to looks and charm, well then I hope that relationship lasts forever because if it doesn't just know that she will probably end up leaving with a nice chunk of a change. But a woman who already has her own nice lifestyle wouldn't need a man for money and wouldn't latch onto a guy for resources when she has the same thing herself.

That being said, most guys go for looks and personality. They care less about degrees. Degrees are something that you should do for yourself, not to impress a guy. I'm not as far in my education as I want to be, but when I am, I will be proud of my achievements because I know that I did it. Say that relationship didn't work out and he gets tired of taking care of me so he kicks me out of his nice apartment and don't have access to that nice car -- that's fine because I'll have MY OWN.

Most of the highly educated men that I know tend to marry women with similar values. They might have fun with the cute uneducated sweet girls but they rarely wife them.

[BrunetteNYC]

That's why lots of guys don't like girls with degrees... the uneducated ones can't survive without their paycheck so they feel needed and in control. Weak men need absolute control and that includes money. If you make money, you can live without them - they can't handle things being equal. Not all guys, but some are like that.

[Asker]

Hmm. Other reasons too, I think. link

[Tabra]

I am more about the person then their degrees and careers.

[Theguyoverthere]

"Men--let's say you met some woman, got her number, and are now on a date. She says that she's got a masters/phd/is very focused and proud of her career." ------

It's kinda like "That's nice" but really nothing else. At least she's paying her way and not mooching off of people. She's working and paying her own bills. Huge plus there. I only start getting turned off when she starts accusing men of being intimidated by her for having one.

"Does that make you more attracted to her?" ------

It depends on how she's mentioning these things. It's great if she's showing that she's not mooching off of people, however, I do question as to whether or not she may have a crapload of college debt and if the job she's got is really paying off.

"Does that make no difference, as long as she's cute and sweet enough personality you already like her?"----

It really comes down to her attitude. Like girls who won't shut the fuck up about their degree and keep saying "I don't need a man" are a turn off but if she's a sweet girl who is just doing her thing that's great.

"Or would that turn you off because you think she will be more arrogant/career focused/high maintenance?" ------

Well ironically a lot of girls with high income mess it all up by buying too much thus putting them in a worse situation than a middle class or low income person who is responsible. But yes if she's going on about her degree and flaunting it too much and is stupid enough to judge a guy for not having one she automatically goes into the "sex only" category for most men.

"Personally, I don't think a woman having a degree showing she's highly intelligent does anything for most men. "---

It is indeed a flaw both men and women have when they allow themselves to become really judgmental. It's largely because they now have a lot of debt to pay off and feel bad about how they've been scammed about our education system all these years when they're unemployed on monster.com and careerbuilder wondering why nobody gives a fuck about their degree.

[Anonymous]

Very interesting question. I'm looking forward to the responses.

I agree with you really. I'm not turned on by a degree or career per se, but I'm not turned off either. Being intelligent and knowledgeable about all kinds of things (sadly, often not synonymous with having a degree or a good career) does turn me on, however. Yet, many highly-educated women and career women have traits that turn me off, namely aggressiveness and the absence of feminine characteristics, like being caring and nurturing. This fact is I think what turns a lot of men off such women. Plus, men don't really benefit financially from a woman's wealth anyway: men are expected still to pay for dates and to be the main breadwinner.

I would add that being funny isn't in my view a necessary part of feminine charm, unlike masculine charm. Being funny isn't a turn-on for me, though not a turn-off either as long as it is genuinely funny. The problem is, many women think they're funny when actually they're not, and that is a turn-off. It's better not to try at all in my view.

[BrunetteNYC]

A degree has nothing to do with dating for women or attracting men. It's about money and security and possibly advancing in a chosen field. It means you understand the marketplace requires one to know what they expect to be paid for lol

Women view guys with degrees as smarter, so that's always making a guy more desirable in my book.

Anyway, men should realize that women are not always just ''career driven,' lots of girls were not. But then they married a loser who made a few kids and bailed, so they had NO CHOICE but to get educated to support themselves and those children lol

It's very strange to me how men are so intimidated and competitive when it comes to a girl who has some brains and understand reality - BILLS NEED TO BE PAID, PERIOD. It's not about making you feel like your d**k is 3 inches smaller if I got a degree, got it!

Lots of women could sit around and starve, live in welfare housing while waiting for Prince Charming to come along... would that be better and make her more appealing? The answer is, it's not very realistic.

And if any girl has to be less in order to guy to feel like he's more, NEXT!

[Asker]

Hmm. Agree and disagree. And given that you're not specifying if we're talking about women with Bachelor's degrees or masters or what, it's not as clear. Example: a woman with an associates degree in computer tech vs a woman with a masters in English.

Not all degrees are created equal, and a lot of majors are just varying degrees of uselessness.

[BrunetteNYC]

Again, education is about securing the ability to keep a roof over your head. Your chosen field will determine what sort of degree(s) need to be earned, period.

[bombdotcom]

No. Looks are the most important thing in attracting and keeping a man.

That said, this is the wrong site to discuss women and education with. I say this because most guys on here aren't highly educated and they don't prioritize education or careers. So they hide behind the family oriented nonsense.

Let me tell you, I live in an old money area. I also work at a fitness studio in the area and the women here are all highly educated and have multiple jobs. Not because they need to, but because those are the values instilled in them by their parents and it continues onto adulthood.

They're very much family oriented, but they've found a balance.

I DO think that many educated women are simply condescending and less attractive. They try to ride on being oh so smart but at the end of the day, NO ONE (male or female) wants to be around someone who corrects their every word or who is trying to convince themselves how strong and independent they are.

[bombdotcom]

But no, I don't think a degree makes me attractive. No one knows my major until I say what it is. But if I'm ugly to a guy, I'm ugly--a degree won't change that

[washize]

I don't believe it makes a difference. In most cases the living arrangements and relationship dynamics would dictate the compatibility and attractiveness of a woman with a degree.



A man who wants a stay at home wife, most likely isn't going to go after a woman with a degree, but if she leaves her job to be his wife, I don't believe he'd care.

A man who wants a working wife would most likely go after a woman with a career, he would probably prefer a woman with a degree, but it may not be a requirement.

A man who wants an educated wife, would most likely go after a woman with a degree, but if a woman was witty, articulate, and knowledgeable to his liking, a degree wouldn't matter.

In other words I believe the initial attraction and compatibility are more important than the degree.

[M_A_X]

I don't think there are a lot of women who have degrees that actually want to be stay at home wives, though.

[washize]

There are a number of educated women who quit their jobs to be stay at home moms. Some of them love it, some of them regret it, but it does happen often.

[honeedip87]

Being yourself is MOST attractive. If you naturally prefer to read than party then do that. If you naturally are more concerned with Wendy Williams and People magazine than your studies then let it be. Most people aren't all nerdy or all ditzy. and if they are it comes off weird ( I know a few of both... their are uncomfortable to be around).

RElationships have a natural balance of authority. Women have a certain kind of power where men have a different. So, if a man is turned off by your career or educational background then you are better off without. He obviously finds himself underqualified and you should find someone who can handle that. Also, don't look down on a man as a provider if he makes less money than you or has less education. Don't try to be the man in the relationship, you know?

[vmw2008]

It really depends on the man in question, and like you said, the other aspects of her personality. If she's an uptight brain with facts spewing out everywhere, but has no warmth or people skills, I doubt most guys will be attracted for her intelligence (unless maybe he's just like her). But, if she is personable and witty, but has the degree and job to go with it, I believe many guys will see that as a plus. The last few guys I've dated have said one of the main things they found attractive about me were that I was smart and ambitious. They liked that I had career goals in place, that I was a "nerd" who got good grades, and that I wasn't simply looking for a rich man to take care of me.

I can only speak for the small subset of guys I've been around though. I know for sure it wasn't just my degree or career that they found attractive, but most of them made a point to mention how much of a plus it was and how they'd wished girls from their past had been more ambitious.

[Svennedude]

I think it's because women prioritize men who are financially stable, career driven and ambitious and that that's their number one motive, they think that they have a one up and have to try less. The same thing applies to men who try to go to the gym, because a fit body is very important to a man, so they think that will give them points, simply because they think women find it as important as them. Basically what it comes down to is that both genders think the other gender finds the same things just as important, while in reality, both prioritize different things. That's not to say that men don't want to date career driven women, it's probably a plus to succesful men, but intimidating to normal guys. I think the poll speaks volumes of what men really think. I personally coudn't care less what job my future girlfriend/wife has, aslong as she will be a good mother to my children. A reason why I personally find career women unnattractive. A woman who prioritizes working over nurturing.

[vmw2008]

@Svennedude Everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course, but I think you're approaching this too black and white. You act like women only or mainly care about careers, and men only or mainly care about looks. However, a fit body on a man is very very important to me, too! I also have experience with men being more attracted/curious by me once finding out my career.

So, while i will agree with you that each gender has something that is most important to them, most of us want someone who "has it all," so to speak. So in your case, someone who doesn't work or isn't attached to a career is more attractive to you because your ideal woman would stay home. Not all men feel that way. Same goes for differences in opinion regarding looks.

To say that men only care about looks and don't care what a woman is doing with her life, or that women only want money and are blind, is far from the truth.

[heavensgift2girls]

I am family oriented. The last thing I want is a woman that is career oriented. We simply wouldn't be compatible. Educated women also tend to be more career oriented. So that would lead me to believe that we don't have similar life goals. So I would be less likely to pursue her unless I already knew her well enough to know that isn't the case.

[Anonymous]

You are correct, QA. Degrees/careers are not important to men because men do not look for partners to be breadwinners the way women do. It's just not what's important to us. In general today's women are pretty clueless about what men find attractive beyond physical appearance.

[Darkhocolate1001]

Agreed I believe only a handful of men care about a women's Degree/Career. Women just want good looking rich guys.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think that's always true to the extend some guys say. I don't think looks are as important to women as they are to men, and although most women would love to have a rich boyfriend or husband, most know that's not going to happen. But it's hard to deny that they are attracted to it. Guys...not so much.

[M_A_X]

I don't think looks are as important to men as you think.

[Anonymous]

I don't think many people (men or women) care that much about degrees/careers in themselves when it comes to relationships. Things that might be linked to degrees/careers matter to people, although how much that matters (or exists is) pretty individualistic. Some of these things may include: intelligence, wealth, similar values, similar experiences, broader worldview, prestige, common interests. These things can exist with or without a certain degree/career.

Honestly, I don't think either sex enjoys dating a career-oriented person, but more women will put up with it. Most people prefer a partner with a balanced lifestyle who is enjoyable to be around.

[TedStar]

it is unfortunate for women that men have so few standards. Most guys I know don't get excited by a womans education level once she gets that bachelors. Masters, phd only excites us when we have had the girl for a while. It does not add to a single womans attractiveness as a partner

most guys I know just want a girl to love us, feed us and fuck us. The extras only matter if the girl in questiom is already our girlfriend or wife

[bombdotcom]

It's not about men having so few standards. Most guys on here aren't career oriented themselves, nor are they highly educated. Birds of a feather flock together

[TedStar]

i&m talking about guys I personally know. We want our women to work, but once she has that undergraduate degree and has her income anything above that is a bonus that only matters if the woman is our girlfriend or wife. Once thw minimum earning potential has been reached all women are equal

[Prof_Don]

I do believe females on average believe that them having a college degree makes them a better mate.

The education is a nice side dish in terms of requirements for a female partner, but attractiveness and her "feminine factor" will always reign supreme.

[Darkhocolate1001]

So in other words if the guy is not a perfect 10 or close to it, and makes lots of money he's screwed. Oh look just like me.

[M_A_X]

No, Darkhocolate1001, that's more a result of too many women thinking their shit doesn't stink

[Prof_Don]

BTW I voted D

[confugirl]

In theory, it doesn't make much of a difference. But in practice, I'd say men would appreciate not having to work their ass off to support another person. I know guys like to provide and protect and so on, but I think it feels even better being able to afford things you couldn't afford if only one person had a good career.

[kimberlyxxx]

I observed educated guys prefer educated girls. And educated girls unless ugly hardly ever go for uneducated guys. They consider it dating down!

[Anonymous]

I just wanna be able to look and act mature as a business woman once I get my degree. (Formal, professional lady-like mannered woman). I don't think I would care much of the opposite sex's education, so long as I'm attracted to him and he's attracted to mee c:

[Prettygurl12]

I don't think about my degree like that at all. My degree is helping me get a good job so I can take care of myself without a man

[ohemgee]

no difference? I mean I just don't care if the guy would find it a plus or a turn off... if he is OK that I'm a "career woman" then good cause he can be my potential mate... if not, then we are not compatible. :)

[rotarymoon]

I voted C... but its not the degree itself. Stupid people can have degrees too. I am highly attracted to smart people with good (morally-sound) personality.

[Kelly34]

Makes no difference either way for me. I couldn't care less about a girls education/employment.

[DrewCali]

So you'd date an unemployed hoodrat?

[Kelly34]

Yes. So long as she met my other standards. Maybe its because I'm unemployed and lack qualifications myself.

[Anonymous]

i don't think it does..and that goes for men too..i think its gross when ugly old men hit on hot women because there rich or educated..

[QueenPolo]

That depends on the guy actually. Your poll proves it.

[Anonymous]

I do because than I know she isn't after my money