Is it ok for male and female friends to say "I love you" to each other?

I have male friend who went through some bad things in his life and decided that he needed to tell the people he cares about how he feels. I also love all my friends as I have few and cherish the ones I do have. We exchange I love you's when parting but have an absolutely platonic relationship in all other aspects. We have never even joked about having a relationship or anything beyond friendship. I don't understand why it is any different than telling my female friends I love you. My boyfriend has broken up with me over this.

Update: Is it ok for me to thank you guys and gals. :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • I call bullsh*t on this. Unless you are so insecure that you can't see the difference between platonic and romantic relationships, then there is no reason to get upset. People love their friends. People tell their friends. People display physical, non-erotic (or in some cases, merely humorous-erotic) gestures of their affection towards their friends. Ceasing to do so once you are in a "relationship" with someone is to deny yourself the character traits that make you who you are. It's a selfish notion to presume people will withhold affection from other people they care about for one person.

    They are your friends. They will probably be around longer than most lovers. Enjoy them.


What Guys Said 3

  • In my experience, it's absolutely unhealthy for men and women to establish frienships, without any anticipation of something more developing. Further, in my opinion, it's flat-out relationship-suicide for a man or woman to maintain a friendship with the opposite sex when s/he is either married or in a commited relationship. You may wish to disagree with me on this, yet this will be hard, since you boyfriend left for this very reason. Going to the point of exchanging, "i love you's" with your male friend, is more than I can begin to fathom. Each man gets one woman, each woman gets one man. Those are simply the rules, Always have been, always will be. Men and women are hard-wired for physical attraction, which precludes any possibility of the aforementioned. All the best.

    • So seclusion is the only way to a bright and sunny future with only one person? From what form of medieval philosophy does that come about? Relationships vary like any other social structure. You don't point all your feelings at one person, alone. Maybe her boyfriend was too insecure to accept that she can "love" a lot of people on various tiers.

    • Show All
    • Sure medieval thinkers uniformly believed the world was flat, but they also knew that should a man stick his hand in a fire he'd get burned. Some things don't change as they're part of the grand design, and sexual tension between men and women is one of them. Try as you may to have it your way you'd might as well pee in the wind always hoping for a different result.

    • who ever said that guys and girls can't be friends is stupid, I think that being secluded to only one sex of friends is more of a hinder that a help. most of my friends are girls.. my best friend is a popular girl may age, she has a boyfriend and we exchange X's and O's along with a kiss emoji and an I love you every night... we go out to movies and at the end of the we hug and say i love you. her boyfriend knows this and is fine with it, if you are going to do this just tell her boyfriend that your not going to be a threat. it works with almost any boyfriend.

      - S

  • I think its a non-issue outside of a relationship. But it definately breaks the laws of intimacy between a couple within. How would you feel if your man told a platonic female friend 'I love you'?


What Girls Said 12

  • I agree with nova2k. I have a best friend named david. though he is very good looking we are completely platonic. He has had my back and been a great friend to me since day one, and vice versa. We care about each other very much. We are like family. And yes we say "love you" or "i love you and I'll talk to you later" all the time. Doesn't mean we secretly do love love each other. I tell my girl friends I love then and some of my guy friends I love them. People need to know the difference between I love you's between friends and when its meant in a romantic way. I mean seriously. Does he get mad when you tell your dad, grandpa, or male cousin that you love them? Its just dumb and chilish.

  • i only say 'i love you' to my boyfriend and I expect him to say it only to me- of course sometimes he and I can sarcastically say it to a member of the opposite sex but I only say those words to my boyfriend who I do love so.

  • I once had a guy friend. Both of us said "I love you" to eachother. We were really good friends...that's it.

    You see, it all depends on how you mean it.

  • I have no problem saying I love you to all my close friends, guys and girls. You can say I love you to brothers and sisters so I don't see why you can't say it to friends who are as close as siblings. I do only say it to friends that I don't have any emotional tension with though. There is a guy friend I have and we've been on and off very friendly friends, I don't think I could exchange I love yous with him because that would just feel a little weird because of how our relationship is. I do tell my other guy friends I love them occasionally because I know we're like brothers and sisters. I would be careful about saying this if I had a boyfriend because if I were in his place I'd be a little uneasy. I guess it depends on where everyone's understanding is.

  • When my male friend said he loved me, it brought up a lot of confused feelings from me towards him. Even though from his end it was purely platonic, I overthought about it and it cause me a lot of stress. But I'm the type that takes 'i love you' seriously in the romantic sense whenever it comes from a male. Coming from my female friends though, there's no problem. Sure I don't say it back since I feel psychologically restricted to only use it in a serious relationship, but I show I appreciate them with other words.

    • I too take the 3 magic words very seriously. Though in recent months I've realised that there is more than one form of love. I would never say it unless I meant it, even to my mother, which is sad I guess. However now I've realised after recent events that it is important that the people you care about know it, whether they be romantic or platonic. I love certain friends of mine who are guys and girls and I let them know about it. We are clear that it's platonic and that is all that matters.

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