I got in a huge strop with my boyfriend (our first fight actually). Same as you, he was in the bathroom, I was plugging our phones on charge for bed (at the time we had almost the same phone). I had been chatting to a bestie all night and the Facebook ping went off. Due to the ongoing chat I checked what I thought was my phone. I was confronted with a message from his first girlfriend "I hope you don't mind but I got rid of the ring you gave me". This was 3 days after her WEDDING. I was thinking yon proposed and never told me?
I threw a wobbly. When he came into the room I wouldn't let him touch me or kiss me. I just said "you got a message". We didn't speak for a day.
It turned out the ring was a anniversary present back at 16. He had forgotten he had given it to her, but she held on for over 10 years
He sent a message back like "okay whatever" and he shuts her down if she tries to get reminiscent. My point was she's married, why is she thinking of you?
So I get it. But talk to him. Girls tend to leap to conclusions.
Not sure if you've said anything to him about this yet or not. But I think I recall reading a previous post form you a few days ago if I'm not mistaken about a picture on IG and him deleting a comment you posted on it? Was that you? If so, I would definitely confront him about that message and pay close attention to how he answers. But he's hiding something if that was you that made that previous post. He may not be cheating but you can't ignore the other stuff. He's either seeing someone else or talking to someone else. Id be prepared to leave him. Unless he can be completely honest about what's going on.
There's really no right way to bring this up. Just say something like..."I'm upset because the other day I made a comment on your photo and I noticed you deleted it. This morning (or whenever it was) I was laying here and your phone kept lighting up and I saw a message from "girl on IG." I don't want to assume anything, but I can't help but wonder if something is going on that you're not telling me. And it's making me feel a bit uneasy."
Word it however you want but don't go screaming to yelling at him. Just keep calm and tell him your concerns. He's either going to come clean or cover it up. At that point if you want to ask to see the entire message or convo, you can. If he's claimed its not your business or its deleted already, I think you have your answer.
This message is highly suspect. I think you need to call him out on it. If he refuses to show you the conversation then there's something there. Coming from a girl who tried to be the "understanding" girlfriend when I saw numerous messages from different unknown women on my boyfriend of TWO YEARS' phone who didn't want to show me conversations, it's a bad sign. It turned out that those women were cause to worry and I should've listened to my gut instead of trying to seem controlling and possessive. He was fucking around and I let it slide because I didn't want to look like an idiot.
Go and confront him immediately. If he shows you the whole chat he's not cheating but if he's coming up with excuses then his loss. If he does end up being unfaithful then u put your pretty little hands on his shoulders, act like ur leaning in for a kiss n knee him in the balls while whispering:"the lanisters sent their regards."
Walk away like a boss while swaying your hips. Hope I helped. 😂😶😇😉😏
Also he might not necessarily be cheating... Like everyone else is implying — it could be an old flame. So yeah but confrontation is your best option that too before he deletes the chat.
Of all the responses i read here, this one is the best. You should do exaclty this (no kick in the balls necessary, but end the relationship if he doesn't show you the whole conversation immediately)
First i would say its not your phone and that messige isn't ment for you. Then again you could have just told him at that moment he got text, and see how it goes. Now if you ask me, i would be pissed if girl would say something later and has gone trought my phone. Without knowing details, you have no idea of knowing so just trust your men and let it go.
This is tricky. If you confront him straight-up he might try to turn the tables on you by getting mad at you for checking his phone. As many have said, insta dms don't really mean much and this could be a misunderstanding so it might be safe to just give him the benefit of the doubt. You should still talk to him about this and find out what's going on, just show that you're willing to believe him if he tells you he isn't cheating or hasn't cheated on you (even if you aren't). That way he won't get defensive and will be more likely to tell you the truth
I got a spam message on my phone once that said something like, 'yeah, we should date.' I was WTF... trying to get my paranoid girlfriend to kill me? Lol
I don't have Instagram but this looks more like a notification that someone wrote something, sort of like Fakebook, rather than she wrote it *to him*. It's like the notifications below it, and I doubt that ESPN is taking the time to send him messages rather than just updating a news feed.
Then I don't know. Maybe she wishes something would have happened but nothing did. There's a few possibilities, and I won't even try to guess without having seen the entire message.
Just based off the first couple of words it seems that he tried to get at her but failed and later she gained feelings for him... OR he probably chilled with her 2 weeks ago and she was feeling him but he wasn't with it so she just expressing her feelings through DM hoping for it to go down like Yo Gotti
Ask him? If he's like me, it's innocent. When I say like me that's only in the sense to which, if I was cheating on my G. F., would I leave my cell phone laying around the house unattended? I wouldn't. People that do & get got cheating aren't just stupid, they're also telling you I don't give a fuck about you.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating. Sounds more like she's into him but not necessarily that he feels the same.
I say ask him about it and ask what's going on and why she thinks it's okay to send those things to him when he has a girlfriend but don't just go in there accusing him of cheating.
I would confront him about it but in a calm way because you haven't read the whole message. I know it looks bad but she could be talking about someone else. You know him the best ofc if you feel as if he could be capable of cheating then I would've changed my approach about confronting him (and ofc if you know this other girl or not) Good luck
ask him directly. i don't recommend accusing directly, because you never know if it's just bad word choice. ask to check his phone and previous messages with said person. if possible, do some nifty stalking to find some background information on that person. wishing you the best of luck.
The best way to go about anything is to ask him directly. Discuss why this happened, and come to a conclusion then. For all you know, could be some crazy Instagram stalker girl, or someone he slept with, but you won't know until you talk to him and find out.
Well, we all know he is hiding something. It could be dissatisfaction with the relationship. It could be cheating. Only way to know now is to ask. You could either ask directly or transition into your finding from a general discussion about your relationship.
If I were you I would request to have the full message opened to you and read the entire message. Then decide for yourself. Would he be willing to show you that? That will determine the percentage of boyfriend material for you. And if it's a mistake, then have him do something about it in front of you like replying back "Stop it! I have a girlfriend. If you will not stop, then I have to block you. Consider this as a kind warning!".
I don't condone cheating, including flirting and all the other stuff but equally I don't condone snooping. Seeing something isn't the same as snooping. If you feel there is a question you should first and foremost ask them. Not in a interrogation way, just a simple question. At that point it's you believe or not. If you don't then it's basically over and the glances turn to snooping then come the stalking.
TBH, sometimes girls do it to make other girls jealous even though the guy hasn't done anything. I've been through it. If he's loyal forget it. If he isn't then just leave him.
She's talking in past tense, maybe a thirsty ex or a some chick he propositioned before you but who denied him but wants him now. Trying to see the good in the bad.
Instagram convos rarely carry any weight, tbh: they're mostly bullshit. Maybe bring it up to him, but don't accuse him of cheating until you get some more hard evidence.
In my honest opinion, he sounds like a total loser. I mean, *ichigan? Really? Complete idiot. Go Bucks, screw blue!
Almost sounds like rap verses or poetry verses. Just the way it is written. Can't really tell if it's from a girl reminiscing or a friend showing him an old rap/poem verse they heard. Not enough to go on from this.
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Anonymous
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In the very least, she's been flirting with him. I think she may even know he's not available and "wish she didn't like him".
Now the question is, did he really rejected her as it seems as he did and nothing much happened two weeks ago? Or did something that shouldn't have happened happen? Only him can tell you that though.
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Any update on this? It would be great if you found it was something else entirely.
It's hard to say anything from the text it doesn't say he was cheating it kinda goes that way but it would be unfair to say he is from that info. Why don't ask him about the future ask him what he sees in 3 years time see what result you get
Yes unfortunately they do but it might let you know his feelings and then you might be able to judge if there is a problem. For example my ex who cheated 2 times and I forgave and I still ended single... but I noticed she had changed she wasn't as open with me wasn't as loving decided she didn't like public displays of effection just little signs that give it away
Bottom line is if you can't trust the person you're with then don't be with them. The fact that you even picked up his picked up his phone and read even part of the message shows you have major insecurity issues and you need to work on fixing yourself before being with anyone. Or you're always gonna find something wrong or some type of guilt on who ever your with.
not necessarily. it could be exactly the opposite. It's possible she trusts him so much that she just assumed it would be benign, and was planning on telling him when he got back from the bathroom that he got a notification from instagram. I've done this before, as I'm sure you have.
she's just confused. As AngryOwl said she likely just meant to read the notification to deem its importance as to whether he needed to know then or if it could wait. I live with my sister and we do the same thing all the time, read each others notifications if the other is busy and relay them. Its not so different.
But the message doesn't seem to be innocent out of context, which is how its been seen, so of course she's going to be concerned about its meaning and what that in turn means for her relationship.
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