I face-palmed so hard when I saw those poll results.
First of all: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selection_bias (consider the kinds of people that a site like GaG attracts, and whether it's a good overall representation of the general population - and more importantly - the kinds of guys you are interested in and like).
Secondly, my "wife" used to be a prostitute in high school. She would have sex with guys that were in their late 40s. Sometimes for money, other times, for alcohol, or "stuff." What does that say about her character and personality today? It's easy to say, "Oh, that girl is a slut, blah blah blah," but what does that actually mean? What does it "actually mean?" What kind of negative character or personality trait are you insinuating or worried about? How does the number of sexual partners affect that? Why can't you just come out and say, "I have a small penis and I don't know how to please a woman, so I'm afraid that if she's been with more men, then she may not be satisfied with me, therefore I have a very good reason to INVENT some kind of BS reason/excuse/justification/rationalization that will vilify a woman who basically aggravates and doesn't pacify my fears and insecurities as a man?"
Third, you know what guys like more than women with a "low number?" Women who aren't asexual, and actually enjoy sex with a man, love penis, and aren't shy about loving men and penis, or sex. Except pedophiles, they like the scarred and horrified little girl routine right before she's going to get tentacle raped. But if men were a table in Las Vegas, I would put my chips on "Sex" every single time.
Fourth, and because of the aforementioned, do you know what guys are generally scared of and worry about? Being stuck in a sexless marriage. Sure, you can get divorced, but who wants to do that? Much easier financially and socially to just "keep going with it and endure it until you die." The drawback of that is, you're still stuck in that relationship. That's who your sexual partner is. A woman who prided herself on being "pure and proper." So, if that's the message you were sending out to women, don't complain when that's what you get in the bedroom.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consistency_(negotiation) (there is no "lady in the street, freak in the sheets"; that's a myth; people have a psychological need to be consistent; so, if that's how she is in public, she's not that much different in private).
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In their brains, women have this caricature of men. They think that we just want to get laid, that we have no emotional needs, and that we only think about long term relationships when we get too old to continue acting like little boys.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Of course some guys are cruising just to get laid. But most guys want n emotional commitment with a lady. We want sex sooner than women want it because that is how we become closer to you, while women want sex AFTER they become closer. Guys don't want to be just a number for a girl. We don't want to be notch #27 on her bed post. We would like to feel more important than that!
This is what most of the arguments miss when they crank up on the "slut shaming" nonsense. Yes, it does matter!
I think you should ask your friend why he would not a woman that was promiscuous.
My feeling is he would say for the following reasons.
1) She is a higher risk physically. I believe that is true. It is more likely that a promiscuous person has an STD than a non promiscuous person. Obviously there are exceptions but generally speaking this is true.
2) She is a higher risk emotionally. I believe this depends on the person. This definitely can be an issue. A person could be having sex with people for bad reasons. However, a person could be having sex with people for good reasons too like just wanting sex and not a relationship. lol!
3) It means she will cheat on him. This I complete disagree with it. I just do not understand this concept. A person could have slept with two people in their life and still have cheated on one of them so I do not agree that promiscuously in itself means infidelity.
I will say that yes, generally speaking being promiscuous is more frowned upon a female than a male. It just is not as accepted in a female as it is in a male so this will always be more of an issue for a female than a male. It does not mean it can't be an issue for a male as well. It just means it is more likely to be an issue for a female.
I do think you should ask your friend for more clarification on this. I think discussing with him will probably help you more in understanding the male mind about this than discussing it with us.
Signed,
A promiscuous female :)
A lot of men and women will care if someone they're interested in is promiscuous because it suggests poor character, lack of self control, lack of self-discipline, a possible pattern of sneakiness/shadiness, and an increased potential that their sexual side is going to be problematic and troublesome in the future. I know a lot of women, including myself, who have the same feelings as your friend expressed. Promiscuity can quickly become irreversibly unattractive especially once you find out what the person had to do/how low they had to stoop just for an orgasm.
Guys that I know do care. They think a girl that has been promiscuous is only good for one thing (sex). Especially if the guys knows all the men a girl has been with. If a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she may want to keep her sex life to herself and ALWAYS stay protected. The more partners a woman or man has the more infections they are exposed too. Men will think about stds when they think about a promiscuous woman. And women will think the same about men. I guess it depends on the person, no matter the gender.
We can argue until we are all blue in the face about why guys shouldn't care, but, the truth of the matter is, a lot do. Just like how a lot (but not all) women care if a guy is older and still a virgin. It suggests to them from what they personally believe that this person's actions are indicative to the type of person they are.
Is that always the case? No. But people assume, and they have the right to have their preferences.
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some care some don't. for some it will depend on the level of promiscuity and/or reasons why.
I voted A, but as far as I'm concerned most guys don't really try to mask it or anything. It is a well known fact.
The difference between men and women is that men don't usually hide things, specially when it comes to the women they have been involved with. Most guys aren't alpha dudes who fuck the whole neighborhood of girls, so really the few girls they have been with isn't much of a deal. And heck, even the dudes who go around having casual sex don't need to hide it, because girls will give those guys attention anyways. And to their defense, men at least have sex with the girls they like and find physically attractive, since men can't perform if they aren't aroused by the girl they're fucking with. Women can easily do that since all they have to do basically is lay down and spread their legs (not saying is all girls do during the sexual act).
Women are not as honest in their actions. Many women have had sex or been in relationships with men who they aren't even that attracted to begin with. Being those moments mistakes or not, women are usually covering up stuff like that. So even more than having a high number of sexual partners, is the pretense and the phoniness that bothers men the most. I can't tell you how many times have I seen dudes disappointed because they found their girlfriends had a very "happy" past, yet she makes sex hard to get/and very seldom for them.
For women is usually "the past is the past", and NO, it isn't. I don't feel the need to hide those things because all those girls I've been with, I've been with honestly, there was never a pretense or anything, all I did I did it with emotion. If you feel the need to cover up the shit you did, it means you're a fake, you did it because you felt you had to, to either achieve something else or to keep the guy you were with. But not because you felt the passion to do it.
Women are very aware they lose their value by having a long history of sexual partners. And that isn't slut shaming. Women that ride the carousel carelessly and then suddenly decide to settle down and tie down some guy is a big deal. As a guy, you don't want to commit to a woman that has long mileage, and potentially a heavy baggage to deal with. Worse is when they feel the need to lie about it. So far more than not wanting to be with a woman that has been with so many guys, you are risking to be with a liar?Think about how you feel if you go to a party and somebody else is wearing that same amazing piece of jewelry you go that you thought was super special. It's still the same, but now you wearing it is less unique. It feels worse. Guys get like that with girls they sleep with.
They also evolved to feel disgust at female promiscuity as a defense against paternity fraud. They can't help that it's not attractive for a relationship even if they'll sleep with her just to get off, but then won't commit. Most of them see her as a long term investment risk not worth the cost. Because most of them seem to just kinda know by instinct she's more likely to get bored & leave if not outright cheat.
Most women just don't find shorter men as attractive, even if they say they don't care. They evolved to find men who can keep them safe more attractive, and being larger and taller is kind of cavewoman instinct for that. Most men are like that with women & promiscuity. They may say they don't care, but there's always a nagging caution bell going off subconciously warning of the danger & not to get comfortable.
Most guys I know do care to some degree. They have levels they find ideal. They have levels they tolerate for committment. They have levels they're fine messing around with and won't take seriously. And they have levels they won't touch with a 6" pole.
The guys I know with more experience tend to be more ok with women who have a little more. But most guys want to know they have more experience than the woman they're with. And that's also because they kind of know that women look at men who can't get experience as losers and become more a risk to have those women leave.
Really though, people just like what is hard to get more. Women tend to like men with more resources and feel good if they can get a high value man to commit. Men like that are rare and hard to come by. It's not easy for them to build up those resources. It's easy for them to be lazy. Men like women with lower body counts. It's easy for most women to get laid since most guys will be happy to, so a woman who does shows she has lower standards and doesn't value herself as much. It's different if it's longer term relationships over time if the numbers add up, but for a woman that just does one night stands or casual hook ups that's the ones most guys are wary of. She's just a risk to his helath and happiness.I think most care at least to a certain extent, some more than others. Guys who dont care at all or in other words, there is nothing they could hear about your sexual history that would bother them, are kinda rare in my opinion. Of the guys who Do care, they won't all have the same tolerance for what qualifies as promiscuous. For some its any casual sex for others its based on your age. there's a lot of varienence between what different guys are ok with. Part of it probably depends on the guys history. For example, guys with higher numbers are generally more accepting of girls with higher numbers.
Personally I care a lot but I wouldn't advertise that in real life because I know that its not very politically correct. I would only admit it to other people who share the same viewpoint. I avoid mentioning it to women, especially if they are self described feminists. I know how that conversation would play out and I have no interest in it. So if a feminist ever asked me I would most likely lie and say that I don't care even though I do.Guys care a lot about that, because this determines the type of relationship they'll want with a specific woman. But take in account that here we are talking about average guys (the majority), not about those who are also promiscuous. So... In general, there are two tendencies:
1) average guys prefer promiscuous women for casual sex or as a friend with benefits.
2) average guys prefer a lower body count for their committed partner. Society has constructed ways to detect that and make people decide which type of relationship want with each other. Clothing style, appearance, voice tone, vocabulary, etc. all those data substitute the obvious question: "how many people have you slept with?". This is something common to both genders and it is total hypocrisy to attribute those prejudices only to men. I have a sister who is always doing is with her friends: "oh, this guy looks a womanizer" "oh, this guy looks poor/filthy rich" "oh, that guy seems experienced/inexperienced" "oh, that guy seems a gentleman (when he's not...)". Prejudices are everywhere and directed from both genders. Now, if your real question is if a man can feel love for a promiscuous woman, and not see her as a medium to just have sex, well, off course he can, but he must like her a lot, otherwise he won't sacrifice his biological need to have sex with as many women as possible in the course of his life so to settle with a woman who has sexually behaved like a male, fucking with every man she had access to.A OT if men actually do care about this even though we may say we don't. It's a double-standard. For most men we think that it's ok for us to be promiscuous, that's cause most men have been like that since the beginning of time. But when a girl does it we tend to think there's something wrong w her cause women usually aren't like that, especially in the olden days. Myself I tend to think she has daddy issues, raped or something when it comes to girls who are promiscuous. Society has a lot of double-standards. If a man has sexual relations w an under age female he's labeled as a sicko, pervert, he should go to prison. If a female does it society wants to be lighter on her, have her psychologically evaluated because obviously something is wrong w her mentally as opposed to the man who goes straight to prison. Not always the case but it happens. Not only that the thought of how many men she's blown, how many men have blown their was on her face, in her mouth or in her a$$, along w all the other vile things they may have done to her, not a good thought. So don't be promiscuous!
Yes, I do care. I'm not promiscuous myself and I want to be with someone that has similar values that I have. I'm not a virgin and I don't expect any girl I want a relationship with to be one either, but I'm 25 years old and have had sexual intercourse with a total of 4 women. I started having sex at 16 and each woman I had sex with I was in a serious relationship with. If the girl is around my age or older and has had 5,6, maybe 7 partners... as long as each partner was someone they were in a serious relationship with, then I'm cool with that. However, if the girl is around my age and has had sex with 5, 6, maybe 7 partners and maybe 1 . . . if that, was one they were actually in a serious relationship with and the rest were just hook-ups. . . then I, more than likely, wouldn't want to be with that person.
I have no problem to have that person as a friend, but I wouldn't want to start a relationship with that person. I have a female friend that has had sex with more than 10 guys by the time she was 18 . .. and that doesn't bother me one bit in regards to our friendship. . . but I want nothing to do with her beyond that.I will not date a girl if she is a slut. If a girl has had a past like that, but found Jesus or something, that is something else. But I will have nothing to do with a woman that sleeps around. I don't even want to be friends with a girl with such low morals. I'm NOT saying she is wrong, or "Bad" or not as good of a person as me - not at all - I'm just saying that it is repulsive to me, and I don't want that in my life. Just like a hippie, or a Black Liberation Theologist,... it is disgusting to me. It's like asking "would it bother you to sleep next to a bucket of vomit?"... On it's face, it is repugnant.
Guys who just want casual sex from girls (and there are plenty of them) are fine with promiscuous girls. Guys who want to date/be in a relationship with a girl generally do NOT want a promiscuous girl - or, will only consider a promiscuous girl for casual sex until he finds a non-promiscuous girl to be in a relationship with.
You can say this is wrong or whatever, but regardless, this is how it IS for most guys (depending on what the guy in question is looking for).Guys will say they don't care because hey think that impresses people with how 'manly' they are. You know, only sissies care about that.. I'm a MAN!!!
But most guys aren't so deluded. We know that a girl who has forced those habits likely will not change.They care when it comes to relationships. A promiscuis woman is far more likely to divorce and cheat statisticly speaking. It increases the odds of him having to raise and care for a child that is not his which biologicly speaking is to his detriment. Then of course it degrades him because while he is essentially paying to have sex with her through affection through dating and buying her gifts etc she had already given herself to another with little to no exchange (ie some random guy at a bar) thus devaluing him because clearly he must not be all that important or desirable because she makes him jump through hoops the man she supposedly cares for while she simply gave it away to another whom she barely even knew. So over all yes men do not like a promiscuis woman when it comes to relationships. Inversley any man who is looking just for sex obviously has no problem with them since its easy and practicly free. So yes most guys will care and with fairly good reason too.
Thats simple.
Most guys looking for an LTR/Marriage... of course. Women who have more sexyal partners are less likely to last in long term relationship, especially marriage. Not to mention, most guys want a clean slate. A lot of women who are sexually liberated earlier have children at a younger age. So by the time most men consider marriage, having children as a women can take you off the map as a potential mate.
Most guys who are looking for a warm body... not in the slightest. Promiscuous women must exist to fill a demand. Without them it'll be harder for this guy to live the this particular lifestyle. A woman with sexual control over her body makes her more empowered, yes, but most importantly it makes her achieveable.I care in various ways:
If I'm looking for a serious girlfriend, and she was promiscuous in the past, it would raise questions... I'd need to understand her emotional health and balance. My experience with girls who have a lot of sex or partners is they get attached to guys or mixed up easily (not always). So I'd tread carefully. I'deally, I'd want someone who has demonstrated ability to commit to someone, bond, emotional availability and growing maturity.
I've been concerned for friends and acquaintences that had that behavior. Every time I've seen it, it has a root in some other life issue or trauma and so they are living out their life, but it isn't the one they really want... it takes time for them to change. Often, they lack self esteem... I can only do so much to lift them up, as it is some underlying wound or need is the problem. It bugs me they give themselves away to guys that don't care about them, but what can I do, it's their life and they have to figure it out.Am nt sure of the meaning of that word :
If it means she had many sexual encounters with different guys well then..:
I see it as positive and negative
1- she have experience do a positive here
2- she might be the kind who sleep with anyone which is not what am looking for
I see it something u do it with person u love that's why it's called making love
Or at least someone u like so much u think u will love them so u include the sex in the relationship plans to progress in ur feelingsIt really depends on the guy, and his confidence level. A guy that is confident in himself, it will not bother. But a guy that has low self esteem , it will matter.
I myself am not bothered by a woman's sexual past, I have confidence in myself. I do not care that a woman has enjoyed her sexuality.
I have no problem with a single gal that was open that she played the field, what I have a problem with. Is if a woman was in a relationship, and was seeing other guys behind that persons back.
I have told guys that where and are promiscuous, they are hypocrites for having double standards about women that have been doing the same thing they are.It really depends however for the most part men do care. If your in a relationship with a promiscuous partner then you will feel very sceptical about that person. It's a lot harder to build trust with someone who's knocking on every guys door right? I really liked this girl and she did too but when I found out she literally will fuck any guy if she's had a few drinks I had to turn her down. It's really upsetting to see little self control or pride, that's why you have to make the responsible decision for them and say no. I know cases of open relationships where both partners can bang whoever they want, but eventually that turns ugly, and people lose trust, or you fall for someone else. For the most part it never works. We all want to feel loved and as soon as someone else takes that from you, the attraction is completely lost. That's why it's hard for a lot of people to accept cheaters back, simply because they can't get over the feeling of being worthless. Hope I helped!
As a Man, YES I care. And women who plan on getting married should care to!
Women who have more pre-marital sexual partners are MORE likely to fail at their first marriage. The practical advice for a single woman seeking to lower the risk of her first marriage ending in divorce is to remain a virgin bride. If she sleeps with even one person, her risk of divorce increases, at the very least, by roughly 10% (from 14.9% to a value of 25.6%). …And it could easily go higher.
Several studies have been done on this. The Article below puts it all together. VERY informative read!
socialpathology.blogspot.com.au/.../...t-post.htmlStatistically speaking people with higher amount of partners prefer partners who had a high number and the same accounts for those with lower.
It's generally how people see sex and sexuality. Some see it as more precious while others see it as simple physical pleasure.this question is flawed, it is like asking:
do you want a car that is cheap or expensive?
well, you can divide the answers into 4 boxes:
1. a rich guy who wants an expensive car, because he can and he is indulgent.
2. a poor guy who wants an expensive car, because he is a dreamer and has standard, even though he will never afford the expensive car.
3. a rich guy who wants a cheap car, because he is just cheap.
4. a poor guy who will have a cheap car because that is the only thing he can get.For most men it would suggest something negative about her character. That's just logic. Are there women that sleep around just because they love sex? Sure but a good majority of them do it out of insecurity. Stereotypes exist for a reason.
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