My ex boyfriend committed suicide when I broke up with him.. should I be blamed? (Page 2)
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No, you should not blame yourself for his actions. What he did to you in the relationship was controlling and abusive. I can only speak from experience because I have battled suicidal thoughts, but only because I believed no one cared about me, including my parents. It was absolutely right for you to focus on your studies instead of a relationship. I pray that you realize that you are not a crappy girlfriend. You were dealing with someone who was not emotionally stable; he should have been going to a therapist instead of initiating fights and imposing abusive tactics in a relationship. Peace.
Definitely not it was his choice & he shouldn't have tried to emotionally blackmail you or control you like that. He clearly had some kind if emotional ir mental health problem and probably would've done it at some point anyway no matter if you were involved or not
I'm not bi :)
I'm sorry to hear this. But it's not your fault. Your happiness comes first. Your life comes first. You shouldn't be blamed for someone else's actions. He chose to end his life. Maybe it was because of you that he did, but honestly, it's not your fault.
You cannot stay in a relationship that you do not want to be in because of what you think someone might do.
Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own actions. He chose to terminate his life. That was his decision, not your decision for him.
I have contemplated suicide seriously many times, once because of what a girl did. Had I pulled the trigger back then, it would not have been her "fault", it would have been my decision.
Move one.
People are soon going to start blaming me, I don't know what to say? Or how to respond
@Asker tell them that the relationship was toxic and that it had to end because of his mental health issues. Tell them that you were not responsible for the decision that he made.
And I was right to keep my academics a priority, right?
@Asker Hell yes! I tell all my students to put everything else into second or third place, because what they are doing academically will determine the rest of their lives. If a relationship is good, it will survive one or both parties putting study first.
no. you are not to be blamed. you didn't want to be in a relationship. you didn't make the choices for him that he made after that. you may feel some guilt and that is natural. some may look at you as a cause, and while that is unfair it is in human nature to find tangible causes for the things that happen
clearly something was wrong in his head that led him to the decision he made.
It depends on a lot of factors such as whether you deliberately misled him, went into the relationship with the wrong intentions etc. Only God knows the heart and Only God can judge. We should think about what the other person is expecting before entering a relationship, how they might feel about a breakup, the consequences a breakup might result in etc. My feelings is that anyone who breaks up with someone who then committed suicide is selfish and heartless but I am not God and I do not know it all.
Honestly, you shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with him in the first place. Your mistake was getting into the relationship, not the breaking up part. You mentioned he was always super depressed. What were you thinking getting into a relationship like that if you were not going to be able to cope with it? Don't become someone's emotional support and then take it away.
He was disturbed long before you two met. He needed help that he never got. Do not blame yourself for his suicide. This issue goes so much deeper than you. When someone becomes so emotionally dependent on another that they cannot live without you, that should be a red flag that they need help. Do not beat yourself up over this. You did what you could, but he is gone now. Let the healing process begin and live your life in honor of his memory. His suffering is over now.
You did all the right things, you can't be held to ransom! You are not to blame!
People like that are a powder keg, if it's not one thing that sets them off it's another. You can't be expected to sacrifice your life to keep somebody afloat because they've lost their shit... at 17, after just 5 months together. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see it.
I'm quoting Robin Williams: "It's not your fault."
And I was right to keep my academics a priority, right?
Yeah of course! It was a mistake of mine not knuckling down at school, but I was too volatile. So I know how it can bite you in the ass later. If I had a daughter who realized her future was going to be compromised by her boyfriend, and at that age where love is blind, I'd be incredibly proud of such a rational and responsible young woman!
You are not to blame. You should not have been put in this position. He did this to you. It was a really horrible thing to do.
He was a deeply troubled kid, you could not save him. Nobody could save him. It sounds like he had his mind made up.
He is in a better place now, you have to concentrate on that.
He sounds like a very unstable character. To tell you the truth I think when he made suicide threats the best thing you could have done for him was to call the men in white coats. I do not think it is your fault he commit suicide. He probably would have done so anyway sooner or later even if you had not broken up with him. It is sad though that nobody could save him.
Not your fault at all be had issues beyond the relationship and do not take blame for it because in the end is not your decision for another person's life what he did is bad he should have listened to You and let you do what you want and he should have studied instead of skipping it but I hope you don't take blame and wish you luck in your exams and stuff and how you find the right person
Well in hindsight it might have been your duty to contact someone that could help him as you were the only one capable of doing so as I doubt he told anyone else and he was clearly not in the mind to do it himself before breaking up with him while you knew that he was mentally unstable and suicidal.
He was blackmailing her, she was cornered.
Not your fault in the least. Basically, he was looking for an excuse to end his life as hard as it is for you to recognize. He was screaming for help but his family, teachers, friends and doctor that failed him not you. Do take care of your own mental health from this tragedy which is weighing very heavily on you. Seek help there is nothing to be ashamed about.
Sounds like you dodged a huge problem. You're 27 - your main focus should be marriage and nuclear family right now with someone who is stable sans mental and financial issues and comes from a good family.
You've been granted a gigantic opportunity. Don't screw it up.
You did not do anything wrong. Please don't blame yourself for his actions. I've been in the same exact situation with an ex-girlfriend of mine, but I was lucky enough to escape without her killing herself. You are NOT at fault here.
This is vety sad. very sad. but not your fault. his sad stressful life and depression are what made him a difficultn boyfriend. And his suicide is very sad, but you did not cause his depression, you could not control it and you could not cure it.
No don't feel responsible. Just like you said, you didn't initiate the fights, he did. That shows he's mentally unstable and had underlying psychological problems. Don't feel bad hun, he should've reached out for help.
no this is not your fault at all, you are not resposnible for someone else's happyness. this is very tragic and sad. however this is not a reflection of you…. his problems was way deeper than you.
And I was right to keep my academics a priority, right?
of course..
Nothing wrong with you, there was clearly something wrong with him. Emotions shouldn't be running that high when a relationship is just at the boyfriend girlfriend stage. There's nothing really invested.
Sure, there might be some disappointment that the relationship didn't continue if it seemed to be going well. There shouldn't be anything extreme. extreme emotions and behaviour is a big red flag.