I kissed another guy while I was drunk after my breakup.. is it wrong?

[Anonymous]

It's been 8 months since my breakup. My relationship had lasted for 6 months. I was whole heartedly devoted towards my ex in that duration of relationship but it was never the same the other way round. In fact a few days before my breakup, my ex had sort of cheated on me with my best friend. Even after all this, he kept coming back during that after breakup period of 8 months, trying to be friends with benefit. I finally realized the toxicity of being with him and cut him off last month.

Since he had sort of cheated on me with my best friend, i had a cut off with my best friend too and this resulted in me making new friends. The new gang was just perfect. We used to hangout all the times together, go on trips and what not.

Everything was fine until yesterday when we went out for drink, which resulted in me passing out due to consumption of large amount of whiskey. I do not clearly remember but a guy from the gang who always used to take care of me whenever i used to pass out in similar manner, confessed to having feelings for me and he even kissed me. It was his first kiss. I am getting so many mixed feelings after coming to my senses today. I am unable to understand what is this happening with me.

Updates

+1 y

Update : i spoke to this friend of mine regarding the things that had happened... he said that he really loves me and he sajd that he wants ti marry me... and he wants to work very hard in his career so that my parents don't object to this.

[lightbulb27]

First off, I'm sorry that the prior cheated, and with a girlfriend... that causes hurt and confusion. It isn't right, but you do need to process that and I hope you have so it isn't a wound, but value gained.

As well, I know what it's like to lose the multiple... friends and him, that is being cast out of community... shame... glad you found new friends.

Glad the other guy confessed to feelings, that's feels good.
Simple answer, you are forthwith banned from drinking strong alocohol or intoxicating drugs. 1/2glass of wine max for flavor and edge, and that's it. I know you feel you need it, probably lvoe it, too F bad! It causes problems... be glad it was just a kiss. You aren't your full self when drunk, so it doesn't count.

I don't know if you sorted through the prior mess or you just kept walking on like a zombie like so many of us.
You now need to sort through these feelings with the other guy, start over at date #1 and slow it down, your heart at risk.

[Asker]

yeah... this time there'll be no rushing with the feelings
thanks :)

[lightbulb27]

Interesting twist. he may since he would take care of you, that is sweet love. the part that one wonders about is kiss you when you are drunk... maybe the only time he had the confidence, I could see that.

[Asker]

Yeah that might have been the case... he sounded really serious when he was saying all of this to me... it's just that a part of me is still scared regarding this relationship thing... so i asked him for some time for myself to consider the things

[lightbulb27]

I get that, heal from prior.. process the feelings, lessons, wounds (everyone should do this... most don't), don't rush in and tell him that's where you are at. It's never easy. If he respects that, that is positive. and don't go letting someone else pull you away, give him a chance, sounds like a decent guy.

[Asker]

Yes, i shall do this😇😇

[Dionigi]

So the problem is you don't understand what feelings you have for this friend?

Sometimes is normal to want to stay devoted to an ex. But that's exactly the kind of feeling you want to get rid of using reason.

Think more about this friend. Maybe even write about him in a secret diary, write what he does for you and with you. This will help you understand what you think of him.

[Asker]

thanks for this advice
i'll surely adher to it:)

[Dionigi]

@update:
OMG so romantic 😍
What did you reply?

[Asker]

A part of me is still scared regarding this relationship thing... so i asked him for some time for myself to consider the things

[coachTanthony]

Sound like you might have an alcohol problem to me. Not sure about everything else!

[OlderAndWiser]

What part do you not understand? You know what is happening, don't you?

[Asker]

well, it was my first kiss with any other guy after breakup... and it felt... i don't know... i am unable to put it into words

[OlderAndWiser]

It fet exciting and you want it to happen again? No confusion about that, is there?

[Asker]

Not at all... it brought back painful memories from my past... provided i've never thought about that friend of my mine from that perspective... exciting would probably be the last thing i felt

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Do you feel like the kiss was forced on you?

2. Do you have any desire to reunite with your ex?

[Asker]

1. No
2. A big No

[OlderAndWiser]

So what is the primary feeling that you have about what happened?

[BigToeJohn420]

Hey can you give me the details on that sort of cheating thing. I might want to try that sometime.

So you went out for six months and you've been broken up for 8 months and you've got a new guy kissing you. So let's see you should have goten laid the first week after the scumbag cheated on you. With his best friendship no less. A matter of fact if you had the opportunity I might still do it. Then cuz it's ridiculous
to saying you were married for 10 years and then you got devoured and didn't have sex for 12 years.
Oh yeah. Don't tell me you're part of the me-too movement because he's been forcing you to have friends with benefits sex against your will and you weren't enjoying it at all. Because that would be a little silly to.
So you want a boy friend and you're looking for one that won't cheat on you right off the bat.
Bang the shit out of the new kid he's a he's a virgin he'll still be in love he want to look at another girl for at least 6 months another long-term relationship for you.
Plus just think you can teach him to do all the right things just the way you like it. Plus he's going to have a boner 24/7, for that first six months. Well good luck with that lets you want to come back and fill us in on the details.

[Asker]

the memories of first relationship have been no less than a disaster...

[DMR3993]

Like everyone else isn’t saying, no hun. You did nothing wrong. Your ex sounds like a jerk. Good riddance. Yeah, maybe keep an eye on your drinking habits. My guess though? You’re in shock. You weren’t expecting this and you’re just not ready to move on. Do you like this other guy? Like everything aside that’s what you need to be asking yourself right now. Sure he could be nice, doesn’t mean you like him like that. And then secondly do you even want to be in a relationship period? The fact that you even brought your ex in to this conversation indicates no to me.

[SongBird3]

Abso-fucking-lootly not!
He cheated on you and you broke up. If u wanted to fuck 100 guys right after him thats your right.
I will say its kinda bad that your friend kissed you while you were passed out drunk.

[SongBird3]

What r u gonna do?

[Asker]

I told him that i need some time to think about everything

[Glue-Sniffer]

Stop drinking so much alcohol. It is ruining your life.
And no, it's not cheating. You have to eventually move on and this is a first step.

[Asker]

it was my second time at drinking
thanks for the advice :)

[Anonymous]

Explain to the guy who kissed you that you were drunk. He should have known not to do that when you were drunk but he most likely thought with you intoxicated was the best time to get those feelings out cause you may not have remembered it. You ex shouldn't even be in the question, your break up is longer than the time you were together its time to move on and see If there is anything between you and that guy because it sounds like he cares about you a lot

[Asker]

for sure... thanks :)

[chrisbigman]

It's wrong, not because you kissed another guy after breaking up with your ex, but because you were drunk. You should NOT kiss someone drunk. That can lead to bad results of some sort. Also, why would you care about your ex if he cheated on you? YOU are responsible for your own actions, which includes drinking - NOT your friends. You need to talk to a counselor and figure everything out in terms of how you feel.

[Asker]

you are right... kissing someone while being drunk is wrong... i just kind of lost my control

[SjE78]

if you and your partner broke up then no it isn't wrong, it would be if you and they were still together though but since you both broke up before... this could have been merely a rebound thing

[FluffyBunny82]

Your single now so there's no problem. If you're keen on this guy then just try dating for a while. Don't worry about your past because that's exactly what it is.

[FluffyBunny82]

Good luck

[xxcandyxxcanes]

Girl. I’m not reading this monologue. If you are broken up you can do whatever you want. 😐

Don’t blame the alcohol.

[Clyde_123]

I don't see any problem. And you're not wrong. You are single you can do what ever you want.

[Asker]

thank you:)

[Sarisalive]

If you two know eachother and are comfortable with one another, than no it’s not wrong

[cheer4life_xo]

Stop passing out and over consuming alcohol that’s putting yourself at risk unfortunately just be careful. Anyways your free to do whatever if you’re single

[MyExperience]

All I read was kissed someone after a breakup. If you are single, you are free to kiss anyone or as many anyone as you want. You need to keep moving forward in your life and quest for happiness

[MyExperience]

I read your whole post.
You definitely need to address your alcohol problem.

[justwantsomeanswers]

Girl no. It’s been 8 months since you broke up AND HE cheated on you. You do you.

[Lizzie85]

No. It’s not wrong. You’re single. Kiss who you want

[jonahbona]

How drunk was that guy? That’s messed up if he decided to make his move while you were in a half conscious state. As for you, you didn’t do much wrong, other than drinking beyond control. Nothing to be guilty about.

[Asker]

His drinking capacity is far better as compared to mine... so he was kind of sober
thanks :)

[MusicMayhem]

Nothing to see here. Just another young woman blaming alcohol for her inability to take control of her actions..

[CuriousHumanBeing]

I think you should control the drinking.. but you don’t need to feel bad or anything. Y’all broke up so you’re free to kiss anyone you want