Is telling my ex I still love her too much to see her again the wrong thing to do? Why can't I move on?

[Anonymous]

-Things went wrong due to things I dont want to revisit and at 26 my longest relationship ended. I moved 6 months after and went back to visit my parents this weekend (have not seen this particular friend group in about a year). I thought I could avoid those feeling now that i was moved away and there was never a chance we could try again.
- Unfortuately the second I walked in and made eye contact with her butterflies came back and I felt a lump in my throat the entire night. I completely avoided the friend group and talked to other regulars I used chill with before I moved. I left the bar first and she called me wondering why. I simply replied with " I just realized i still like you too much. I hope everything goes amazing in life for you but right now seeing you broke my heart all over again.". I dont know why I reacted that way to her but feel bad. I'm back 2 hours away in my new city and still have this lump in my throat when I think of her. Even last night I couldn't sleep cause memories flooded back.

[Hiitsme23]

Sometimes we all meet that person who puts butterflies in our stomachs
Have us wear rose colored glasses...
But at the end of the day it didn't work.
Take it from someone who chased guys because of their looks... and then failed years later because it just that a crush... like those type of relationships where you're obsessed they are toxic and never work. I dont know why your relationship ended because of the girl... but to me it's better you move on. Or go for what your heart wants. Does she still love you?

[Asker]

Not sure the only slight hint I had is she gave me the "hey handsome" nickname and hugged me. And I replied with "hey beautiful" and we laughed it off. Not sure if she was joking. I froze up after and went avoidant right after, but I know I meant it when I called her beautiful.

[Hiitsme23]

Why did you avoid her?

[Asker]

The relationship was on it way to ending cause her dad was sick and passed after i moved. I recieved an amazing offer in the Cleveland area and had to take it. The plan was she could move up at some point when things were better but cancer sucks. She rightfully decided to stay with her mom and I was already moved into my apartment so we naturally drifted. Never had any real closure just I understood she had to do her thing at home.

[Hiitsme23]

I REALLY think you should reach out to her... has she tried contacting you? Like to me there's still chemistry.

[Asker]

I froze cause we never had closure and it was one of those things she is did the right thing in staying with her mom and I knew it won't work longterm. Yet I couldn't man up and deal with the feeling that remained yet she is taking care of her widowed mom. I felt so mentally weak.

[Hiitsme23]

Reach out say hey maybe ask her if you guys can talk... if she does not accept you have to force yourself to move on...

[Asker]

I think I need to for my own good just to apologize. Overall I have not looked around on the market at all since I moved and I think the regret of not checking in with her will at least bring closure good or bad.

[Hiitsme23]

Sounds like a good plan!

[Asker]

The results was a 5 minute call minute where we admitted we need to know for sure and it is clear we still have feelings. I'm driving back Friday night after work and were going to spend the weekend together in my hometown. From there it will come down to seeing what sacrifices need to be made to make things work. It sounded like the scenario needs to have her mom involved which i get. If she can get her mother to relocate within an hour of us she seems very interested in resparking things. If not oh well I'm away from it all.

[Hiitsme23]

Okay hun good luck with everything