An ex said that he can' t have a normal life that he is hurting people, he must stay single but one month after our break up he dates his friend?

[Deimy]

Why? He said he started to date" againts his will". Does it mean it is rebound or distraction? He still blames me for break up and not loving him while we were together and say his new relationship is better cause she is his collegue so understands his job and does not argue

[HollyK21]

He’s saying it’s against his will because he doesn’t want to look like a jerk for telling you he can’t be in a relationship then getting into one only one month later. Who knows what the longevity of that situation will be, but if I were you I’d block him and move on.

[Deimy]

He said that now he can' t try with me cause he has more responsibilities in his work and he admitted he has no time for himself even to go to gym. So I wonder why he dates her?

[HollyK21]

Even when a man is not ready for a relationship (for reasons like all the ones you mentioned) he will get ready for the right man. I have seen it with other people and also experiencing it with my current boyfriend. Clearly this man is a liar, because no one twisted his arm into a relationship. He wants to be with her, despite everything he’s telling you, and I think you should start recognizing that he isn’t being fully honest. I understand it’s confusing, like what is his motive to lie? But sometimes people do it for no good reason, or to save their image. I think what happened with your relationship is that he decided you weren’t the person he wanted to be with, and there’s no need for you to over-complicate that notion. I know it’s hurtful to accept and believing his stories makes you feel better, but he doesn’t deserve all that grace from you.

[HollyK21]

**he will get ready for the right woman. Excuse the typo.

[Deimy]

It hurts me so much because we dated 3 month in the same country then 3 months in long distance and he still blames me for not loving him when we were together but I did... I did not ask him about her, he said himself they went on few dates..." she is better than me"

[Deimy]

Also when I said ( I lied) I have new love interest he started to give advice" not to treat him like I treated him"

[HollyK21]

I’m sorry you’re hurting, breakups are no where near easy and this will be a hard time. You are entitled to feeling hurt, angry, confused, etc., but what you should not do is dwell on the situation any more. When you focus so much on your pain, and spend a lot of time picking through the past and trying to understand each situation or each thing he’s said, it just makes it that much harder to let him go and move on. If he feels that you hurt him or did wrong in the relationship then there’s nothing you can do about that and no point trying to understand it. What I would strongly advise is to stop reliving the past, and focus on healing right now in present time. Fill your time with hobbies, hanging out with friends and personal growth, rather than looking so deeply into his life and his choices.

[Deimy]

Thank you so much🥰

[RosieMelts]

He’s basically admitting he’s a fuck boi. He wants to seem like a good person to you though.. so he didn’t just come right out and say it.

Drop him because either way he’s not looking to be around.

~Best to you 🤟

[Deimy]

He said that now he can' t try with me cause he has more responsibilities in his work and he admitted he has no time for himself even to go to gym. So I wonder why he dates her?

[RosieMelts]

Yeah my response still stands. Doesn’t matter what he does. I would drop him if I were in your position 👍