If you Were the Dumper in a Relationship, Would you Expect the Dumpee to Try and Win you back?

[Paris13]

[charrissanextdoor]

Yes there is some expectation on my side when the break up is fresh for them to try harder and ‘win me back’ if they really treasure me. Although it is very short lived. If they don’t, it makes me think they never fought for me and tried to amend things. Especially if it was their fault behind why I dumped him.

[Paris13]

I Found During a Holiday and Special Occasion, Brown Nosing. xxoo

[StarWarGirl]

No. Relationships isn't joke for me neither is my decision is of any kind play or game. If i decided to not make anyone the part of my life then i must have taken that decision with some thoughts only. Why should I challenge my own wisdom?

[Paris13]

Wow!!! xxoo

[Cynicaldreamer]

No. If I dump someone, there's usually a damn good reason for it. I'm the type of person that sticks it out until I realize there no hope, you've REALLY screwed up, or you don't want me and/or a relationship.

For example, last guy I dated cheated on me-
Do y'all really think I'm going to let a cheater back into my life? It was over the moment he said I was "emotionally immature," yet he left me for someone twice my age 😂

You have to set boundaries for yourself or people will take advantage of you.

[Sweetsurprize]

Thank you for this.

[Paris13]

I don"t like Cheaters, But Not why I Dumped Him. xx

[Pinay_ako]

When I breakup with someone it’s because I’m setting them free to love someone else coz either they want me to let them go to be happy or I’m no longer happy because I feel more alone being with them. So it’s for the best for the both of us to part ways. No, I don’t want them to try to win me back. My second ex tried but I told him don’t waste his time. It’s best for him to let me go and let me get over him. He cheated on me. I won’t give him another chance to hurt me again.

[Paris13]

Beautiful. xx

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes, depending on the dumpee's personality and level of desperation. But that doesn't mean I WANT them back in my life.

[Paris13]

Good Deal. xx

[AviatorTom]

I wouldn't expect anything. The relationship is over, in the past, time to move on.

[Paris13]

Nice. xx

[Avicenna]

No, if I dump her, I am really and truly done with her

[dynamicyandere]

When I’ve decided to break up with someone, I would have taken at least a month to really think it over.


Once that decision is made, it’s final.


I don’t do that break up and get back together and break up and get back together dance.


To me, that just screams impulsivity and emotional immaturity.


So when I say it’s over, it’s really over.


I will not be swayed at that point, no matter how much they cry or beg or apologize.


Because by the time I’ve reached that point, I will have tried everything—for multiple months, expressing concerns, for multiple months, only for those important issues to be dismissed or ignored, rather than be resolved.


It should not take the threat of breaking up for someone to take your relationship issues seriously.


And I do not threat, I commit—I don’t bluff.


So if I say hey, unless we resolve XYZ, I really don’t see how this relationship is going to work out.


That’s a red alert to take me seriously, or I’m out the door.


And once I’m out, I’m out.


It’s normal for them to try to win me back.


I fell for that twice, and gave second chances.


The result? Got burned. Both times.


They were an ex for a reason.


And ever since, I always stuck by my decision if I ever decided to break up.

[Paris13]

Wow!!! I see a Master. xx

[blueonblack22]

Nah. I’ve had to break up with one girl and turn down a wedding arrangement for another. In both circumstances I really took my time to think through everything very hard. I gave both women full closure too.

One ex girlfriend went absolutely ballistic and insane. If the roles were reversed there would be some article written about in a woman’s publication. But I left with a clear conscious. Right or wrong, fair or not she got to say every crazy thought that crossed her head. Didn’t hear from her afterwards because I gave her full closure.

But I’ve never had a woman give me that kind of respect. Ever. Every girl who has broke up with me treated me disrespectfully while doing it because once a woman decides she no longer finds value in a man he’s expendable. Men aren’t special for existing. Only specious if they can provide value.

[Paris13]

Beautiful. xx

[blueonblack22]

Well there is the really bad tendency in our culture (especially in dating) where “hurt people hurt people”. Many people self justify screwing someone over because and unrelated person screwed them over in the past.

It’s adolescent reasoning and it’s got to stop. You take your past experiences as an example of what NOT to do someone else. You share a different reality with the other person. They aren’t guilty for someone else’s sins.

[FunkyMonkee]

I would expect it. She DID try to hang onto me as a friend! That's only fair, though because, I told her from just about day 1 that if we ever did break up, I'd still want to stay friends. However, I didn't think to include the clause: but not if I catch you cheating, stealing and lying!! I just never thought I HAD to! If it was just an ordinary break-up: she decided she wasn't in love with me, anymore or I decided the same about her, chances were VERY good that we'd still be friends after the break-up.

[Paris13]

Wow!!! Funkee. xx

[FunkyMonkee]

Up until 4 years ago, I was still good friends with my first two ex's from the early `80's. No. 2 got pissed at me a few years ago because I wouldn't give her 58 cents to feed a stray cat! I was living on the loose change I found at the drive through windows at the mall every night so, there's no way in hell I'm giving MY money away to feed a cat that,, chances are, everyone in the neighborhood also feeds!!
The last time I saw No. 1 was just before I caught No. 3 cheating on me 22 years ago and she was still VERY friendly and loving towards me!

[Zatsuma]

You got to have a good legitimate reason for finalizing a relationship. I wouldn't expect someone to come running back if they were dumped for another person. However if it's a forgivable reason that with communication and time can be worked out, then yes. By all means try your best to make amends especially if you were in the wrong.

[Paris13]

Not Sure How I Broke it Off after a Year... lolxx

[Leapfrog00]

If I broke up with a girl, it would probably be for a good reason, like she was cheating or using me. I might take them back if they could prove they changed, though most people don't change, or say they will and don't. I believe in giving everybody a second chance, but they'd have to show at least some effort. I'm an easy boyfriend! Lol

[Paris13]

lol Some things Would never Change... lolxx

[Peter_Penetrator]

Depends on what l did to justify being dumped.


If l was dumped for something petty then she would have her work cut out for her.


If she dumped me for someone else and then it didn’t work out for her, then there would be no reason for her to even try. Her efforts would be in vain.

[Paris13]

I see. xx

[wkozak]

It happened to me recently, my ex actually tried to massage me many times on my facebook account and she wanted to be withe despite her many mistakes and make herself look like a naive and insane girl infront of my dad made me dump her and ghost her, she didn't believe that i replied to her after 4 months, we talk and things seem good but i don't hang out with her, i rarely text her, ghosting her sometimes, i only talk if there's something important

[Paris13]

Always a Miscommunication. xx

[wkozak]

I always tried to be clear with her but i didn't get the same treat

[Anonymous]

Firstly, I would never do that coz break up happened for a reason and secondly even if I expect that , the relationship will not ever be the same as before and I would lose respect in that person's eyes. So I would just try to stick to my decision and just move on. Coz everything happens for a reason 😛

[Paris13]

Onbe Year Later, Lost has Changed. xx

[ZackBan]

No.

If I had to muster up the courage to end a relationship I'd want to put it behind me and move on.

Having my ex bending over backwards trying to restart things with me would be the opposite of that and also unfair to her

[Paris13]

Thanks! xx

[FellowTraveler]

I am older, as older than 60 YOA. This subject is difficult to tackle, here it goes!

IF one or both of the two had extraordinary stresses in their life NOT generated by the other, then there's a good chance of reconciliation IF they effectively communicate WHAT WENT WRONG and make a conscious effort NOT TO REPEAT.

IF however neither were in a 'spot' that precipitated the breakup, you simply are not compatible and will repeat the same behavioral pattern that caused the break-up in the first place.

[mandyfire98]

If I break up then I'm done. I don't want to go backwards at that point.

[Paris13]

Good Going, Girl. xx

[Rei13]

Nope. Anytime I’ve broken up with someone I had a good reason for it and the more they tried to win me back the less I wanted anything to do with them

[Paris13]

I Saw Through It. xx

[EmyyWolf]

NOPE! .. If I leave …. I LEAVE.

I don’t expect or want anything from him.

If I want to get back with him. I ask. He says no, then no. I fucked up 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Paris13]

I see. xx

[Djdudndb]

depends on who the man is. Some men don’t understand no means no and they will come back over and over to pester you for another date or whatever they want as if your thoughts are not even relevant. One man I told to stop contacting me and guess what he did? Still to this day is trying to contact me even coming up to me in real life at work.

[Paris13]

Friends Then. lolxx

[Simslover92]

No. The type of guy I have would never do something like that. And if I dumped him, it would be for a very good reason like cheating. There's no coming back from cheating for me.

[Paris13]

I never Had a Cheater. xx