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An Open Letter to Women: Thanks for Nothing! (Page 2)
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I'm really sorry about what happened but you can't tell me that this is all that it takes for you to think that ALL women are of the same sort? Do you sincerely believe that we all have a hive-mind, and would behave in the same way?
What do you hope to gain from 'encouraging your fellow males to do the same'?
Absolutely because the same thing happened to me when I was in 6th grade, which was why I became so shy until now. Then now that I barely start to step out of my comfort zone, it happens all over again.
Ever stop to think that it might be more reasonable to conclude that you may be the factor at fault, versus saying that an entire sex sharing nothing more than genitals/chromosomal makeup, is to blame?
Honestly from the way you wrote this, it does sound like you probably came off way too strongly to this girl. Like you took it so seriously, it may have spooked her. Honestly... from how you wrote this it comes off as just really self focused. I think that you should look into being genuinely empathic towards people.
And I read a lot of your story, not all of it but a solid half and everything that happened with the chick.
And on the flipside if you think other people can be better than you... that's really not good. So I'd also suggest that you try to stop thinking that way because other people will be able to tell...
So asking a girl out is too strong now? How much pussy-footing does it take to get a girl to go out then?
So one woman rejecting you makes you Christ Crucified? Lol, dude. That's not even almost accurate. She probably picked up that you were a bit off center, which is why she said what she said. After reading this rant, I'm not sure what woman would be ok being in a relationship with you. How about instead of looking outwardly to the Cursed of Eden, as you said, why don't you examine yourself? I know everyone's entitled to his own opinion, but there's nothing right about this take or your views. This is disturbing.
PS God loves men and women equally. "For in him there is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free." Spend some time in Proverbs 31. There's hate in your heart. Pluck it out.
I knew this is going to happen when I read your previous take. You were getting overly exited for nothing. Phone number doesn't mean a 'yes' and guys need to understand this. She might say yes at first but she could change her mind anytime soon for whatever reasons. I'm sorry this happened to you but perhaps it could be a lesson for some guys who judge women's personality based on their past. If I am not wrong she is a chaste Christian girl? I guess it hurts you more knowing the fact that a 'virgin Christian' girl whom who dreamed about has turned into a bitch. So now you wrote how you will be going after a bad girl instead? Hmmm.
I sincerely am sorry for saying such rotten things about women. It harms me more when women like yourself are being so nice to me even when I do not deserve it. Did you see my new Take?
No. What is it about?
An apology for saying despicable things toward women
Dude, are you kidding me with this? One woman does not make us all annoying, lying cunts. My dad was a deadbeat, does that give me the right to call all men deadbeats? No.
Look, I'm sorry she hurt you but don't generalize an entire group of people because of this one experience. The gender does not make the person. She was probably bad from the start.
You will have more luck in the future. :)
Believing in magic physics doesn't mean Newtonian rules don't actually apply. There is only so much energy to give, only so much belief a person has, and so many times you can convince yourself to believe when you try.
I'm all for the "Just keep pushing forward" mindset but to do so and blindly reject the past experiences that have shaped the way you approach the world is absolute retardation. For me, I can look at someone and pick them apart, find that thing that makes them not just crack but completely crumble, or I can find that thing that makes them love me for life. It's made dating far less interesting and magical knowing that there are exact moves at every second that could make or break the relationship and it's your choice if you want to walk the safe path or give her the up and down experience that every woman secretly wants.
I mean, you see it from the perspective of someone who's wanted, we see it from the side that will never have.
She is a total bitch but there a big ass issue with lying cunts. I remember in grade 5 a guy who I had a short term crush on was trying to paint me of a stalker and a slut to everyone else. Saying how I wanted to bang him all the time and I am too crazy etc. These cunts are pathetic but its not all men fault that he is one same with women.
Not all women are like this, just like not all men are players. Please stop generalising an entire gender because you met an asshole. I don't think what she did was fair, at all, she was way out of line but I kind of could see this coming from your last take. She was far too young for you, which I did point out, that it's innapropriate to go for someone underage. I'm not excusing what she did, I'm just saying be more careful next time and take this as a lesson - don't date coworkers or try to - don't shit where you eat. It's a hard lesson to learn and I've had to learn it myself and don't chase girls who are too young for you. People will behave in a morally reprehensible way but the way you avoid being burned is by being smarter than them and thinking that things can go wrong. I'm prepared for a barrage of down votes, I'm really sorry this happened to you though.
I too am sorry for what I said about women. Please view my most recent Take.
I just read it. It's good to see you acknowledged that not all of us are like that and women get hurt just as much as men do.
Also glad to see you're not going to approach underage girls anymore too, so thank you.
At least he awknowledged hat he was wrong.
@RainbowFanGirl he did yeah, I read his latest take after I'd posted this :) it's more than some men do I suppose!
The English aristocracy-derived 'rules;' of dating do bring out the worst in people.. and women do take advantage of them as best they can.
I don't know the ins and outs of what happened here, but it's always VERY risky to approach anyone at work, It puts them under pressure, and unless she openly and loudly rejected you, there would have been rumors about you, for sure.
It sounds like she had it in for you before you approached her. Maybe you had a conflict at work with one of her friends? Women at work are often very clannish and will gang up on any guy who dares criticize ANY of her group.
Ormaybe she has something going with one of the bosses at work and is afraid you will find out...
Lots of possible reasons, though they don't JUSTIFY her behavior, of course.
But you should have known this. The worst place to 'come out of a shell' is at work...
" Women at work are often very clannish and will gang up on any guy who dares criticize ANY of her group." You are 100% correct here , even had the brief misfortune to work with a group of rabid man haters , without knowing me at all , one snarled at me " Men are cancer that needs cutting out !! " I left that toxic place shortly after.
so learn your lesson-don't be a fuckin simp.
don't nod to feminism. cuz women are NOT superior. And instead value yourself, and they'll come running.
white knights DON'T GET PUSSY. get that through your head, mate
don't be a doormat, don't be Matt, this shit ain't rocket science. be valuable, and you'll have them lined up... kowtow to them and you'll have them lined up to EXPLOIT you, just like feminism taught them, and taught you... forget everything you thought you knew. Or get used to this shit...
Aw man, this is the saddest thing I've ever read. You were one of the most happy and enthusiastic guys too, that must've been absolutely devastating. I understand if you need time to gather yourself. I only hope you'll remember that not all girls and women are this way, and please don't become bitter. You are better than that, I know it
I already new this shit wasn't going to turn out too well after he was jumping for joy at getting the number.
Get real dude... I mean I know your not a bad guy. You going to let scum bring you down. ? Sh... Pick your self up and never mind these weak ass people playing you. Stop blaming women for your judgements... We all know what that's all about already. Times have changed in your area. Quite giving a f... When they don't if that's the type your into. Played back if that's the girls your into. Looking for someone good.. Look in the right places then. Good women everywhere !! With the same problem as you. Or just move to Hawaii where no more of this shit happens.
I want to share something with you, so hear me out to the end.
I was molested by my own half-brother and then later sexually assaulted by a trusted male friend. I went through a very angry and dark period. That spiraled out of control into many negative aspects, such as self harm and disordered eating. I developed panic disorder and couldn't cope with that shit. So, I started to learn more.
Trauma, unfortunately, is thought to actually bring about more trauma until you can break your mental baggage with that issue. Early traumas especially. They predispose you to attract the very situations that trigger your negative feelings through small thoughts, actions, body language and such. Then you get more trauma and the connection is strengthened.
The key is working to overcome your own mind. It's the only escape route.
Thank you, I genuinely appreciate that.
Good luck. Our own minds can be our greatest tool or our worst enemy. I recommend looking into the mindfulness movement.
Inspiring post , thank you !! You are right about controlling your own mind.
Thanks. There are a lot of wonderful resources out about mindfulness and the power of your thoughts. It can seem like mumbo jumbo on the outside, but once you get started its like you have the most basic, obvious building block there is.
Still trying to rid myself of PTSD from my British Army service , which can also trigger depression , also I'm a single dad , working FT , some days are like " Stop the world !! I wanna get off " , the Army did build a tougher Mk 2 model of me , so I can keep going strong. Good point about early trauma , grew up with conflict !!
Sounds like you've got a lot on your shoulders. A good place I found to start is cognitive behavioral therapy. It's not touchy feely, which I shy away from. It's basically like training your new mind (full of logic and consciousness) to overcome your old mind (full of automatic negative thoughts about yourself in the world) . I do hope you find a path that works for you.
Women " shit test " men all the time , to find out if he is right for her , take my advice , do the same to women , always gauge her character first...& take it from me , do NOT date in the workplace... been there , done that. I have had numerous bad experiences of women , even violence from stranger women , there are a lot of shit people in the world , but don't let them corrode you , it's a downward spiral , make people pass your tests to see if they are decent & use your intuition , men especially don't listen to their own alarm bells ringing. There ARE some decent ladies out there , 2 ladies on here recently have given me a positive boost , so shout out to @tarrycat & @Sal_202 , impressed with your mature & positive attitudes !!
Wow! Thanks so much 😊. Your high opinion of me means a lot to me, it is a BIG compliment & it makes me VERY happy to know that I have made your journey with women at least somewhat more positive/hopeful (it brings a smile to my face 😃).
Women aren't hard to find, but women who understand men, definitely are, in my opinion. However, they DO exist. My respect for you has increased, because you are able to distinguish between good & bad women, & you know your worth.
Also, shoutout to @Sal_202 for making men hopeful & making the world a better, happier, & radiant place to live in. I'm glad to see there's more women with positive attitudes towards men in this world. I don't know you, but you must be a wonderful & special woman for a man to acknowledge you. 😃👌🌹
@tarrycat You are a De Beers diamond quality woman , definitely a gem of a lady & deserving of a man of the same quality... if you don't already have one !! I want my own little lady to grow up with those same attitudes , she is feisty , but lovable !!
Kid.
Grow up.
Someday you'll realize pretty much everyone is as concerned with themselves as you are about you, and their actions aren't about you. You could trip down the street wearing a tutu and singing Pop Goes The Weasel and most people will not even notice, they're so wrapped up in themselves. Consider this a form of freedom.
So quit with the drama, work on you, and for fuck's sake pull your head out of your ass about women. We are just people. Take it from me.
Nobody gives two shots if you're a nice guy. The real question is, are you a good guy? An honest guy? Do you do what's right?
Harsh but the 100% truth!
100% bullshit
I need to shave my legs first , before I put my tutu on !!
Yeah, women are shit for the most part, unless you are tall and good looking in which case they'll go out of their way to get your acceptance. You were going to have to learn this one day.
Although you need to drop this whole 'women will be interested in me when they are 30' nonsense. Even obese middle aged women get more attention than guys in their prime who are just a bit short or ugly. This myth might have been true once but there is no way in hell that women will be lining up to date you when you are older if they aren't now. You sound like a fat/ugly loser in high school who is convinced that when he leaves high school looks and popularity won't matter anymore, you need to realise that the dating game is what it is regardless of age, location, etc. If women do not find you attractive, if you are not 'Chad Thundercock', then its over already, you never had a chance.
"Nice guy" alert. Nice only until you didn't get what he wanted doesn't make you a decent human being.
It is not about not getting what I want. It is about having your entire reputation ruined and living in fear because a woman decided to make up lies about you.
You need to grow up. Thinking that your life is ruined at age 20 is ridiculous
@TightWetnBrilliant So if coworkers were calling you pedophile and delivering open threats whenever you walk past them, would you just "grow up"? As it is, women complain whenever their boss shouts at them.
Sorry I'm not interested in solving your problems. It is obvious that you don't know how to handle whatever is going on. If worst came to worse I leave my job. You can't be boss of much at only age 20 goodbye
PEOPLE can be cruel, men and women both. You took a chance and it didn't pay off, clearly the girl wasn't all she was cracked up to be. You live and you learn. Bring it up to your boss or find a new place to work. It was a risk you took asking out someone you worked with; you have to face that person daily.
I'm all for bringing it up with his boss, but if others are slandering him and threatening him, why should he find a new job?
About the threats and slanders, my advice is to document it and start making some legal threats.
If it were a woman complaining about being harassed with sexual innuendo and threats, would you be telling her to look for another job?
I agree his reaction to rejection and women is highly inappropriate and WAY overblown. However his reaction to being called a pedophile isn't. Nor is his reaction to the threats.
Special snowflake alert. Of course you haven't reached 30 yet have you. Stop thinking you can treat men how you like.
@Bluemax I fully agree. While the author's take was rather extreme and he overreacted, it's one thing to call someone names but it's another to call someone something that you could go to jail for like a rapist or pedophile, then it shouldn't be taken lightly.
It'd be like damaging a girl's reputation by saying she's a prostitute or has an std when she doesn't.
Dude I'm gonna be straight with you, I've been fucked over by woman plenty of times but this mentality isn't anymore helpful than woman saying all men are assholes/pigs.
Now I'm not siding with the girl at all, she sounds crazy but each women is different. I mean how would you feel if you met a girl who was mistrusting of you solely based on her bad experiences with some men?
Look at it this way, there's guys I was friends with who ended up being scumbags, shady, and douchebags all around. Am I not gonna make friends with men because of it?
Are you done crying?
I've written these 2 myTakes a long time ago but they still apply.
Read them, wipe off your tears and stop being a bitch.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24344-the-pussy-price-ending-female-entitlement-male-whining
This one is also very important to read
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25502-the-prerequisites-to-entering-the-dating-game
haha that thread name though!!
Given what I know now, and where dating/sex currently are in the world, if I was your age and single, there's no question i'd establish friends with benefits, not relationships. And I say that as someone who -wants- good monogamous relationships. Use friends with benefits as a screen though, to screen out women who aren't -that- into you, to screen out women who want to use sex as bait, to screen out women who want a strawman where you either care about them or sex. Set the ground rules... if she's not interested in fucking, then there's nothing there. If she is, and if you like her, and she treats you well and you care about each other, and she wants to enthusiastically meet -all- your sexual needs going forward, then you can move to a relationship.
Basically, only date women who think -you- are chad thundercock.
Well said sir
Listen , I'm very sorry for what this crazy B*tch did to you. But please try to understand not all women are like that. Women don't like rejecting people it's awful and makes me personally feel guilty. But most women only reject a guy because
1. We're in a bad place and don't want to complicate things.
2. We don't like you in that way and want to remain friends
3. We have a crush on somebody else.
And there are probably more reasons
But again I am terribly sorry for what you went through.
I am not angry that she rejected me, or even that she flaked out after giving me her number. I am mad that she deliberately sabatoged my reputation and made up lies for no apparent reason other than she wanted attention. Now everyone thinks I am this horrible bad person who stalks women and is a pedo all because she lied about me.
Oh well I understand why you would be mad , what she did was just pure evil. But trust me not all women are like that.