Do you ever attract the people you're not into?

Question

Seems like a lot of time I attract:

- the white girls who are nice, institutionally educated, like decent men... but are Republican.
- the ghetto Latinas who like black men or think I might be badass until they find out I'm not.
- overweight black girls who think they can seduce me.
- or the badass black girls.

I love that a lot of my own women are attracted to me, and they look good but a lot of them don't have the personality I like. Occasionally I will attract the Asian girl but those types are often super pure. Seems hard to find the chicks you're really into.

What's your situation?

Shafaq_Mahnoor96 · Accepted Answer

Well that's happened to me 2 times now. It's never happened to me before though. I didn't used to really attract people who I was into and neither did I attract I people who I wasn't into. But as of now recently I attracted a shy guy who I wasn't into at all. He didn't admit that he liked me, but it was easily noticeable that he had some sort of crush on me. He was always nervous around me and didn't have proper guts to approach me since I already mentioned, (He was shy).

Currently another guy has a crush on me and has kind of hinted it out and admitted that he does. He tells me how beautiful my eyes are lol and that he likes them. He's told me I make his blood rush apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️😂. Thing is though he's 22 and I'm 18 (Almost 19), he keeps telling me that the age gap Isn't so wide. I'm not into him at all either in the same way. He got upset after I kind of friendzoned him lol, and he gets kind of Jealous of my Interactions with other guys. Which clearly shows he likes me as more than a friend.

I always tend to attract guys that are way too shy and Introverted and sometimes nerds. I think that's because I'm kind of a quiet girl too. I think shy guys are into quiet and shy girls. Basically the same as they are. But even though I'm quiet, I still don't like shy guys at all. They aren't really my type. Neither are nerds, I prefer having nerds as Just friends but nothing more than that. They are Interesting sometimes, but kind of boring. I like guys that are way more outgoing and have a nice humour and good confidence. They have to be good looking too, I know it's kind of shallow but a guy can't catch my attention if he looks hideous. I like handsome guys 😊

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I've decided if you want good friends - you have to look for them - cause high quality people do not beg you to associate with them - I've had high quality people bug me - but it was rare - its the losers with nothing to offer who always want to be around you and talk to you. Like one jerk who asks people for money cause he is too selfish to budget and spend in a conservative way. Another jerk who does the same thing. And a jerk who hates you if you accept rides from him but don't date him or pay him 10x what he spends in gas to take you the bible study.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes, most of the women I attract are ones that I am not interested in. I am generally a nice person so I listen to people when they seem to need someone to talk to, because I feel bad for them. Most of the women apparently think it means I am interested in them romantically, but they are always people with severe mental health issues, are very overweight/unattractive, or have messed up lives. I am constantly annoyed with myself for being so nice, but it's not like I act interested. All I do is talk to them or give them advice. I never ask for their number or say I want to hang out, but they still end up developing feelings or become obsessed with me just because I am kind to them. I literally had this very unattractive bisexual girl stalk me when I was in high school because I guess she had a thing for me. But all I did was stand up to a guy bullying her because she was queer. She told me that she was watching me throughout the whole year and kept sitting next to me on the bus. She even tried to kiss me after I flat out told her that I wasn't interested in dating anyone (I kept it general so I didn't hurt her feelings). It was pretty creepy. I also had a similar situation at work with one of my female co workers. At least she didn't out right stalk me, but she kept asking for my number and asking me to go out with her even after I said I wasn't interested in dating. Why can't I attract women without psychological problems for once? 😂

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Yeah they come from all angles... I'm white so the black chicks that go for me seem to can't stop talking about race as if it matters to me. I'm done with white chicks... those bitches are confused. I prefer Asian's because of that purity aspect, but at the same time I see certain values get dropped that I can't associate with.

Ever since I came back to America it seems like this place is just getting more fuckerd up. I have a blasian wife with a hispanic twist... but I still get this feeling I'm the Jew in Nazi Germany...

They fucking hate me bro (not the wife, society) Is it not okay to be white or what...

Or maybe it's just us trying to make sense out of these women, which make no sense on their own.

ChronicThinker · Answer

Yeah, a lot, but I have attracted ones I like too. I think my personality attracts some guys who are oddly more timid because they're under the impression that I'm going to lead the relationship. I also get a lot of "broken" people because, despite my demeanour, I am actually a supportive person and seem very stable and am very understanding/non-judgmental due to my personal background.

This isn't to say I have any issue with people who have issues, FYI, when I say broken, I mean the types of guys who are a complete mess and expect the woman in a relationship to "fix him."

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

I've never really thought about it before. I don't know if I attract one type or race of women more than another. I've generally dated white girls, but I've dated Asian girls. I can't say I've ever felt like "I'm not attracting the women I'm into". Interesting question.

mrfoox · Answer

I think I usually attract the people I find attractive. However I've noticed that a few skinny people come my way. I told myself after breaking up with my ex that I wouldn't date another skinny person next time, but here I am. They really aren't my preference but in the end I care more about their personality

SydneySentinel · Answer

Nah, I don't really attract people.

Desconhecida · Answer

I tend to attract the wrong kinda guy for me

brennanhuff · Answer

If you're attracting those women, you're probably more likely "average" in looks. I believe the indicator of if someone is good looking in the conventional way is if they have gotten a decent number of good looking women check them out, flirt and such. There will be less attractive women flirting with a good looking guy, but I feel pretty women have higher aesthetic standards vs average looking women. In laymen terms, if you got hotties checking you hot a decent amount of time. There's a good chance you're a pretty handsome fellow yourself.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Yes, I’m in the same situation as well. I’ve attracted many women who I just wasn’t attracted to from all across the spectrum of races and ethnicities, rarely Asian though. Although, however disproportionate the ratio of people you attract who you are not attracted to versus attracted to, as a man, it might be even more disproportionate as a woman for a variety of reasons. I’d say, if I had to break up the women who I attract that I’m attracted to versus not attracted to, I’d say it’s around 40% and 60%

Dongtai · Answer

Probably but they never let me know. It’s rare for girls to come up to me and boldly flirt and show interest. The one time it’s happened I wasn’t into her.

But I never have trouble attracting women when I show interest and make the first move. I do tend to attract crazy girls but I’m told that’s what I usually go after. They’re always so pretty though 😭. I’m working on finding those sane and attractive girls. But they’re always “too nice”. I don’t like those girls that are overly submissive and agreeable. They come off as weak. I like strong women. I need a girl with some edge to her.

nomadia · Answer

I often attract the guys that I'm not into. I guess one would think do cuz of the standards and expectations we have and look for in potential mates. I attract a lot of guys, being part Latin guys find it attract but I'm not into the ghetto dudes, dumb, pretty boys (guys who think they too cute) and I would not knowing d as the a rich guy (they always think u after their money) I don't look at looks, I look at character that's what attracts me. Initially eyes attract me an sdcc what makes me stay is characteristics (independent, reliable, humble, honest, direct, ambition, hardworking, some sense of humor, honor, chivalry etc) and must have some sort of goal. He most definitely cannot be clueless as to what he want out of life.

CubsterShura · Answer

I am not that much exposed to people of other races because of the place that I live in, but after coming online I realized men from Western regions (regardless of their race) seem to find me more attractive than men from any other place in the world. I don't think I want to be with someone from the Western culture, not even a Muslim who lives the westernized way. I'm born and raised in a different culture and want someone who shares those same values in common with me.

When I was in China for this competition at age 14 it seemed like male contestants from countries where Bollywood is popular had their eyes on me and wanted to talk to me, assuming that I'm Indian. ESPECIALLY Africans. Now that I think of it, I those those guys were fine and I wouldn't mind a guy from those countries as long as they were Muslims.

akihon · Answer

I was going to say no but when I stopped and actually thought about it I realized that yes I do all of the bloody time, almost every time somebody has told me that they are attracted to me they are female and completely crazy, not because they are attracted to me but because they are the crazy type, or male and have taken friendship for attraction even though I've been told that I ooze heterosexuality they still have thought that they could have a shot and persuade me to play for the same team.

MackToday · Answer

Ya I even had a biker chick chasing me once. I couldn't believe it, she's the last person on earth I would ever be interested in even to talk to but she was hung up on me. Weird af I'm not a thug in the slightest , I spend more time in books and tinkering than anything else. Made 0 sense to me. Unless I give off a thug vibe and don't know it but I hope not.

ariadneR · Answer

Same here. Not going to lie it does get frustrating, but I try and look for the silver lining.
Usually its narcissistic people, and people who like to take advantage of me.
However this time I'm lucky, and am with someone who wants nothing but the best for me.

StephenCF · Answer

For most of my life, the overweight girls gave me far more attention than the attractive ones I pursued 😒 On Tinder, I had far too many trannies expressing interest too (I blind-swipe, in case you ask why I’d right-swipe a trans woman in the first place) 🤮

19magic · Answer

It's happens many times all with guys who I was close friends with, I liked them but I had zero attraction to them and that's not to say I was pretty broken at the time. I think I can count on one hand the times I've genuinely liked a guy (and I wasn't drunk and slept with a random)... Okay two hands 6, whereas there's been at least 10 mostly who were close friends and then things got weird and they get clingy and I had to cut them off as it got too weird and over the top. It's probably what started helped me get depressed as I had good friends who sometimes would get too drunk and try things with me, while I just missed hanging out with them

cicchis0 · Answer

Of course! You can't choose who finds you attractive. I went to a gay bar with a female friend who likes going there to dance without being harassed by men, and it is only natural that the gay men there assume I'm gay. Some of them like the look of me and they approach me, and I have a hard time convincing them that I'm straight (it seems the easiest/nicest/most honest way to knock them back).

Avicenna · Answer

Oh, sure, it's hard. And when you sacrifice something to get what you want, it bites you on the butt. I love tall women and my last girlfriend was tall, but she was crazy. Just not worth it

magiusX26 · Answer

about all i get on dating apps, besides the scammers trying and failing, are the women just not what am into. the "precious" sized women often with a face closer to the dude known as beetlejuice from the howard stern show. had 1 looking like this try to sell it too. took awhile to stop both gagging and laughing (was on pof).

before someone rants am being picky about weight, let me say if she's much over the 125 pound i would be ok as long as she's at least 6 foot tall but 133 pounds at 5 foot is just a no. its about proportions.

Anonymous · Answer

Well yes constantly. I tend to attract men who are really put together on the surface, good job nice car etc. or who's really good looking and funny but underneath that surface has many mental health issues. It's like they can sniff me out and then they literally ask me to help them when we've dated for a while and they expect me to change their entire life for the better on my own while they don't need to take any responsibility. I give off the impression of being very sweet and kind and all that due to my shyness so they think that makes me qualify for someone who'll take care of them but really that's just shyness, i'm a pretty different person than what it seems based on that and I am not someone who to any degree enjoys taking care of anyone as I want a partner not a helpless baby. So that usually goes south pretty fast.

Marie132 · Answer

Yeah, I've attracted a few guys that I've been nice with thinking I was making friends :( until they start making pointed and creepy comments then I realise the intention and have to set them straight...
I feel super bad, as I didn't mean to make them feel it was more than friendship for me :/

Do you ever attract the people you're not into?

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