Guys, how do you feel about 'the friendzone', or being left in purgatory, wondering how the girl feels about you, or if she'll ever return feelings? (Page 3)
There's no such thing as being "just a friend" when it comes to the opposite sex. You're a prospect, benchwarmer, backup whatever you want to call it but you're still being given a chance. It doesn't matter what anyone says, you are still being given a shot regardless of what they say.
Is that a joke? If you're put in the friendzone, no woman has any intentioj of taking it anywhere. You aren't a benchwarmer, you are a friend. This is what ruins friendship between soo manh guys and girls. Is that y'all keep things like this in your mind
@SexyAshh you're wrong. That's all there is to it. If a woman isn't interested in you she either hates you or doesn't know you exist. If she's interested but doesn't know it or hasn't decided, friends zone.
Thats the stupidest thing i have ever heard. I would NEVER in a million years date any of my guy friends. And to call me wrong when im a girl and know, you're an idiot. Keep this mindset, gonna be forever single thinking this😂👍
@SexyAshh What the hell are you talking about? I don't want answers from you. I've got options right now, my bigger issues are dealing with whatever form of mental illness I have that prevents me from maintaining employment or friendships.
@SexyAshh Stop it, Ashh. My questions are meant to be constructive, not sew more gender and social discord. You can disagree with his thinking if you feel otherwise but don't attack or antagonize.
There are many different types of people in the world, and both of you being absolutist and using extremist language doesn't help anything.
@AmandaYVR you realize the conversation was over. And if choose to have an opinion, and try to help someone out who now makes total sense since they have clear mental issues, then i will. Freedom of speech? Get that? Dont like it, block me babe, and save me the work of having to do it to you. K thanks💋✌️
People’s first impression of you? "That im a total bitch. And for the most part its true." "I'm blunt. But people take it the wrong way." "I always find myself competing with both men and women, i want to always be the best of the best."
Freedom of speech my ass. Nasty is just nasty. So "no soup for you." You wanna be ostracized? Fine. Granted.
Hate being there but use it as a way to learn more about her. If that doesn't impress her hopefully you learned something you can use to make her boyfriend look like a loser
Once your in the friendzone, thats your forever place. Trying for more or to make her boyfriend look like a loser does nothing for us but think you're a good friend
I don't really "make moves".. Usually a girl would approach me and let me know in her own weirdo way that she thinks I'm pretty. I usually don't go for girls like that because most of them are just superficial
I can deal with anything but a non-answer. I've been rejected a lot. And i honestly don't see me asking another woman out ever again. It's just not worth it.
If it's a clear freindzoning forget her. If you are unsure hang for abit feel it out make a move see what happens. If there's no result ask her out or bail on the freindship or both.
We even put fewer letters in "no" to make it quicker and easier to say. I can't fathom why wemon in aggregate are not competent enough to say a two letter word! They're supposed to be the gender of "better communicators" too!
Okay, okay. But... 1. They don't know. They're still assessing the guy. Nervous, timid, all that. 2. They do know, and the answer's no, but they can't stand being that direct. They think it will hurt the guy more. Which I know is not true, and it wastes the guy's time and energy. But they see it as less harsh/more kind. 3. A select minority like the attention, the desire, the free meal here and there. They suck. Bad, bad, bad.
No, I'm not defending them, I'm merely listing some of the reasons. You'll notice the #3 is clearly very negative, defenceless. #2 is a very, very strong female belief/behaviour/preference of avoiding conflict and what they think is less hurtful to people. (They do this with peers, too. It's a judgement call that most men don't agree with. Females will get offended if others don't agree with them. They are about the appearance of support, not individualism.) To be clear, I understand both sides. I am constantly encouraging pinks to be more direct. They do not want to. It's incongruous to their natures. They need to learn, though. It doesn't have to be one or the other, but a compromise of two philosophies. #1... well yes, you can call it "poor judgement/indecisiveness", and it may well be. But it's also biology that's deeply ingrained. Guys can hurt girls, both physically and emotionally. They're more physically vulnerable, more emotionally sensitive, and as I said earlier, much more particular. And have more risk-aversion. So they don't enter into situations lightly, as easily. They also are more prone to 'overthinking.' They can spin their wheels so much, trying to decide all sorts of things, that they can become paralyzed in indecision, and that feels, to men, as stringing them along. And sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't.
I wrote this question to give men an opportunity to vent. And for the girls on the site to read what it is like, relationships, from men's perspective. But I also somewhat feel it's necessary to explain that not all avoidance is from one cause. Females are complicated. Every guy knows this. They don't have manuals, and there's a lot of specific differences, even when you figure out one, you've got the next one where all the same conclusions can't be applied. My point is, I sympathize with guys. I see many things that you go through. Men are more direct, and I love them for it. They also tend to put their foot in their mouths more often, but for the most part, I wish there could be more of a blending of both attitudes. I can't get the girls to interact more (you see, case in point, 0 pink standalone comments on here, for ex.) But I can get a lot of enjoyment out of interactions with men. You are keeping the dialogue open, not shutting down (you know, except for MGTOWs and all that.) And I commend you for that.
I'm not really that interested in those kinds of terms. They're reductionist and divisive. But it's your prerogative if you want to self-identify like that. I just listened, a few days ago, to a too-long podcast of INCELS and MGTOWS and their views on women and the dating landscape. (Not exactly because I wanted to, but to hear them out for a bit, and as my husband says, to try and understand people. Some of it was justified, but a lot of iss errant thinking and conclusions. They see a pattern, but the cause and effect is where it falls apart in some respects.) Anyway, isn't the typically accepted definition of an MGTOW a guy who has decided he no longer wants any romantic interaction with women? He's tired, fed up. You are talking here, but it's not my personal definition that "fixing things" is not on their list anymore. They're past that.
I don't waste my time with girls. If i like them, i just ask them out on the spot. If they say no, that's good because that would have been a girl that waste my time.
Yeah, sorry, I might have gone a little overboard with those. I just like to look at beautiful things too. (Always had a love of photography.) But it could definitely potentially cut more deeply with those beauties.
There is a waiting period after that nobody cares just move on there is nothing more to it it ain't no purgatory I guess just leave that we need to understand either leave the person or the thought
Its a judgement call If she's worth the effort then be patient you have your foot in the door and give her your best effort and see if there is any change if not it's your call if she's the one stay an fight the best fight you can and good luck
Clearly I am sympathetic, or I wouldn't have asked the question and allowed you guys to say your peace.
Guys can be evasive and vague too, no doubt about it, and I experienced them being noncommittal, but I do think it's far more an issue with girls, as they favour an indirect approach to communication.
You can ask. But the point is that many won't tell you anything definitive. You're thinking like a guy, not a girl. Girls are vague and circuitous, quite often.
If a girl only sees me as a friend, i simply move on & cut all contact with her. And i wouldn't stick around waiting to see what could happen in the future.
Cut her off immediately. If she is not willing to express her feelings why waste time with her? Equality only when it suits the woman is just hypocrisy.
Home > Dating > Polls > Guys, how do you feel about 'the friendzone', or being left in purgatory, wondering how the girl feels about you, or if she'll ever return feelings?
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There's no such thing as being "just a friend" when it comes to the opposite sex. You're a prospect, benchwarmer, backup whatever you want to call it but you're still being given a chance. It doesn't matter what anyone says, you are still being given a shot regardless of what they say.
Is that a joke? If you're put in the friendzone, no woman has any intentioj of taking it anywhere. You aren't a benchwarmer, you are a friend. This is what ruins friendship between soo manh guys and girls. Is that y'all keep things like this in your mind
@SexyAshh you're wrong. That's all there is to it. If a woman isn't interested in you she either hates you or doesn't know you exist. If she's interested but doesn't know it or hasn't decided, friends zone.
Thats the stupidest thing i have ever heard. I would NEVER in a million years date any of my guy friends. And to call me wrong when im a girl and know, you're an idiot. Keep this mindset, gonna be forever single thinking this😂👍
@SexyAshh what would you know?
you're literally a fucking joke😂 Cheers to you being single for life, chasing what DOSNT want you💋✌️🎉
@SexyAshh your entire gender has issues understanding their emotions and you call me a joke?
Maybe you should take it up the ass then. There, your problems are all solved🎉
@SexyAshh lol you're a moron. Got out of my comment thread.
You want answers and get mad when you get the truth. An entire existance of denial. Bye now✌️
@SexyAshh What the hell are you talking about? I don't want answers from you. I've got options right now, my bigger issues are dealing with whatever form of mental illness I have that prevents me from maintaining employment or friendships.
@SexyAshh Stop it, Ashh. My questions are meant to be constructive, not sew more gender and social discord.
You can disagree with his thinking if you feel otherwise but don't attack or antagonize.
There are many different types of people in the world, and both of you being absolutist and using extremist language doesn't help anything.
@AmandaYVR you realize the conversation was over. And if choose to have an opinion, and try to help someone out who now makes total sense since they have clear mental issues, then i will. Freedom of speech? Get that? Dont like it, block me babe, and save me the work of having to do it to you. K thanks💋✌️
@SexyAshh Hey, remember this?
People’s first impression of you?
"That im a total bitch. And for the most part its true."
"I'm blunt. But people take it the wrong way."
"I always find myself competing with both men and women, i want to always be the best of the best."
Freedom of speech my ass. Nasty is just nasty.
So "no soup for you." You wanna be ostracized? Fine. Granted.
Hate being there but use it as a way to learn more about her. If that doesn't impress her hopefully you learned something you can use to make her boyfriend look like a loser
Once your in the friendzone, thats your forever place. Trying for more or to make her boyfriend look like a loser does nothing for us but think you're a good friend
@SexyAshh I'm happy being just her friend, her best friend. I just like to bust his balls once in a while so he doesn't get too cocky.
I don't really "make moves".. Usually a girl would approach me and let me know in her own weirdo way that she thinks I'm pretty.
I usually don't go for girls like that because most of them are just superficial
Women usually do this to men that they are keeping as "backups" to their primary relationship. Fuck that.
I can deal with anything but a non-answer.
I've been rejected a lot. And i honestly don't see me asking another woman out ever again. It's just not worth it.
If it's a clear freindzoning forget her.
If you are unsure hang for abit feel it out make a move see what happens.
If there's no result ask her out or bail on the freindship or both.
I'm going with the red pill/MGTOW opinions that either yes or no, not gonna wait around to see if feelings develop ah hell nah!
We even put fewer letters in "no" to make it quicker and easier to say. I can't fathom why wemon in aggregate are not competent enough to say a two letter word! They're supposed to be the gender of "better communicators" too!
Okay, okay. But...
1. They don't know. They're still assessing the guy. Nervous, timid, all that.
2. They do know, and the answer's no, but they can't stand being that direct. They think it will hurt the guy more. Which I know is not true, and it wastes the guy's time and energy. But they see it as less harsh/more kind.
3. A select minority like the attention, the desire, the free meal here and there. They suck. Bad, bad, bad.
Are those defences?
1 - Poor judgement/indecisive
2 - Cowardice/patronisation
Or
3 - Narcissism
No, I'm not defending them, I'm merely listing some of the reasons.
You'll notice the #3 is clearly very negative, defenceless.
#2 is a very, very strong female belief/behaviour/preference of avoiding conflict and what they think is less hurtful to people. (They do this with peers, too. It's a judgement call that most men don't agree with. Females will get offended if others don't agree with them. They are about the appearance of support, not individualism.)
To be clear, I understand both sides. I am constantly encouraging pinks to be more direct. They do not want to. It's incongruous to their natures. They need to learn, though. It doesn't have to be one or the other, but a compromise of two philosophies.
#1... well yes, you can call it "poor judgement/indecisiveness", and it may well be. But it's also biology that's deeply ingrained. Guys can hurt girls, both physically and emotionally. They're more physically vulnerable, more emotionally sensitive, and as I said earlier, much more particular. And have more risk-aversion. So they don't enter into situations lightly, as easily.
They also are more prone to 'overthinking.' They can spin their wheels so much, trying to decide all sorts of things, that they can become paralyzed in indecision, and that feels, to men, as stringing them along. And sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't.
I wrote this question to give men an opportunity to vent. And for the girls on the site to read what it is like, relationships, from men's perspective.
But I also somewhat feel it's necessary to explain that not all avoidance is from one cause.
Females are complicated. Every guy knows this. They don't have manuals, and there's a lot of specific differences, even when you figure out one, you've got the next one where all the same conclusions can't be applied.
My point is, I sympathize with guys. I see many things that you go through.
Men are more direct, and I love them for it. They also tend to put their foot in their mouths more often, but for the most part, I wish there could be more of a blending of both attitudes.
I can't get the girls to interact more (you see, case in point, 0 pink standalone comments on here, for ex.) But I can get a lot of enjoyment out of interactions with men. You are keeping the dialogue open, not shutting down (you know, except for MGTOWs and all that.) And I commend you for that.
I am a MGTOW... Do you get the impression MGTOW don't want to talk or fix things? Sounds like more of a black pill angle.
I'm not really that interested in those kinds of terms. They're reductionist and divisive.
But it's your prerogative if you want to self-identify like that.
I just listened, a few days ago, to a too-long podcast of INCELS and MGTOWS and their views on women and the dating landscape. (Not exactly because I wanted to, but to hear them out for a bit, and as my husband says, to try and understand people. Some of it was justified, but a lot of iss errant thinking and conclusions. They see a pattern, but the cause and effect is where it falls apart in some respects.)
Anyway, isn't the typically accepted definition of an MGTOW a guy who has decided he no longer wants any romantic interaction with women? He's tired, fed up. You are talking here, but it's not my personal definition that "fixing things" is not on their list anymore. They're past that.
For us the boat has sailed sure but that doesn't mean we don't want to repair things for the next generation of men.
Oh, that's actually really nice to hear. 👌🕊 I'm not sure you're typical, but I appreciate the sentiment.
I think if you're in the purgatory you're speaking of, it's your own fault, cause you can just ask and tell them that you want more.
Friend zone sucks but you can get out of it any time.
I don't waste my time with girls. If i like them, i just ask them out on the spot. If they say no, that's good because that would have been a girl that waste my time.
Given the photos you included with the question, I'd probably be pretty disappointed to be terminally friendzoned.
Yeah, sorry, I might have gone a little overboard with those.
I just like to look at beautiful things too. (Always had a love of photography.)
But it could definitely potentially cut more deeply with those beauties.
There is a waiting period after that nobody cares just move on there is nothing more to it it ain't no purgatory I guess just leave that we need to understand either leave the person or the thought
I take it personally and it tears me to pieces but I don’t let them know that.
With most girls, it’s avoid like the plague. I have to much respect for myself.
I don't like being left in the Friendzone after I start dating a Girl / Woman
Its a judgement call
If she's worth the effort then be patient you have your foot in the door and give her your best effort and see if there is any change if not it's your call if she's the one stay an fight the best fight you can and good luck
Well flip the roles around and then ask yourself that... Would you like being in that position?
Clearly I am sympathetic, or I wouldn't have asked the question and allowed you guys to say your peace.
Guys can be evasive and vague too, no doubt about it, and I experienced them being noncommittal, but I do think it's far more an issue with girls, as they favour an indirect approach to communication.
Honestly I just ask. You won't get anywhere not asking. Yolo
You can ask. But the point is that many won't tell you anything definitive.
You're thinking like a guy, not a girl.
Girls are vague and circuitous, quite often.
Welp it's not like I'm short on options, snooze n lose 😜
If a girl only sees me as a friend, i simply move on & cut all contact with her. And i wouldn't stick around waiting to see what could happen in the future.
Any guy claiming to be stuck in the friend zone should be euthanized.
Ouch.
Cut her off immediately. If she is not willing to express her feelings why waste time with her? Equality only when it suits the woman is just hypocrisy.