I'm 18 and I never be in a relationship before because every time I like someone, they never like me back but if there's someone interested in me, I don't like him. I also an introvert girl, shy, insecure, and quiet. I always consider myself ugly and fat, I am so insecure. I always think that I am gonna be single for the rest of my life because it is my destiny. I know I have a lot of time to find a boyfriend cuz I'm still 18. But right now, I feel so hopeless and accept the fact that I will be single forever. So, I decided to want to be single, not married, not having a kid and dying alone.
I don't put myself out there. I sometimes see attractive women, but it's usually only when I'm driving or through my apartment window. So I can't approach them. And even then, in this day and age, you don't even know if a women wants to be approached. So there's this fear factor that you're going to come off as a creep if you try because she's afraid of strangers or that you wind up being too old for you, or you won't know what to say, or that you'll get rejected and be fodder for her to make fun of you with her friends, or she's already taken. It seems like there's so many "rules" that it makes meeting someone very difficult. And the interest that I may have gotten from women has never really been overt. It's more like I'll catch a girl looking at me from time to time, which we all know means nothing.
Then there's online dating. I've been on seven different dating sites/apps in 11 years and have gotten absolutely nowhere; just a lot of unread messages. So maybe I'm just ugly. Hard to say.
Maybe if I carpet-bombed approached women daily and stopped caring about what they thought then maybe I'd have better luck. But I don't so here we are.
I'm still single because although I want a relationship I don't like being told what to do. When people meet me they like me and say they enjoy spending time with me, but then always want to convince me to change my life. Apparently its not good enough. I need to be wearing more make up, doing my hair differently, I need to be driving and only driving an expensive car. I need to be looking to move into a house or penthouse apartment, my job isn't good enough, or I should be utilising my first income for a second or third. I am not wearing enough designer, or in not going to the best celebrity clubs.
I'm not holidaying at the best hotels.
If my life is so mediocre why date me to begin with?
Yes I want more but why do I have to suddenly kill myself and be something that I'm not!
When I don't do those things that person becomes incredibly neglectful and really hurtful. Because I'm not worthy of love leading the life I currently have. Please bare in mind the person never talks about what we need to improve on... Always me!
Because I don't feel like putting in the effort to pursue a relationship, only to wind up hurt, disappointed, rejected, friendzoned, or lied to like I have in the past.
Dating sucks y'all! And I dare anyone to say otherwise. And as you get older, it only gets worse because your options get smaller and more limited. I live in a small town: that's one strike against me. The few men my age are already married or taken, or moved away to bigger cities and states due to the economy and lack of social scene here. The few remaining single men aren't interested in me: that's strike two. So unless I move or do dating apps... neither of which I'm in the mood for right now, my dating options are VERY limited.
I'm not saying I'm giving up on dating completely. I just don't feel like investing any time and energy in it right now.
That and I realized I'm happier single than I am trying to pursue a relationship.
I’m somewhat nervous to share my response, though I shouldn’t be. The reason to why I may be single, I don’t know.. I chose the wrong people in my life, not good for me. I had to step back and ask myself if I’m the manipulating one. But people tell me I have this good heart. How I’m such a genuine person, and it makes me sad sometimes. The people I’ve been with have seen that. Dating is hard! I’m in this weird talking phase with this guy who flirts with me every day. We have sex and all. He’s admit his feelings to me. We both like each other, and now it’s like... What exactly are we now? To get back to your question with an answer, I also believe I’m bluntly spoken. I will not hide an opinion. If something is on your shirt, I’ll tell you. I also show my emotions very well, and I have such RBF sometimes. I heard that sometimes I don’t look interested in something when I am. With this guy I’m talking to, he thought the same until he communicated with me. Now we totally express our feelings out loud. Show affection and etc.
I honestly don't even know at this point. I'm not super shy anymore, I go to college, work 2 jobs, im athletic, im tall, I have a good friend group, im a nice person, I have a good personality, I'm at least decent looking because I have had a couple of random hook ups. But when it comes to gettin mutual feelings from a girl it NEVER happens! Even the few girls that I've kissed or hooked up with nothing ever pans out. It always goes south for me. I just don't know how relationships get started anymore or how they even happen. I just get the feeling that it's just not meant to be because there's no reason why it should be this hard. I just want 1 girl just 1 to have the same feelings as me but I can't even get that. It's just super frustrating 😒
Hold on timeout look we've all gone through this first Walt stop beating yourself up I'm sure you're beautiful I'm sure you're fine with covid-19 for the last past year what do you expect I mean I can't even go out and meet anybody and that drives me crazy see if I would have known this last year about you I could have been sending you messages talking with you and getting all this bull crap out of your head you have to understand something you're where you're at right now because that's where you want to be when you don't want to be that way anymore you will change it call Choice you have that choice to make do you talk with guys on the internet if it's yes that's your choice if you do that your choice do you meet people at any given day if Lisa's you're at if not that's your choice if so that's your choice once you start making choices and you start learning from them that's when you start growing and choices become easier and better
1) lack of females in my life so no candidates to even find a partner among.
2) never really been a priority
3) I don't play the games women wants me too, so they assume I am not interested since they can't wrap me around their fingers. Ie still haven't meet a woman who straight and forward and not hiding behind test and manipulations.
4) Or it's just been really bad timing. Ie it's been in parts of my life where I already have plans to move for the next opportunity.
5) but most off all I have nothing in common with women, every woman I meet who I talked to had so extremely boring and lacking life that they simply must waste all their free time on tv and social media. Or they are extremely afraid of mentioning that they have hobbies.
I am a shy , quiet girl just like you , when I was 18 and very insecure , I got with the first man who wanted me. Turns out though he didn’t really want me , he wanted to abuse me and control me. I’ve been single for awhile now so I can focus on loving myself and healing from that relationship. Focus on bettering yourself and loving yourself , somebody will come. It’s important to know what you deserve and not take anything less than that just because of loneliness. Your time will come , don’t worry about it 💜
I am not single right now. when I was 18, I was single. I was happy and busy being single. I had guys who wanted to date me, I was not ready, not mature, not wanting, or caring to date. I was busy with school, life, getting myself to college, taking cafe of my little sister and worked a part time job. It was a time for me to learn, grow. I become more mature and saw the bigger world in college. Then met my first boyfriend. that didn’t work, I took 4 years off and continue to leanr, grow. Met my husband. take your time. Build a fulfill life, that special one will come join you in your journey.
When I was younger I wanted to understand the world better. I wanted to learn why things work like they do. I wanted to see the world and meet new people. To learn about life and what it has to offer. Now I am older and wiser and can be a lot better partner for someone in life. The reason why you're single is your mentality, the world seems to have an image for you that is considered beauty that men and women alike can't match. You can find love, what I am reading is men don't try to be romantic in a hookup culture. I think you can find love it starts with taking care of yourself. Find peace in life first then you will find some happiness. You are young so you feel like you have to rush into something. Make friends, experience life, figure out yourself and what you actually want.
the real reason I´m still single that I have to problems: 1. I´m a control freak meaning I´m not controlling other people I just try to plan my life every second I have. I don´t do things spontanously, I just do things I could think and work through before I´m doing them. I´m no guy that falls in love spontaneously and if I do I take time to think about it for quite some time so that I´m not sure at the end if I just like her for some reason or if I fell in love with her. 2. I´m not good at starting conversations. If I ever have a relationship it must be a relationship with a woman who started our conversation. That doesn´t mean that she needs to ask me out it just means that she start the contact. 3. I´ve been played with and had bad experiences with females in the past concerning questions of trust and respect for my red flags. That made me building up a trust problem towards women. I´m trying to work on that but it takes time to do so.
Because I have a dual personality. I appear charming, SWEET, nice, interesting, caring, mature, guide them and complement them so they always think that i'm the most unique girl in their life and they try to win me. It upsets me that they are only falling for my positive traits. They haven't seen my dark side but fortunately my dark side depends on how much they love me. Only a rare guy will see the MINIMUM of my dark side. I also am very judgmental about the change in their tone, behavior, who they meet with, i demand TRANSPARENCY or else I'll never trust them and will end up disrespecting them, I'm emotionally dependent, bossy, demanding attention, needs proof for their love, short tempered if I start doubting their love and clingy also. I have a habit of raising my voice or talk in an aggressive tone when I feel misunderstood or simply cranky.
Since guys fuck down but don't marry down, like most girls and young women, you have unrealistic standards and chase after the hottest guys that will fuck you and reject guys within your league that would marry you. More often than not, after a few to a dozen or more going nowhere relationships women realize that to get married they much find a guy that will marry them and not just fuck them.
However, by then, they near thirty, have lost their bloom, and are no longer the sexy young thing they were from ages 18 to 22 so the men they could have when they were 10 years younger, no longer want them. At age 30 (not at age 20) women look around as ask, "Where have all the good men gone." Of course they men are still there but they want what the women were when they were twenty; not the hides they have become.
I don’t drive, just about every girl gives me reasons on why their won’t date me. First they give me racial restrictions like I only date blacks, mexicans and etc then they weight restrictions and they still reject no matter what weight your at. After that then it’s the type of boys they want like I only or I need my assholes, jerks, dickheads and etc again if you try changing that they still reject you then after all that crap then the smallest rejections would start like I only date guys with beards, long beards, blonde hairs and etc. still no matter who I am they still reject me.
My Most common rejects are not having any licenses and racial rejections
Because I loved this girl who turned out to be really covertly nasty and abusive, she fucked with my head and my self esteem, so when I finally ditched her and she refused to let me go, I decided I would focus my time on bettering myself and building my boundaries with others.
First, because it's not a priority. I'm fat and ugly. I'm toosocially freaking awkward. Being commitedis waaaay too much responsibility for me. I'm not looking for it. I enjoy being single. No one likes me lol. I also don't like anyone. l just have crushes. loI. I feel like as ateenager I should precious this momentand do whatever I want freely because after this adulthood just comes in quickly. And I feel like being in a relationship I won't be able to do what I want. Also, why arepeople my age so desperate to have aa partner like whv?
If I may make a suggestion (Which you can obviously ignore if you wish)
Why are you overthinking this? People spend so much time mapping out their lives they forget to actually live for the present. A wise person once told me, you are far better to live and make mistakes than to never live without making any. They were so right.
Because I don't really try so much when it comes to it.
I'm insecure, I'd be nervous and I think that because guys generally approach, it would just be so typical to go up to a girl and talk to her, I mean I'd just assume she's got it so many times before and I'm nothing special compared to other guys.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Do you really wanna know? Ok fine.
1. I work a night shift job 5 days a week that keeps me from having any kind of social life
2. The mass majority of women in my area are either crazy, alcoholics, drug addicts or already in a relationship.
3. I have almost no confidence in relationships as all I ever see are couples being nasty to each other.
4. But most of all I am not fond of the idea of intentionally bringing unnecessary drama in my life and as far as I can tell, that is something that too many females bring to the table in one form or another.
I'm also doing a night shift job, and concerning your social life I think it could be better depending on how you manage your sleep. Most people that do night shifts sleep after the shift, and some do before. I personally slit my sleep, so I sleep in two periods, one period before work and another period after, this way I don't miss the major parts of a day (to be exact, I sleep from 8 pm to 11 pm, and from 8am to 12). experiment!
I find that I'm not attracted to a lot of people at all. There's a limited pool for me with people I can date, and almost no one I find attractive returns those feelings.
I know it's not my standards, they're pretty low actually. It's just that I don't know too many people.
