
Were you ever crushed emotionally and physically from a break up?

The initial 'infatuation' and the 'romance' of a relationship forges a neurological chemical 'addiction' of a sorts.
Your 'Beloved's attention & conduct becomes the 'keys' to your onboard narcotic 'medicine cabinet' where highly addictive 'bonding' Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin are dispensed. Their very mere presence triggers a heightening euphoria and rosy sense of well-being completeness... JUST LIKE OPIUM.
So... the MORE emotionally-'invested' you become and are... the HIGHER your Euphoria.
Correspondingly, especially if the stimulus of your image of "the Beloved" is suddenly removed and beyond your control... so goes the neurological drugs! Accompanied by a harsh 'cold turkey' withdrawal detox.
WHICH IS... 'why' there occur what are termed 'rebound' relationships
(seeking to generate a surrogate 'key' to your mental medicine cabinet.
Never QUITE as 'good' as... your lost 'love' but somewhat 'cushions' your Addict 'withdrawal' pains.)
The 'higher' your former Euphoria the DEEPER and LONGER
the resulting depression from those drugs absence!
I speak from firsthand experience...
having achingly slowly 'detox'-ed from the loss of the Love of my Life from 1987.
I deliberately relocated from the small N. E. city where she lived, to avoid re-opening old wounds
and today we sometimes e-mail one another as sort of 'friends'.
In her maturing years, she's written that she'd been wrong. Apologizing.
You BITE your tongue as your hand caresses the scars of your emotional road-rash
stifling the urge of: "I TOLD YOU SO... it needn't have BEEN this way!"
But, some forty years later... 'wisdom' puts down the torch I'd carried; THAT 'ship has sailed' .
Nevertheless, NOTHING can take back our five tumultuous years and the memories of 109 times we shared physical intimacies.
Ladies, NEVER forget that a man who truly deeply cares...
will NEVER forget the 'first impression' you made.
The outfit you wore, ... the scent of your fragrance, ... the timber and cadence of your voice---
Beautiful read. Thank you for sharing.
@myloveisroses One of the privileges of ageing IS... for those insightful ENOUGH, there need be NO reason to repeat Other's hard life lessons FIRSTHAND.
'Wisdom' is the gift given by Those who SURVIVE poor judgements; SOME mistakes are 'terminal'. ~
Yup. Only once. I had girlfriends from the time I was 16. When I was 37 I lived for over a year with the most amazing woman ever. She was 31. She not only fit my physical ideal and was hypersexual, uninhibited and orgasmic, but I loved everything else about her. I loved her with my heart and soul and she loved me. She changed my life. My time with her was a peak experience.
We had a breakup, though. After a few years of processing, I came to the conclusion that it was probably my fault although we both had issues. It wasn't an acrimonious breakup. I didn't understand what had happened at the time.
Anyway, I felt like my guts had been kicked out. I felt nearly nauseous at times. It took me a year to start getting myself back together.
She did call me after while and made overtures about getting back together, but at the time I didn't feel that we could ever make it as life partners and I felt that, if we did get back together, which I desperately wanted to, we would inevitably break up again. I actually didn't think I could survive a second breakup with her.
She wound up moving out of state. Years later, she found me on Facebook. We reconnected and even spoke a few times. It was wonderful hearing her voice.
About five years after that, I heard that she had passed away from a sudden medical problem at the age of 56. I was devastated. There is a hole in my heart that will never heal. I will never stop loving her and will never forget her.
Wow that I felt that one man.
Break-ups, rejections, being ghosted... you name it. Been there, done that... thinking about it just makes me bitter, cynical (moreso than I already am), and hate the thought of trying to date again.
I've been emotionally scarred way more than I was physically crushed- the former in my opinion is worse. Because when someone emotionally hurts you, it makes it harder to not only move on and get over said person, but to open up to someone new in the future because you're afraid they'll crush you too.
We can't worry about if we can trust someone that they won't' hurt us. We can only trust that we will be able to handle it if they do.
Unfortunately after my last break up I trust no one. I no longer believe in love. I'd rather be alone with a puppy and a goldfish than let another man into my heart. Been there. Done that. Wrote a postcard. I'm good my dog
@acolbert020 What kind of dog you getting?
@acolbert020 Dogs are less stress, drama, and heartache than humans. Not to mention loyal. See @coachTanthony, she gets it!
Still waiting to see pics of this magical dog that is so much better then humans.
From a break up, no.. From the death of my husband.. Yes
No doubt!
@karaspara thank you💛🤗
Opinion
50Opinion
Yep. There are some break ups you can be okay from & successfully move on from.
Others on the other hand,... unfortunately when you are too emotionally & physically deep in with someone whom you once very deeply cared about & had a very, very deep bond & connection with,... I'm sorry for saying this, but once you do get impacted from a terrible break up, that impacts you very deeply hard that those memories of that person plagues you to no end, you end up having emotional baggage for a very long time & to that breaking point where you just can't get over it, let it go & move on. I'm sorry for saying that but it's true. Either you can but it won't happen right away. it's just going to take months or years, or you just can't. Once you do get terribly crushed by that break up impact,... it does change you. I know it changed me & there are times or more than enough times I feel like I don't like the kind of person I became.
If anything I hope this video clarifies things up for you. I know it did for me.
Yes. My ex was fucking another guy behind my back for a year while I was working to support her and my kid. She only admitted to cheating when she told me I had to get an std test and even then that it was only once and not with the guy she's with now who she said was " just a friend", a guy I caught her with charging up her car battery.
Anyway she tried to get me to come back and I was honestly considering but caught her at his house. Turns out she did the same with a previous boyfriend.
she's butthurt at me for dumping her even though she was planning to do thd same with me when she was monkey branching. She also as it turns out was beating our son and I had to call social services so she's mad about that too.
She's now with the other guy and though it hurts I look at it that the best she could do was a 50 year old weasel who give her an STD and let some guy rape his daughter.
Frankly speaking coach... as a shy guy... who always wanted to confront his feelings... to the girls he likes... But never had a courage to say that... have disturbed me a lot... mentally... Here my friends never had an problem chatting with girls... and approach to them... girls they like...
And i am just looking them and being happy for them... But i know i can't express my feelings... how much i do have broken me 2 times... Emotionally...
You are only 24 you can still work on your communication skills. As a dating coach I work with many clients one on one which is no big deal but when I suddenly got asked to speak at conferences and had to go on stage in front of hundreds sometimes thousands of people I had to learn how to do that because I was never a "speaker." I had to actually get help with that where many speakers could just get up on stage and have no issues. We all have to have self awareness to see our weaknesses and improve those over time no matter what they are.
I have worked with many guys who have had trouble talking to girls. The number 1 reason for most of them was because they put an "outcome" on the conversation. Guys who have no trouble talking to women just simply don't care if it goes anywhere. They are there to simply have fun and to add value to someone else's life. One of the things I tell my male clients is go out and talk to women as a data experiment. Don't have any romantic outcomes attached. Just talk to them over and over again. until you get comfortable. There is no reason to be nervous if you are outcome independent with the interaction. I would try that.
When a great woman left because I ran from the relationship, I would say both of us were hurt emotionally.
In the next relationship, I left, and she was hurt emotionally, and I assumed she tried to hurt herself physically because of it.
I guess my lesson here is to speak your mind before there the relationship starts, other wise you'll become a yes man, and the longer it goes, the bigger the break up, and the heavier the trauma.
Exactly. I think everyone who gets into a relationship at some point should go to therapy for preventative measures. Funny how everyone goes when there is only a problem.
So true!
I was emotionally and physically crushed after a breakup 5 months ago and I only taught about revenge and started to think " I'm going to make him, Miss what he lost" so after that I lost 15 pounds doing excercise and eating healthier. And Now I am thankful of the break up because it made me who I am today. Needing no guys in my life anymore and focus on what's more important, ME.
Yes. i was really confused why i had no appetite , had a headache all the time, couldn’t sleep, had very bad chest pain and felt like my throat was all swollen. Apparently its a sign of “broken heart syndrome”, i searched up later on. I was dealing with a break up after all, it really crushed me. Lost around 15lbs in 2weeks so i was really really skinny. Luckily after a month it got better and i could properly eat again etc. But those physical symptoms really concerned me.
Don’t worry the dude who let you go is regretting it now.
I always took it more emotionally than physically. The worst thing that happened physically was when I lost a lot of sleep after a falling out with a woman I really liked that was a mutual friend of me and my first ex. Had a lot. in common with her and good chemistry, so when it backfired in the long run, it really left me hurt and drained.
I have of course been in relationships that either didn't work out for whatever reason, or the relationship had just run its course over time. Normally I don't feel "crushed emotionally" but one time in my mid-thirties I was dating a new lady and it was going real well. But suddenly the relationship was over and she didn't want to date any longer with no reason given. I think what bothered me that much was the fact that it had been going so well. (I found out later that she had reconciled with an ex-boyfriend and went back to him.) So yeah sometimes our emotions can get to us!
Yes, going through one right now actually. I felt so sick that it’s been hard to eat. I eat what I can as to not starve myself but it’s difficult. I wake up every morning after having good dreams of the relationship and wishing that I hadn’t woken up. To say that I’m crushed would be an understatement.
Not physically, but definitely emotionally. Thought my ex and I had perfect chemistry. We were similar in pretty much every category... interests, views, goals, sense of humor, way of communicating, etc. And then she left because she gave me a timeline to get my shit together and move out with her. It's fair... she has her own standards, but I don't agree with it and believe in through thick or thin. Tore me up for quite a while. Been almost 7 months since then. I think I'm over it now, but it took me a while to come to terms with it.
Emotionally, probably from a relationship she didn't give me the chance to be a role in honestly. We just didn't work out I guess. It is what it is so I cut my losses, but I felt unfair.
Physically? This one bitch tried to kill me. True story.
I was a late bloomer, first relationship at 35 (i was a 35yr old virgin, had done nothing, not even a kiss). Relationship was whirlwind, real emotional rollercoaster over coming year of pent up anxieties. We very quickpy fell pregnant, she ended it, and miscarried. From losing virginty to miscariage was about 9 weeks. So many conflicting emotions, it really did affect me greatly.
At my last year of high school, i broke up with my ex before exams and it was too hard for me, she was the only one who i talk to at this period and i felt good and away from my fears and stress, and suddenly she left me because she saw it was useless to stay in a relationship with me, and i lost my trust in girls and i tried to stay away from all of this stuffs until i move on and feel good again.
O f course but I am a man and I will never admit it.:) I gave up on relationships because of the last one. I thought we had something special but she had things she wanted to accomplish. I set her free and have not seen or heard from her since. There was an age difference and there were things she wanted to do and see.
Yeah my divorce ripped me open and sent me on a crash downwards.
the following year was one of pain and abuse.
I have some friends like that suffered the same thing.
Nope, in all my relationships I was lucky enough to gradually slow things down and end up in good terms. No abrupt or drastic break ups, and no surprises where things started to deteriorate with time and without noticing what was happening.
Not a break up but I was rejected by my crush in middle school. I guess I didn’t know how to handle it so I went home and told my brother... anyway I couldn’t stop crying while I was telling him and I ended up hyperventilating and passing out. It was embarrassing.
I have been yes, emotionally as I became depressed for about four months and during that Time lost a lot of weight as I wasn’t eating properly :( I am finally trying to get that weight back now and move on from my ex but it did hit me hard
Yeah. I was in deep despair for months. It only started to get better when I cut all ties and moved abroad. I think naturally a part of me was running away from my problems and hoping they’d magically disappear.
I was from a rejection once. Which is what taught me you either ask her out quickly or not at all. Because in my mind we were already going out with all the banter and whatnot. Asking her out was just a formality in my mind. I didn't realize she had no interest in me. Or most guys for that matter. I was just her favorite game.
I've worked very hard to NOT feel anything towards any woman now. And I advise most guys to do the same. Women know when they got you. And they WILL use it as a weapon against you. Rule #1 always be in control of your feelings. Don't ever let a woman get a hold of them!
Yes I was crushed in everyway imaginable , it really a fucked up thing to have to go through and it hurts like hell ESp if you loved that person it hurts even worsen
Not really. I always tried to shake it as it's their loss, then buy a new car to help ease the pain. Dad always said: "There are some things a new car can do for you a woman just can't!" Pops, you were SOOOOOOOOO right. However, you forgot to warn me about the insurance jump when you go from a Corolla to a Mustang!
Yes. The first two times destroyed me.
After that, I hardly felt a thing.
The first two lying, scheming, unfaithful females hurt me so much that they left me all but incapable of feeling love for a woman.
Yeah, really badly in my last relationship. I was engaged and it was my first ever real relationship. Life goes on though.
Coming home early and seeing cars in the driveway and sneaking around back to seeing my 1st wife with 2 guys. That was physically painful to see.
I was too weak then to process or fix it. It took a while to divorce her.
Yes I was with a Narc and the aftermath left me unable to eat so I lost 50 pounds in 3 months almost died. Now I have health problems from the abuse, but emotionally i'm in a better place most days
Yeah at 16 but it wasn’t a real relationship though even though he asked me to be his girlfriend we never even held hands and he broke up with me that shit crushed me he was also dating a new girl shortly after
Yes for 2 years, depressive. Worst period of my life ever
I did feel a physical pain in my chest once... never thought it would be like that
Emotional trauma can definitely affect your body in crazy ways.
No. I regretted some things but it was far away from emotional and physical crash.
My long distance boyfriend broke up with me today and I feel low as hell. I feel like I go underwater for few days and get out after a year or something.. like I gotta stay underwater.. aaaaaaaa my heart. So much pain. :(
Yes, a few times but now I don't even remember who I was all butt hurt over. I. e. it's no big deal.
@coulis 🤗😘
Yeah
I used to watch that show as a kid lol. And a tween.
I have been heartbroken before, but physically, besides from a little nausea one time , nah.
Yes, and what helped was a rebound relationship to make me feel better. To fill that void and to have someone to talk to.
Not heart broken but somewhat crazy. I called her like 100 times. Well she was married so IDC but at the time I was crazy lol
Yeah, 3 years later I still wonder if she ever cared about me. Destroyed my self worth and trust, I was a doormat.
When I was younger I wasn't confident & really nerdy TBH. I didn't bloom until later. The only one that remotely touched me was the first; nothing ever came close after that one.
The only times I’d felt emotionally is physically wiped out is when they said they were super into me, but turned out they were playing me for attention.
I just wanna say if you make that face a lot you're gonna look old fast.
My break up last year crushed me because i didn't expect it.
Yes but I learned a lot about myself during that journey.
Absolutely, multiple times I've been so wrecked by a breakup that I could barely function for weeks
Yes... as they say, Love Hurts. and then you fall in Love again. eventually, we all die and that's No picnic
1st.. Love the photo. Dawson Leery did no justice with Joey went with his best friend..
But I digress... the ex from a year ago destroyed me
uhm yes many times after i turned 20. lol i didn't take relationships seriously before the age of 20, but after that age, yes i was crushed multiple times emotionally only.
Weird thing is I always had delayed reactions. In the moment it wasn’t the end the world but it everything seemed to slam into me a few weeks later.
Not possible, I'm a psychopath, I don't feel feelings
I've never been physically crushed in a breakup.
Never had a break up, so je ne sais pas 🤷♂️
yes.. and i look just like that pic too😵😵
Yes. And im glad there are no stills of my face the day I got the bad news.
Yes more than once but we go again
@karaspara 🤗🥰😘
No I've never been into a relationship
Yes, but happily I have options.
No, but boyfriend had a “mental breakdown” from my break up last night.
My last breakup fucked me up for like two and a half years even though it only lasted for one.
If it lasted a year or more DEFINITELY!!!
Yes 7 1/2 years later
First time I ever loved I almost died.