Am I a bad person for dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend?

Question

I feel disgusting and guilty. My boyfriend is the most nicest, beautifully-souled person. A few nights ago I had this awful dream of me having sex with some random guy. I woke up crying with this gut-wrenching, stomach twisting feeling. I keep thinking about it even a few days later. No I haven’t told my boyfriend. I don’t want to damper our relationship with some nightmare I had. Just how could I dream something like that? I feel like I have actually cheated on my boyfriend even though I didn’t. I know it’s silly, but the guilt is eating me up.
I want to eventually marry my boyfriend and have kids with him and build a life with him. He is the one for me and I can't imagine myself dating anyone else. I just feel horrible. I could never imagine cheating on him in real life, that’s why I am so confused with that dream. Can someone please offer me some useful advice to get over this guilt? Breaking up with my boyfriend is not an option at all. I am very happy in our relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well dreams are dreams. They don't necessarily "mean" anything and they can be whatever you imagine them to be. I had a dream the other night I was a woman being attacked. Obviously I'm not a woman! LOL. For me though I think it "meant" (if any meaning to it) that I was feeling vulnerable and not in control, which is very true right now. For you, maybe this means this guys ISN'T "perfect" for you? I'd really give that some serious thought before considering marriage. He can be a wonderful guy and you can love him, but that doesn't mean he's for you. Maybe the sex isn't great, or maybe it is, but there's a side of you that he can't satisfy? Give it some thought.

FR_Ruby · Accepted Answer

I think it's just your body's fault. It's probably just because you were aroused in your sleep. You can't really control your dream unless it's a lucid dream so unexpected things might happen in your brain with a random mish-mash of your memories. I think you should just take care of yourself before you sleep and accept that random thoughts might occur at night but they often mean nothing.

ohshee · Answer

Come on you can't be that bad why are you so guilty you didn't do anything you just thought about it you didn't act on it but I think what it really is dude is that you really really want to do that I think you'd want to do it so bad you can taste it you can feel it. There's a part of you that's just not happy and you're coming closer and closer to just doing it and I think that's what you might feel guilty about is that true you don't have to be honest you can say anything you want or if you don't want to put it out on there send me a message or smoke signals something I'm just curious about a couple things anyway

Hanrej · Answer

There's no need to feel bad, especially given your reaction to the dream. If you enjoyed it on the other hand, you have some hard questions to ask yourself.

My best advice, talk to your boyfriend about it. It will feel better and based on what you've written here he sounds like somone who'd just laugh and reassure you.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Oh, I thought you meant, like you were desiring to cheat on your boyfriend. You cannot help what you dream. Don't tell your boyfriend he doesn't want to know. Forget it and move on, unless you found it tempting and desirable, then you have a problem. Don't dwell on it, it will happen again.
I have horrible dreams. Pretty much, nightmares are my default dreams. You just forget them and move on, they are not trying to tell you something.

ToastyOats · Answer

Look into lucid dreaming if your really upset about it. The spiritual aspect of our lives is really misunderstood because many people are not comfortable with it. If your feeling bad, its because you sense that there is a way to keep your self control in dreaming also. Try it, it will grow you as a person.

Reyow · Answer

Yes, the hell is wrong with you go talk to a consular about it cuz if you are thinking that you will only do him harm WHEN you do it. Not IF, but WHEN. And honestly if i was him and have the same mental health issues i have my SO cheating on me would probably be the last push id need to off myself.

Truthatanycost · Answer

'My boyfriend is the most nicest, beautifully-souled person' After reading that part, it's only a matter of time before dreams turn into reality...

SamFromFL · Answer

Ever been on a diet and dreamed of eating something yummy? Same principle applies here. Just get the guilt out of your head and think of other more important things.

DaveToo · Answer

Your dreams are your own personal property. Some dream of dying in a skydiving accident, yet have never skydived. You aren't cheating on your S/O, you're fantasizing, and fantasizing is the spice that keeps a relationship healthy.

dillbill561 · Answer

From this I have gotten two. Ok one you cannot control your emotions very much. This will cause you to cheat on your lover, fulfilling the nightmare. I’m sorry for you both

Anonymous · Answer

dreams are usually our unconscious and subconscious way of telling us something is wrong and we need to change something in our lives and dreams help us cope with troubling situations. you need to sit down and talk to him about anything that may be troubling you in your relationship with him

Jlegacy · Answer

I'd say this, life is spiritual. If one breaks spiritual laws, there are consequences. For instance do you watch porn? Do you read sex novels... all of these can be responsible for erotic dreams.

exitseven · Answer

No, everyone has weird dreams. The sub conscious mind has a lot of things going on and it probably has nothing to do with your boyfriend.

Massageman · Answer

No. I would have been dead along time ago if I take my dreams totally seriously. They are just your brain's way of sorting through things.

Anonymous · Answer

Being someone who was horribly cheated on for 6 months by a long term girlfriend and it absolutely destroyed my soul. I would NEVER suggest anyone put someone through the heartache and torture of doing that to them.

Diversity_Hire · Answer

It was a dream, something you can't consciously control, don't fret.

slatyb · Answer

It's just a dream. Forget about it.

zagor · Answer

No, just if you do cheat.

anylolone · Answer

You had a dream, woman, calm down.

Fuentes · Answer

Everyone has cheating dreams doesn't mean its real

James_Likes_PPL · Answer

Yes. Yes you are.

Am I a bad person for dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend?

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