I ghosted a guy recently.
We had bumped into each other twice.
We spoke more on the second occasion.
He asked about my dating life and I said I'm single and not looking to date.
As I'm tired of people.
He agreed we gotta be careful people move weird.
I told him that I'm focusing on me until I meet my husband. He asked if I had kids and I told him no. He said the same.
I was clear that all guys want us fun and I'm not down for that.
He said he text me and I said cool.
When he contacted me he started with hi Mrs khis surname) so I responded?
He told me that's my surname.
So I said yea, but that's not my name, duh!
Him not knowing what to say. I asked if he'd like to start a fresh.
So he did then asked to call.
We cheated as you do and both concluded our star signs mean we're incompatible (yes I believe in it)
He causally bragged about wanting to spend large sums of money :-/ but I wrapped up the convo.
I was travelling and cooking our meals.
Much to his surprise.
Anyways he knew I was going to be away until Sunday night with family I've not seen for over 2 years.
He text then called. But I didn't pick them up as I was busy.
When I got home I saw his profile and status removed on WhatsApp.
To tired to care I text the following morning asking how his weekend was and if he bought his scooter and whatever.
He didn't text until the evening and it was half hearted.
So I didn't push it, gave it til Tuesday morning then blocked him for good.
Sorry it was so long.
But basically we knew each other in primary school. But I don't know him now so that means we need time in a non sexual capacity. I don't fancy him but given my previous situations I thought we could just be friends hence the initial conversation. Since that wasn't his agenda who am I to stay in his way of finding his hook up, it just won't be with me.
Typically people ghost because: they lost interest in you, found someone else, or they want to end things but aren't mature enough to tell you.
Second, to all you guys saying, "Girls can ghost too!" Yes, we are aware of that. But the asker is a female, so she's wanting a man's perspective on the situation. Please keep that in mind.
Back on topic, I wouldn't stress over it anon. If a guy ghosts you? That means he's not interested in you. Because if he liked you, he wouldn't have stopped talking to you in the first place. The fact he just ghosted you after six months of dating without even a goodbye or explanation? Yeah, screw him.
And no, you will probably not get any closure on the situation or find out why he did so... nor should you worry about it. Take that as he's not worth your time or effort, block him, and move on with your life.
Do you think ghosting is getting more common?
@backblueblack22 Unfortunately so, yes. Technology and social media make it so easy to be a coward and ghost people you're no longer interested in.
It almost makes me miss the old days when you had to interact and see people in person more because if you did something like this? You'd get a nasty reputation and be looked down for doing so. Nowadays? Ghost someone... move on to someone else... rinse and repeat if you're not interested in them.
It's terrible.
Exactly. You and I are old enough to remember those days. Girls didn’t pull this shit on me back then. And to be honest I some of the immature bs i did back then was more worthy of ghosting. Nowadays women ghost just because they get a bad “feeling” despite there being nothing fundamentally wrong. Now more young guys are starting to do this shit too. It’s fucked up all the way around. Since when was such selfish cowardice okay?
as a guy I NEVER GHOST because I've been ghosted by many guys and girls and honestly it sucks it means you are no value to them or if they react you after a looong time they usually want something from you if that's the case a straight ''FUCK OFF'' would be good
if I don't like a girl for example while dating just like you said i'd rather tell the girl I am done with her, so I don't waste her time, worrying or making comments if its her problem etc
Usually I am a straightforward guy I tell what I have to tell no matter if its harsh or not because its better if you ghost its dumb people especially guys think they're better than everyone girls/guys. in reality they're the dumb one because they lose many chances
in this world nothing is free by that I mean TIME IS NOT FREE
if you want a relationship you have to put an effort and time otherwise ghosting ain't gonna make your relationship better
anyway just fuck him I mean we have 24 hours a day I mean if you work 8h or 10+ doesn't matter a single 5 to 20min with your 'loved one' won't hurt and let them know
anyway girl move on that's all
The main reason would be it's much easier on the ghoster. Not to have to tell someone they don't want to see them anymore for whatever reason.
They didn't want to see you anymore, either they were never that interested in the first place, or they met someone else they liked more. Or you guys dated for a bit, and he lost interest, wanted to date others.
Basically, it is much easier just to never text/call and move on. I don't have to think of the perfect text to send. Or a reason why I am not interested anymore which might hurt your feelings, and make me feel like an asshole for being shallow or whatever. It's to save their feelings, not yours. No awkward conversation, no crying, no nothing. Just move on and pretend it never happened.
Not saying it's the way to go. Pretty shitty especially if you were in a relationship with the person. But if you just went on 1 or 2 dates, I don't think it's a huge deal though.
Opinion
70Opinion
1. They have a girlfriend.
2. They found someone else.
3. They got bored.
4. They stopped being interested.
5. Something personal happened to them and they can't deal with keeping in contact with you.
6. You were one of the options and not the first one.
Those I can think of right now.
I ghosted someone after a week or two of talking to her because my life kind of fell apart and I didn't have enough energy to devote to her.
I'd had to call 911 for an attempted suicide, my grades were falling apart, my job wanted to fire me and therefore take away my food and shelter, I was having regular anxiety attacks and I couldn't really take care of myself, let alone maintain friendships or relationships. That summer I was sick with vertigo for a solid 2-3 months while doing summer classes.
By the time I had enough energy to spend on her, it had been a year later. I felt really bad because I really did like her.
I don't remember if I told her what was going on. All that stuff isn't really an excuse, since I could've spared a couple minutes a day on her. I didn't though. And I haven't looked for a potential partner since because it's not fair to them to try to date when I know my depression is incapacitating.
That's the exact shit that women do... I used to get ghosted all the time and always blamed it on myself until recently I finally was able to squeeze some info out of some of these girls that ghosted me at first then came back. Or at least started responding enough to give me some closure. The reasons these women come up with are endless. I feel much better about myself now than I did a year ago. Usually if a girl ghosts you it's just their complicated little minds overthinking something.
Obviously people ghost for lots of reasons but I think one reason that is a bit more common for guys is some form of depression or down mood. Guys are generally discouraged form showing emotional venerability and a lot of guys (especially if they are prone to down swings) will have experienced at least one major rejection as a result.
This doesn’t make it alright, but its a pattern I’ve recognised in at least myself, which can be quite hard to correct.
[Just to cliffy, I’m not saying men are more likely to have down moods than women, only that I think men are more likely to socially exclude themselves in order to circumvent shunning, which at least subconsciously feels enviable]
Different people ghost for different reasons. I only ghosted girls who:
- Didn't seem as interested in me as I was in them (one-word answers to questions, not building conversation, not asking questions/trying to know me, taking more than 48 hours to reply messages). Mutual interest is very important to me. I'm a clingy type of boyfriend, and I was looking for a clingy type of girl, so I had no interest in people who were only going to have me as an afterthought.
- Played hard to get. This is, and always will be a fundamental deal breaker. I absolutely loathe mind games. Plus I'm not even good at reading subtlety anyway.
If you were dating 6 months though. It might have been for other reasons, some of them stupid e. g. you wanted to get serious or didn't want to, something to do with sex, he found out something about you he didn't like, he met someone else and thought it was okay to disappear since you weren't official, etc.
I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. It’s not good that so many months have passed and you are still so hurt by it. That shows that this was a very traumatic experience for you. It’s understandable that you miss him especially if from your point of view, everything was going fine between the two of you and there were no problems that you knew of. And just wondering, are you sure he’s okay? Have you seen him active on social media or anything like that to show that nothing happened to him?
That's what I was thinking too.
I’m not sure why so many guys here speak more about stats of girls ghosting when your question is about why.. /guys/.. ghost or the reason behind his actions in your story. 😐 just sayin. It’s not really answering your question that you need help with to cope and understand. Sighs.
Girl, I’m so sorry that has happened to you! Were yalls official or just dating? Either way, wow, you deserve so much better! Someone once told me how someone end things show their true character, so girl, I can tell you that he’s not that great as he appeared. I’m sure he did something wrong he can’t owned up to, lost interest, or he didn’t wanna hurt your feelings… but this only hurts and confuse you more. Sometimes we may not have all the answers why somethings don’t work out as we would want, but just know if he’s not gonna stay and make it work… you’re better without him and someone else can give you what he can’t. ❤️
- Hey, Stacy! Do you wanna go to the prom with me?
- Ahh, I'm sorry, but I'm a ghost.
- But you're not dead...
*shot*
- Bye, Brian!
Maybe he just doesn't like you as you do him.
Or he have a life crisis and can't concentrate.
Or he waits for your answer on his last comment/question.
Maybe his wife found out and now he is her slave.
He is a special agent and you are his only one, but he is in the middle of a counter-terrorist case so staying with he would endanger you.
He is an alien, but because his world use dextro-amino acids, he can't get any nutritient from our food so he can't stay.
He is actually a homonculus, but the soul in the artificial body started to remember who is he really.
Cthulhu called him.
The main reason is because some women are known to be mentally unstable. They will stalk him, feign pregnancy, show up at his job, denigrate him on social media, call his mother, the list goes on and on. Plus, whatever the problems were in the relationship had more than likely already been beat to death, so there's no point in hashing it all out again.
I'm not saying you'd do this, perhaps he just doesn't like confrontation. My bet is he found someone else, and you weren't as important to him as you thought.
Did you ever have sex with him? Did you two want to marry? This makes a big difference. Girls connect emotionally, guys connect physically. This isn't to say guys don't have emotions, but if you weren't physical with him then you never bound him to you.
Also keep in mind a guy's brain doesn't fully form till about 25. So until then, you're basically dealing with an over-grown 12 year old.
It's not just men, Every gender does it. People have been so complacent with walking away any time things get the slightest bit awkward or they just choose not to talk to someone because they didn't want to add anything to the conversation.
Ghosting is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, but i understand from a womans point of view, because there are so many easily butthurt insecure guys that can't handle rejection.
I prefer to be honest and to the point. If I'm not interested, i thank them for their time but let them know I'm not interested.
Why do Women? I can't tell you the number of incidents I have heard about people who just stop hearing from the other. Men to Women... WOMEN to MEN. As far as I am concerned, those who can't talk to you face-to-face and say, "Thank you, but I no longer feel we are compatible". Those types are the types to disrespect their future Spouse (should they unfortunately find them), in one form or another.
To say only men ghost people would be ignorant because they are women who do it to but in this situation, it’s best to assume he ghosted you because he lost interest and didn’t know how to tell you, which is a pretty cowardly move on his part.
It’s fine if you miss him. You dated him for half a year but I don’t think it’s something you should dwell on.
I've been ghosted a lot and it really hurts because you have no idea what went wrong and you blamed yourself but it was not your fault it is the ghoster. Some guys ghost due to getting what they want from you, get weird when they actually like a girl, when a guy develop feelings, not interested in you, or found someone else they are more interesting. I would not want to date or talk to a guy who ghosts.
Lots of reasons could be anything..
could be to do with their emotional state but could also be because of you.
i know someone who tried to cut it off with someone for ages and they wouldn’t accept it. Got the point the person had to ghost because the other person wouldn’t allow it.
because he is spinless cunt who doesn't have the class to tell you the reason, he is the one with the problem, he is the one that did this not you. instead of missing him think what a loser and karma. there is someone far better for you out there dont ever lose sight of that
Ghosting is honestly the easiest thing to do, that's why any gender does it.
It actively takes work to have character and text back, give closure, and give someone the chance to air out any criticisms (or constructive feedback). It takes even more character to genuinely wish someone well in their dating journey.
In response to why randomly after 6 months - he probably found someone new and/or decided 6 months is long enough to waste time on someone he's not sure about.
Okey so first of all. It is very rude to ghost someone regardless of gender. I can understand if someone dosen't have a intrest in someone and don't want to keep the relationship, but if you wanna leave someone it is advised to not be a di*k. The guy clearly may be i dick to just disapear. I feel for what happend to you. But don't worry he probably isn't worth the , time. But always remeber that things happen and it now always may be his fault to disapear make sure to keep many ways of contact in case of things like this. Maybe you can somehow even get some information why he did that
I'm that kind of person too. I like ghosting people when I feel like he already interested with me. I know that I can't chatting with him anymore if not he will said that I give hope for him but that not my intention in the first place. I just being friendly and that is how I am. I'm not only texting him but more and I hope he will stop liking me as I just break his heart later so I stop it by ghosting them.
When you do the RIGHT thing and give someone closure it helps them heal quicker and more importantly shows you have character.
If you think ghosting is okay than your are just a selfish coward. You could at least send them a text message saying you don’t want to date anymore. If you are so scared of the response then just block him right after sending it. But at least they know where you stand.
Given that you are young and likely attractive you can get away with seemingly no consequence. But some day someone you really like will do this to you or worse (cheat).
Don’t contribute to this societal problem. I’ve noticed that women (and some men) have generally gotten progressively worse about this. Instead take 30 seconds of your time and respond appropriately when he texts you. Then go ahead and block if you are so terrified about the response. But at least it’s a step in the right direction.
I went into detail above because I’m seeing more and more decent people get jaded in the dating world and eventually start doing shitty things to other people themselves. Stop being part of the problem
@Azaelia you usually have a gut feeling already if they are that kind of person (who can’t take no as an answer). But you have to really have to make a tactful decision on how to handle that.
I’ll give you an example. I predicted my ex girlfriend wouldn’t take no for answer when I broke up with her. She didn’t disappoint either. She was went nuclear ballistic by throwing things, screaming, crying, making a public scene and ultimately threatening to kill herself. It got so bad her grandmother had to call the police to have her detained for psych evaluation.
Do I regret meeting with her face to face to break up? No. You know why? Because 1) her reaction proved to me I was making the right decision. 2) I walked away knowing that she would is going to be better off in the long run. She got an opportunity to speak her mind (even though she was delusional). She can look back and know she got full closure.
I gave her an opportunity no woman ever gave me. Attraction is not a choice. But RESPECT is. Ghosting someone is the most cowardly disrespectful thing you can do.
Anyway I know it’s scarier for women in these scenarios. But should at least send him a final text or a email. Be tactfully honest (tell him why you want to break up) and if you are scared of his reaction just block him immediately. But at least you told him the truth. That’s the respectful thing to do.
Alright just don’t do it again in the future. Emotions are not > respect. Unless the guy does something fundamentally wrong (cheats, gets physically violent, lies about being married/having kids, etc) the it’s a shitty thing to do.
Also if a guy gets really angry or worse it will remove any lingering doubt you have about your decision. You will have less guilt if he doesn’t handle it well.
Yeah I figure if I can prevent less heartbreak for some random person out there it was worth the time writing this.
Also about the guy you blocked was this recent? Also did this guy do anything fundamentally wrong (from what I mentioned above). If he didn’t i would consider sending him a message. Say you could of handled it better and could of communicated. Make it clear you don’t want to date anymore but tell him you wish him best of luck. Again if you are scared of the response then block him immediately.
He’s got a right to be angry about what you did (but not a right to have you back). But if he expresses that he will feel better and you will ultimately feel better for making amends.
Anyway I don’t expect you to do that. But don’t underestimate how much damage you are doing by ghosting for no good fundamental reason. Both damage to him and ultimately damage to yourself.
Some guys are in it for the hunt. They enjoy picking a girl who everyone says is impossible and melting her defence and bedding her.
It is a dog get bitch to sleep with him and forget bitch world. Not calling you a bitch though.
Never allow anyone into your life that Gos did not give the express permission to. Let God guide you on who you date. Lot followed His eyes to Sodom and Gomorrah... eyes can kill you.
Someone who doesn't give a shit or is immature does that. I always tell every woman I'm not interested in that I'm moving on.
Thinking in their situation towards your actions before you do them makes you considerate. No offense but a lot of people are inconsiderate in this world.
6 months of dating and then no text/call or any type of contact again without any explanation beforehand... wow he's on another level of not caring about you and your feelings at all.
My definition of ghosting is when you message someone and they intentionally don’t respond. I have had several women do that. The worst incident was a girl I dated for 9 months did this after a minor argument.
Ghosting is not when they stop messaging you. That’s not a good sign either but did you trying reaching out to this guy.
He is not interested in her but don't want to hurt her feelings.
For him it was only infactuation thats why his interest got changed.
Ghosting someone is a part of mind games.
If you don't like someone you should tell them and should leave eachother.
Girls that seem to busy to get back to you, girls that are constantly online but always say they're busy, girls with loads of guy friends, girls with loads of tattoos and piercings, girls that say things like mixed race babies are cute and think black guys are cute/good looking as they're media brainwashed sheep, girls that brag about biggest dick they've had, and people they've fucked and how many, single parents also, All are major red flags and avoid, avoid and avoid! You can do way better as they're just trash
Anyone who ghosts has the human decency and emotional maturity of an ant. It is a cruel, cowardly thing to do.
I'm sorry it happened to you. I've been ghosted too, and it sucks. I don't know why he did it, but try to think of it this way. You dodged a bullet. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors early on rather than wasting years of your life with someone who can't have an adult conversation or be considerate of your feelings.
You aren't wife material. Often its related to sex, you had sex too soon or with too many people to be seen as more than friends with benefits. You could also be very career focused or annoying in some way where you're fun for short periods but not someone he wants to live with and rely on. Alternatively he always wanted casual sex from the jump and you ignored what he said and now he's just fulfilling what he said he wanted. It is surely one of those 3 things.
I am thinking this is after some kind of relationship was established. It could be because the guy wanted to break up but didn’t have the courage to tell you to your face. So he took the easy way out. I have to admit, I have done this before.
I personally dont ghost. I've told women straight up. It hurts. Not proud of it. But feel im a better person as a result.
For a guy to ghost after 6 months, its likely because they moved on with someone else.
I had a girl ghost me after 9 months of dating. To be fair I didn’t see it lasting forever. But I didn’t expect her to do that bullshit. That was 5 years ago. But nowadays you can almost expect ghosting to be a risk. It’s actually more of societal problem that started with female cowardice but now more guys are doing it. It’s fucked up all the way around.
I don’t ghost people either. I broke up with my last ex face to face and had to endure 2 hours of her crying, screaming and going ballistic (actually confirmed I made the right decision). As much as that sucked I know she can look and have a peace of mind that she said everything she wanted to say. It will help her recover quicker.
@backblueblack22 I get ghosted by female friends quite regularly. And im married. Maybe thats why lol
Well serves you right then lol. You shouldn’t be doing side chics man. I don’t know your whole story but c’mon.
@backblueblack22 I said friends, not side chicks... lol.
The only girl I ghosted was my 2nd cousin's friend. She tried to set me up on a date with her friend and left out the fact the girl was a solid 5 inches taller and significantly heavier (I was fat as a kid, no way around saying it, but this girl was obese). I tried being nice but tbh I was embarrassed and didn't know how to let her down kindly, so I just kinda ghosted her but I told my cousin to let her down easy for me.
I just Replied to a Guy on Reddit whose Date, Ghosted him for a Second One, hun. No Balls nor Boobs to Let anyone Know. No Heart. Go back On and Find someone Who is Better. He is Out There. xx
In my experience, girls ghost way more often. I don't like it, and besides one woman (seemed nice, but pissed me off and broke my heart when she implied she only wanted to date guys six feet and taller), I've never ghosted anyone before.
rejection, fear of rejection, boredom, feeling like she doesn't contribute to the conversation enough to be interested, he could be a player/cheater/trash, she may not be his "type", could have work or a busy life, stress, bad internet, or he's not a texter and nobody calls anymore.
I noticed bad behavior or in congruency in what she said, and also Because women get emotional when they dont get their way. Im not a therapist so id rather not deal with an emotional tirade
Disrespect and bad behavior. Some women think they can do whatever they want.
If I feel she is not into me is another reason and only wants attention is a common reason. I know most women want the guy to take charge, but some traits of interest is necessary.
In all honesty if I’m not really into a girl I ghost after I hit. If she becomes a booty call then when I wanna get laid I’ll hit her up and then disappear until I want some again. If we weren’t sexually compatible then I’ll ghost after hitting one time unless nobody else is giving me kitty. Bad sex is better than no sex.
@Jazquee they’re the ones opening up their legs
Why do women? It's pretty sad that this has become so common, that many consider it "normal". Very immature, selfish and disrespectful. And that's why. These people are 100% self absorbed and don't think of you AT ALL.
That's a long time. Have you reached out to ask him.
Basically people go because they can't reject somebody over text
Because in. my humble opioion they dont want deal with the fallout of the conflict so just walk away.
Women do this all the time. We text back and forth several times a day in between dates and have a couple good dates and by date 3 she's nowhere to be found... They don't care that they wasted a months worth of texting back and forth.
Could be you were just going too slow and he wasn't willing to waste time?
Obviously you weren't as "all good" as you thought.
Because it is a lot easier than having to tell somebody that they do not want to go out with them anymore.
My ex ghosted and moved and got married in the span of like a month. Guess all that working late was a lie lol
For real though, could be a number of things. Too many variables to ever really know.
For the same reason women do. They weren't feeling it, but for whatever reason, didn't feel comfortable articulating that fact.
Honestly? For every guy that ghosts you. YOU ( or a member of your gender) ghosts him 10 times. Judge him if you like but once it's done that frequently you really lose all moral high ground. Sorry that's just the way it is.
I have been ghosted many times including in this website after good conversations.
I dont understand either, at least they can leave a goodbye message if they lost interest
He probably wanted more with you but he saw it wasn't going to happen so he left.
Sometimes we are going through shit and just want to be nowhere to be found
Probably cheated, doesn't matter tbh. Just gotta let it go and move forward. He's not worth your time and energy.
Well after 6 months that’s a pussy move. Not a man you want to be with anyways.
because they don't want to deal with that person anymore
Why would you miss someone who dropped you without a care in the world? If anything you should never want to speak to him again. dont be a 🤡
Ghosted after 6 months of dating? That’s pure fucking evil
But women claim to love their partners for years and simply drop him in a snap when a guy shows up with cash and a nice car.
Do you have any personal experiences with that?
Yup, seen it happen and had a girl admit to doing it
I loved it ghosting girl's from nowhere...
It's always fun to play with girls.
Because if a girl says "What are you thinking about" one more time, I will ghost her.
Girls do it, guys just learnt from them and do it back.
Usually they feel guilty by something so instead of dealing with it they prefer to ghost, hoping you'll go away eventually and leave him alone
Because there cowards there scared to face you and say they've lost interest since they take the easy way out
Same reasons females ghost, or at least one of the same reasons. I know females ghost you if you're not good looking enough.(happened to me)
Men ghost because women give them impression their not interested ladies you want effort well we do too
Easy, because guys get bored easily, and they are not comfortable with confrontation.
Maybe you got bored or didn't really like you. Online dating yea?
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