Why I do keep finding girls like this?

[Anonymous]

Why do chicks always play me! I had it! I asked out this girl from work today, and she says she’s in love with me, but is seeing someone. Even though, she never brought up a boyfriend. Nobody else knew. What does that even mean? How can you like me while having a boyfriend? So I quit the job, and she was sad that she didn’t get to train me. Or that she was expecting me to stick around. It was basically a big F U to her, and I ignored her all day. I don’t want to speak to her again! What pisses me off even more is that she was smiling when she told people that I asked her out, but she had a boyfriend. Even my coworkers were like “That’s F’d up.” I think they don’t like her anymore because even they were ignoring her. I hope she regrets this day for the rest of her life. So right now, I just want to be alone….

[Anonymous]

I don't know why this doesn’t seem like the full tale of events... but anyway, some people just aren’t very lucky in love. Maybe it’s good that she’s single, and that you quit your job bc office romances are just the worst thing ever. Like I’m sure it’s slightly embarrassing/annoying knowing that the whole office is informed of you getting rejected and now you’re the gossip.

[Asker]

I actually am an attractive guy. Like I get so many girls flirting with me daily, but also always get the girls that are just playing with me. I just want to be single for the rest of my life!

[Opinion Owner]

Well, nothing is wrong with being single until the right one comes along.

[Asker]

That won’t happen, ever! I thought she was the one, but she’s just like the rest of them! I dated probably 20 girls by now. None of them aren’t even worth dating. I’m 24 year old. If I can’t find one by right now, I’ll never will.

[Opinion Owner]

At 24 dude you’re life has hardly started lol all those 20 girls have happened in your adolescence. When I was your age I don’t feel like any of the guys I dated were even worth mentioning bc they were all so immature and full of shit. I didn’t have meaningful connections until I was 27 bc by then, everyone who went to college out of high school is done, no longer partying and being dumb. People aren’t as young minded either. Surely you can’t grasp or believe any of that right now but it’s bc you haven’t experienced it yet. People get better, they really do.

[Asker]

I’m just in pain. Like she tricked me so good that I actually thought she wanted to be with me. Everyday she would do something new. I just hate her now. I hope karma will get her back good.

[Opinion Owner]

Hating someone is a waste of energy and does nothing to change the situation, dude. You want karma to hit her, but for what? You “thought” she wanted to be with you, you “thought” she was the one, but she never said any of that would happen, so making that sort of assumption is on YOU. It’s easy to pile all the fault on her bc you’re angry and hurting rn, but you have to take some responsibility bc it takes two to tango. Personally I will never assume shit about anyone else’s intentions bc assumptions are not reliable, and they aren’t FACT. So rather than allowing her to live rent free in your mind and fuck up your mood all day everyday, take responsibility for your part (doesn’t matter how much), accept the situation, work on forgiving her and yourself, then move on.

[Opinion Owner]

I say all this because I’ve been in your shoes and I had to learn the hard way, just like you. Of course we don’t want to take responsibility, but we have to. Because what got you where you are now? An assumption, and a very big one at that. You can’t be this mad at her for not doing what you “thought” she would do. I would absolutely understand if she verbally said she wants to be with you, but she didn’t. I am not saying she’s innocent, bc clearly her actions were strong enough to make you fall in love and think you’d have a future, but she has a boyfriend. Even with that knowledge: why would you want a girl who sneaks behind her boyfriend anyway? She absolutely would’ve done the same to you — you aren’t above that treatment. So rather than sulk, look at the fact that you dodged a bullet and won’t have to stress with worry that she’s flirting up men behind your back. You’d never trust her.

[Asker]

She literally said she “loves” me. But as soon as I tell her, she acts like I’m crazy for asking her out. That’s why I hate her. Why is she doing all this while she has a boyfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

I get it, but telling someone you love them is not saying you want to be with them. So yes, you still made an assumption and have to take responsibility for that. I’m not trying to be harsh, and like I said, she was wrong, but you made a mistake too. Also you’re right, she should NOT be doing that while she has a boyfriend, but at least now you see her for what she is and you dodged a bullet dude.

[Opinion Owner]

This is an afterthought, but maybe the love was platonic, like loving you as a friend. When I think about it, I’ve told my guy friends I love them, I genuinely have. But I didn’t mean it like “I’m in love with you”, I just love them for who they are and how they are towards me. Love them a lot. But that’s the extent.

[Twalli]

I don't know how you can be in love with one person while dating another. I find someone else attractive besides my girlfriend. I have no problem with it because I liked her long before I started dating my girlfriend. Granted if I had chosen to date this girl, I would still be attracted to my girlfriend for the same reason. Quite literally I chose to ask out my girlfriend on a whim, and it could have easily been the other girl. I think it's natural to still have attractions that aren't your SO, all that matters is whether or not you act on them.

[aintnocandle]

Youngins don’t know what they’re doing... if she’s in your age range, don’t take it too seriously and just have fun. It’s all experimentation at this age to figure out what kind of person you are and what you want.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the dating world of 2021, women love to play games.