Accidentally dated two guys that are friends, both ghosted me same time?

[Anonymous]

I went on first dates with two guys from a dating app, I really liked guy 1 a lot and he messaged me after the first date and initiated a second date twice but we had to reschedule cos we were both busy. Guy 2 I really enjoyed the date as well, i don't think we had as much in common but he seemed super into me. Anyway, the night before my second date guy 1 he cancelled on me and at the same time guy 2 stopped replying. I have recently discovered that they are in the same friendship group, i don't know whether im wrong to assume they have stopped talking to me because they're mates, but there were no red flags before this, and they both just stopped talking to me at the same time. I'm sad because I really like guy 1 and i don't know what to do, i really didn't know they were mates. :( Is there some sort of guy code that they've decided where neither can date me? or am i reading into this too much?

[God_of_Thunder]

Most guy friends won't date the same girl. It's "guy code", but it also just makes logical sense, in the same way most guys won't date their friend's ex.

Assuming the relationship were to actually go somewhere, it's inevitable that the rejected guy will encounter the girl, seeing as she's dating his friend. The meeting will be uncomfortable for him, and potentially strain the friendship between the two guys, because there's going to be some jealousy & resentment.

Most of the time, the guys will choose to preserve the friendship, because good, lifelong friends are generally harder to find than the latest girlfriend.

You didn't really do anything wrong, here. If you'd been dating each of them for a couple months, then I would think differently, but one date isn't a big deal. Chances are they told each other about this girl they went out with, connected to dots, and mutually agreed to move on.

My advice would be to forget about it, and move on. Sometimes it happens.

[CanadianLearner]

You were just dealt a bad hand.

Though, if you were dating one at a time, wouldn't have happened.

Either way, it's unlikely to work out for you now.

[MrTaboo]

They stopped contacting you because they fond out that the girl they went on a date with did the same with some other guy.

The fact that they're friends just means they found out faster.

[Asker]

I don't think there is any issue with dating multiple people at once though, I literally went on one date with each of them, didn't sleep with either of them. They are probably dating other people too

[MrTaboo]

Well you think that. They didn't.

[Asker]

Why should i commit myself to one person at a time when i end up getting ghosted anyway

[MrTaboo]

Ok, find a really good guy friend. Become best friends and then date.