I think some people are together because they like each others and others are together for status and reputation - they are too busy chasing the person to realize they don't actually like them and the person does not actually bring happiness or add any real value to their lives. I spent months chasing a guy from my university thinking he would make my dreams come true and once I got him, my attraction declined over 98% and other guys I was attracted to and did not date were the same way - when they were out of my reach I liked them so much and once I thought they were interested, my attraction dropped. I think this is why advice givers say women should not chase men - if you chase him - you don't like him. You just think you do cause you don't have him.
Do you think some do not know how to tell a cool pursuit from a cool relationship?
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I'm gonna be really honest. I have been that way my whole life. From elementary school crushes to now. I am overcoming that and I don't want to get too frued on you but i was raised in a one parent household. My mother was a drug addict and I spent my whole life chasing her love instead of just having it unconditionally. Because of that, unwittingly I have been under the assumption I'm in love with someone who does not give me the light of day. And when they do my attraction disappears. I'm just trying to learn love and happiness does not need to come from longing and suffering.
I agree with your point of view.