Is it a red flag if a guy has always been in long distance relationships?

Question

I’m currently talking to this guy and he recently told me that all of his relationships have been long distance (most recent ex living six hours away by plane and the one before living across the country). I find this a little odd because we live in an area with plenty of women that possess the qualities that he is looking for, so why does he always feel the need to date someone that lives in another region of the country.

MaazHussain · Accepted Answer

While the fact that this guy has always been in long-distance relationships is not necessarily a "red flag," it is certainly something to consider and potentially explore further as you get to know him better.

There could be many reasons why he has consistently chosen to pursue relationships with people who live far away. It's possible that he has a job or other obligations that make it difficult for him to date people in his immediate area. Alternatively, he may simply have a preference for long-distance relationships, perhaps because they offer a greater sense of independence and autonomy.

That said, it's also possible that there are underlying issues that are leading him to consistently choose partners who live far away. For example, he may have a fear of intimacy or commitment and therefore find it easier to maintain a relationship from a distance.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether this is something that concerns you or not. If you're interested in continuing to get to know this person, you might consider asking him more about why he has always been in long-distance relationships, and whether he sees himself pursuing a relationship with someone who lives closer in the future. This could help you to better understand his perspective and decide whether you're comfortable with the situation.

bean2k21 · Accepted Answer

There could be a variety of reasons why this guy has mostly been in long-distance relationships. It's possible that he has personal or professional reasons for not wanting to date someone who lives closer to him, such as a demanding job, family obligations, or a desire for independence.

However, it's also possible that he has a pattern of seeking out long-distance relationships as a way of avoiding intimacy or commitment. Long-distance relationships can provide a sense of emotional distance and detachment, which can be appealing to some people who may be afraid of getting too close to someone, or to people who would prefer to focus on other things than relationships.

If you're concerned about this pattern, it's important to talk to him openly and honestly about your concerns. Ask him why he prefers long-distance relationships and whether he has ever had a successful local relationship.

BeeNee · Accepted Answer

Red flag for sure. Typically people are in long distance relationships due to circumstance---military, work, met in another country/working on visas, etc. It's extremely hard to do  even one  and make it work, let alone 2, 3, 4, 5 in a row. This person sounds like someone who doesn't actually want to commit to the relationship bits of a relationship like living together, dating in person, or hanging out together doing relationship things. My theory on that would be that 1) they just want to have a totally cerebral relationship where they like the idea of talking to someone and falling in like/love in that way alone and not physically in person 2)they have self esteem issues and are too afraid to actually be with the other person in person (or are literally catfishing) 3) they are cheating and this is an easy way to do that with none of the others knowing 4) their circumstances are poor--i.e. health issues, financial issues, emotional issues, physical issues--- and they don't want the other person to know by finding out in person.

Labokachulaa · Accepted Answer

No, I wouldn't consider it to be a red flag. I would think it's quite common depending on where he lives. Where I live, it seems as if the people all know each other. (If you understand what I mean by this) So, usually people will date outside of their county OR they will date at least a few cities over, that way they're not running into someone that knows them or someone that they know.

Guy13 · Answer

The only two conclusions are Commitment Phobe or Butt Ugly. I do not see and "upside" to either one of those...

Avicenna · Answer

Of course it is. Makes you wonder why.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Nothing wrong with long distance. Till nothing happens. In this case yes. Why couldn’t they get the deal seal?

my husband and I were in LD 5-6 years. We got married last Feb. 9-10 hrs drive and 1 -2 hr flight.
My sister 6 hr flight. US to Europe. He moved to the US , married with a kid. He got a great job. So… these are successful LDR.

cryscrys1 · Answer

“ Plenty of women that possess the qualities that he is looking for, so why does he always feel the need to date someone that lives in another region of the country”
It seems like love to you is like a portfolio you get the file near by you sign it and upload it at the general charts.

Red-Blaze · Answer

Could be shy and have a hard time approvhing someone out right, starting from afar maybe be easier for them for that reason, and after they know them, they feel better to get closer
So ai say its a shadow of a Red Flag as it could also point to outher stuff but is not so clear from it alone

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

Huge red flag. There's something about being in long distance relationships (ones that started long distance) that gives one or the other immense control of the situation. While I don't believe that the person right for you lives just around the corner, to have only ever dated long distance seems like he is actively seeking out someone who lives far away, which makes it seem like he's hiding something.

annabananna · Answer

I don’t think it’s a red flag. It could be that he doesn’t mind long distance so he has his dating range open wider than most. The only way it COULD be is if he has such a bad reputation that he can’t get someone where he lives but time and meeting up with him will find that out.

ZackBan · Answer

Not necessarily red flag but definitely a lack of experience.

Meaning don't expect him to be a very good boyfriend from the get go because LDR doesn't expose you to plenty of couple activities meaning he's got some learning to do.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Because that way he can date a harem of girls without any of them ever meeting each other, or knowing he is seeing other girls. It's one of the oldest trolls in the book for playing women.

Keishio · Answer

I don't think it's always a red flag. I come from a pretty small town so all my adult relationships started long distance and none of those lasted less than 2 years. Just made the most of my circumstance

RavVid · Answer

Well if you only do online stuff it is probable that they will be distant. He should go to the pub or a bar. It might be a red line that he doesn't get out and talk face to face.

summiter · Answer

It is kinda weird. One wonders why he can't fins a relationship IRL with someone face to face.

AsaKyo · Answer

If it's pretty much ALL the time, yeah, I'd say it is  Being in one or two isn't really that bad, but more than that is ridiculous lmao

Ecologygirl76 · Answer

Kind of, yeah. It's giving you pause and you're questioning it, so yes. Not being able to go out and talk to women in person is unattractive for sure

Massageman · Answer

The long distance is the big red flag, here.  Add that to any built-in flaws of the guy/gal, you are now up to TWO strikes, or at least an orange flag.

Anonymous · Answer

big ol' red flag. he has no idea how to keep a stable, in real life, relationship. and at your age (assuming that's accurate), that's... not good.

Sasha0426 · Answer

I rather date someone long distance than date the men in my town. I live in a small town and people are just nasty 🤢 Many people are in the same boat.

es20490446e · Answer

He may simply be shy to approach in real life. So he just dates whoever shows interest in him online, near or far away.

sheikalana · Answer

I’m not sure if it’s a red flag but sounds like a turn off and a deal breaker to me.

boobliker · Answer

I would be thinking he want to be free to be anywhere he wanted to be and may be is all ready hooked

Is it a red flag if a guy has always been in long distance relationships?

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