Yes I would.
But the standards will be much higher because:
- It's one thing if a non-mom is childish and a bit reckkess with their life with patrying and such but if they have a kid and still live life like they didn't.. That means they put their kid second, I just can't go there because I care too much and I know I'd become the main parent or feel guilty for the kid.
I mean it's okay to party, but when you have a kid, your life and your fun, is second to a childs upbringing.
- I would have to see it as a longterm thing from the start because when I get to know her well enough I'll inevitably get to know the kid, then they grow on you too.
So if it isn't for the longterm future then I not only lose her, I also lose the kid.
This is probably one of the main reasons beside the responsibility-burden that scares guys off when it comes to single-moms.
But if she is very mature, takes care of her kid and still is able to see me without having me invest too much in the short-medium-term due to her having a good support-structure like a responsible ex or a stable good-loving family that can support then we'd have a shot.
u I have dated several single moms over my lifetime. As you get older, there are far fewer available women who do not have children. You should just realize that her children are affected by your presence and you should not meet them too early in the dating experience.
Yes, I would but only if I met the child before and the child doesn't dislike me I don't want to get close to someone whose child isn't willing to let me in his/her life. I know kids can take some time to warm upto you but some children wouldn't like some other woman being with their child. I love children, so it would really break my heart if his son or daughter aren't even ready to get to give me a chance and get to know me but their dad is making them hang around with me. So, until and unless I'm sure they'll accept me in their life, I'd rather stay with that man as a friend.
Depends… what the situation is in their arrangement and relationship. If the baby momma likes to create problems or the kids are old enough to get in between us. But if all’s well and we all get along, why not.
Opinion
46Opinion
If I had all my kids (4), I would not even try to date. It wouldn't be fair to expect a woman to deal with that many personalities.
You really should also avoid dating single moms. The ones worth dating are few and far between, and the rest have lives full of drama, chaos and financial instability.
I've messed around with some women my age who had adult kids, and even they had too much drama.
It doesn't matter. I have, and would date single moms, but the attitude they have is more important. I'm a dick that's going into them for who knows how long, that kid's going to be around for the rest of their life.
So I had some women who had a clear divide, like I was there for dick, she was there to take it, anything about her life was vague as hell, because I was never going to be a part of it.
Some women I met their kid the first time I went to their place, like at my age if I was going to dictate not getting with moms, I suppose I'd only be with sterile women.
It would be a deal breaker for me to get with a woman and she doesn't accept my kids. So the attitude is irrelevant as it'll just play itself out regardless of whether that's a "red flag" or not.
I would not for several reasons:
1. It does not matter where the relationship goes, even into marriage, you will ALWAYS be second best to the kid. The relationship is between the parent and the child... You are just a person they happen to be dating at the time.
Do I blame parents that do this? Nope. However, it is a situation I choose to avoid.
2. A person either had a child outside of marriage or got divorced. Both display character traits I choose to avoid. It's difficult because so many people consider these things normal. I do not. I want better.
I'm a bit split about it. On one hand my grandpa is the only dad my mom has ever known, even though he's not her biological father but he has been in her life since she was 6 or something. So the concept is not strange to me. And how my parents are divorced and were able to find love afterwards, one of them with someone who didn't have kids of their own from before.
But on the other hand I'm unsure if I really want kids and it would be strange to be in a kids life like that without taking on some kind of father role, even if the biological fad is still in the picture and they have split custody.
It would depend on why she’s a single mom. It would depend on how many kids she has. It would depend on how financially stable she is. It would depend on how emotionally stable the family is.. I did that before and I became a stepdad to two kids without evaluating everything listed above because I was young and stupid and I thought love should cover everything and it doesn’t.
It also depends on how the boyfriend would get along with the potentially future stepchildren, because the kids have already suffered a divorce, and for some kids that shatters the world now they only have one parent around and you’re potentially competition for her attention.
The potential for conflict is tremendous.
I’m not saying that you absolutely should not date a single mom I’m just saying that you have a lot more considerations in your decision making process
If she was a good single mom, the type that takes care of her children. I dated this one girl with 2 children once and she neglected them constantly. I felt so bad for them, and it hits me too hard to witness that.
But yeah, I have no problem with it. The children may take a while to get used to me. The nice thing about dating a girl with children is you get to play games with them, and have more fun. It would take me back playing hide and go seek again!
I wouldn’t say never, but it is a ton of drama and can turn into a nightmare. The child will never be yours, so you will not be able to raise them as your own but you will assume financial responsibility, in many places even if you and her don’t work out. Also the possibility of a consecutive divorce is astronomically high.
I don’t think ‘should’ would be the right wording. If a person doesn’t want kids at all, then dating someone without kids might be better for them.
I did and we have now been together over 20 years. For me I think it worked because I was “daddies friend”, I wasn’t a new mum or anything for the first couple of years. It needs to be taken very slowly.
Other - it depends on a lot other factors.
In general, I am not a fan of single mothers, because in most cases they got themselves in that situation because of poor character and by making poor life choices. But there are exceptions, and for that reason I will not say no.
As I've said before a single mom to a guy is about as attractive as a homeless guy is to a woman.
It's not impossible. But she'd really have to show she is worth the gamble. Kids need consistency in thier life. Not adults coming in and out of it. I'm not going to put her kids through that.
Would depend how the woman became a 'single mom', If she be came a single mom because she or then partner did not use any of the 30+ methods of birth control, it would be a hard pass, If the woman is divorced (which is usually initiated by women 80% of the time) probably not, If she be came a single mom because if the death of her husband through illness/accidental death, I'd consider her.
I would. I have no problems with that. If I were dating now at my age I’d expect that’s a possibility.
If the kids are in high school, yeah if she brought enough to the table otherwise. If they're in preschool not so much.
I would be fine with dating a single mom. Being a single dad I can understand/relate when it comes to her child (ren).
Probably not.
I think Myron from Fresh & Fit makes a good point about it, saying it's not in a mans best interest to do that.
Ehh. It would depend on his relationship with his children’s mother. If there’s a lot of drama, see ya later. ✌🏾 However, if they have a cordial, co-parenting relationship, why not? 😊
I like kids - so if I was single, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
s No, as I don’t want kids myself, nor do I want to help someone else raise their kids
If I was in a position to and we hit it off, yeah I would date a single mom.
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