Do you think the biggest reason why a lot of men stay single for a long time, is because they don't have the guts to ask women out?

[Anonymous]

No

Duh

Yes, it's one of the biggest reasons

[whirled_up_girl]

Possibly but there also might not be many opportunities for these men to ask women out. It seems easier for couples to find each other when they are younger, high school, church, college etc. Work places have started to make rules about dating and asking people out on dates. That maybe leaves coffee shops, bars and public places but that isn't always a good idea either but some people don't like to be approached by strangers in public. Dating apps are pretty hit and miss, as is friends setting people up on blind dates.

[username98237498]

this☝️

[username98237498]

also i think people should be more open in public and stop thinking "some people don't like to be approached by strangers in public" even if that's true, if you meet in public someone like that, just say sorry be kind and walk away, but there are also lot of people who would love to meet someone like that (in public)!

[GreatBigCircles]

I don't think it's about courage, but ennui. A lot of guys end up socially isolated, and lack the social fluency to approach, interact, or make new friends or find new friend groups. And the longer they're out of the loop, the harder it gets. Eventually they just give up because they genuinely stop thinking it's possible for them to find friendship or meaningful relationships.

I mean, if I legitimately don't know where I'd go to make new friends in my life if I didn't have any already. Outside of bars, where is it acceptable for a stranger to sit down next to someone and have anything more than a light conversation? And even if you do, that's just one interaction, an most guys aren't going to feel comfortable asking for a number or to hang out with a single person after a single conversation. Sure, that bit might be guts, but it isn't fair to expect every guy to be asking someone he just met for personal information.

[JSmuve]

This is the answer right here!

[CaptainOverthink]

Yes.
But even if these things make it infinately harder, breaking thst cycle is all about guts abd being willing to look the fool/creep, because there's no way around that if you ain't smooth as butter.

[DarkWinterNights]

This is definitely a big part of it. I don’t know how to make friends anymore either. The only new friends I’ve gotten in the last decade have been a direct result of my primary friend group.

[CaptainOverthink]

I've lost all my schoolfriends. Most of my friends these days are from parties, random encounters and their friendgroups.
I've made a fool of myself many times being too forward and sometimes out if fear not enough forward to reconnect.

I've come to the conclusion that if you want to see someone again, you must go for it and be a "doer", much like with girls but more chill, go with the vibe, I guess.

[Lionman95]

Yes I think fear of being rejected or looked at weird is the main reason. Nowadays with all the social media and online stuff communication skills of guys aren´t even worse than they have ever been.

Another big reason is that many guys are aimless living their life without a goal and therefore wasting their time on stuff that´s not helping them finding a woman like videogames, junk food and porn.

Sure some guys are sleeping around and can´t find a mate because of it but that´s rather a minority.

[Lionman95]

Thanks for the MHO.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No, my brother is currently single. He has lots of girls asking him out, some girls asking him to spend a night with him, he always has the options, he has guts as well. But now he is financially not in a good situation and chooses to stay single. He has had his fair share of relationships and most of them ended by him.

[OlderAndWiser]

I can only speak for myself. If I was not in a committed relationship, and I was starting "fresh," I could probably have a date within two weeks and could continue dating different women until I found one with whom I shared a mutual desire. If other guys can't get out there and participate. . . that's just less competition for me!

[Pinay_ako]

Not because they don’t have the guts. Sometimes, they could be busy with life besides getting into a relationship. Like building a career, finishing studies, caring for a sick elderly parent or kids, or been burnt before that they don’t want to try anymore.

[Avicenna]

No, I don't think that's a major reason why. I think it's not seeing the women they'd feel comfortable dating out there and having had unpleasant experiences in previous relationships.

[stepyo99]

No, feminism has created an environment where there is nowhere to ask women out. Dating apps are trash and just a way to boost a woman's ego. Ask a woman out at a gym or coffee place or anywhere else and you're a "creep" who will get blasted on social media because she filmed you subjecting her to the patriarchy or some other bs.

Modern women are whiny losers who go home to their 3 cats and wonder where all the good men have gone while they dope themselves on benzos and birth control and talk about how they won't settle for anything less than 6' and six figure incomes because they're a princess.

[JSmuve]

I think it's a big reason but it's not the biggest reason. It's mainly because a lot of guys lack the opportunity to organically meet women. Looking at the replies from the women here, they're making it seem like all a guy has to do is walk up to the first girl he randomly sees on the street and he's guaranteed to get her number, which is absolutely ridiculous. Most women are scared of random men so even if he asked her out, she'd either say no, say she has a boyfriend, or give him a number so he'd go away. It'd be rare that he'd actually get a positive outcome unless he's either really good looking or really charismatic.

The fact is, it's just difficult to meet people nowadays, women especially, because we're either too closed off or too busy.

[EricSummer]

It's a key reason. Excessive shyness in general carries the greatest risk of staying single.

Another is lack of conversation skills or impaired communication. This hits especially people on the autistic spectrum, but also others.

Then, genuine ugliness is a risk, though plain looks will usually be fine for a man.

It is also difficult for men who are broke and out of work or who have visible disabilities.

[NatalieKeller95]

what would women not like about guys on the autistic spectrum exactly?

[EricSummer]

The problem is lack of conversation skills. As I wrote it can concern every man, but it will be more difficult for autistic people. Specific conversation training can help. However, in a relationship the woman also needs to be patient as the same type of communication difficulties can adversely impact their everyday life, too.

[Asker]

You also said "genuine ugliness". I mean is that likely, that a majority of people would find anyone ugly, with all the different tastes people have?

[Anonymous]

The biggest reasons why a lot of men stay single are:

1) Approaching women these days is a nightmare. https://katya-koval.medium.com/why-men-dont-approach-women-anymore-159975861c08

2) Marriage / commitment is not as appealing for men as it used to be. It's no longer the goal for men like it used to be, so a lot of men are just not even going down that road at all.

[Billlewis]

Yes. I've been in this situation quite frequently, and I generally feel more comfortable trying to establish a platonic relationship with her, and try to serve her in various ways. I'll offer to run errands for her and maybe do some of her household chores, and then gradually increase the number of tasks and chores I'm doing for her. I've had numerous non sexual relationships with women whose feet I took care of and maintained. Giving her pedicures and foot massages, etc.

[DermalPunch]

In my experience, men still consider themselves single even when they are involved with a woman. I have met virtually no men that don't have some woman they are at least marignally involved with. Placeholder, friends with benefits, sidepiece whatever you want to call it.

[inhua]

men are not obligated to date and even when they do, there are landmines that have replaced all the roadblocks where all it takes is 1 mistake to screw him over and there's no forgiveness from the public

[KrakenAttackin]

@inhua. Truth. Women have so many traps for men it's unreal. From the simp/friend zone orbiter (who provides validation and resources) to the baby trapping, false rape allegations, "family courts", criminal courts, #MeToo; et al, women have a full bandolier of weapons to employ against men, and they don't hesitate to use them. Modern women are completely without mercy or compassion.

[inhua]

@KrakenAttackin the simps make this worse because they enable such behavior. their only way of competition is to sabotage every other man and pray for false hope to work in their favor

[KrakenAttackin]

@inhua. I couldn't agree more. Simps are the real enemy. When men don't simp women have to actually become human.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[KrakenAttackin]

Not at all. Most men have been down that road and realize it's a losing strategy. Most younger women are bent on riding the cock carousel hard, until they hit 30 or so. By the time a modern woman has "found herself" and is ready to "settle down", she has kids from another man (men), and has been run through. For the average guy this is not attractive.

[cosmosis181]

I know a female in Texas who just got out of prison after a decade for killing one of her kids. She's 33 now. Posting up online how she's going "man hunting" and how "all these guys need to chill trying to get with her." THOSE are the standards we deal with now. Can you imagine what females standards are that have a REGULAR background? Because this is the mentality of a female in the age group you're talking about that's an ex con CHILD KILLER.👀👀👀And ads are ALL OVER social media from women inmates in various states wanting "pen pals" and "financial support." Their videos are ALL OVER TikTok. American females are straight garbage now. Absolute landfill bottom of your shoe slime.

[KrakenAttackin]

@cosmosis181 Damn, that's crazy shit, but not surprising. A casual stroll through TikThot shows how far western woman have fallen. No morals, no substance, no value add if any kind.

For every woman that lives in ultra-easy-mode, it means men have to collectively work that much harder and longer to support women's lifestyle.

[Sharkstealth]

I have asked many women out I my life time but I was born thin and you can't be a thin man. A thin female every guy wants. No the reason men stay single, me not included, is that with equal rights women take everything a man has and gets away with it. It's just not worth it anymore. Women see everything as an interview. I have 10 guys wanting my attention and I'm going to drop 9 after I get lots of free stuff and then after I marry ill cheat constantly then dump him and take his money.

[mommymommymommy]

Kind of, but, its' not so much asking them out, it's, committing. You don't HAVE to ask someone out and automatically be in a relationship with them. It's just sort of assumed that if you do, you're not seeing other people. Unfortunately that's not true, you can't just assume that they're not.

Being single just means, you're still "dating", and not settling down

[Shamalien]

it was definitely a reason for me as a young man. It was more than that though really…I just matured socially in a slower way than other people. I was horny but didn’t understand how dating really worked. It is a confusing time in history to date tbh…the rules aren’t clear.

[Truthatanycost]

Nothing to do with guts... the juice isn't worth the squeeze and more men are likely realizing this as time goes on. Why should I invest any of my time, attention or energy when body counts are as high as ever!

[Anemone978]

I think it is just hard to meet people in general now and a lot of men don't want to date seriously if they aren't financially stable. Which seems like a lot of guys now especially in their 20's even some in their early 30's.

[Silver158]

for some guys yes, but for other's it's because they can't be bothered dealing with all the crap that comes along with dating a woman. you have to keep her happy etc but you've also got other guys hovering and trying to get her to break up with you and go with them etc. It's rarely worth it

[Spongebobssocks]

Yes,

The more women you ask out the higher the chance is. The worst that can happen is she says no.

[asphaltrhymes]

Or it can be awkward if you two ever see each other regularly or again lol 😅😆

[Spongebobssocks]

@asphaltrhymes yeah but maybe dont ask those women out

[asphaltrhymes]

Don't keep local then, that's the moral

[asphaltrhymes]

🙃😁 lol

[Spongebobssocks]

@asphaltrhymes 😆👍🏻

[inhua]

that's not the worst that can happen. the worst that can absolutely happen is when the cops show up to his doorstep and arresting him for alleged rape/domestic violence.

[Spongebobssocks]

@inhua how is asking a woman out rape or dosmestic violence? It's not like he punsh them in the face if they say no...

[inhua]

asking a woman out is not rape or domestic violence but let's not pretend there aren't some women out there who will respond negatively and have no issues with ruining a man's life.

not every woman would do this but there's enough of these bad women to warrant some level of concern given that society is not very forgiving towards men who abuse women even if the men have been falsely accused and are actually innocent

[Spongebobssocks]

@inhua a woman can't just accuse a man of rape and he goes to prison. There has to be evidance. Same with all crime.. that's why the court exists.

Most women who aren't intressted will say no. Maybe a very few are mentally ill and would do that but as long as there is no evidance he'll be fine

[inhua]

I agree there needs to be evidence in a fair justice society but that doesn't stop outsiders from condemning a man even after he's been proven innocent.

there's also been no evidence to condemn Donald Trump, Brett Kavanagh, Andrew Tate, Jonathan Majors, multiple pro-athletes etc. yet they are still considered criminals according to some people. even Kobe Bryant was labeled a rapist during his funeral.

men who have been accused of any crimes towards women have a hard time integrating back into society. job opportunities become minimal, everyday harassment from cyberbullying to public name and shame. family and friends no longer want to associate with him etc.

the people I named are rich/famous celebrities. the average man stands no chance against this type of onslaught. the evidence for Amber Heard putting fake bruises on her face had to be revealed to finally prove Johnny Depp innocent because he was already presumed guilty without any evidence of sort and had to prove his innocence rather than his prosecutor prove his guilt

[Spongebobssocks]

@inhua i think this is much more commen with rich men because then women have something to gain from it. These type of women are clearly pure evil or suverely mentally ill but it's very rare in real life (avarage person). I have never heard of it happening in my private life. I've only heard the opposite actually. That they attack the claimed victim in real life (not celebrities).

Either way I dont think its good to have this fear when asking women out

[inhua]

there simply needs to be a shift in the cultural attitude towards men who have been found innocent and not treat them as if they're guilty.

not many women would accept a man who has been accused of being a rapist or a domestic abuser. job hirers are hesitant to hire someone could've been on the sex offenders registry list. parents wouldn't let them near their kids etc. even if a man has no fear of such, society will make sure this fear is instilled in him

[Spongebobssocks]

@inhua i agree there needs to be a shift. I won't believe until there is evidance. But at the same time if someone close to me came to me and said they were assualted I would help them and tell them to go to the police asap and do a rape kit. Then the evidance will have to speak for itself

[Belgie]

Fear is a part but I'm sure another part is lack of options or interest (teither they're not interested in the girls that are around or the girls that are around are not interested in them.)