The girl I was seeing suddenly broke up with me. Will she take me back?

[Meg26]

We met a couple of weeks ago and neither of us has ever had such good dates and such chemistry (her words, not mine). On our forth date we slept together a couple of times and the sex was perfect. After 3 days, I sent her a text that I was thinking about her all the time and wanted to meet her again. Which is when whe texted me that I was moving too fast into this and we are not on the same page and she'd rather end it before any of us gets hurt, even though she thinks I'm a "great guy" and she had so much fun on our dates.

Today, we'll be going out for coffee to talk about it and I can explain to her that it is just a misunderstanding and she can not hurt me.

It is important that you know, I'm 26 years old, have a couple of friends and a lot of hobbies. I've got a big flat and I do all right with girls. I'm busy and not at all desperate. I just want the connection we had.

Do you think she'd agree to continue going out with me?

Yes

Maybe

No way

[zeitgeist057]

You made a mistake telling her how valuable she was to you and that you were obsessing on her. She doesn't care about that and it scared her. She wants things to be casual, at least for now. If you really dig her and want to be part of her life in the future you need to get casual real quick and back off.

My recommendation is that at this coffee date you be really relaxed, explain you got a bit over excited and infatuated but that you get it. Just that the sex and chemistry was bomb so you wanted more of a good thing, but it's nbd if she's got someone else she's more into or didn't enjoy it as much.

If she wants to back burner it, let it happen. Always stay positive and she will orbit back into your space. Or not, but that's fine as you said you do fine with women so just let her have her freedom and tend to some other relationships for a while.

What you should definitely NOT do is try to convince her how y'all meant to be or how much you like her. You need to convince her that you are fun, playful, chill, and completely 100% okay with letting her go, but that you have had a lot of fun with her is all, and thought she did as well.

It's better to be a good memory, because it will draw her back when she has an eventual phase of boredom or loneliness. If you value her more than she values you, you won't see her again.

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of girls so this advice comes from an inside perspective.

A lot of girls are trying to be more casual than you would expect.

They go through boyfriend after boyfriend. Often times I've heard them say "he fell in love with me too fast."

And these are hot girls dating hot dudes with money and drugs and nice cars and girls on them left right and center.

But those same guys are dating a lot too, and being dumped a lot too.

Because the reality is many girls aren't looking to fall in love ASAP.

Just tell her that you're willing to play it as it goes and not to put labels and shit on it.

But it's probably too late. You already said you can't stop thinking about her. She knows you are going to get clingy and such.

[Daniela1982]

Moving too fast? She had sex with you after 4 dates! I hate to break it to you, but you have been played. She was just looking for something different from her other fuck buddies and you walked into it. She was just trying to be nice about it but was done with you and wanted to move on to greener pastures after filling this one up with her bullshit. If you are doing okay with other girls why worry about this player? Pull yourself together, get your chin up and move on. This one isn't worth your doldrums.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Love is a skill, not a random luckiness.

If someone’s not willing to work it out with you, you don’t need them back.

[coachTanthony]

If that is all true why do you let your ego take control? sounds like your ego just can't handle it. It's like more of a challenge to get her to like you then say no problem and move on.

[OlderAndWiser]

Dude, she already said that she doesn't want to go out with you any more. And she doesn't want to stay in for more bedroom fun, either.

[Anonymous]

Can't be sure but surely she's not worth your love. If a guy loves me that much like you do her I would never ever break up with him. Too fast shouldn't be an issue for true love. If she thinks that way she don't deserve a deep love. A deep love always tolerates everything. If she isn't willing to get connected to you on that level, she might not be worth your love as your love is higher than her. I would suggest you to make her understand it or else move on to some better girl who can understand your needs better than her. I can't say if she comes back or not but surely not worth your love. She comes back when she misses you and goes away again when she feels your love deep. Do you want all these drama with her? You can simply move on from her without any further efforts if she keeps on hurting you even after you explain her everything. Let her be with a man who loves lesser than you. That time she understands what she lost. Not simply girls, even some guys are like her. They leave the girl after attaching her to them and doesn't care anymore about her life or her feelings. These type of girls or guys exactly deserve what they give. I mean they deserve someone who leaves not loves

[DeeDeeDeVour]

All that 'moving too fast into this and we are not on the same page and she'd rather end it before any of us gets hurt, even though she thinks I'm a "great guy" and she had so much fun' yada yada yada was just said to mask the fact two strong possibilities:

1. Dissatisfaction with the sex... "Sex was perfect" only according to you, not her.

2. Despite the "chemistry" she mentioned, she's just not that into you as you are.

Sorry.

Just move on.

[Screenwriter]

She broke up with you. Maybe she's scared, wary, or regrets that she had sex too fast. These are guesses. But the point is broke up with you.

Thinking about her all the time is not a phrase I'd want to hear after a fourth date and a few weeks of knowing someone. Her CLEAR statements are we are not on the same page and she'd rather end it.

I don't know why you want to have coffee with her. There's nothing you can explain to her, from what's she said. And you are quite naive to believe someone can't hurt you.

You haven't known this woman well enough or long enough to know what she could or could not do, or how you'd feel after a more long-term relationship ended.

Be at peace with her decision and move on. And go more slowly next time.

[Anonymous]

You said 'I'm busy and not at all desperate.'

Then ensure that your actions match that. When you say 'After 3 days, I sent her a text that I was thinking about her all the time and wanted to meet her again.' that is the sort of thing you let her say. Notice how everything went downhill after you said that and not before? It would have been better to simply arrange to meet.

When you ask 'Do you think she'd agree to continue going out with me? ' that sounds like you see her as above you. The best way to have her interested again is to stop holding onto her so tightly and to take her down from the pedestal.

[AnusNdaPainus]

First off don’t take any advice from the women on here especially from

femmefatale🙄

if you really want to date talk to multiple women

cut her off completely and FOCUS ON YOURSELF let her decide if she wants to come back

you can still date but if you focus on self improvement you will have way more options and get a much better woman than her

I promise you women like her are a dime a dozen and she wasn’t with you for no reason become the man you were destined to be and she’ll be begging to come back

Be Cold

silence your heart

stop thinking with your diq

cut her off

join a gym

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You have to understand the kinda girl you are dealing with that sleeps kinda quick with a guy like she did with you, that you aren't the 1st one she slept with that quick.

These type of women aren't seriously invested in serious relationships or marriage but rather they are invested in being sex buddies with no emotions involved.

You heavily invested in her emotionally through sex but she didn't with you and most likely won't neither.

I would advice, it's best to learn from this and try to move on because if you stick around her and keep having sex with her then your hurt I'd going to be much worse later on when she gets rid of you for good.

[jeffend888]

She got bored and found something better on Tinder. Once you get the "I think you're a great guy, but...". It's over forever.

Something you guys in your 20s have to realize - women have such a plethora of options now, it's obnoxious.

25 years ago, there was some wiggle room because access to supply of men was confined to school or work or bars. Now it's school, work, bars, social media, dating apps and God knows where else on the internet so supply has increased 5000 fold.

When women have an ungodly amount of options, you men have very little wiggle room for any mistakes, or what she deems as a mistake, if any.

Trust me, once you get closer to 30, women will be a lot less picky because they will be seeking a forever partner because they will be getting closer to 30 and they know their biological clock is ticking so their standards go down quite a bit.

[ShesRad80]

that old "great guy" line is so lame, instead of her saying i met someone else. block her, move on, it doesn't sound like she is interested and or pursuing anything with you. however her, leaving it more like a friendly break means she could keep you as an option to use later on.

[SueShe]

... you are doing right with girls and you are not desperate...

Your post seems kind of desperate to me. If you do right with girls, I understand that you casually fornicate with them as well.

She probably realized that fact and does not just want to be yet another number on your list of conquests.

I feel that you have a hard time accepting that she does not want to pursue that relationship. Let her go and don't try to hang on something that has no long term future.

[Meg26]

I know I'm gonna be OK and I should probably let her go. However, what you are saying is not consistent with why she broke up with me... she said that I was moving too fast (emotionally)

[HitsyHonesty]

Nobody here can say for sure! What we do know is that your little coffee meeting will clear things up!
If you're moving too fast, you can back down a little if you think she is worth it. But if by moving slower she means seeing each other less, I personally don't think she's going to take you back.

[Harness]

I have couples of friends, I have hobbies, a big flat and do well with girls. I'm not at all desperate -really man? It's like the very definition of desperate... it seems you, yourself, don't value what you have... If you did, she would... My take is just step back, live your life... she may return, she may not; if she does you may already have something better... if not, which I very much doubt, you may accept her. But I guarantee you will never see her the same way...

[CallmeTheKnight]

Stop just stop bro. She’s not for you and most definitely not into you at all. You keep trying and you gonna make a damn fool of yourself. The both of you don’t even know each other. Move on and learn from the negatives to make positives for yourself.

[Paul_in_Indy]

Just shake hands with this girl as a friend, go out get fucked and clear your head, then move on. After a good blow job you will feel less urgent about hanging on to something that can only be drama.

[Paris13]

Explain to Her she was Right and being Friends to Start is where You'd like to Be. That's all You can Hope for. Welcome to Gag and Best of Luck. xxoo

[BoopBoopBeep]

Not if you're lucky. Otherwise you'll be having this conversation again in a month. Chalk this one up as a L and move on.

[RedInnocent68]

Don’t lead with ‘it’s just a misunderstanding, you can’t hurt me’ or it will go from maybe to no way. Let her lead, hear where she’s at and what she wants.

[Carina0]

Maybe but you don't want her to think you're under her thumb so don't text her till she texts you first. Go with the flow and try not to think about her (I know it may not seem easy but you'll be happier)

[VictorMachiavelli]

The sex wasn't as good for her as it was for you.